Wednesday, December 29, 2010

EvilEva reviews... The Lying Game

EvilEva reviews...... The Lying Game by Sara Shepard.  

Emma Paxton has been bounced around from various foster homes most of her life. That all changes one day when she finds out that she has a long-lost twin sister, Sutton. The girls plan on meeting up but Sutton doesn't show. Emma finds out that Sutton has been murdered. And everyone is a suspect. Emma must pretend to be the sister she never knew so she can get the dirt on the person that wanted Sutton dead. Or else she could be next.

Can I just say that I totally heart Sara Shepard? I gobbled up the Pretty Little Liars series with such fervor and now I can't wait to get my hands on the next book in this series. (Never Have I Ever out July 26th!)

This book is told from both Emma and Sutton's points of view. That can be a little confusing at times because there's no break between the two. But it's not so jarring that it turned me off of the book.

I thought the premise of the book was interesting, although if I had been murdered and my long-lost twin suddenly took my place I would kinda hope that someone would notice even a slight difference. I do get it though. I mean, even if you told the family, the boyfriend, the BFFs, it's just so outlandish why would they believe you? Especially if you were such a lying liarface like Sutton apparently was. 

But anyhoozle, the actual lying game is this insane game that Sutton and her friends play wherein they pull really harsh mean-spirited pranks on people. Finding out this info leads Emma to believe that The Lying Game could be the motive for Sutton's murder.
So it seems that this series, much like Pretty Little Liars, will be a twisty turny whodunit. Which I love. I love a good mystery & that is one thing that has been surprisingly lacking in YA recently. But I for one enjoy getting my Nancy Drew on! That being said, you know I gotta give my theory on this bitch! 

So, mild SPOILER ALERT!, except not really because this happens within the first few chapters:
I think Sutton's killer is..... Charlotte's dad, Mr. Chamberlain! Why? Well for one thing there's all that weirdness when he first sees Emma thinking that she's Sutton as if he can't believe she's alive since, you know, HE KILLED HER AND ALL!!! Plus there's the part where Charlotte says that her dad has been in Tokyo for the past month, even though Emma just saw him! So he's lying and sneaking around. Plus, the business with the alarm system being on when Emma is strangled. Mr Chamberlain would obviously know the code to the alarm because he lives there! He could easily turn it off and then reset it. PLUS, he was never really mentioned after those first two times. And it's always the one that the main character NEVER SUSPECTS! 
(Sorry about all the exclamation points. I got all sleuth-y excited there for a minute.)
As for a motive, well I think perhaps he and Sutton were partaking in a little Lily Kane/Aaron Echolls scenario. So that is my guess. After reading the first book anyway.
Who knows who I'll accuse after the second. (Again, Never Have I Ever. Out July 26th!) I hope not Ethan. I really liked him. I mean, HELLO!, I tagged this post with "Book Boyfriend" expressly for him. Although he'll have to quit with that smoking bullshit. 

The Scale of Judgment says...... 4.

Monday, December 27, 2010

What's Your Book Resolution?

So, it's almost January. 2011! Can you believe that shizz? It feels like just yesterday it was January 2010. But no. We've already gone through 12 whole months. We've gotten through countless holidays & other celebratory hoopla. & now we're back to square one. 
Good ol' January. The do-over month. The month we can take all of last years failures, condense them into one month of good intentions, invariably decide to scrap the whole "master plan" & instead go back to our lives of extreme leisure usually starting around February 2nd. 
Well not this year!
Ok. Maybe this year. But only with the BiG-every-year-unrealistic resolutions like losing weight, getting a better job & finding "the one."
Fuck those resolutions! 
What's your book resolution?
Maybe there's a particular book you've been meaning to get to? A series you thought sounded interesting? Perhaps a massive re-read you'd like to undertake? Maybe you'd like to substitute your usual YA for another genre for a while?
Well i've given some serious thought to my book resolutions. & i've come up with three to challenge myself with in 2011:

The Classics Challenge.
As a book whore i'm slightly embarrassed/ashamed of how few of "the classics" i've actually read. So this year i'm gonna challenge myself to read at least five books that are thought of as literary classics. It'll be a challenge because i find the classics to be SOOO BORING with their thees, & thous, & tis' & the fortnights! My God the fortnights! But i'm gonna give it a shot. & at five, i think i'll be able to manage. That really is the key when making resolutions, you see. Don't try to overextend yourself. Just do your best. & my best, this year at least, will be five for this particular challenge.

The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge.
Ah, the books of yesteryear! They're calling to me, bloggermuffins. & this year, i'm gonna answer! This challenge is all about reconnecting with the books of my youth. i'm gonna try to read four books a month from these blast-from-the-past-oldie-but-goodies:
The Baby Sitters Club.
Sweet Valley High.
The Baby Sitters Club: Little Sister.
Fear Street.
& any other wonderful nuggets i can find! i'm really excited about this challenge! It'll be fun to sit & reminisce about simpler times, back before i became Evil. *sigh*

The TBR Back Burner Challenge.
For those not in the know, TBR stands for To Be Read. & i have a pile that's so high it's threatening to topple over & kill me in my sleep. These are all books that i've really wanted to read & then some other book comes along that i really wanna read so the previously really-wanted-to-read book gets placed on the teetering TBR pile & doesn't get read & then doesn't get read again because now i really wanna read this other book! It's a vicious cycle, really. This year i'm hoping to break it though. So the challenge is to whittle down the TBR pile by reading two TBR books a month.

So. Those are my three book resolutions for 2011.
i will of course post all throughout the year on how i'm doing with them. 
What will your book resolutions be? Dish the shizz in the comments section. 

&, of course, have a Happy & Booky New Year!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Supernatural Drinking Game

The Supernatural Drinking Game!!!  

The rules are very simple. So simple, in fact, an actual drunkard wouldn't have any trouble following them. 

Take a shot whenever any of the following occurs........

*Dean yells "Sam!" in his special Dean-y way.
*Sam yells "Dean!" in his special Sam-y way.
*Bobby calls someone an idgit.
*Cass appears & disappears within a span of five minutes.
*A creature is mentioned by name (i.e. reaper, ghoul, vampire, vanir, etc.) 
*A past baddie comes back to play.
*Sam & Dean share a beer.
*Someone telephones Bobby.
*Oh look, it's a mysterious shadow!
*Dean makes a pop culture quip.
*Tree or bush camera angle.
*Here's the Impala!
*Vintage rock music plays.
*The boys check into an ugly motel. 
*An abandoned warehouse is entered.
*Taking a walk down Corridors of Doom!!!

So that's my list. Supernatural fans, if you think i've missed something please leave any suggestions in the comment section. & don't forget to play along when Supernatural returns January 28th! (Plus pick up this little nifty to get the fun started!)

P.S. Don't be a dumbass--- Drink responsibly & never EVER drink & drive! Otherwise the next ghost the Winchester boys exercise may very well be you.


Monday, December 20, 2010

EvilEva reviews... Zombies vs. Unicorns

EvilEva reviews...... Zombies vs. Unicorns by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier. 

Zombies vs. Unicorns is an anthology arguing the merits of zombies over unicorns and vice versa by some of today's hottest YA authors. 

Joining Justine Larbalestier on Team Zombie are:

*Libba Bray
*Cassandra Clare
*Alaya Dawn Johnson
*Maureen Johnson
*Carrie Ryan
*Scott Westerfeld

And siding with Holly Black for Team Unicorn are:

*Meg Cabot
*Kathleen Duey
*Margo Lanagan
*Garth Nix
*Naomi Novik
*Diana Peterfreund

The book jacket asks: Are you Team Zombie or Team Unicorn? And truthfully, after reading all 12 stories I'm no closer to answering that question than when I started the book. I will try to look at this logically though. So based on the following criteria, I will be able to give you my answer by the end of this review.

First: Who had the better stories? 
My favorite was "Love Will Tear Us Apart" by Alaya Dawn Johnson. A lovely story about a gay zombie obsessed with music, mac and cheese, and a certain lacrosse player.
I also liked Cassandra Clare's story "Cold Hands," "Bougainvillea" by Carrie Ryan, and Maureen Johnson's "The Children of the Revolution." 
And of course I liked Meg Cabot's contribution "Princess Prettypants," as well as Diana Peterfreund's "The Care and Feeding of Your Baby Killer Unicorn." 
So that's four zombie stories to a mere two unicorns. 
Advantage: Zombie.

Second, for all of you that are like me, complete cover sluts!, lets dissect the cover now, shall we?
I heart this cover! It's like Where's Waldo for the deeply disturbed! I think the unicorns come off a little bit better than the zombies here. The unicorns look like a united front, all working together to rid the world of the zombies. The zombies look less organized. There's one here. There's one there. On the front of the book, a zombie even seems to be attacking another zombie. It's sheer zombie madness out there!
So I'm gonna have to give this round to Team Unicorn.

Third, who would win in an arm wrestling match?
Well, unicorns don't have arms and zombies limbs fall off so willy-nilly. I don't think either would stand a chance winning at arm wrestling.
Therefore, point goes to no one.

Well dammit. After three rounds of thought provoking questions, it's tied 1 to 1.
You know what that means, right? 

The winner is.............. A Zombie Unicorn!

Now. About that cover.
See if you can find...

*A zombie skating on unicorn horns
*A discarded dagger
*2 purse-carrying zombies
*5 skeletons
*2 beheaded unicorns
*3 blue brains
*2 pink hats
*A turtle
*A pair of eyeglasses
*And 2 weird bird-headed people (Yeah. You read me right. Bird-headed people! Take a look if you don't believe me. Bird-Headed People! Hey, maybe that is the answer to this great debate. Zombies or Unicorns? Neither. Team Bird-Headed People!)

The Scale of Judgment says...... 3.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Supernatural Shakedown: Season 6 Episode 11 OR Death Takes A Holiday

It's Friday night. It's 9 o clock. So sit your Ass-butt down & lets watch some Supernatural! 

Episode #11: Appointment in Samarra (Yeah ep 11. That means we're now halfway through the season, fanboys & girls.) 
Previously on Supernatural...
Sam is soulless & discouraged as he may never be able to get his soul back. Gramps was Crowley's bitch because he wanted Crowley to bring Mary back from the dead. Cass found Crowley's bones & smoked his ass. So now we're no longer indebted to a demon but we still have no idea how to get Sam's soul back. 

Dean is exiting the Impala in........ Chinatown???
Ok now he's going into some Asian butcher shop. The butcher tells Dean to go to the back. 
Dean climbs the stairs & HOLY SHIT is that Freddy Krueger?!?!?!? OMG it is!!! Apparently he's some kind of doctor. It would be kinda cooler though if he were on here as Freddy. 
There is some chick with harsh bangs filling up needles with something. i guess she's Freddy's nurse? 
Ok so i guess Dean is getting something medical done. But what? & why from Freddy Krueger? 
Wow. Harsh Bangs is a real bitch. 
Freddy tells Dean that he's got 3 minutes & he injects something into the IV that Harsh Bangs hooked up to Dean. Wait, what's in the IV? What are you doing Dean?
& now Dean is dead. Dean is dead?!?!? 
His spirit or essence or whatnot goes back down to the butcher shop, recites some Latin & calls upon the reaper girl from many episodes back. (Remember she played Hailey's sister on One Tree Hill too.) 
Oh & Death has come with her. Ok, exactly what are you up to, Dean?
Glass shattering. Supernatural logo. Showtime!
Dean is asking Death for a favor. Well this should go swimmingly. He wants Death to get Sam's soul & Adam's body outta the box. 
Death tells him that he's gonna have to choose one. 
Dean picks Sam, obvs. Yeah, fuck Adam. We hardly knew ye. 
Death tells Dean that Sam's soul has been flayed. 
Freddy & Harsh Bangs are trying to resuscitate Dean.
Dean asks if Death can erase all the hellish memories that Sam will have if he frees his soul. But Death is all uh i haven't officially agreed to help you yet, bitch. 
He will help Dean though if Dean puts on his ring & agrees to become Death for a day. If he does so (& doesn't do the completely Dean-y thing & break the rules) then Death will get Sam's soul & put a wall around it to protect Sam from all the soul rape that it got down in the box with Michael & Lucifer. 
Death was about to tell him something else but Freddy brought him back to life at that moment. 
Now Dean is back at Bobby's telling Sam that Death can get him his soul back. But after listening to Crowley & Cass, Sam isn't so sure that he wants his fucked up soul back. 
Sam finally agrees to let Dean become Death. But he doesn't much like the idea. 
Dean tells Bobby to watch Sam. 
Sam asks Bobby if he's gonna lock him in the panic room again & Bobby asks Sam if he needs to. Come on y'all, hasn't Sammy suffered enough? 
Dean puts on Death's ring. 
There's Reaper Girl. She tells Dean the rules of the game. She apparently has no faith in Dean's deathin' skills. 
Now Sam's at a warehouse somewhere. Way to watch him, Bobby. He summons Balthazar. 
& now it's commercial time. 

Sam tells Balthazar that he needs his help. He wants some angel advice but he doesn't want to ask Cass. He asks Balthazar if there is a spell that can keep a soul out forever. Sam doesn't want his soul back. 
Balthazar tells Sam that he'll help him for free. Sam's all wha......? Balthazar delights in the fact that his helping Sam in this endeavor will undoubtedly piss Dean off, which he likes, plus he wants Sam to be indebted to him for perhaps all of eternity. 
Sam wants to know what he'll need for this spell.
Balty says that he needs a specific ingredient. Patricide. 
Sam tells Balty that his dad has been dead for years so uh that ingredient is kinda out. 
But Balty tells him that he just needs the blood of someone that has been father-like to him. Uh oh. i don't like the sound of that. Watch your back, Bobby!
Back to Deathly Dean. He & Reaper Girl are at a convenience store. It's being robbed by some douche. Dean wants to know who he's supposed to kill. There's the douche-robber, the convenience store worker & his young son. Douche is pointing a gun at convenience store worker & his son but then the clerk gets a gun out from behind the counter & shoots the douche-robber. So douche-robber is Dean's first "kill." But Dean isn't all that torn up about this dude dying because he was such a dick. So first kill goes easy-peasy.  
Now Dean & Reaper Girl are outside. There is a guy stuffing his face with pizza. Dean guesses that this dude is about to have a heart attack. & what do ya know, the dude does. Dude asks Dean what it all means. Dean tells him "Everything is dust in the wind." Dude responses, "a Kansas song?" Dude please forgive Dean. He's new. As well as a sucker for old time rock & roll. 
Now we're back to Sammy. He's back with Bobby. Bobby's like where were you. Well Bobby you should really know where he was as you were the one that was supposed to be watching him. Bad babysitter Bobby! Sam tells him that he went out to clear his head.
Back to Dean & Reaper Girl. Now they're in a hospital. This one is gonna be harder. Yep. Now Dean has to take a 12 year old girl. But Dean doesn't want to take her. 
The little girl & her dad go down the hall for a treatment.
Back to Sam & Bobby. Jeez, we're flip-flopping between the bros tonight. 
Anyhoodle, Bobby & Sam are sitting at the table playing cards. Sam looks at Bobby like he's a piece of useful meat. 
& now back to Dean & Reaper Girl. Dean refuses to take the little girl. 
The doctor tells the dad that it's a miracle, the little girl is fine & she doesn't need the surgery anymore. 
& back we go to Sam & Bobby. Sam attacks Bobby but Bobby so saw it coming & he knocks Sam upside the head. Sam goes down. 
Bobby says "i may have been born at night but it wasn't last night." Then he turns around. *gasp* Sam is gone, y'all. Uh oh for Bobby.
& now this commercial break.

Bobby is sneaking around his own house, carrying a gun & trying to find Sam.
Bobby goes into what looks like a pantry & locks himself in the room. 
Sam hacks at the door with an ax. He tells Bobby that he shouldn't have cornered himself in like that. 
Bobby says that he didn't, then pulls a lever & Sam falls through the floor. That Bobby Singer is a crafty one.
Bobby & Sam have a heart to heart about this soul business. Sam says that Dean doesn't care about him, he cares about his little brother Sammy who he'd give anything to get back. 
Bobby calls out to Sam. Sam doesn't answer. Bobby says "Balls!" He goes down to the basement to investigate. Oh there's blood on the panic room door. Sammy are you ok?
Dean & Reaper Girl are still at the hospital. Because Dean let the little girl live when she wasn't supposed to a nurse dies in her place & Dean has to take her instead. 
Reaper Girl tells the nurse that she should have lived for many decades & had children & grandchildren but because Dean screwed up she's now dead. That was a pretty bitch move, Reaper Girl. 
Now dead nurse's husband is at the hospital looking for his wife. He cries over her body. 
Dean & Reaper Girl are back at the 12 year old's room. Reaper Girl tells Dean to kill her. 
Dean sees dead nurse's husband out the window. He's stumbling to his car. He looks like he's drunk. But where do you get alcohol in a hospital? Hmm. 
Dean tells Reaper Girl to wait a minute. 
Back to Bobby & Sam. Bobby is outside looking in a barn. Sam comes up behind him & hits him over the head with a rod & drags Bobby's body away.
Dean is in the car with dead nurse's husband. He's trying to talk some sense into him. You know, like how he shouldn't be drinking & driving. But dead nurse's husband can't hear him. & holy balls there's another car coming right for us!!! 
Dean, much like Jesus, takes the wheel. 
Dead nurse's husband plows into a parked car. 
Death's ring is off Dean's finger. Not. Good.
Time for a damn commercial.

Dean gets out of the wrecked car. Dean is calling for Reaper Girl. He tells her that he lost. Sam is screwed. He wants her to zap his ass back him. 
Dead nurse's husband comes to. So apparently he's alive, for anyone that may have been interested in his well being. 
Dean puts the ring back on & is transported back to the hospital. 
Dean is gonna kill the little girl. He has to or else all these other people will have to die instead. 
The little girl flatlines. 
She asks if she's dead. Dean tells her yes. The little girl asks what about her dad. She says she can't leave him alone. Dean tells her it's just the natural order of things. The little girl says that natural order is stupid. Dean agrees. Reaper Girl takes the little girl away. 
Bobby is tied to a chair. Sam's got a knife. 
Bobby says he's been like a father to Sam. Uh yeah Bobby that's kinda the whole point. 
Sam rears back his hand to stab Bobby. But Dean catches it, stopping him. 
He says "Hey Sam. i'm back." Then he punches Sam in his beautiful face. 
Commercials again.

Sam is tied to the bed in the panic room. (i wish he was tied to the bed in my panic room. You know, if i had a panic room.) He's still knocked out. 
Dean & Bobby are discussing what to do with Sam. They can't keep tying him up everytime he tries to kill someone. 
Sam comes to. 
Sam & Dean have long meaningful eye contact. Dean shuts the little window on the panic room door & goes up the stairs. 
Death is sitting at a table eating something greasy. Well sure, i guess if there's no way for you to die then you can just bacon it up whenever you feel like it. 
Dean admits to Death that he sucked at being him. 
Death asks if he could go back would he have just killed the little girl in the first place.
Dean says that knowing now what happened when he didn't listen, yeah he would have just killed the little girl. 
Death says that he's surprised by that. But also pleased. 
Dean thinks that this little challenge was rigged from the start. 
Death tells him that people usually show him more respect than that. He says that he has to go to hell now & get Sam's soul.
Dean is all huh? but i lost. Death tells Dean that he learned a lesson. & that it's all about the souls & he'll understand when he's meant to.
Death leaves.
Dean hauls ass to the basement. 
Death is now in the panic room with Sam. He starts to put Sam's soul, now with protective new siding!, back into him. But Sam doesn't want it. He pleads with Dean to not let Death put his soul back in him. 
But Death puts his soul back anyway. He tells Sam not to scratch at the walls, he won't like what he finds behind them. 
Sam is screaming in pain. 
Dean looks like he doesn't know if he's actually made the right decision. 

Next time on Supernatural...
Promise rings! Virgins! January 28th?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

Monday, December 6, 2010

EvilEva reviews... I Am Not A Serial Killer

EvilEva reviews...... I Am Not A Serial Killer by Dan Wells.
John Wayne Cleaver is a teenage sociopath trying desperately to keep his dangerous thoughts in check. But when a serial killer comes to town, John's sickness comes bubbling to the surface. Can John use his killers instinct to determine the murderers next move and stop him from claiming another victim? Or will his own dark urges turn him into the monster behind the boy?

This book is the first of a trilogy but fear not, it doesn't end on a cliffhanger. In fact, after reading I Am Not A Serial Killer, I really have no idea what Mr. Monster (the sequel) could be about. We find out the serial killer's identity and the reasons he kills in this book. So I would guess that Mr. Monster will be more about John's psychotic tendencies. Which sounds interesting but lets review Serial Killer first, shall we?

I actually found John to be a fairly likable protagonist. You know, for a sociopath. That's probably because, like him, I find mortuaries and cemeteries and autopsies and dead bodies and the minds of serial killers fascinating. Not really sure what that says about me. But with all the CSI shows that are on the air, I feel quite certain that John and I aren't the only kooky ones out there. So that's good to know.
Anyhoo, John's mother and aunt prep bodies for funerals and I thought that Dan Wells did a good job describing the process as well as John's compulsion to be a part of it. I also liked that his descriptions of the mutilated bodies were gory but not blatantly and grotesquely so.
I will admit that when I started this book I thought it was gonna be your run of the mill thriller whodunit but actually about 100 pages in it turns supernatural. I wasn't expecting that at all. It makes me wonder though if the paranormal theme will be picked up in the next two books or if it was just a one time deal. If it's only a one time deal then I think that's kinda stupid. I think that would be kind of jarring to have these supernatural elements & then suddenly it's just back to high school as usual. Like I said though, I don't know what Mr. Monster is about so I'll try to stop letting it butt in on this review.

I did like this book. It was a pretty quick read, only 271 pages. I thought the pacing was good, fast but not rushed. I liked Dr. Neblin, John's therapist. I liked that he seemed genuinely interested in John and wasn't just some lame-o Dr. Phil know it all type. I liked Brooke too. I'd like to see what kind of relationship will develop between her and John. And I wanna see what's next for John himself.
I found this book to be a horrific thriller. In the best way possible, of course.

The Scale of Judgment says...... 3 and a half.                  

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Supernatural Shakedown: Season 6 Episode 10 OR Hell's Jail

It's Friday night. It's 9 o clock. So sit your Ass-butt down & lets watch some Supernatural!

Episode #10: Caged Heat 
Previously on Supernatural... 
So far we've dealt with djinn, skinwalkers, vampires & fairies. Now we're back to good ol' demons! Plus, Sam is still without a soul. Dean still doesn't completely trust Sam. & Crowley still has our balls in a vise. 

Crowley is chained to a chair. WTF??!?!? 
Now Crowley is being hit in the head with a bat by....... Crowley?!?!? WTFAgain!!!
So the first Crowley, the one tied to the chair, is an alpha shifter. 
Crowley is questioning the shifter about where purgatory is. Are we still on that, Crowley? What do you want with purgatory anyway? Hmmm.
Crowley The Actual stabs Crowley The Shifter with a knife & threatens the shifter by telling him that he's gonna kill all his little shifter babies. He's holding a baby monitor & you can hear babies crying on it. So i guess he's real serious. 
Crowley The Shifter says go ahead we'll just make more. Don't know how he plans on doing that. i mean, clearly Crowley The Actual is about to kill his ass. That kinda makes accomplishing things a little more difficult. The being dead & all.
Yep. Lookie there. Crowley The Actual sliced off Crowley The Shifter's head. That's gonna make for some hard baby-making. 
Glass shattering. Supernatural logo. Showtime! 
Sam & Dean are outside a prison somewhere. They're delivering a Rugaroo to some demon dudes.  Hey, what's a Rugaroo? Am i spelling it right? According to spellcheck, no i'm not. But the alternatives are Kangaroo, Runaround & Sugarcoat. Yeah, it was none of those things, spellcheck. Plus, how do you get sugarcoat from Rugaroo??!?!!?Whatevs, back to the review.
So the bros delivered the whatever to some demons, their work being done they have returned to their motel/cabin. Dean asks Sam "Do you even want your soul back?" Um duh Dean. We want no more of this RoboSam. We want sweet, kind, nerdy, research-loving Sam back. 
Dean turns to pour himself a drink. When he turns back around Sam has disappeared! *gasp* i think you hurt RoboSam's feelings. 
Dean grabs his gun. 
Sam is on the floor. 
& now Dean's lights are out.
Demon. Uh oh!
Now the bros are tied to chairs. & Meg's back. She wants to know where Crowley is. 
Meg is very flirty with Dean. 
Well except now. Now she's got a knife to Dean's throat. & Sam is......laughing? 
Sam says that Meg needs them to take her to Crowley to kill him. If she didn't then she would've killed them already. 
& Sam wants to work with Meg. Whaaaaaa??? 
He tells her that if she can help them get something back from Crowley (his soul. Shhh, don't tell Meg though) then they'll have no problem letting her kill his ass. 
Meg agrees & leaves. 
Dean's all "Why do you wanna work with demons again?" Sam's all "We're working with demons now."
Plus, he's got a plan. We're gonna outsmart 'em this time!
They're bringing insurance this time he says. Don't know what kind of insurance.
Oh. Cass. Sam is trying to contact him. But no Cass. 
Sam is baiting him with the plot to Raiders of the Lost Ark. Then he calls Cass dumb for falling for it. Sam is back to being all non-empathetic. But he wants Cass to help them. (Probably shouldn't call him dumb then. Just sayin.)
Cass & Sam are back at the motel/cabin. They're trying to find Crowley's whereabouts. 
Gramps busts in. 
Commercial time, y'all.

Sam & Dean want Gramps to tell them where Crowley is. 
Gramps says he can't. God Gramps you are sooooo useless!!!
Dean wants to know why their own (crappy) grandfather won't help them. What is Crowley hanging over Gramps?
Gramps slides over a pic of Mary Winchester. 
Crowley said he would bring her back to life.
Dean tells Gramps to stop trying. Whenever you try to bargain with demons it never really turns out how you want it to. Gramps needs to learn from the bros mistakes. 
Gramps is all fuck that. He still wants Mary back. 
He tells the boys to leave. Wait. Were they at the motel/cabin or did they break into Gramps compound & i just missed it? Because if they're at the motel/cabin then why is Gramps asking them to leave? Uh it's their room Gramps, you leave!
Well the boys leave. Now we're back at the motel/cabin. Guess they were at Gramps'. How did i miss that? 
Cass is watching porn. Hilariously. He doesn't understand why the pizza guy is spanking some girl. Dean tells him you don't watch porn in a room with other men & you certainly don't talk about it in a room with other men. 
Cass looks down.
Dean says "& now he's got a boner." 
HaHaHaHa!!! That shouldn't be that funny. But it is.
There is a knock at the door. It's Gramps. He asks why they're watching porn. Cass says he's not supposed to talk about it. HeeHee!
Gramps gives them a map with Crowley's location on it. Sam tells him to come with them. 
Gramps is all Hells No!
So Sam, Dean & Cass go to meet up with Meg & her demon posse.
Meg wants Crowley's location. They say no way sister. Sam wants her to give him the knife. He takes it from her & ganks one of her demons. He said that demon would have killed them so ganked he must be. Meg is pretty indifferent about being one demon down. She tells him to give her the knife back. Sam tells her no the knife belongs to them & so he's taking it back. He starts walking away.
Back at the motel/cabin.
Cass is talking to Dean about Sam's soul. He doesn't know if Sam should get his soul back. It's been in the hole with Michael & Lucifer for a year. He could be pretty fucked up if he gets it back. 
Dean's all nope. We're getting his soul back.
Sam has been listening to the conversation. Uh oh.
Now we're at a prison. This seems a little too easy. 
Ok, we're now walking the prison halls. Dead peeps are behind some of the bars. & some of them are alive. Some chick is pleading with Dean to get her out but Sam tells him to come on they have to go. So Dean leaves the girl/demon(?) 
Uh oh the guards are coming. & they're hellhounds, y'all. 
Dean doesn't like the sound of that. 
Another commercial break.

The gangs a' running. 
The hounds got Meg's demon posse. But who cares. Clearly not Meg.
We're behind a closed door now but the hounds are gonna tear it down soon. 
Meg is gonna shed her meatsuit & get the fuck outta there all blacksmoke-like. 
She tries but can't. Crowley has put some kind of spell on the prison. Demons ain't getting out. 
Meg tells the boys to go & she'll take care of the hounds. Ok, well have fun with that.
OMG! She kisses Cass. 
Then she's all what was that. & Cass says "i learned that from the pizza boy." Oh Cass.
So the guys leave & Meg stays. 
Cass disappears. 
Sam & Dean see Gramps. He sold them out. Stupid Gramps!
They're put in different cells. 
Back to Meg. She has killed all the hellhounds & starts to walk down the hall to rejoin the bros. But a demon knocks her out. 
Back to the boys. Gramps is at Dean's cell. Dean can't believe that Gramps choose a demon over his own blood. Gramps tells Dean that Mary is his blood. Dean says you sold out your grandsons to a demon. Gramps says he doesn't even know what Sam is anymore (Boo! Stupid Gramps!) & that Dean is practically a stranger to him (Boo! Stupid Gramps yet again!) Dean says that Mary wouldn't have approved of Gramps' decision. Yeah! Suck on that, Gramps!
A demon comes to get Dean & take him off somewhere. Presumably to Crowley. 
Ok now we're back to Meg. The demon has her tied down naked to a table. He's gonna cut her until he gets answers. 
Sam is in his cell. He bites his arm & starts drinking his own blood. 
Now back to Dean. He's in a new cell. A bloody one. Two dudes are brought in. Dude 1 says "Look. Breakfast." Dean gets a not-happy look on his face. 
& we're going to another commercial.

Demons have come for Sam. They say he's about to join Dean. But Sam used his blood to make a demon snare on the ceiling. (How did he reach it? Is J. Pad that tall?)
Anyhoo, so now those demons are stuck & Sam is free to roam the premises. 
Dean is getting his ass kicked by ghouls. Sam busts in to help. 
Back to Meg again. She is getting all cut up. Now she's laughing. The demon is all what are you laughing at. Dean shivs him through the back. & Meg says "Because Dean Winchester is behind you." 
Sam says lets go. But Dean unties Meg instead of just leaving her there all helpless for Crowley to find. Dean is getting soft. While Sam remains hard & unmoving. We've gotta get his soul back STAT, guys. EvilEva no like-y this non-feeling Sam.
Crowley is with the girl that the bros saw when they first infiltrated the prison. He's asking about her daddy. Wait, who is her daddy? Alarm goes off. i guess we'll never know. Or at least not until the next ep maybe.
Crowley goes to check why the alarm has sounded. He sees that his demons are down. Then he sees Dean. Sam knocks Crowley up side his evil head. They've got him in the snare now. Meg begins torturing him. She tells him that Sam has something he wants to ask. Sam tells Crowley he wants his soul back. 
Crowley says he can't get it for him. 
Sam looks very defeated & is all well fuck it he can't get my soul back.
So he gives the knife to Meg. Meg goes into the snare but Crowley knocks her on her ass & takes the knife. He chucks it through the blood snare & walks out, tossing the bros against the wall. 
Yay! Now Cass is here! & he's got Crowley's bones. He asks Crowley if there is any way that he can get Sam's soul back. Crowley says no, he can't. So Cass torches the bones & Crowley goes up in smoke. 
Dammit! Commercial!

Sam goes to Crowley's ashes & picks up the knife. 
Meg hits the skids now that the spell is broken. Too bad. i kinda liked Meg's mojo with the bros in this episode. Maybe she'll return & be awesome again. 
Dean says he was gonna kill her but first he would've let Cass have her for an hour. Cass is all "why would i want that?"
The boys are outside the prison now. Cass is sorry because he thinks that Crowley might be right, that they can't get Sam's soul back. Cass vamooses.
Now Sam & Dean are arguing. Sam says that when angels & demons actually agree on something that it's probably time to pack it in. He doesn't even know if he wants his soul back. 
Dean says "you don't mean that." Sam says "No, it's just something that you don't wanna hear." Sam starts to walk off. Dean yells for Sam to come back. Yeah come back Sam. We can't not try to get your soul back. We want Good Ol' Sammy back! 

Next time on Supernatural...
Dean's dead? Or a reaper? Sam's going after Bobby with an ax? What the what?
P.S. Supernatural Drinking Game coming soon!