Thursday, September 29, 2011

Supernatural Shakedown: Season 7 Episode 1 OR The Boys Are Back In Town!

It's Friday night. It's 9 o clock. So sit your Ass-butt down and lets watch some Supernatural!

Episode #1: Meet The New Boss.
Previously on Supernatural...
i already went over this EXTENSIVELY. Catch up, slackers!

We pick up right where season 6 left off, in the lab with Sam, Dean, Bobby and Cass. Cass tells the guys to bow down and profess their love so Bobby, not wanting to go kablooey, takes a knee (and makes a funny!) Dean and Sam go to bow too but Cass tells them not to bother if they don't really mean it.
Cass tells them to get up and that the Cass they knew is gone. Dean asks this new and crazycaked Cass if he plans on killing them. Cass figures since they now know what he's capable of they wouldn't dare be stupid enough to come after him. So for now he sees no reason to kill them. Cass is God now and if they're good they can live in his kingdom but if they rise up against him he'll strike them down. So in other words, Cass don't play, y'all.
Sam isn't looking to good. i mean, of course Sam looks good because he is a fine ass piece of manliness but he doesn't look good in the sense that he might collapse or something in about half a second. Cass calls him on it but Sam assures Cass that he's fine. Dean is pissed cos Cass promised that he would fix Sam's downed head-dam. But Cass tells them that he only promised to do so if they stood down which they didn't and they should be thankful that he didn't toss Sam back into the pit with Lucifer and Michael. Dean tries to talk some sense into Cass but Cass ain't having it. He tells them that he hopes for their sake this is the last time that they'll see him.
Sam's nose starts bleeding. Hell blink! Sam falls and his hand lands in broken glass. Another hell blink!
Cut to Cass. He's lecturing someone on how if they followed Raphael they'll for realsies be punished. He tells whoever that the Father left a long time ago and that Cass thought at first the answer was freewill but that didn't really work out so now he's thinking a firm hand is the way to go. Cass says "i am your Father now." And he wants whoever to be obedient or they'll end up like, Holy Shizz, this field full of angel carcasses!!!
New title card! Black goop. Supernatural logo. Showtime!

Dean is fixing the Impala after it's like one millionth accident. Enter Bobby with a beer. Dean asks Bobby about Sam. Bobby tells him that he's still asleep but alive. Bobby also informs us that he's got some hunter peeps on the lookout for Cass. The downside to this whole "Cass being God thing" is that they don't even know where to start their search. They're both pretty grumpy about it too. Dean thinks that since there's nothing they can do about Cass right now then he's just gonna spend his time working on the Impala and Sam.
Dean goes inside to get another beer. Sam's awake! He tells Dean that all things considered he feels him, his head just hurts a little. Sam wants the scoop on what happened with Cass. Dean tells Sam to come help with the Impala and he'll fill him in. Dean exits.
Sam has A Feeling. What kind of feeling? We don't know but my guess would be probably not a good one.
Some church! There's some preacher seemingly talking smack about the gays. So clearly not a fan of Glee. Ignorant Preacher Man says someone has to speak for God. Enter Cass aka God. Cass doesn't really care about sexual orientation but hypocrites, like Ignorant Preacher Man, he so does not enjoy.
Cass informs Ignorant Preacher Man that he is God. (Ok we get it. Stop with the beating of the dead horse already!) Ignorant Preacher, i'm fairly sure, shits his pants.
Some dude stands up to stop this but Cass totally shuts his ass down. Ignorant Preacher Man starts foaming at the mouth and he falls to the ground. Cass starts to leave but hears someone whisper "Castiel." Cass holds onto a pew and continues to hear the strange whispers. He looks over at a stained-glass window of Jesus. He moves his hand and has seared the wood of the pew. Cass starts to leave again and now the stained-glass Jesus has been replaced with a stained-glass Cass.
Bobby's basement! Sam is looking for something. He hears some noise. Sam finds the tool he was looking for and when he turns back around the basement is all red lit and there are meat hooks hanging from the ceiling. Sam is understandably freaked. Bobby comes down the stairs and calls to Sam. When Sam hears Bobby, suddenly the basement has returned to its normal state. Bobby looks concerned by the freaked out look on Sam's face. He tells Sam they might have a lead on Cass.
Upstairs! There's now breaking news on the telly. There have been a suspicious number of sudden deaths of religious leaders. This has got to be the work of Cass.
Dean fixes the Impala while listening to more Cass related weirdness on the radio. Sam and Dean talk about how far off the deep end Cass is. Sam suggests that they try talking to him. Dean thinks that idea is stupid cos Cass isn't just some guy anymore, he's God. Dean feels betrayed and no longer wants to talk about Cass.
An RV at a campground! It's Crowley. Enter Cass whom Crowley is not exactly jazzed about seeing.
Stop! Commercial time!

Cass tells Crowley that he has plans for him. Crowley will be returning to his post as King of Hell but Cass will now be controlling where all the souls go. Cass tells Crowley that he would've done away with hell completely but he needs a threat to hold over his enemies.
Crowley is as delightful as ever and accepts Cass' offer since he can't really refuse it. Cass notices that he's got some weird burn-looking scars on his hand. Can't worry about that now though. Cass out.
Bobby's! Sam's sexily doing research when he hears that noise again. Suddenly a chain whips down from the ceiling, wraps around Sam's neck and pulls him upward. There's also menacing laughter.
Sam wakes up. It was only a dream. Sam calls out to Dean and Bobby but they're outside. The Impala's looking pretty fucking sweet now. Bobby and Dean have gone back to they're fave season 6 pastime, discussing Sam's mental health. Bobby doesn't know how Sam is even vertical after having Cass crack open his noggin. Dean doesn't know either but he hopes that Sam really is ok.
Sam listens from outside the garage. Dean doesn't actually think Sam's alright cos they can never seem to catch a break. Sam enters the garage. He tells Dean and Bobby about more Cass related killings. He wonders if any of the Heavenly weapons Balthy *sob* filched last season would work on Cass.
Dean doesn't think anything could hurt Cass but maybe someone could. Oooh. What you talkin' bout Willis.
The boys summon Crowley. He's pissed. He tells them that Cass is his new boss now. He also calls Sam a giraffe. But Crowley's semi hoping to conspire with the boys. Cos he's still Crowley after all. The bros want a spell to bind Death. Crowley's all Whhhhhhaaaaa?!?! He says that Cass and Death are too powerful to be fucked with. Bobby asks him if he seriously wants Cass ruling the universe. Crowley thinks about this and pours himself a little drinky-poo.
Cut to a blind man begging on the street. The blind man's voice kinda sounds like Pedro's from Napoleon Dynamite. Cass gives him some change and then heals his blindness. The man asks Cass what's wrong with his face. Which is a fine how do you do since Cass just repaired your fucking eyesight, mister!
Cass is now elsewhere looking in a mirror. His face is covered in red blisters. More whispers. They say "let us out." Cass lifts up his shirt and hands are pushing out through his flesh. Which is seriously nasty but also really cool looking.
Commercial time yet again.

Bobby's house! Someone slipped something under the door. It's the spell to bind Death. The guys have most of what the spell calls for but they're gonna need an Act of God aka a crystal made from lightning hitting sand a la Sweet Home Alabama. Bobby looks up crystal auctions because Anything Is Possible with the power of the internet! And as luck would have it a crystal winning bidder lives a mere 9 hours away.
Lets go rob them!
Winning Bidder's McMansion! Sam and Bobby look for a way to break in. A security guard spots them and it seems like we might have trouble but Dean comes to the rescue, knocking the guard out with the butt of his gun and a Grey Poupon joke. They break in and look around. Dean finds the crystal. Winning Bidder and his wife find Dean. And Winning Bidder has his own gun. Rut Row.
Somehow Dean manages to disarm Winning Bidder. Dean ties up Winning Bidder and his wife. Enter Sam and Bobby.
Bobby brought the goods so we're just gonna do the Death spell in Winning Bidder's casa. Bobby starts with the Latin. Things start a-shakin' and a-breakin'.
Heeeeeere's Death. The spell worked cos Death is now bound and not too pleased about it. Dean tries to win Death over with fried pickle chips. Death assumes that this tomfoolery has something to do with Sam's hallucinations. He tells Sam that he can't help him again. There's only one wall per customer. Bobby and Dean look all "hallucinations?!?!"
Dean tells Death they actually would really like for him to kill Cass. Death asks why should he. Dean tells him cos they said so and they own his ass at this point in time.
Enter Cass and his blistery face.
Cass goes to get rid of the boys but Dean informs him that Death is kinda their bitch right now so not even God could kill them.
Death tells Cass that his vessel is melting and he's going to explode if he doesn't spew out purgatory soon. But Cass thinks not. Cass says he'll just repair himself. Death informs Cass that there are much older and worse things in purgatory and he just gulped them up along with the souls. They are the leviathan, beasts created by God. That's why purgatory exists, to keep these nasties locked up. And Cass has foolishly swallowed them.
Cass and Death have a pissing contest. Dean orders Death to go ahead and kill Cass. Death lifts his hand. Cass snaps his fingers and unbinds Death. Rut Row yet again. Death makes a funny and Cass leaves. Death eats his fried pickle chips.
Some senator's campaign office! Cass enters. He wants to punish the senator for abusing her power. Cass proceeds to lose his shit.
Bobby's! Death tells Dean that he warned him about the souls forever ago and Dean really should have tried harder to reign Cass in. Death starts to leave but Sam calls him back. Death is so hilarious tonight! He finds Cass arrogant and tells the boys that Cass needs to puke up purgatory. They have everything they need at Cass' lab. They just need to get Cass' ass there and willing to commit to purgatory bulimia.
Bobby reminds Death that the door to purgatory only opens during an eclipse which just happened. Death will make another eclipse. All they have to do is bring Cass to the lab at 3:59 Sunday morning. Death threatens Dean about having any future plans to bind him. Death leaves.
Senator's campaign office! Cass wakes up all bloody. All of the office aides are dead. Cass seems to see the error of his ways but then he gets kinda freaky-faced.
Bobby's! Sam's ready to go but Dean is drinking and thinks there's no use in trying cos they can't make Cass do anything. Dean then gets on to Sam about his hallucinations. Sam didn't see any reason to tell Dean about them because he has control over them and there's nothing they can do about them anyway.
Dean comes across a news report of Cass' campaign office massacre on the internet. Looking at the footage Dean really thinks there's no point in helping Cass now. 
Sam goes out to Bobby's Used Car Cemetery to try to appeal to Cass. He comes back in to find Dean watching Asian cartoon porn. Cass enters bloody as a motherfuck. He tells them he needs help. Uh. Duh. 
Pee break!

Lab! Cass tells Sam to get a jar of blood from the supply closet in the hall. Sam hauls ass to get it. Ah, our old friends the Corridors of Doom!
Back to Cass, Dean and Bobby. Cass tells Dean that he regrets what he did to them. Dean tells Cass that he should. Cass wants to make amends before he bites the big one. 
Corridors of Doom! Sam finds the jar, turns around to go back to the lab and Holy Balls! comes face to face with Lucifer! Sam thinks this is just another one of his hallucinations. But Lucifer tells Sam that he's not hallucinating. He tells Sam that it was impossible to escape the cage and he thinks this is his best torture yet, making Sam think that he's free and then yanking him back. Lucifer tells Sam that he never left, he's still in the cage and everything else is actually the hallucination. 
Back to Cass, Dean and Bobby. Dean goes to find Sam. Instead he finds the jar of blood in the hall. Dean goes back to the lab. They create the door with the blood and Bobby starts reading the spell. Cass falls. Dean picks him up. The door starts glowing. Cass apologizes to Dean. The door starts breaking. Light flows out of Cass' chest. Cass falls to the floor. 
More commercials.

Bobby feels Cass and says he's cold and he's not breathing. He tells Dean that Cass is gone. 
But Cass suddenly wakes up. His blistery marks heal. Bobby and Dean help him up. Cass says he's ashamed of his power trippin'. He promises Dean he'll redeem himself. 
Suddenly Cass pushes Dean and Bobby away from him and tells them to run, he can't hold them back. Dean asks "hold who back?"
Cass says they held on inside him. The leviathan. Cass gets all spazzy and jerky. Dean tells Bobby to go find Sam. Bobby goes to leave but Cass tells them it's too late.
The leviathan as Cass inform Dean that the Cass he knew is dead now. Then LeviaCass throws Dean and Bobby across the room. 
LeviaCass says this is gonna be so much fun and a black veiny thing forms up his neck.

Next time on Supernatural...
Shit gets all mind trippy when Lucifer shows Sam that last year may have all just been in his noggin. Also known as--- confusing as fuck.

So first episode back, what did y'all think? Feel free to fangirl it up in the comments section.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

The TBR Back Burner Challenge: Round 9 Reviews

Since it's September and thus the start of a new school year I thought I'd kick it off with a series about a boarding school! Truth be told, I loves me a good boarding school story. I would probably feel a lot differently if I actually had to attend a boarding school but alas I was "poor" growing up and so I was shipped off to public school which isn't nearly as glamorous as I imagine boarding school to be. But we did have awesome foot-long hot dogs every few weeks! Do boarding schools have foot-long hot dogs? I like to think they don't. So yay public school for your long ass hot dogs! Anyway, here are my reviews for Cara Lockwood's Bard Academy series.   

EvilEva reviews...... Wuthering High by Cara Lockwood.

After crashing her dad's car and stealing her stepmom's credit cards, Miranda Tate is shipped off to Bard Academy, a boarding school for unruly teenagers.
Miranda so does not belong with these freaks, goths and other assorted delinquents. But she tries to make the best of it, you know, since she has no other choice.
But there's something very off about Bard.
There's a strange boy named Heathcliff who thinks he hails from Wuthering Heights and is semi-stalking Miranda, an occult-crazed roommate who swears a vampire is on the loose, a ghost story about a girl that disappeared in the woods that might actually be true, a group of very suspicious teachers, a crazy woman that starts fires, AND Miranda's crush from her old high school!
So yeah, something is definitely off. And even stranger, Miranda seems to be at the center of the off-ness which could put her in grave danger. But what's the connection between Miranda and this bizarre boarding school? And can she figure it out before it's too late?

This book is extremely crazyballs. There's just so much going on.
There's, of course, Miranda and her trials and tribulations, trying to survive in this new place in which she feels doesn't belong.
Add to that a nutty roommate, an oddball creepster, weird teachers, an arsonist, a ghost, a hot crush, daddy issues and dish duty and you get a whole lotta subplots. Maybe too many, especially considering there are two other Bard Academy books. 
As a main character, Miranda is semi-spoiled but she's not so bratty that it makes her unreadable or unlikable. She's got a snappy Juno-esque quality about her. And she has a few witty one-liners that made me laugh.
She also unconsciously forms her own Scooby gang courtesy of friends Hana, Samir and Blade. I liked their crew and wouldn't mind getting mixed up in a caper with them. Miranda's also lucky-ducky enough to have two guys vying for her attention. There's Ryan Kent, her crush from her previous high school who's got a secret of his own (mysteriously dead girlfriend, anyone?) And then there's Heathcliff, the strong silent type that always seems to be saving Miranda in one way or another. Oh and he might also be a fictional character come to life.
Bwhaaaaaaa?!?! Yeah, the premise of this book is kinda cray cray. And it's not what we're used to from Cara Lockwood but it's not complete suckage. It's a fun, light read that might just spur you to get interested in the classics.
My only complaint would be the last few chapters. It was like there were so many storylines and the author was trying to wrap all of them up at once. It felt kinda rushed to me. But, other than that, a fun, light read.
Now on to the next!

The Scale of Judgment says...... 3.

This is the second book in the series so this review may contain a few spoilers.

EvilEva reviews...... The Scarlet Letterman by Cara Lockwood.

Miranda & Co. are back for a second semester at Bard Academy, a boarding school for delinquents run by the ghosts of famous authors.
But if Miranda thought it was just gonna be sexytimes with her new boyfriend, the Ryan Kent, and fun with her besties, well, she's got another think coming.
Two teachers have mysteriously disappeared and Miranda's the main suspect! Now she's being shunned by the whole school and even worse, forced to wear a hideous red sweater vest of shame!
Can she prove her innocence, unmask the Hooded Sweatshirt Stalker, fight off A TIGER, find out if Heathcliff is still hanging around and keep Parker Rodham from stealing her boyfriend?
It's just another normal day at Bard Academy.

Mysteries abound yet again at Bard and Miranda and her friends seem to be the only ones who can solve them.
Coach H and Ms. W have vanished (Wait. Didn't they "vanish" in the last book too? Yes. Apparently out of the entire staff of Bard Academy, Coach H and Ms. W are the only ones that are kidnap-worthy.) Miranda becomes the prime suspect for, if you ask me, very stupid reasons.
Anyhoosies, much like the books semi-namesake, Miranda gets Hester Prynned. She has to wear a fugly red vest, she can't talk to anyone and no one is supposed to talk to her. But this shows the awesomeness that is Blade and Hana because they find a clever way to communicate with Miranda that is so very Nancy Drew. Their characters got more face time in this book and I'm glad because I needed them to balance out Miranda's wishy-washiness in the great debate of Ryan vs. Heathcliff. I mean, one is a basketball star and the other is a FICTIONAL CHARACTER, for Vaughn's sake! The answer should be fairly clear. Not that I myself don't loves me some fictional boys but I wouldn't pick them over a living, breathing, very much into me hot tottie. I may be nerdy but I ain't that nerdy. So Miranda kinda got on my nerves with that bullshizz.
The Scarlet Letterman is packed with just as much crazy business as Wuthering High. Again, maybe a little too much crazy.
There's the missing teachers, a campus shover, The Scarlet Vest Of Shame, boyfriend troubles, a shunning, Heathcliff, magical drawings and a motherfucking tiger!
So a lot going on.
These books aren't bad, they're just not up to snuff. And I'm a big fan of Cara Lockwood so I know her snuff is better than this.

The Scale of Judgment says...... 3.

Since the TBR Challenge is two books per month, I'll be reviewing the third and final book in the Bard series separately. So check back for my review of Moby Clique: coming soon.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Supernatural Shakedown: Season 6 Refresher OR Previously on Supernatural...

It's almost here, y'all! Season 7 starts September 23rd so i thought it would be a great time for a little refresher course on season 6. What went down? Who got ganked? Who survived?
Here is all the important Need To Know shizz in one handy little post:

Episode 1
Dean tries to live a normal non-hunter's life with Lisa and Ben after that whole averting-the-apocalypse-by-Sam-jumping-into-the-box-with-Lucifer-and-Michael thing.
But Sam is alive and out of the box. 
Gramps has somehow been resurrected too.
The annoying Campbell cousins are introduced.
Sam wants Dean to return to the family business but Dean doesn't want to abandon Lisa and Ben.

Episode 2
Sam calls Dean hoping he'll change his mind and help with a shifter job. Dean feels like Ben's father and won't just leave him. He feels responsible for his new little family's safety. 
We get to know the Campbell cousins a bit better but we still hate them.
Dean starts to wonder about Sam. 
Lisa tells Dean to go hunt monsters with Sam and come back to her when he can. So with Lisa's somewhat blessing, the band has finally been put back together! 

Episode 3
Sam Charlie Sheens it up with some hooker and we start to see the cracks in Sam's Sammy-like armor.
Cass is back.
Some "heavenly weapons" were looted after the nonapocalypse.
Balthazar traded the staff of Moses to some kid in exchange for the kid's soul.
Dean doesn't know if he can trust Sam anymore.

Episode 4
Bobby wants to get his soul back from Crowley.
Crowley is now the kind of hell.
Rufus and Bobby are the Sam and Dean of the older hunters set.
Bobby finds out that Crowley had a son. He summons Crowley's son and finds out where Crowley's bones are buried.
The Winchesters go to Scotland to dig up Crowley's bones.
Crowley gives Bobby his soul back and the bros give Crowley his sack o' bones back.

Episode 5
Dean gets caught by a vamp.
Sam sees this and just watches without going to help Dean. Then there's that whole Sam-smirking-as-Dean's-forced-to-drink-vamp-blood thing. And we really start to see that Sam is changed and not for the better. 
Dean goes all vampy.
We first learn about all the Alphas.
Dean gets unvampified.

Episode 6
Cass is back again.
Lisa dumps Dean.
Dean is still creeped out by Sam and his unSammyness.
Sam is still acting semi-douchey.
Cass claims to not know what's up with Sam.
We meet Veritas and she thinks Sam is no longer human.
Sam tells Dean that he can't feel anything anymore.

Episode 7
It seems someone has jacked Sam's soul.
The bros go to the Campbell compound to ask Gramps how he came back to life. He doesn't know. He still has his soul though.
Gramps has been kidnapping baddies and torturing them for information.
Gramps has a boss that wants him to find purgatory.
Crowley is Gramps' boss. He says that he raised Gramps and Sam.
Crowley is willing to make a deal with the boys. He'll give Sam his soul back if they agree to round up all the Alpha baddies for him.

Episode 8
Dean tells Crowley that they won't be some demon's bitch. Crowley touches Sam's hand and burns it. Well if you're gonna be a dick about it i guess we will work with you.
The boys set out to find the Alpha skinwalker.
The skinwalker job gets kinda fouled up.
Dean is still mistrustful of Sam.
Sam tells Dean that without his soul he doesn't care about anything. He doesn't care about Ben and Lisa. And he doesn't care about Dean either really.

Episode 9
Cornfields! Crop circles!
The townspeople think aliens are responsible. They think that aliens are abducting people.
Sam shows his super unempatheticness.
Dean gets abducted!
But it's not aliens. It's fairies, y'all!
There are leprechauns too.
The leprechaun tells Sam that he can get his soul back for him but Sam doesn't take the deal.

Episode 10
Crowley questions a multitude of baddies for the whereabouts of purgatory.
The Winchesters are kidnapped by Meg. She wants them to help her find Crowley. The bros agree to work with her. 
Gramps is working with Crowley so he'll bring Mary back. 
Cass gets a boner from porn-watching (and maybe Meg!)
Meg and the boys trap Crowley and want him to get Sam's soul back but Crowley tells Sam that he can't get it for him.
Sam is very discouraged about the whole soul business now and isn't sure if he even wants his soul back. 
Cass burns Crowley's bones and Crowley turns to ash.

Episode 11
Dean goes to Freddy Kruger and basically asks Freddy to kill him for a second.
Dean wants Death to do him a solid. He wants Death to get Sam's soul outta the box. Death agrees but only if Dean will do Death's job for a day. If Dean can do the job and do it right then Death will get Sammy's soul and put a wall up so Sam can't remember all the bad shizz.
Sam tries to kill Bobby for a spell that Balthy's cooked up so that Sam can keep his soul out of his body. 
Bobby almost gets stabbed by Sam but Dean saves the day by clocking Sam in the face and locking him in the panic room.
Death gives Sam his soul back with new aluminum siding which he advices Sam to not scratch at.

Episode 12
Sam wakes up and doesn't remember anything. The last thing he can remember is falling in to the box and then waking up in Bobby's panic room but none of the in between. Dean wants to keep it that way.
Dragons are kidnapping virgins.
We visit Ivy from Passions (though her name is Ellie on Supernatural) and she knows a shit ton about dragons (and Bobby!)
Sam tricks Cass into spilling the beans about his year off.
The bros kill some dragon (which really just turns out to be a dude that looks like an angel.)
Sam and Dean pilfer a book made of human skin from an alter in the dragon's lair. It's An Idiot's Guide to Opening Purgatory (more or less.)
But some of the dragon dudes got away with a van full of virgins. They push one of the virgins in a fiery pit and out flies The Mother Of All.

Episode 13
Sam has flashbacks of his previous soulless year. He realizes that he's been to this town before. The locals recognize him by one of his agent alias'. 
A year ago the sheriff and his wife figured out that Sam was a hunter and asked for his help. 
Because of Sam, the sheriff ended up dead.
Sam wants to right the wrongs he inflicted on this town.
He realizes that there could be more cases like this where he made trouble as opposed to actually helping. 

Episode 14 
Ben calls Dean and tells him that Lisa won't come out of her room. 
Dean goes to check it out and finds that Lisa is fine. Ben was just trying to Parent Trap them. 
Lisa tells Dean he has to let her let him go. 
The boys are involved in a case of mannequin/haunted kidney/poor dead girl and when all is said and done they feel like they didn't really win this one. 

Episode 15
Balthy informs Sam and Dean that they're at the top of Raphael's hit list so he gives them a key and throws them into an alternate reality in order to keep them safe. 
An angel named Virgil is sent after the boys. 
Virgil kills Misha Collins and Eric Kripke. 
Sam and Dean are finally transported back to real life and Raphael is there and wants the key Balthy gave them. But the key was a fake.
Cass enters and threatens Raphael.
Raphael gets away.

Episode 16
Mama's back and she convinces people to kill their families.
Bobby goes to work one of the cases and finds Rufus is working it too. Yay Rufus!!!
Annoying Girl Cousin and Gramps are also working this case.
Dean shoots and kills Annoying Girl Cousin because he's been infected with the ear worm thingie.
Sam shoots Gramps in the head thinking that he's been infected. 
Bobby and Rufus try to saw open Gramps' head to find the ear worm but Gramps wakes up during the procedure. 
Bobby electrocutes Gramps and the ear worm leaves Gramps and infects Bobby's brain. 
Under the ear worms influence, Bobby stabs Rufus. 
Dean and Sam tie Bobby down and electrocute him even though it might kill him. 
Bobby survives but Rufus dies. 

Episode 17
Balthy unsunk the Titanic which completely changed history. 
Bobby is married to Ellen and she and Jo are still alive. 
But Fate is pissed at Balthy so she starts killing people that were related to passengers on the Titanic in order to balance the scales. 
Fate goes after the boys for rendering her useless with their whole nonapocalypse thing. 
Balthy goes back and resinks the ship. 
Ellen and Jo are dead once again. Sam and Dean are safe from Fate. For now.

Episode 18
Dean and Sam ransack the Campbell compound and find information on destroying Mama. But it'll take the ashes of a phoenix.
Dean finds Samuel Colt's journal. He writes about how he totes killed a phoenix.
The bros need to travel back in time so they can scoop up the ashes.
Cass sends the boys to the Old West.
Cass gets in a fight with another angel. He kills her but gets nicked in the process. Because he's hurt, Cass has to touch Bobby's soul in order to get the power to bring the boys back.
Sam and Dean almost get the ashes but Cass calls them back too soon.
A delivery guy delivers a package. It's from Samuel Colt! And it's the ashes!

Episode 19
Dean fills bullets with the ashes of a phoenix we acquired in the previous episode.
Mama wreaks havoc in a bar, making people attack each other.
Our Friendly Neighborhood Vamp Lenore tells us where we can find Mama. She asks the brothers if they'll kill her. They won't, they think that Lenore is good and thus deserves to live.
Cass kills her instead and is all harsh about it.
Mama has made some kind of hybrids. Dean names them Jefferson Starships.
Mama wants to make a deal with the boys. They help her kill Crowley and she'll let them and their friends live.
But Sam and Dean are tired of working with/for demons so they decline Mama's offer.
This does not please Mama. So she bites Dean.
But Dean ingested some of the ashes. So Mama bites the big one. Yay!
But not so yay yet, cos Mama already succeeded in making a perfect hybrid and fooled the bros with it. Even though Mama's gone the hybrid could have turned half the town by now.
So Sam and Dean go to kill the hybrid. But when they get there they discover that he's already dead. And it looks like the work of a demon. But who?
Cass stands over Mama's dead body. He's gone back to meet with Crowley..... who HE'S BEEN WORKING WITH THIS WHOLE TIME!!!!

Episode 20
Crowley is still searching for purgatory and is super mad at the Winchesters for killing Mama whom Crowley thought knew where to find purgatory. 
Cass tells his side of the story. We find out that he's the one that really raised Sam from hell.
Dean lies to Cass about what they're up to. He tells Cass they're on an ordinary monster mission when really they're trying to find Crowley. 
Raphael wants Cass to pledge his allegiance to him. And he wants to set Michael and Lucifer free and fast track the apocalypse. 
Crowley sends hitmen to kill Sam, Dean and Bobby but Cass smites the hitmen. 
In a flashback Crowley tells Cass in order to kill Raphael they'll need a lot of power and purgatory is the answer. Millions of souls ripe for the taking. This is the deal that Crowley and Cass make. To find purgatory, go halvsies on the souls and get rid of Raphael.
In present day, Dean, Sam and Bobby trap Cass in an angel's snare in order to find Crowley. 
Cass tells the boy about his deal with Crowley. Dean feels betrayed by Cass and pleads with him not to work with Crowley. 
But Cass tells him that he has to work with Crowley. 

Episode 21
A writer named H.P. Lovecraft might have known something about purgatory. 
Crowley kidnaps Lisa and Ben.
Sam and Dean tell Balthy that Cass betrayed them so they need his angel help now. 
Bobby finds out Lovecraft had a party and opened a portal and something came out. 
Dean interrogates some demons looking for where Crowley has stashed Lisa and Ben. One of the demons attacks Dean. Cass kills said demon, saving Dean. 
Bobby finds out the "thing that came from purgatory" was actually Ellie from episode 12. She's been trying to keep purgatory closed forevs. Bobby tells her Cass will come after her once he realizes what she is. 
Balthy agrees to be a double agent for the Winchesters because he doesn't trust Cass either. Balthy finds where Lisa and Ben are being held and takes the bros there.
They find Lisa and Ben but there's a demon possessing Lisa and she holds a knife to Ben's throat. Dean exercises the demon but not before the demon made Lisa stab herself.
They take Lisa to the hospital. Cass saves her. Dean asks Cass to make Lisa and Ben forget they ever met him. Cass complies.
Cass kidnaps Ellie. 

Episode 22
Sam is unconscious in Bobby's panic room and tripping balls. Cass has let down the wall in Sam's noggin. There are several Sams and Real Sam has to defeat them before he can get back to real life. Sam starts remembering pieces from his year o' soullessness. 
Cass realizes Balthy betrayed him and was working for the Winchesters behind his back. Cass kills Balthy.
Cass rethinks his arrangement with Crowley. He tells Crowley to bow before him or haul ass. Crowley hauls it. 
Then Crowley decides that he'll work with Raphael instead. 
Cass gives Crowley the blood cocktail (half virgin blood, half purgatory native's blood) to open purgatory and then Cass leaves.
Crowley drinks the blood and chants his spell but nothing happens. Cass tricked them. He drank the real cocktail thus got all the souls and all their power. 
Cass is back and gets all powerful angel glowy. 
Crowley splits. 
Cass kills Raphael and now must destroy all of Raph's followers. 
Cass is the new God and he wants the boys to bow down to him and pledge their allegiance or he'll have to destroy them too. 

Most Holy Shizz Moments:
Sam isn't dead! But he is soulless.
Gramps is Crowley's bitch.
Crowley is the King of Hell.
Everyone is looking for purgatory.
Crowley and Cass are partners.
Death gets Sam his soul back.
Dean asks Cass to make Lisa and Ben forget about him.
Cass breaks his promise to Crowley.
Cass is the new God (and on a cray cray power trip.)

Pour One Out:
Annoying Girl Cousin.
Rufus (go on, pour two. *sniff*)
Ellen and Jo (again.)
Balthy (pour two for Balthy too.)

So there you have it, folks. Your crib notes for season 6!
Now you can go confidently into season 7 (which premieres on the CW Friday September 23rd at 9pm!)
P.S. Don't forget about the Drink-Along!

Friday, September 16, 2011

The TBR Back Burner Challenge: Round 8 Reviews

I've heard so many wonderful things about both of Lauren Oliver's books and they both just happen to be mocking me from my TBR pile so I decided that now would be the perfect time to buckle down and read them. So this month I'll be taking on Before I Fall and Delirium. Join me, won't you? 

EvilEva reviews...... Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver.
Sam Kingston's life is pretty golden. She has a tight knit group of friends, a hot boyfriend and she's popular! But one night one small moment changes everything. There's an accident and Sam is thrown into a sort of limbo. She has to relive the same day, her last, over and over. Has Sam been given a second chance to right her wrongs? If she can figure out how to repair the things she's done can she change her future? Or is Sam destined to live in a loop, stuck in that fateful February day forever?  

Truthfully, I didn't know if I was going to like this book. In the beginning Sam and her friends are the popular, mean girls that rule the school and have something snarky to say about everyone that isn't in their little clique. It was actually kinda hard to like Sam at first. But as the story progresses so does Sam. 
She starts to see that the people she thought were losers/sluts/freaks actually aren't that bad. In fact, they're pretty great. 
And she realizes that some of the people she's chosen to surround herself with aren't really as awesome as she originally thought. 
I liked learning these different characteristics of the various people in Sam's life right along with her. So I liked that she relives each day differently. Everyday she wakes up, she's frustrated or angry or euphoric or resigned to her Groundhog's Day-like fate. Some days she really wants to change and others she just says Fuck It. 
I thought that made the book really interesting, seeing which path Sam would choose. Would she have nice moments with her family or would she argue with them? Would she break up with her boyfriend or spend first period making out with him in the parking lot? Would she tell Lindsay to stop making fun of people or would she laugh right along with her? Would she finally see what an awesome sauce catch Kent is or would she continue ignoring him? 
There were so many possibilities and so many ways the story could (and did) go. And I think Lauren Oliver handled each really well. I enjoyed her writing style (and thus can't wait to begin Delirium!) 
And even though the chapters and the book were long it never felt that way. It all added up to a really great, interesting book. 

The Scale of Judgment says...... 4 and a half.

EvilEva reviews...... Delirium by Lauren Oliver. 

Love is a disease. Now known as amor deliria nervosa, love has been outlawed.
Lena can't wait for the day she turns 18 and is able to be cured. She fears she'll end up like her mother, infected with the sickness and willing to give up everything for it. Lena is certain the cure is just the thing she needs to save her own life. 
And then she meets Alex. 
And she starts to have feelings that scare her, feelings that go against everything she's been taught.
Lena is falling in love.
And now that she realizes love isn't a sickness, it isn't something to be feared, there's no way she can go back to her normal life with her neatly mapped out future. 
Lena has to find a way to be with Alex. She has to find a way to make it over the fence that encloses the city, and into the Wilds where she and Alex can be together, free of any rules. 
But the regulators are always watching.
And anyone caught showing signs of being infected are sent away to the Crypts, locked up for the rest of their lives. 
Or worse--- immediately put to death. 
But love is worth the risk. And Lena has to try.

I got the deliria...... for this book! Oh my God, y'all! I LOVED it! Go out right now and Buy This Book! And then when you get back from your Delirium-gettin' boot up the ol' computer and preorder Pandemonium cos you're gonna wanna know what happens next. I do! I just finished reading Delirium and already wanna read it again. It is sooooo good! I don't even know if I'll be able to pull off a decent review because of my overabundance of fangirling right now. 
Alright, calm down, girl and explain to the nice people out there why this book is so fanfuckingtastic.
Ok, so it's a dystopian setting but it's not so dystopian that people have crazypants names and are on the verge of quite possibly having to eat each other for dinner. In Lauren Oliver's future craphole cars and electricity are luxuries. There are labs where you go when you turn 18 to be cured of that pesky little thing called love. Everything in your life is dictated to you. Your college, your major, your job, your mate, where you'll live and even how many children you should have. Love is completely forbidden. You can't so much as hold hands with someone unless you wanna be hauled off to the Crypts. You are taught that love is bad for you.
The whole premise is so interesting to me because when you begin the story you think (or at least I did) that this is just gonna be about sexytimes love and how these crazy kids can't live without it. But the author delves into the concept even deeper, what it's like for a parent to have a child and feel not love but indifference toward them, not to hold them when they fall or when they're scared or when they cry. So it leaves you feeling like the adults are kinda Stepford-y. Everything is either black or white, there is no gray area. There's wrong and there's right. The cure is right and falling in love is very wrong.
And this is how Lena feels or rather how Lena is taught to feel. Then she meets sexypants Alex and her whole world, everything she knew and all of her beliefs are shaken to their core. This is what makes Lena such a great character. She's conflicted by her sudden and unexpected love for Alex and also by her duties to her family. 
And speaking of Alex, he is so super swoontastic! I wanted to jump the fence into the Wilds with him too! He definitely gets Book Boyfriend status on this blog!  
Even the secondary characters were great and memorable. I loved Hana, Lena's bestie. She was totally there for Lena and aided in her rule-breaking.
And even though she wasn't in the book that much, I LOVED me some Gracie! Lauren Oliver made her seem so sweet and fragile and I just wanted to snuggle her up and keep her in my pocket. 
Delirium, much like love itself is a roller coaster ride of emotions. It's so epic and wonderful and tragic and amazing and I can't say enough good things about it. Y'all, for serious, Get This Book. You won't regret it. 

The Scale of Judgment says...... 5!      

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Yet Another Breaking Dawn Trailer (Now With Indepth Analysis!)

Yep. Another Breaking Dawn trailer has hit the interweb. i thought it'd be fun if, this time, i did a full-on indepth analysis of this shizz! Ready? Lets break it down!
Here is this week's trailer

0:11 seconds in---The Cullens and their horrible dye jobs are here for the party! There are also several other people behind them which i find odd since Bella only has like 5 friends and all Edward's friends are related to him and thus are in the front row already. Which begs the question: who the hell are all these people?!

0:16 seconds in---Bella and Charlie get ready to walk down the aisle. Bella looks nervous. Or constipated. i can't really tell which cos it's the constant state of Kristen Stewart's face.

0:25 seconds in---Vow voiceovers!

0:32 seconds in---Edward in a tux! Twihards around the globe swoon their pants off. Meanwhile i can't get over those stupid contacts they make Robert Pattinson wear. i HATE them! Like anyone actually gives a shit if his eyes are actually golden. i for one would rather Edward have NORMAL eyes than go by the book and have him look creepy as all get out and perhaps on the verge of glaucoma. 

0:43 seconds in---Jacob has to remind Bella that she's all alive and shit. Pack it in, buddy. She just got married. To someone else. You lost. Now go ogle a baby.

0:49 seconds in---Aw shit, it's honeymoon time, y'all! Get ready to cash in your V card!

0:58 seconds in---Bella has to get her wits about her cos shit's about to go down!

1 minute and 1 second in---Bed-breaking sex!

1 minute and 4 seconds in---Rest in peace, expensive feather pillows.

1 minute and 5 seconds in---Edward tells Bella "last night was the best night of my existence." That seems a little melodramatic. Plus i'd be willing to bet Bella wasn't that good.

1 minute and 8 seconds in---Lets make out under a waterfall!

1 minute and 13 seconds in---It's all waterfall kisses and ripped pillows until someone gets knocked up.

1 minute and 18 seconds in---Either Bella's baby kicked (which is totes ridick since she looks like she hasn't enjoyed a meal since the first Twilight) or she's contracted a serious case of Montezuma's Revenge. Hey, she could have easily swallowed some of that waterfall water.

1 minute and 21 seconds in---Edward hates babies.

1 minute and 24 seconds in---Hey we haven't shown any trees lately have we?

1 minute and 26 seconds in---Carlyle's all "the fetus is incompatible with your body." Yeah maybe that's because she looks like she swallowed a Tic Tac NOT like she's got a baby person growing all up in her. (Also, Carlyle looks like he tried, unsuccessfully, to dye his hair circa Angela Chase. Not a good look for him.)

1 minute 29 seconds in---Yay! Bella finally looks like she's actually pregnant!

1 minute 34 seconds in---Jacob also hates babies. (For now. *wink wink*) (Eww. i creeped myself out with that one.)

1 minute 35 seconds in---Alice can't see Bella's future. Can you see the way to a Super Cuts? The whole Cullen clan needs to road trip it to one STAT.

1 minute 40 seconds in---Werewolves, in general, hate babies too. They hate babies so much that they like to hang at the beach and plot a baby's demise.

1 minute 46 seconds in---Who let the dogs out! Who who who who!!! (i apologize for that one hit wonder moment.) (i also apologize for getting that song stuck in your head.)

1 minute 53 seconds in---Edward gets all stern and aggressive with his hatred for babies.

2 minutes in---Jacob tells his wolf bros "if you kill her, you kill me." Werewolves also hate ultimatums.

And then the next 10 seconds are all Cullens fighting wolves, vamps jumping through the woods, Charlie having a sad, wolf on wolf violence, then......

2 minutes 13 seconds in---Bella faints and it's time to deliver baby! Or vamp baby!

2 minutes 20 seconds in---Edward looks like "oh balls! am i gonna have to chew through this umbilical cord?!? Blech!"

2 minutes 26 seconds in---Did we mention you can see all this vampy, wolfy, baby fun beginning November 18th?

And that's it. So what did you guys think? It's kinda the same six scenes they've shown in past trailers just in a different order. But whatevs. This is the first time i've been even semi-excited by the prospect of seeing this movie so i guess this new trailer Jumble is working. 
Anyhoo, i'm dying to know what y'all thought. Sock it to me in the comments section!  

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Books Into Movies Linky-Dink-O-Rama

So you may remember that previously in a Miscellaneous File i told y'all about this new Diablo Cody/Jason Reitman flick  starring Charlize Theron in which she plays a YA writer. Which is cool cos when have you ever seen a movie about a YA writer? But it could be bad too cos from the little info that i've found she apparently doesn't have her shit together and her life is somewhat of a big fat mess. So not necessarily giving our peeps the respect they deserve it seems. Anyhoosies, the new news is that the poster for said movie is now floating around the blogosphere and if you haven't seen it yet, here it is:

i gotta say, i really dig this poster. It reminds me of the old 80s/90stastic covers of yesteryear. You could easily envision that drunk mess blonde as one of the Wakefield twins (probably Jessica) so i thought that was pretty clever. (Plus y'all know that Diablo Cody is supposed to maybe, possibly make a Sweet Valley movie, right? This poster seems like maybe one has inspired the other.) So now we have the poster, which looks pretty cool, but still no trailer. Lets reserve our judgment for the day when we can see actual moving pictures, kay? 

Twihards, prepare to lose ya damn minds! Here is the latest clip from Breaking Dawn:

In it we see a more preggers Kristen Stewart. (It appears, much like the Lolcats, Bella can has cheezburger. FiNALLY!) Plus Carlisle's hair has gone from horrid to complete shitballs. Which is bad, in case you didn't realize. i don't know about y'all but for some reason the more Twilight movies they make the less excited i get about them. i don't know what's wrong with me. Do any of you guys feel this way? i'm wondering if i'm the only slight hater out there. Hmm.

Have you ever wondered what your district would be if you lived in Panem? Well wonder no more cos now the Capitol has a website you can join! You have to have an account on either Twitter or Facebook in order to participate. You can bet your sweet ass muscles that this chick joined. i'm in District 8, the textiles district. Not much has happened so far. i'm hoping we'll get like exclusive movie info or photos or SOMETHING cool since it's affiliated with the movie. So far nada.

Lauren Oliver's book, Before I Fall has been optioned for movie-making! Here's a link with a little information but i don't think they've made any of the big decisions yet like who will play Sam. i'll keep you posted as soon as i get more deets about this one.

And lastly, Disney Channel has acquired the rights to two YA novels that they'll be making into movies soon. First, is Shrinking Violet by Danielle Joseph which i've heard will be changed to Radio Rebel and will star Debby Ryan. And the second movie is Geek Charming based on the book of the same name by Robin Palmer and will star Sarah Hyland.

That's the news for now. If you've found any Books Into Movies news that i've missed and that you'd like to share, drop me a line in the comments section and tell me all about it!