The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge: Round 11 Part 2 Reviews

Time to head back to Stoneybrook to catch up with our favorite babysitters! Are you ready? Here we go.....

EvilEva reviews...... The Baby-Sitters Club Mystery #5: Mary Anne and the Secret in the  Attic by Ann M. Martin. 

Circa: 1992.

Dissecting The Cover:
Because you can judge a book by its cover!
*OMG! Mary Anne is actually in her attic hidey hole! At least her daddy allowed her to have a flashlight. Mary Anne's lucky she's an only child. If you find a creep named Christopher up there you better haul ass, Mary Anne!

Let's Review:
It's time for Heritage Day in Stoneybrook! Heritage Day is a made up holiday in which we celebrate our ancestors moving to Stoneybrook by making the elementary school students do research papers, write poems, perform skits and other assorted shit. While that sounds like one of the dullest holidays ever to me, the BSC is crazy excited about it. Except sad sack Mary Anne.
Because unlike the rest of the Baby-Sitters Club, Mary Anne's mother died when Mary Anne was just a baby and her dad is super controlling and refuses to tell her anything about her past. And Mary Anne is too much of a sad sack chicken shit to actually woman up and just demand that her dad tell her what she wants to know.
So Mary Anne roots through boxes in the attic to find anything she can about her past. What Mary Anne finds are pics of herself as a baby with two old people she's never seen before and letters written by these old people to her father. Mary Anne finds out that after her mother died of this mystery illness that no one ever names, her father sent her off to live with her mother's parents. So Mary Anne thinks that her dad didn't want her and instead of, i don't know, ASKING HIM ABOUT IT, Mary Anne mopes around for a week or so.
Then she accidentally picks up the phone while her father's talking to someone on it. That someone is Mary Anne's grandmother! And she wants Mary Anne back! But Mary Anne's father didn't have that hidey hole in the attic where he stores Mary Anne when she's not baby-sitting built for nothing! So G-Maw can suck it! Mary Anne gets super emotional as she is wont to do. But again, doesn't confront her dad.
Meanwhile, the BSC decide to make a booth for Heritage Day. They're gonna make giant cardboard cutouts of famous Stoneybrookians and take people's pictures with them and give the proceeds to the historical society. Cos the BSC are such fucking goody-goodies.
Well while making the cutouts, at Mary Anne's house natch, they spill paint and Logan is suddenly topless and music is blaring and it's all just a big ol' mess. Then the doorbell rings! Mary Anne answers it and thinks the lady is a social worker sent by her evil G-Maw to prove that Mary Anne's dad is an unfit parent! Oh noes! Loud music, a messy household, and a shirtless 13 year old boy in the house will not make a good case for Mary Anne's dad!
Mary Anne worries about this now. Again, not telling her dad any of her thoughts or fears.
Finally it's Heritage Day! And seeing everyone else's non-jacked up family's proudly displaying their non-jacked up family trees, Mary Anne finally breaks down and tells her dad that she snooped through the boxes in the attic. She finally tells him that she feels like a part of her is missing cos he never talks about her mom or their past. 
So Mary Anne's dad finally explains all the shizz about her grandparents. When her mother died, Mary Anne's dad sent her to live with her grandparents so he could get his shit together. Then when he finally got his shit together he immediately wanted her back but the grandparents weren't sure he was ready. So they kinda fought over Mary Anne and her dad won. And since her grandparents were kinda douchey, he never let them see her again.
Now her dad is butt hurt because Mary Anne feels incomplete. So he gives her a letter from her mom that he was supposed to give her on her 16th birthday. 
Mary Anne's happy but still upset that she's gonna be shipped off to live with her evil grandmother that she doesn't even know. 
Her dad explains that her G-Maw doesn't want custody. She just wants Mary Anne to visit. 
But what about the social worker?
Well it wasn't a social worker at all. It was just a census taker wanting to know how many people lived in their house! Oh how stupid Mary Anne feels! 
But she would like to visit her G-Maw now that she knows she's not an evil old lady that wants to kidnap her. 
So Mary Anne heads to Iowa and writes the most boring correspondence EVER. But we wouldn't expect anything less from sad sack Mary Anne!

Say Whaaat!?:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
We'll just give it to Ann M. Martin herself for this racy nugget of inappropriateness:

Logan got the worst of it: his shirt was nearly covered with paint. "This is ridiculous," he said. "Every time I move, I get more paint on me." He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off.
"Woo!" said Kristy.

What are you Wooing for Kristy? We all know you wish it was Shannon taking off her shirt.

EvilEva reviews...... The Baby-Sitters Club Mystery #11: Claudia and the Mystery of the Museum by Ann M. Martin.
Circa: 1993.

Dissecting The Cover:
*Huh. Claudia's actually dressed like a semi-normal human being today.
*What is up with that suit of armor? That must have been a very ill-shaped knight. His legs are teeny tiny and his arms nearly reach the floor. 
*That security guard doesn't look too concerned with the broken display case. He looks mad because Claudia's outfit isn't nearly "wild" enough.
* The tagline reads:

What kind of crook would steal art?

Um, an art thief?

Let's Review:
Claudia's super excited about the new museum in Stoneybrook! It'll be a great place to take her baby-sitting charges, plus it has some pieces by her fave sculptor, Don Newman. 
So Claudia rounds up some art-loving kids and takes them to the museum. While they're there the museum is robbed! Someone steals ancient coins! 
Because of her Nancy Drew obsession (my girl!) Claudia thinks she can totes solve this mystery. She starts by looking at museum-goers as suspects. There's a Brownie troupe, a custodian, a few families and a questionable guy with one blue eye and one green eye. Clearly that's the sign of the devil. So this guy must be the culprit. 
Claud tells the rest of the BSC about the robbery and how she wants to solve the case. 
The BSC puzzles til their puzzlers are sore. When suddenly Mallory has a flash of genius! Whoever stole the coins must have hidden them somewhere in the museum because shortly after the alarm bells went off everyone was patted down. The girls decide to head back to the museum to look for clues. Claudia sees the man with one blue eye and one green eye again! The BSC tails him throughout the museum until he gets annoyed and leaves. The girls think it's very suspicious that this guy got all annoyed that a group of girls were following him around while he tried to enjoy the art. So blue eye/green eye is definitely a suspect. 
Claudia goes back to the museum again to see the Don Newman exhibit. Stacey goes with. 
While molesting one of Don Newman's sculptures, Claudia gets the feeling that it might be a fake. So she marches to the curator's office to tell him so. The curator thinks Claudia's full of shit but humors her by checking the sculpture. He seems to think it's fine. Claudia doesn't. The curator acts kinda douchey. So now he's bumped blue eye/green eye to suspect #2 and taken his place as suspect numero uno. 
And since he was being so douchetastic and Claudia completely doesn't trust him anymore, she swipes one of his resumes which he just so happens to have lying about on his desk. 
So the girls hit the library to research the no good curator and find out that there have been multiple robberies at various museums he's worked at.
And Claudia can't get the sculpture out of her head so she dials up information and gets Don Newman's home number. She calls and tells him that she thinks his art may be a fake. Don Newman is the opposite of douchetastic and invites Claudia to a fancy soiree at the museum which he'll also be attending. He tells her they can check on the piece together. Don Newman is being super nice to Claudia. EvilEva wonders if Chris Hanson needs to be summoned.
So Claudia dons a fancy kimono and attends the fancy formal event. She meets up with Don and they go to check out his sculpture. But it's gone! It's been packed up and ready to ship to his next show. So Claud and Don head to the storage room. Before they can get inside a custodian walks up. So they hide. The custodian goes into the storage room, finds the sculpture and pulls the stolen coins from a hidden compartment inside the sculpture and drops them in his mop bucket. Don tackles the custodian and blue eye/green eye tackles Don! Turns out blue eye/green eye is a special agent that deals with art thievery! And the curator was hired for his special robbery-prevention skills! And the custodian was gonna sell the coins to a museum in Switzerland! Who are supposed to be neutral!
But Claudia saved the day! Even though it was by dumb lucky and she originally thought the good guys were the thieves!

Say Whaaat!?:
And most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Claudia, for attempting to describe the reason behind Mary Anne's dad's new laid-backness:

Remember I mentioned that Mary Anne's father had loosened up a little? Well, we think it may have had something to do with the fact that he fell in love again with an old high school girlfriend, and then married her.

It also might be because he's getting laid now on a regular basis.

Oh, and also there's this:
Claudia describes why every other Kishi is a piece of shit:

They also wish I would a) stop eating junk food and b) stop reading Nancy Drew books.

Fuck you, Mr. and Mrs. Kishi.

That's all from Stoneybrook for this month. I can't believe that I only have one more round of super book nostalgia to get through before the year is up. *sigh* But don't worry. I plan on revisiting the BSC in a big way next month! Hint: it'll be Super Special! ;)

The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge: Round 11 Part 1 Reviews

Have y'all been desperately missing the antics of Karen Brewer, little sister to the bossiest, least likable member of The Baby-Sitters Club? Yeah me neither. But let's check in with her annoying ass anyway.

EvilEva reviews...... Baby-Sitters Little Sister #1: Karen's Witch by Ann M. Martin.

 
Circa: 1988.

Dissecting The Cover:
Because you can judge a book by its cover!
* Karen is wearing a truly fulgy sweater and jeans that look about two sizes too long. Isn't your dad a millionaire? I know he is because it's mention ALL THE TIME in The Baby-Sitters Club series.
* Karen's face kinda looks like that kid's from Jerry Maguire. Also it looks like it may weigh more than 8 pounds.  
* She's spying on her neighbor whom she thinks is a witch. But Mrs. Porter is just old. And Karen is just stupid.
* Mrs. Porter's house is fucking sweet! Except for its close proximity to Karen's house. Only drawback.
* The tagline reads:

Is Karen's next-door neighbor a witch?

No, but Karen is an idiot.

Let's Review:
Karen Brewer is a six year old (almost seven year old!) busybody that's always all up in everyone else's Kool-Aid. She's also a close-minded dumbass who thinks her next door neighbor, Mrs. Porter is a witch just because she wears black and has white hair and owns a black cat and an herb garden.
One night after reading witch stories, Karen swears she sees Mrs. Porter, whom she's stupidly dubbed Morbidda Destiny, fly from the second floor window of her house on a broomstick. Karen is, of course, full of doo doo. 
So she decides to spy on The Stupidly Dubbed Morbidda Destiny with her bff, Hannie. The girls overhear The Stupidly Dubbed Morbidda Destiny talking to herself while gardening. She says something about an "important meeting," and "company coming," and "midnight." So Karen's dumb ass thinks The Stupidly Dubbed Morbidda Destiny is planning a witches meeting at midnight. Well Karen won't stand for this bullshizz so she and Hannie go and filch some of The Stupidly Dubbed Morbidda Destiny's herbs from her garden and decide to make up their own spell to ward off the witches so that they can save their neighborhood. Save their neighborhood from what, I don't know. 
Anyway, they place the herbs in their pockets and march up to The Stupidly Dubbed Morbidda Destiny's door. The Stupidly Dubbed Morbidda Destiny is surprised to see them since I would assume that she hates them and thus never invites them over to her house. But, be that as it may, The Stupidly Dubbed Morbidda Destiny lets the girls in. Bad move, The Stupidly Dubbed Morbidda Destiny. 
Karen goes into the room where all the "witches" have gathered and she calls them out on their witchy ways and tells them that if they try to ruin her neighborhood then she will fucking bury them. And by fucking bury them she means tattle on them to her super rich daddy. Then Hannie starts crying. 
Karen's grandmother, who happens to be friends with The Stupidly Dubbed Morbidda Destiny, explains to Karen that this isn't a witch meeting, it's a garden club meeting. Grams makes the girls apologize for being so stupid and then escorts them off of the property. 
Karen's taken home and forced to explain to her parents that she spied on their neighbor and falsely accused her and all her friends of being evil witches and warlocks. But Karen doesn't get in much trouble cos she was oh so nobly trying to save the neighborhood. From gardeners. 
But her parents do make her write an apology letter to The Stupidly Dubbed Morbidda Destiny. And that's all for her punishment. Even though she totes still thinks The Stupidly Dubbed Morbidda Destiny is a witch. 
So Karen basically learned......... um, nothing. 

Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Karen, natch. For this:

"Hey!" I exclaimed. "Let's pretend we're witches. Wouldn't that be fun?"

Uh, bitch, this whole time you've been a huge a-hole about Mrs. Porter maybe being a witch and now you wanna pretend to be one?!?!? So I guess the only acceptable way to be a witch is if you're Karen. What a bitch!

EvilEva reviews...... Baby-Sitters Little Sister #3: Karen's Worst Day by Ann M. Martin.
Circa: 1989.

Dissecting The Cover:
*Aw, Boo Boo the cat looks like a neighborhood cat that used to take up residence in our backyard all the time. I mean, except for the Hitler mustache. 
* Karen looks so stupid on this cover. She doesn't look like she's upset that Boo Boo tree-ed himself just to get away from her. She looks like someone just beamed her upside the head with a pine cone. Oh how I wish that someone was me.
* Karen has a lot of signatures on her cast. I find it hard to believe that that many people like Karen enough to want to sign her cast. Although, truth be told, I've always wanted to sign someone's cast:
Way to go, dumbass!
Karen's would be the perfect cast to sign that way!

Let's Review:
Karen is having a really bad day. In fact it's her Worst Day EVER! In fact it may be the Worst Day of anyone's life Ever EVER! Karen is in no way overdramatizing the horribleness of this day. I mean, she started the day waking up from a nightmare! Then she realizes that she forgot her new fave jeans with the zippers up the sides at her mom's house!
Then Andrew gets the last of the Crunch-O's cereal and the prize! And even when Elizabeth tries to help make Karen less bitchy by giving her a new box of Crunch-O's, Karen is devastated to find that the prize pack is EMPTY! I mean, who cares that there are starving non-bitchy children in Africa that would totally take that cereal even without a prize.
So Karen decides to turn her day around by watching some hilarious Mr. Ed reruns. But Mr. Ed's timeslot has been hijacked by some "special program." Probably about those hungry African kids. Man, Karen just cannot catch a break.
But it's still early in the morning so maybe Karen can make herself feel better by playing with Shannon the dog. But Shannon, much like myself, can't be bothered with Karen and her dumbassery. So Karen tries to play with Boo Boo the cat instead. But Boo Boo, much like myself, would rather climb a tree than hang out with Karen. Finally Boo Boo jumps down but still has no interest in playing with Karen.
Meanwhile, Morbidda Destiny is busy minding her own business in her own yard and exclaims "fiddlesticks!" Which Karen, being a complete moron, thinks is a curse. So Karen runs inside.
Then Karen's bff Hannie comes over with her brother and asks if Karen and David Michael would like to ride bikes to Harry's Brook to catch minnows and have a picnic.
Well Karen loses her shit and calls Hannie a toad because she so insensitively asked Karen to ride bikes when she knows good and damn well that Karen can't ride a bike on account of her broken arm. Karen storms back into the house while Hannie, her brother and David Michael pedal off to enjoy a Karen-free afternoon.
Kristy doesn't get off so easily. She's forced to play checkers with Satan. I mean, Karen. But Karen gets pissy when Kristy lets her win so she storms off yet again.
Then even more bad shit happens.
Karen's stuffed cat gets ripped, there's no more cherry Italian ice on Mr. Tastee's ice cream truck and Andrew got a package and Karen didn't so she acts like an even bigger d-bag to him since he can totally control when people mail shit to him.
But finally at dinnertime, things start turning around. Karen's family discuss their own horrible days and Karen realizes that as far as bad days go she would hold the record for the most shitious things happening to a person in one day! So Karen is a winner!  
Then things get Even Better after dinner cos Charlie and Sam take Karen to go get ice cream. And the ice cream parlor actually has exactly what Karen wants. And Charlie's friends thought Karen was 26 and that she was Charlie's girlfriend which delights Karen to no end because she doesn't understand how you're not supposed to date your stepbrother especially if you're 10 years older than him.
Anyway, they go home and Karen apologizes to all the people who felt her wrath today. And everyone accepts her apology because you don't wanna be on Karen's shit list. The end!

Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Karen, for her explanation of why she's going to read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day to her brother Andrew:

"Do you want me to read it to you?" If I read it, you might understand how I felt. And why I yelled at you."

Uh, you yelled at him because you're a jackass that can't be happy for anyone else.

Well y'all, it's official--- No more Karen Brewer in 2011!!! Yay!!! We survived!!! Will we be as lucky in 2012? We'll just have to wait and see. ;) 

The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge: Round 9 Part 2 Reviews

Well y'all it's time for more gigundoly shitty reading. You know what that means. More of that controlling bitch Karen Brewer. Lets see if we can stand her for two whole books.

EvilEva reviews...... Baby-Sitters: Little Sister #101: Karen's Chain Letter by Ann M. Martin.

Circa: 1998.

Dissecting The Cover:
Because you can judge a book by its cover!
*OMG Karen has a fucking side-ponytail! Bitch, this is circa: 1998, what are you doing still wearing a side-pony?!
*Karen, ditch the Sally Jesse glasses already. 
*I know they have schools for the blind but do they also have special schools for the really, really near-sighted? Why is everyone wearing glasses?
*The boy on the cover, who I can only assume is that nub Ricky Torres, looks way overeager. he looks like he may have just jizzed his pants in delight. 

Lets Review:
Karen has a new hobby. Stamp collecting! And she is gigundoly excited about it even though it sounds like about the dullest thing EVER. But Karen wishes she could get even more stamps so she almost shits her pants with joy when she gets a chain letter because Karen is an idiot! This chain letter promises good luck and postcards.
So Karen gets super excited about this chain letter business. That is, until her dad completely shatters all of her stamp collecting dreams by shutting down her idea because it's too "dangerous" to willingly send "complete strangers" your home address especially when you're a "minor."
Well Karen won't let a little thing like her dad telling her no stop her. She decides to put her name along with the address of... her school on the chain letter. Cos Karen's a thinker, y'all.
While Karen waits for her postcards to come pouring in, she proudly shows off her stamp collection to anyone that'll look at it. Suddenly stamp collecting fever hits Ms. Colman's second grade class much like the Beanie Baby craze of yesteryear. 
Karen finally starts getting a butt ton of postcards (and even better--- stamps!) Her chain letter is finally paying off! Which means now all of her classmates wanna get in on it too. But Ms. Colman isn't happy. She doesn't wanna be Karen's personal postal worker and is pissed that her class is interrupted every time Karen gets mail. So Ms. Colman calls Karen's dad and she gets in big fat trouble cos she lied when she told Ms. Colman that using the school's address was her father's idea.
So now whenever Karen receives a postcard she has to share the stamps with her loser classmates. Even worse than having to--- Eww!---share, the other kids were smart enough to print their own addresses on the chain letter so they get the stamps from their postcards  and half of Karen's! Boo and bullfrogs, it's so unfair! 
So Karen acts like a brat cos stamp collecting was her idea first and now because Ms. Colman is such a ginormous bitch, Karen's collection is gonna be the shittiest in the class. All seems lost, but then Ricky actually reads his postcard and the class finds out that these children that have been writing to their selfish asses were actually waiting for a response. So then Karen comes up with the idea of starting their own class website so that they might correspond with these kids more expediently than with snail-mail. So Ms. Colman agrees to start a website cos you don't wanna be on Karen's shitlist too long and everything ends the way it's supposed to--- Karen's way.

Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
It's a tie! First we congratulate Karen's dad for this nugget:

"First of all," said Daddy, "it is against the law to send some chain letters through the mail. The post office keeps track of these things. If you send a chain letter that tells people to send money, you can be arrested."

What!?! I'm pretty sure you'll only get arrested if your chain letter is laced with anthrax. But thanks for the scare tactic, Mr. Brewer (and subsequently Ann M. Martin.)And second we have to give it to Karen for her unflagging self importance:

One thing surprised me. None of the messages mentioned me specifically.

Bitch, who the fuck do you think you are?

EvilEva reviews...... Baby-Sitters: Little Sister #107: Karen's Copycat by Ann M. Martin.
Circa: 1999.

Dissecting The Cover:
*Karen looks especially douche-y on this cover. She's got her lower lip poked out, pouting like a baby over some flacid penis.
*Meanwhile the chick next to Karen, well her penis has a total hard on.
*Bitch, it is 1999. You are on the cusp of the new millennium, what is with the fucking side-ponytail?
*The tagline reads:

Karen knows it's wrong but...

...she really wants Patrick Swayze's ghost to help her not suck at pottery.

Lets Review:
Karen and Andrew have a new nanny! Her name is Merry and she is gigundoly awesome! Merry is also a potter and since she has no other choice, she lets Karen and Andrew join her class. Karen assumes that she's gonna be the best damn potter that ever lived cos she's that delusional. But when she starts class she soon realizes that pottery is harder than she thought. Even worse, there's a girl named Isabel who is the dopest potter in the land.
Well this simply cannot be. Someone is better than Karen at something? Preposterous!
So Karen decides to steal one of Isabel's exquisitely coiled vases and claim it as her own. But Karen starts developing stealers remorse (which is like buyers remorse but for thieves.)
So Karen thinks about confessing until she learns that Isabel is absent the day they decorate the pottery. So Karen will make the vase unrecognizable to Isabel by adding triangles and squiggly lines. Karen thinks she's the criminal mastermind of the pottery world. But slow your roll Karen cos at the next class Isabel it back! And she totes notices that the vase is hers even through Karen's subpar squiggles. 
Well Isabel won't stand for this big steaming pile of bullshit. She totally calls Karen out in front of the whole class! Karen thinks there's no way Isabel can prove that Karen's a big fat lying liar that lies (and steals!) But Isabel can prove it cos she's a lefty which means she coils counterclockwise as opposed to all the righties in class that coil clockwise. So suck on that, Karen! 
Merry looks over "Karen's vase" and discovers counterclockwise coils. She is disappointed that she's the nanny of a liar and a thief. Karen gets in trouble for being such a horrible human being. Merry makes her push the chairs in after class and apologize to Isabel for totes ripping off her work. Which is getting off pretty easy if you ask me. Merry even tells Karen that she doesn't have to tell her parents specifically why she's in trouble, just that she got in trouble in class. So Karen feels all contrite and shit so she's then rewarded with a special pottery class just for her and her friends. And they even get to use the pottery wheel which Isabel never got to use! 
Look I've said it before and I'll say it again: don't fuck with Karen Brewer. Somehow she always gets her way. Even if she has to be a complete menace to do it. 
In fact, I'm really sticking my neck out here for you guys, making fun of Karen like this. 
If my posts suddenly stop--- y'all know who will be responsible. :)

Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Karen, for her reasoning on why certain rules don't apply to her:

Perhaps complaining about copying was not the smartest thing to do. After all, I had been copying Isabel. But that was different somehow. (I was not sure exactly how, but it did feel different to me.)

You're not exactly sure how it's different because it's NOT different, you hypocritical wad! Instead of Karen's Copycat, this book should have been called Karen's A Stupid Bitch That Thinks Copying Is Only OK When She Does It. Although I guess that's kinda long for a book title.

You're in luck (and so am I) cos we're done with Karen for awhile.
Coming in October: more R.L. Stine Fear Street nostalgic goodness!

The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge: Round 9 Part 1 Reviews

It's time for more super nostalgic fun! So lets BSC it up with some reviews of our junior officers Jessi and Mallory! (Or in Ann M. Martin speak, the black one and the redhead.)

EvilEva reviews...... The Baby-Sitters Club #27: Jessi and the Superbrat by Ann M. Martin.

Circa: 1989.

Dissecting The Cover:
Because you can judge a book by its cover!
*Jessi is wearing some truly fulgy pants. She looks like her legs are covered in postcards. Maybe Claudia made them for her and she just feels obligated to wear them.
*Wow. The kids on this cover are REALLY ugly. They look like disgruntled members of the Lollipop Guild. The kid in the brown shirt (who I'm guessing is famous child star Derek Masters) looks super pissed. Perhaps one of the Pike triplets made fun of his shuttlecock. Badminton joke!

Lets Review:
I don't know if you guys know this or not but there's this super awesome TV show called P.S. 162 and the star of it hails from right here in Stoneybrook! And he's back! And he needs a babysitter! And Jessi is the lucky BSC member that gets to sit for the Derek Masters! And Jessi is so excited to babysit an honest to goodness star!
She wants to know all about Hollywood and what it's like being on TV and working with that dreamboat Lamont. But Derek doesn't wanna talk about any of that shizz. He just wants to be a real boy. But people won't stop hounding him about his child stardom. I mean, is this the BSC or TMZ? Calm it down, ladies!
And to add to Derek's 99 problems and a bitch ain't one, there's some DoucheMagoo at school named John that is totes harshin' on Derek, knocking his books out of his hand and tying his shoelaces together so that he trips.
Well the Baby-Sitters Club is, of course, here to help even though they don't actually do anything except Claudia invites a gaggle of boys from the playground over to Derek's house one day to play. So Derek starts making friends. Hooray! But then he gets offered a role in a movie and it's "Fuck you very much Stoneybrook" and Derek prepares to head back to L.A.
Aw, everyone is sad so they decide to throw Derek a goodbye party/pancake breakfast! Meanwhile in Subplottia, Jessi decides to try out for a super professional version of Swan Lake. She's totes nervous about it and doesn't know if she's good enough to be a background dancer that no one will probably even look at anyway. So in the meantime she'll follow sage advice given to her by an 8 year old. Derek suggests to Jessi that she take up modeling and acting. She can start out doing local commercials and print work and then work her way up to having her own TV series. Because it's just that easy! That's why there are so few actor/waiters in L.A. because anyone with a dream and an iota of determination mixed with a splash of nothing better to do can make it big!
So Jessi gets so wrapped up in writing down agents phone numbers on index cards that she completely forgets to be nervous about her Swan Lake auditions. So you can imagine her surprise when she gets a call saying she's going to be a swan maiden! Yay! Now she doesn't need these stupid notecards anymore cos it turns out she wasn't really interested in being a model/actress. She was just stressed about making it into the corps. So instead of just chilling the fuck out, Jessi would rather flush her life's work down the commode because of frazzled nerves.
Oh and bee tee dubs, when Jessi went to tell Derek goodbye, he admitted there was never a John. He just made it up. He was the one being a dick to people, knocking their books down and tying their laces together. He was being a "superbrat" to make friends.
Word of advice, Derek. People, in general, don't really wanna be friends with a-holes. So you might wanna work on that.
But alls well that ends well and Derek and Jessi have a great big donkey laugh at the fact that Derek wasn't being bullied--- he was the bully! Isn't that a hoot! (I wish my computer had a sarcasm font.)

Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Jessi, for describing the reason Becca might be yelling for everyone's attention so loudly and so persistently:

B. Enemy soldiers had trooped into our yard, aimed their guns through the front window, and opened fire.

The B. is there because this was multiple choice. A. was the house being on fire and C. was an alien invasion. The actual reason Becca was screaming and acting a fool was because P.S. 162 was about to start and that Lamont is so fucking hot!
My very first thought though was: Damn. How small-minded is Stoneybrook that Jessi immediately goes to snipers descending on their home when she hears her sister screaming.

P.S. Because of the title of this book, the entire time I was reading it I couldn't get the theme song to Josie and the Pussycats outta my head. But instead of Josie it was "Je-sssi and the Su-per brats!"

EvilEva reviews...... The Baby-Sitters Club #29: Mallory and the Mystery Diary by Ann M. Martin.
Circa: 1989.

Dissecting The Cover:
*Mallory is wearing an Aztec Bill Cosby sweater. And it's really ugly.
*Ooooh! Mallory has a boy in her room! But...... he's like 8 years old. So..... eww, Mallory.
*Of course there's a horse portrait above Mallory's bed. Which begs the question: Will Mallory ever get laid? That would've made an awesome tagline.

Lets Review:
Stacey's back, y'all! Hooray, huzzah and all that shizz! And she's moved into a super old house with her mom (cos her parent's are divorced now, natch.) But this isn't a Stacey story, this is a Mallory story.
Mallory takes over a casserole and ends up helping Stace and Claudia lug empty boxes to the attic. But there's a payoff to this good deed cos Mallory finds a dusty old trunk! Since Mallory so clearly wants to have this trunk's baby, Stacey tells her she can keep it. So Mallory enlists the help of her 82 brothers and sisters to haul the trunk to the Pike house. The trunk is really heavy so there might be something in it. But, shit!, the trunk is locked.
Mal doesn't wanna ruin the dusty old exterior but eventually she sees no other way of opening it except letting the Pike triplets go at it with a hammer. They finally get the thing open and discover a bunch of dusty old clothes and also a diary!
Mallory reads the diary cos she has no sense of personal boundaries and discovers that it belonged to a girl named Sophie who lived 100 years ago. And there's a mystery! Sophie's mother died and a painting of her went missing and Sophie's horrible grandfather said Sophie's dad was surely the culprit and got her dad blackballed around town. But according to Sophie's diary, her father didn't take the painting and Sophie was hellbent on proving his innocence. But the diary ends and Mallory doesn't know if the mystery was solved. So she decides that she'll solve it herself!
Meanwhile in Subplotville, Buddy Barrett can't read for shit and his mom is waaaay to busy to help him so Mallory offers her assistance. She brings him comics and Encyclopedia Browns. Then, because he liked the Encyclopedia mysteries so much, Mal lets him read Sophie's diary because in order to solve this mystery what we really need is an 8 year olds insight.
Mallory also shows Buddy the trunk and Buddy finds a hidden compartment with a confession letter from Sophie's grandfather stating that Sophie's father didn't steal the painting, her grandfather was so butthurt over Sophie's mother's death that he had someone paint ships over his own daughter's face. Cos that's how people grieve, y'all.
So Buddy and Mal go to Stacey's house to see if the painting might be in her attic and whattayaknow, it is!
So the lame mystery is solved and Buddy can read better now cos someone took the time to help him. Novel concept, I know. Also the fact that I just used the word novel while writing about a kid that has trouble reading is not lost on me.

Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Mary Anne and Dawn for being entirely too excited about perhaps the dumbest thing I've ever heard:

"An anniversary!" I exclaimed. "What kind of anniversary?"
"They're celebrating because this is the twenty-fifth date they've been on," replied Dawn.

I'm sorry, what?!?! What adult people A. count the number of dates they've been on together and 2. think to themselves "when we get to 25 we really should celebrate." However, I suppose that after 25 dates, Dawn's mother should just be thankful she's not locked in the basement with only a lotion basket to keep her company.

The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge: Round 7 Part 2 Reviews

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The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge: Round 7 Part 1 Reviews

We know Karen Brewer but we don't know her know her. So I've decided that this month I'm gonna read from the Baby-Sitters Little Sister series so that we may better acquaint ourselves with Kristy's bossy pants stepsister. And, TRUTH SERUM TIME: this series was like book crack to me when I was A Little. I remember LOVING these books and wanting to be total besties with Karen. After reread just four books I've decided that clearly I was insane as a child and should have probably been on some type of medication cos Karen is just awful and these books are terrible. But I can't help feeling a little nostalgic. My 8 year old self is totally cussing out my 28 year old self right now. Calm down, 8 year old me, and enjoy these full o' snark reviews of your greatest treasures.

EvilEva reviews...... Baby-Sitters Little Sister #9: Karen's Sleepover by Ann M. Martin.

Circa: 1990.

Dissecting The Cover:
Because you can judge a book by its cover!
*Karen has buck teeth, HUGE Sally Jesse Raphael glasses and a side ponytail. How does she even have enough friends to invite to a sleepover?!
*Who in the fuck is that cracked-out looking Pippy Longstockings?!? God, she looks super evil! I'd check inside her babydoll for homemade shivs if I were y'all.
*Goddamn at the scrunchies.
*The tagline reads:

Will Pamela ruin all the fun?

I'm guessing Pamela is the sad sack sitting in the chair with her man hands clasped in her lap. Maybe she's no fun because she's self conscious about her gigantic man hands, Karen! You're such a fucking bitch!
*Who decorates for a sleepover with balloons and streamers?

Lets Review:
Karen has a Great Idea! Of course she fucking does, she is Kristy's stepsister after all. There's got to be a trickle-down effect of good idea-having over at Watson's HUGE ass mansion.
Anyhoodles, Karen's Great Idea is to have her first ever sleepover! And she's gonna invite every girl in her class cos she doesn't know how sleepovers work. How are you gonna talk smack about that one b-hole in class that you and all your friends totally HATE if your stupid ass decided to invite her over?!? God Karen, for a person with glasses, you sure are stupid.
So everyone starts to get their invitations. Yes. This dumb bitch sent out invitations to a sleepover. To all the girls IN HER CLASS . Even though she could've like saved a tree or some shit and just told them at recess that they were invited. 
But Nancy, Karen's BFF, hasn't gotten her invite yet and apparently doesn't know how that whole "postal service thing" works cos she totes gets all butthurt cos she thinks that for some dumbass reason Karen didn't invite her even though Karen TOLD HER TO HER FACE that she was invited. So all week Nancy is totally harshing on Karen's sleepover buzz. And Karen is getting tired of her bullshizz. 
Then Nancy calls Karen and tells her Hooray her invitation has FiNALLY arrived! And Karen's all "you know what bitch? you've given me so much fucking grief about this, I now un-invite you!" So then Nancy's all "bitch I'm never talking to you again!"
Then a new girl named Pamela joins Karen's class. For all you BSC aficionados out there, Pamela is basically a mini Stacey. All the girls keep talking about her phat wardrobe! 
Anyhoo, Karen thinks "perfect! iIknow a way to get back at stupid Nancy! I'll invite this new chick to replace her! Nancy will be so faced! Bwahahaha!" And then she would of course wring her evil hands.
Finally the day comes! It's sleepover time! 
Karen decorates the playroom with crepe paper and balloons. Again, because Karen doesn't understand the art of the sleepover.
So the sleepover is in full swing and all the girls are having fun! Except Lil' Stacey. I mean, Pamela. She doesn't want to sleep on the floor or eat pizza and is just generally being a douchebaguette . Well Karen gets frustrated, thinking she may not be the hostess with the mostess. So she calls Nancy because apparently Nancy is not the type of girl that would put up with Stacey Lite, I mean, Pamela's shit. Karen apologizes and tells Nancy that she is re-invited to her sleepover so that she can help Karen deal with Stacey Jr, I mean Pamela's cranky pants.
So Nancy comes over and apologizes to Karen for being a total turd about the invite in the first place. They forgive each other and bond over their sudden mutual hatred for 7 year old Stacey, i mean, Pamela.
That Monday, at school, all the girls think that Karen's sleepover was the best ever! (Cos they've never been to another one before.) But even though Karen and Nancy (and the forgotten Musketeer, Hannie) have decided that they will hate non-diabetic Stacey, I mean Pamela, for all eternity, the other girls in the class are still betwixt by her cool clothes.
Karen and Nancy (and the forgotten Musketeer, Hannie) vow that they will now be known as The Three Musketeers and they'll be friends forevs and never let a stupid argument come between them again.
And I thought we were gonna Learn An Important Lesson about how Pamela was shy and self conscious because she was new to town and didn't know anyone so that's why she was acting so weird but I guess she was just a bitch that thought she was better then Karen cos she thought sleeping on the floor was stupid and Karen's blankie and stuffed cat were babyish.
So, fuck Pamela, I guess.

Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Karen of course. This is, no joke, page one, sixth sentence, second paragraph of the book:

Hi. My name is Karen Brewer. I'm seven years old, which is a very good age. I have a little brother named Andrew, an adopted sister, a stepsister, and three stepbrothers. I wear glasses and I have some freckles. Once I got a horrible haircut, but now my hair is grown out and back to normal. It is pretty long.

So. If you couldn't already tell, Karen is a bit of an over-sharer.
I don't need your life story, bitch, just tell me about this sleepover already.

Bonus Shizz:
This wouldn't be bonus shizz in anyone else's book, but in my borrowed copy someone has written their name in the front of the book. That person is: Sara Force!
Now, that exclamation point is not because I know this "Sara Force" and what a cowinky-dink that I've stumbled upon one of her old books.
No, that exclamation point is because Sara Force sounds like the COOLEST NAME EVER! She sounds like a ready-made superhero!
Patrolling the streets of Stoneybrook in shadow. Keeping children and baby-sitters safe. Ridding the town of evildoers. It's! Sara Force!
And then there'd be super patriotic music and a flag whipping in the wind and Sara Force would be front and center with her hands on her hips, clad in a black catsuit of some sort. And it would be AWESOME!!!

EvilEva reviews...... Baby-Sitters Little Sister #20: Karen's Carnival by Ann M. Martin.
Circa: 1991.

Dissecting The Cover:
*Karen is at the fortune teller booth, reading the palm of some kid. The look on her face seems to say "I don't know how to tell you this but... you only have 3 months to live, boo."
*Does Karen always wear a side ponytail/scrunchie combo? Is that a "Karen" thing? Let me guess, she thinks this makes her look "gigundo" cool?
*Karen's head looks SUPER misshapen in this pic. I guess the top part of her head appears so large because it's so full of Great Ideas.
*I want to go to the Cold Drinks booth. I wonder if they carry Skinnygirl Margaritas. I deserve a stiff one after reading about this chick.

Lets Review:
Karen and her fellow Musketeers, Hannie and Nancy, are SOOOOO BORED! There is NOTHING to do! Except roller skate. In theory. In reality, Hannie's skates are too small, Nancy doesn't even own a pair and Karen's skates are currently at the little house.
So they decide they'll go to the park instead. But only if they can walk there all by themselves. Well Karen's stepmother has seen one too many Datelines and tells them it's too far for them to go alone but she would be glad to drive them there.
This "free car ride" does not jive well with these brats, so they decline the offer because it is better to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING than to not get your way. So the girls have a spectacularly boring time. Until they decide that they can get cash so that they can buy some roller skates. But how could they get money? They're only 7! So they put on their thinking caps and that's when Karen comes up with yet another Great Idea. They'll have a carnival! They get really excited about this idea and about how soon enough they'll be roller skating it up!
Karen's real mom picks her and her dimwitted little brother up and tells them that there are plans to build a new playground in Stoneybrook within walking distance of Watson's house! How serendipitous since Karen had just been bitching about this in the previous chapter!
(P.S. Isn't Watson a fucking millionaire?! This mofo can't just purchase one of those elaborate swingset/slide/fort dealies they've got at Toys R Us?)
So Karen tells her besties that instead of using their carnival money for skates, they'll use it for the new playground!
Well Hannie has a shit fit cos homegirl seriously wants some roller skates.
But Karen, being the bossy bitch she is, tells Hannie "tough shit. the carnival money from the carnival we have not yet thrown will go to the playground fund, NOT for roller skates for your janky feet!"
This, of course, leads to a fight. I think it must be very hard being Karen's friend because at any given moment she will hate you.
So Karen now hates Hannie's roller skate-wanting ass. But not for long. The girls actually squash their beef within a few chapters. So they're all friends again now that they're doing exactly what Karen wants.
Now that we're all back on track (God, Hannie! Quit trying to have your own opinions!) it's time to buy things like prizes and lemonade mix for the carnival. But wait. That shit costs a fair amount of scratch which the girls don't have because they're only 7. (Even though Karen's dad is a millionaire.)
So they ask their parents to pony up. All the parents give $10. (Really Watson? $10? Way to dig deep, man.) Now they have $54! They buy everything they'll need and then it's...
Carnival Time!
The carnival is, of course, called Karen's Carnival cos she's a selfish bitch that shuns others ideas.
There are game booths and refreshments and a rummage sale and Nancy is selling friendship bracelets and Karen is the fortune teller.
They have a lot of customers. And even that creepy "witch" "Morbidda Destiny" from next door spends some cash.
Then the girls rudely end the carnival because it's 4 o' clock which is when the carnival was supposed to end and it's gonna whether you're done with your ringtoss or not because Karen's feet and back hurt goddamnit! So the carnival comes to a close.
Lets count our money! I bet we made a bajillion dollars!
Wait. What'd you say, Nancy? We made $32.40? But we put in $54! How can this even be?!?!
Karen goes to Kristy heartbroken because of her own dumbassedness. Kristy asks how much the prizes cost. They were 50 cent and a dollar a piece. And the girls only charged 25 cents at each booth. So Kristy's all "you should've charged more, dipshit."
But, of course, none of this really matters anyway because the citizens of Stoneybrook have already raised enough money for the playground.
So the playground is built, and now Karen and her friends are bored again, this time with all the playground equipment because they've already played on all of it and you know what would be A LOT of fun?! if we could go roller skating on the blacktop over there!
Oh brother, here we go again!

Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
It's a two-fer. This one takes place while Karen and Hannie are arguing about what to name the carnival. Karen, of course, thinks it should be named Karen's Carnival since it was her Great Idea. But Hannie thinks Karen's a beast that always has to get her way. So they solve this argument like reasonable second graders. That is to say, Hannie gives Karen her way. Check how Hannie folds like a cheap suit:

I did not say anything.
Finally Hannie sighed. "Okay," she said. "We'll call it Karen's Carnival."
"Thank you," I replied.
After that we made lots more signs announcing my carnival.

See what happened there, Hannie? You relented and all of a sudden it's "MY" carnival. You and Nancy need to nip this shizz in the bud before Karen's head gets any bigger. (See: cover of this book.)
So you need to stop with that and follow this line of action instead:

And guess what. Hannie hit me. She put her own arm out and she punched my hand. Hard.

Now that is a Hannie I can get behind!

So, have you had enough of Karen and her slaves, i mean, fellow Musketeers, yet? Well too bad cos we've still got two more of her books to suffer through. So bring it back here for even more gigundo fun! 

The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge: Round 5 Part 2 Reviews

Shit has been going down in Stoneybrook, y'all. Mysterious shit. And who better to solve a mystery than a group of baby-sitters who fancy themselves detectives. And us! Lets help the BSC get to the bottom of thangs!

EvilEva reviews...... The Baby-Sitters Club Mystery #19: Kristy and the Missing Fortune by Ann M. Martin.

Circa: 1995.

Dissecting The Cover:
Because you can judge a book by its cover!
*The faces say so much on the cover of this one. Lets break it down mug by mug:
-Claudia: "Um, y'all, don't hate me but I've been holding the map upsidedown this whole time. The only treasure here is my fringe-y jacket."
-Jessi: "You mean I dug this tiny hole for nothing?!?! Bitch, I'ma hit you in the face with this trowel."
-Kristy: "Don't worry, Jessi, for I of course have a great idea. I'll dig your puny hole deeper and then we can shove Claudia's soon to be lifeless body in it."
*P.S. Kristy, if you're trying to sneak around unseen in the middle of the night (or 10pm) you might wanna choose something a little less vibrant than that bright ass red turtleneck and hat that you're wearing.

Lets Review:
One wintry blahbiddy-blah day, Kristy finds a book in Watson's library about Ye Olde Stoneybrook and finds the name Christina Thomas in it. Which is totally cray cray cos it is so close to Kristy Thomas it is UNBELIEVABLE!
Turns out Christina Thomas disappeared like forever ago and took her inheritance with her. Where did she go? No one knows. That's why this is a MYSTERY!
So because this woman's name is so close to her own (and because her greedy ass is hoping to find the missing fortune) Kristy starts researching Christina's life. 
Soon Kristy finds out that Christina's home and the arboretum that Jessi is coincidentally trying to save are one and the same! So the girls recruit the rest of the BSC to help them dig up the flowerbeds so they can find the treasure and then use the money to save the arboretum. 
But all they find is a box full of not money. But Christina did leave behind the lease to the property containing the arboretum. She left the land to the town of Stoneybrook! So now the developers that were trying to buy the land to put up apartments can suck it! The arboretum is here to stay even though no one even knew it was here in the first place. So now we can go back to not enjoying these flowers all year long! And it's all thanks to Kristy and her nosy tendencies! 

Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Kristy, for this gem about how she will make her millions since they were unable to find the treasure:

"I guess I'll have to make my millions by baby-sitting instead!"

Yeah. From one baby-sitter to another--- good luck with that, sister.

The Fashion!:
Please enjoy this description of Claudia's stakeout outfit:

She was wearing black jeans, short black cowboy boots, and a black suede jacket with fringe along the back and arms and silver buttons that looked like those old Indian-head nickels.

Even while technically committing a crime Claudia Kishi does NOT do inconspicuous.
And I know that you're dying to know what Claud wore to the arboretum celebration:

Claudia was wearing a tuxedo, with a huge pink rose in her lapel.

I.... I don't even know what to say. Every time a Claudia ensemble is described it's like a gift from Baby Jesus himself. I just love it! 

Bonus Shizz!:
OMG! There is an ad for The Baby-Sitters Club Mystery Game! You have to use the special Mystery Case card to pick WHO did it, WHAT was involved, WHY it happened, and WHERE it happened. Then dial secret words on your Mystery Wheels to add to the story! Travel around the Stoneybrook map gameboard to uncover your friend's secret word clues! Finish four baby-sitting jobs and find out all the words to win. 
Idon't even remotely know what the fuck ANY of that means but.... I WANTS it!



EvilEva reviews...... The Baby-Sitters Club Super Mystery #2: Baby-Sitters Beware by Ann M. Martin. 
Circa: 1995.

Dissecting The Cover:
*This isn't any ordinary mystery--- It's a Super Mystery!
*There's a girl I'm guessing to be Kristy cos she's got a fucking turtleneck on, and a girl who I imagine is Stacey because of her wavy, voluminous, blonde hair, and they are scared, y'all. They're making gasp-y faces while clutching a little boy. It should be noted that the little boy is looking in the complete opposite direction as the girls. So this little idiot isn't even looking at what he's supposed to be scared of. 
*There's a creep wearing a black leather jacket, black knit hat and black leather gloves. So their stalker is OJ Simpson? Sorry. I always think of OJ when I see black leather gloves. Maybe he could get some kind of endorsement deal. You know, when he gets out of prison. And if there's a glove company that would want to hire a spokesperson/murderer. 
*The tagline reads: 

Someone's stalking the BSC!

God what a tedious job that must be. Hey look they're.... baby-sitting.... again.

Lets Review:
Oh my God, y'all, we get to go skiing at Shadow Lake! Doesn't that sound like a shit ton of fun?!?! But uh oh. All of a sudden totally not fun stuff starts happening to the BSC.
Like Stacey nearly gets her ass run over!
Kristy has a rock thrown through her window and someone spray paints a threatening message on her door!
Someone even sets Claudia's trash cans on fire!
However, while all this shizz is super scary, the girls refuse to let it ruin their trip to Shadow Lake.
That is until they start getting full-on stalked there to!
Stacey gets stuck on the chairlift!
Kristy's skis get broken and placed in a menacing fashion!
And Claudia nearly falls down a dangerous ski slope!
Meanwhile, back in Stoneybrook, Mary Anne and the less important members of the BSC, namely Mallory, Jessi, Logan and Shannon, are trying to figure out who in the world could be so pissed at the BSC that they would vaguely, semi, not really try to kill them.
All signs point to Karl Tate, a no good dognapper that the BSC helped send to prison.
But as it turns out it isn't Karl Tate. It's his son Woodie! He's beyond pissed off at the girls for sending his dad to prison and making their family *shudder* poor. Now he's gonna like kill or rape or just yell and wildly gesticulate at them. Oh noes! We need to tell the girls they're in an assload of trouble. But the phones are down! And there's a blizzard!
It's ok though cos eventually Nancy Drew enthusiast, Claudia, figures it out and Woodie falls in a frozen-over lake. The cops fish his ass out and take him to jail. 
Kristy, Claudia, Stacey and Abby return to Stoneybrook and the BSC, safe to meddle in other peoples lives once more. Yay! 

Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Claudia, for uttering these words about a man whose home was broken into but he denied it and didn't allow the cops to investigate his house:

"Maybe he has something inside the house he doesn't want the police to see," Claudia suggested. "Like... like stolen art."

While the art thief ratio is right up there with the divorced parents ratio in Stoneybrook, I'm fairly certain you are wrong on this one, Claud. He's probably just got a meth lab or something in there. Or maybe he's one of those people that grow marijuana in his closet. Either way, Nancy Drew would be ashamed of you for that suggestion.
And also to Mary Anne, for being a dumbass:

"Have you and, uh, James, been bothering me and my friends? I mean, two of my friends saw you, and we're all members of a club together, the Baby-Sitters Club, and some strange things have been happening to us, and I wondered..."

Mary Anne, you are so stupid. What kind of idiot would go up to someone as they're being cuffed and taken to a police car, and basically say "Uh, hey, my friends saw you commit that crime and scary shit has been happening to us ever since so I was wondering if you were the one trying to scare us and if you weren't well I've just given you all the information you'll need if you'd like to seek your revenge on us in the future."
Nancy Drew would spit in your face, Mary Anne.

Those Were The Days:
Here's a new category for the Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge. I found  something that I semi-squealed with delight over when I read it cos it took me back to my childhood:

That day we decided to make cookies. (But Shea, who is nine, and Jackie weren't calling them cookies. They were calling them Edible Slammers, after their Pogs and Slammers games---

OMG! I LOVED playing pogs! I probably had a hundred of them. Sparkly, holographic, glittery! They were very popular with me and my friends. I still have most of them in my Keorppi pencil box, including my Hypno Slammer which is An Official Bart Simpson Fun Toy and which won me many a pog battle!

Bonus Shizz!:
This book was written from the different POVs of all the baby-sitters. Thus I was finally introduced to Abby Stevenson. Up until now I hadn't come across her in my BSC dealings. What do I think of Abby? Well. I hate her. She's like the worst character in the BSC universe. I don't think I'll be checking out any Abby books from the library. In fact, I'd kinda rather jump into the frozen-over lake with criminal dipshit Woodie.

That's all the nostalgia I can cram into this month. Be sure to come back next month when I'll be getting my Christopher Pike on!