Saturday, October 23, 2010

Supernatural Shakedown: Season 6 Episode 5 OR Don't Date A Boy That Sparkles

It's Friday night. It's 9 o clock. So sit your Ass-butt down & lets watch some Supernatural!

Episode #5: Live Free or Twi-Hard 
Previously on Supernatural...
A day in the life of Bobby Singer & his many phones. Bobby got his soul back from Crowley, said "Balls" a lot, totally screwed romantical things up with a neighbor lady & had a heart to heart with the Winchester boys. Oh, & Jensen Ackles made his directorial debut! You go Jensen Ackles!

Par-tay!!! It's some kinda Goth party. i'm thinking we'll be dealing with vamps this ep.
Yep. Cute little teen girl. Broody teen guy. Talking about eternity & destiny & shit. It's Bella & Edward, y'all.
Ha! Their names are actually Kristen & Robert! HaHaHa! Supernatural you never cease to amaze me! 
Homeboy showing Bella his fangs. But, surprise surprise, she's fine with it. Stupid Kristen/Bella.
They've left the vamp club. Now Bella's getting attacked by a frizzy haired vamp dude. It was a setup! Poor naive stupid vamp lover.
Glass shattering. Supernatural logo. Showtime.
Dean is calling Lisa. You guys gonna meet up soon? Nope we got us a case. Sorry.
We've got missing girls. 
At Kristen, or lets face it, Bella's house looking for clues. Her dad doesn't really seem all that distraught. Whatever, lets look in Bella's room.
Wow, ooooook. She apparently really likes vampires.
"These aren't vampires. These are douchebags." HeeHee!
Checking out the covers of the Twilight-esque books that are everywhere in Bella's room. Dean quips "Watching her sleep. How is that not rapey?" Oh Dean. i love your quippyness!
Done at Bella's. 
Uh oh, the blood donation mobile just got robbed. Security dude got killed.
& now it's time for our first commercial break.

Ugh. Gramps is back. 
Now we're at The Black Rose. Having a couple of beers. Looking for pervy vamps. Just like old times. 
Found to "vamps" that fit the profile. Lets follow 'em.
"You go with Efron. i got Bieber." Oh Dean. How do you know these things!?
Sam's wandering through the basement-like area. Kills a vamp.
Dean following a faux vamp dude. Faux vamp dude is dressing/acting like a vamp to score chicks that have little to no self esteem. Dean tells him to Mmmbop his way outta here! HA! Dean you are soooo quippy in this episode!
Frizzy haired vamp again. Telling Dean he's pretty. Can't say the same about you, Frizzy haired vamp.
Oh hells no!!! Frizzy haired vamp is feeding Dean his vamp blood!
Oh hells no NO!!! Sam is just watching Frizzy haired vamp! Why are you standing idly by!?!? Why did you wait until the vamp put his blood in Dean's mouth to then yell "No!" What is going on with my Sammy?!?!? You best not be evil now! Is it Gramps? Is Gramps making you evil? Oh say it ain't so Sammy!!!
Damnit! Commercial.

Dean's vamping out. He's got the super sensitive hearing & the sensitivity to bright lights. 
Dean can hear your calm ass heartbeat. Why aren't you more freaked out, Sam?
Sam's just trying to stay calm. Yeah, trying to stay calm my ass! You watched him get poisoned Sam! What the fucking F is going on with you?!!?
Dean's gonna go wash his face & calm his ass down.
-gasp- Dean's got the baby vampire teeth!
Sam's gonna check up on him. 
Oh snap! Where has Dean gone? Besides out the window. 
Uh oh! Watch out Lisa! 
Ok, Dean doesn't want to hurt her. But he does wanna kinda drink her blood a little. Except not because that would be super wrong. "Oh God. i'm Pattinson." Dean has apparently been watching a lot of E! News lately what with his sudden pop culture quippyness.
Wait is Dean like "break" breaking up with her? 
Uh oh. Vamp teeth extendo! Dean don't bite Lisa. You'll def regret it later. & i'm sure you'll have a later i mean, be realistic boo, this is only the fifth episode. You've got 17 more eps to quip your way through. 
Ok, he didn't bite her but he's gotta get outta here pronto. 
Damn! Dean just pushed Ben's ass into a wall. i'm thinking your home life will be a little shaky when you finally do get back home, Dean-o. 
Gramps is at the hotel. Now Dean's back too. He actually wants Gramps to kill him.
Wait, what??? You can turn him back into a human? How you gonna do that Gramps? Except with your evil dark magic because i don't trust you & think that you're evil & hiding something & your voice kinda gets on my nerves.
So here's the rub. Dean can't drink any blood or he'll be a vamp 4evs. Plus he needs to get blood from the vamp that turned him. Yep. We're heading off to find Frizzy haired vamp.
Dean's gone to find the nest & thus FHV (Frizzy haired vamp. We'll now abbreviate his name because it's just easier.)
Gramps & Sam are now alone in the hotel room. Gramps says that Sam knew about the reversal. Sam's playing like Oh No He Didn't!
Gramps thinks Sam set Dean up to be able to get into the vamp nest to get at some Alpha vamp they've been after. Surely Sam wouldn't do that to his brother. But is this even Sam, y'all? i don't know. 
Now Dean's at the vamp nest. Stopped by Robert. Wow minus a vulnerable girl by his side, Robert is pretty douchetastic.
Robert's offering Dean some blood. Don't do it Dean! 
Ok, good. Dean lied & told Robert he just killed a whole bunch of peeps on his way over so he's pretty much set. Good job resisting peer pressure, Dean.
Ewww. Rob's drinking outta one of those blood bags. Is it kinda or really sick that i wonder what the blood tastes like? i mean, not real blood but the blood that actors like whoever the guy playing Robert is have to drink. i'm just curious is all.
So FHV is getting Kristen, who is apparently a vamp now, to write crappy vamp poetry to lure in other vamp lovin girls. What a tool. FVH, i mean. Not Kristen.
So real vamps are using Twi-hards to become like blood mules or something. Classy.
Dean's gonna try to kill FHV with a vial of dead mans blood. But damnit! he's dropped the vial.
Uh oh. there's some noise. Now all the vamps are dropping. Now Dean is dropping.
Dean's trippin or something. It's a weirdo montage of weirdness. Freaky shit. Creepy twins. Ok, when are twins not evil? Those Olsens? -shudder- P.S. Aren't these girls late for their shift at The Overlook Hotel? Shouldn't they be scaring the bejesus out of Danny right about now?
Dean's back. & so are the other vamps. So, of course, it's on now, futhermuckers! 
Huh. Turns out vampires are kinda pussy fighter. Dean is totally kicking their asses!
Robert's head got cut completely off. Also known as... AWESOME!
Commercial time.

Gramps & Sam make it to the nest. 
Dean's beating the fool out of all the vamps. He's got a big ass knife & he knows how to use it!
FHV is talking smack. i wouldn't do that if i were you, FHV. i mean, just look at the size of Dean's knife. That's gonna hurt like a bitch!
Gramps & Sam have finally found Dean.
Dean chops off FHV's head. Well now they've got his blood. Time to cure Dean-o!
Back at the hotel a' mixin the cure.
Dean takes the cure. & ewwww! Dean's puking up yuck. 
Now Dean is having flashbacks. We're leading up to something here. But what?
Ah, Sam's smirk when FHV is feeding Dean the blood. What is going on with Sam, DAMNIT!?!?
& now we're going to commercials. Blah!

Dean's not a vamp anymore. Hooray! What did he learn being in the nest? Well Alpha's building an army of vamps &, Rut-Row, they aren't scared of hunters anymore.
Dean tries to call Lisa. Doesn't get through though. He tells Sam that at least he'll always have his back, right? RiGHT? Ugh! What is up with Sam? EvilEva does not care for demonic Sam even though you think she would since she's "Evil" & all but oh no! She is not that kind of evil girl.

Next time on Supernatural...
What the fuck? Dean is pretty sure that Sam isn't Sam. Right, Bobby? Cass? EvilEva? Yes, i'm pretty sure we're all in agreement. 

Well that's all for this week. Please join me in praying for Sammy's soul then i'll see you back here next Friday night!

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