Monday, September 19, 2011

Supernatural Shakedown: Season 6 Refresher OR Previously on Supernatural...

It's almost here, y'all! Season 7 starts September 23rd so i thought it would be a great time for a little refresher course on season 6. What went down? Who got ganked? Who survived?
Here is all the important Need To Know shizz in one handy little post:

Episode 1
Dean tries to live a normal non-hunter's life with Lisa and Ben after that whole averting-the-apocalypse-by-Sam-jumping-into-the-box-with-Lucifer-and-Michael thing.
But Sam is alive and out of the box. 
Gramps has somehow been resurrected too.
The annoying Campbell cousins are introduced.
Sam wants Dean to return to the family business but Dean doesn't want to abandon Lisa and Ben.

Episode 2
Sam calls Dean hoping he'll change his mind and help with a shifter job. Dean feels like Ben's father and won't just leave him. He feels responsible for his new little family's safety. 
We get to know the Campbell cousins a bit better but we still hate them.
Dean starts to wonder about Sam. 
Lisa tells Dean to go hunt monsters with Sam and come back to her when he can. So with Lisa's somewhat blessing, the band has finally been put back together! 

Episode 3
Sam Charlie Sheens it up with some hooker and we start to see the cracks in Sam's Sammy-like armor.
Cass is back.
Some "heavenly weapons" were looted after the nonapocalypse.
Balthazar traded the staff of Moses to some kid in exchange for the kid's soul.
Dean doesn't know if he can trust Sam anymore.

Episode 4
Bobby wants to get his soul back from Crowley.
Crowley is now the kind of hell.
Rufus and Bobby are the Sam and Dean of the older hunters set.
Bobby finds out that Crowley had a son. He summons Crowley's son and finds out where Crowley's bones are buried.
The Winchesters go to Scotland to dig up Crowley's bones.
Crowley gives Bobby his soul back and the bros give Crowley his sack o' bones back.

Episode 5
Dean gets caught by a vamp.
Sam sees this and just watches without going to help Dean. Then there's that whole Sam-smirking-as-Dean's-forced-to-drink-vamp-blood thing. And we really start to see that Sam is changed and not for the better. 
Dean goes all vampy.
We first learn about all the Alphas.
Dean gets unvampified.

Episode 6
Cass is back again.
Lisa dumps Dean.
Dean is still creeped out by Sam and his unSammyness.
Sam is still acting semi-douchey.
Cass claims to not know what's up with Sam.
We meet Veritas and she thinks Sam is no longer human.
Sam tells Dean that he can't feel anything anymore.

Episode 7
It seems someone has jacked Sam's soul.
The bros go to the Campbell compound to ask Gramps how he came back to life. He doesn't know. He still has his soul though.
Gramps has been kidnapping baddies and torturing them for information.
Gramps has a boss that wants him to find purgatory.
Crowley is Gramps' boss. He says that he raised Gramps and Sam.
Crowley is willing to make a deal with the boys. He'll give Sam his soul back if they agree to round up all the Alpha baddies for him.

Episode 8
Dean tells Crowley that they won't be some demon's bitch. Crowley touches Sam's hand and burns it. Well if you're gonna be a dick about it i guess we will work with you.
The boys set out to find the Alpha skinwalker.
The skinwalker job gets kinda fouled up.
Dean is still mistrustful of Sam.
Sam tells Dean that without his soul he doesn't care about anything. He doesn't care about Ben and Lisa. And he doesn't care about Dean either really.

Episode 9
Cornfields! Crop circles!
The townspeople think aliens are responsible. They think that aliens are abducting people.
Sam shows his super unempatheticness.
Dean gets abducted!
But it's not aliens. It's fairies, y'all!
There are leprechauns too.
The leprechaun tells Sam that he can get his soul back for him but Sam doesn't take the deal.

Episode 10
Crowley questions a multitude of baddies for the whereabouts of purgatory.
The Winchesters are kidnapped by Meg. She wants them to help her find Crowley. The bros agree to work with her. 
Gramps is working with Crowley so he'll bring Mary back. 
Cass gets a boner from porn-watching (and maybe Meg!)
Meg and the boys trap Crowley and want him to get Sam's soul back but Crowley tells Sam that he can't get it for him.
Sam is very discouraged about the whole soul business now and isn't sure if he even wants his soul back. 
Cass burns Crowley's bones and Crowley turns to ash.

Episode 11
Dean goes to Freddy Kruger and basically asks Freddy to kill him for a second.
Dean wants Death to do him a solid. He wants Death to get Sam's soul outta the box. Death agrees but only if Dean will do Death's job for a day. If Dean can do the job and do it right then Death will get Sammy's soul and put a wall up so Sam can't remember all the bad shizz.
Sam tries to kill Bobby for a spell that Balthy's cooked up so that Sam can keep his soul out of his body. 
Bobby almost gets stabbed by Sam but Dean saves the day by clocking Sam in the face and locking him in the panic room.
Death gives Sam his soul back with new aluminum siding which he advices Sam to not scratch at.

Episode 12
Sam wakes up and doesn't remember anything. The last thing he can remember is falling in to the box and then waking up in Bobby's panic room but none of the in between. Dean wants to keep it that way.
Dragons are kidnapping virgins.
We visit Ivy from Passions (though her name is Ellie on Supernatural) and she knows a shit ton about dragons (and Bobby!)
Sam tricks Cass into spilling the beans about his year off.
The bros kill some dragon (which really just turns out to be a dude that looks like an angel.)
Sam and Dean pilfer a book made of human skin from an alter in the dragon's lair. It's An Idiot's Guide to Opening Purgatory (more or less.)
But some of the dragon dudes got away with a van full of virgins. They push one of the virgins in a fiery pit and out flies The Mother Of All.

Episode 13
Sam has flashbacks of his previous soulless year. He realizes that he's been to this town before. The locals recognize him by one of his agent alias'. 
A year ago the sheriff and his wife figured out that Sam was a hunter and asked for his help. 
Because of Sam, the sheriff ended up dead.
Sam wants to right the wrongs he inflicted on this town.
He realizes that there could be more cases like this where he made trouble as opposed to actually helping. 

Episode 14 
Ben calls Dean and tells him that Lisa won't come out of her room. 
Dean goes to check it out and finds that Lisa is fine. Ben was just trying to Parent Trap them. 
Lisa tells Dean he has to let her let him go. 
The boys are involved in a case of mannequin/haunted kidney/poor dead girl and when all is said and done they feel like they didn't really win this one. 

Episode 15
Balthy informs Sam and Dean that they're at the top of Raphael's hit list so he gives them a key and throws them into an alternate reality in order to keep them safe. 
An angel named Virgil is sent after the boys. 
Virgil kills Misha Collins and Eric Kripke. 
Sam and Dean are finally transported back to real life and Raphael is there and wants the key Balthy gave them. But the key was a fake.
Cass enters and threatens Raphael.
Raphael gets away.

Episode 16
Mama's back and she convinces people to kill their families.
Bobby goes to work one of the cases and finds Rufus is working it too. Yay Rufus!!!
Annoying Girl Cousin and Gramps are also working this case.
Dean shoots and kills Annoying Girl Cousin because he's been infected with the ear worm thingie.
Sam shoots Gramps in the head thinking that he's been infected. 
Bobby and Rufus try to saw open Gramps' head to find the ear worm but Gramps wakes up during the procedure. 
Bobby electrocutes Gramps and the ear worm leaves Gramps and infects Bobby's brain. 
Under the ear worms influence, Bobby stabs Rufus. 
Dean and Sam tie Bobby down and electrocute him even though it might kill him. 
Bobby survives but Rufus dies. 

Episode 17
Balthy unsunk the Titanic which completely changed history. 
Bobby is married to Ellen and she and Jo are still alive. 
But Fate is pissed at Balthy so she starts killing people that were related to passengers on the Titanic in order to balance the scales. 
Fate goes after the boys for rendering her useless with their whole nonapocalypse thing. 
Balthy goes back and resinks the ship. 
Ellen and Jo are dead once again. Sam and Dean are safe from Fate. For now.

Episode 18
Dean and Sam ransack the Campbell compound and find information on destroying Mama. But it'll take the ashes of a phoenix.
Dean finds Samuel Colt's journal. He writes about how he totes killed a phoenix.
The bros need to travel back in time so they can scoop up the ashes.
Cass sends the boys to the Old West.
Cass gets in a fight with another angel. He kills her but gets nicked in the process. Because he's hurt, Cass has to touch Bobby's soul in order to get the power to bring the boys back.
Sam and Dean almost get the ashes but Cass calls them back too soon.
A delivery guy delivers a package. It's from Samuel Colt! And it's the ashes!

Episode 19
Dean fills bullets with the ashes of a phoenix we acquired in the previous episode.
Mama wreaks havoc in a bar, making people attack each other.
Our Friendly Neighborhood Vamp Lenore tells us where we can find Mama. She asks the brothers if they'll kill her. They won't, they think that Lenore is good and thus deserves to live.
Cass kills her instead and is all harsh about it.
Mama has made some kind of hybrids. Dean names them Jefferson Starships.
Mama wants to make a deal with the boys. They help her kill Crowley and she'll let them and their friends live.
But Sam and Dean are tired of working with/for demons so they decline Mama's offer.
This does not please Mama. So she bites Dean.
But Dean ingested some of the ashes. So Mama bites the big one. Yay!
But not so yay yet, cos Mama already succeeded in making a perfect hybrid and fooled the bros with it. Even though Mama's gone the hybrid could have turned half the town by now.
So Sam and Dean go to kill the hybrid. But when they get there they discover that he's already dead. And it looks like the work of a demon. But who?
Cass stands over Mama's dead body. He's gone back to meet with Crowley..... who HE'S BEEN WORKING WITH THIS WHOLE TIME!!!!

Episode 20
Crowley is still searching for purgatory and is super mad at the Winchesters for killing Mama whom Crowley thought knew where to find purgatory. 
Cass tells his side of the story. We find out that he's the one that really raised Sam from hell.
Dean lies to Cass about what they're up to. He tells Cass they're on an ordinary monster mission when really they're trying to find Crowley. 
Raphael wants Cass to pledge his allegiance to him. And he wants to set Michael and Lucifer free and fast track the apocalypse. 
Crowley sends hitmen to kill Sam, Dean and Bobby but Cass smites the hitmen. 
In a flashback Crowley tells Cass in order to kill Raphael they'll need a lot of power and purgatory is the answer. Millions of souls ripe for the taking. This is the deal that Crowley and Cass make. To find purgatory, go halvsies on the souls and get rid of Raphael.
In present day, Dean, Sam and Bobby trap Cass in an angel's snare in order to find Crowley. 
Cass tells the boy about his deal with Crowley. Dean feels betrayed by Cass and pleads with him not to work with Crowley. 
But Cass tells him that he has to work with Crowley. 

Episode 21
A writer named H.P. Lovecraft might have known something about purgatory. 
Crowley kidnaps Lisa and Ben.
Sam and Dean tell Balthy that Cass betrayed them so they need his angel help now. 
Bobby finds out Lovecraft had a party and opened a portal and something came out. 
Dean interrogates some demons looking for where Crowley has stashed Lisa and Ben. One of the demons attacks Dean. Cass kills said demon, saving Dean. 
Bobby finds out the "thing that came from purgatory" was actually Ellie from episode 12. She's been trying to keep purgatory closed forevs. Bobby tells her Cass will come after her once he realizes what she is. 
Balthy agrees to be a double agent for the Winchesters because he doesn't trust Cass either. Balthy finds where Lisa and Ben are being held and takes the bros there.
They find Lisa and Ben but there's a demon possessing Lisa and she holds a knife to Ben's throat. Dean exercises the demon but not before the demon made Lisa stab herself.
They take Lisa to the hospital. Cass saves her. Dean asks Cass to make Lisa and Ben forget they ever met him. Cass complies.
Cass kidnaps Ellie. 

Episode 22
Sam is unconscious in Bobby's panic room and tripping balls. Cass has let down the wall in Sam's noggin. There are several Sams and Real Sam has to defeat them before he can get back to real life. Sam starts remembering pieces from his year o' soullessness. 
Cass realizes Balthy betrayed him and was working for the Winchesters behind his back. Cass kills Balthy.
Cass rethinks his arrangement with Crowley. He tells Crowley to bow before him or haul ass. Crowley hauls it. 
Then Crowley decides that he'll work with Raphael instead. 
Cass gives Crowley the blood cocktail (half virgin blood, half purgatory native's blood) to open purgatory and then Cass leaves.
Crowley drinks the blood and chants his spell but nothing happens. Cass tricked them. He drank the real cocktail thus got all the souls and all their power. 
Cass is back and gets all powerful angel glowy. 
Crowley splits. 
Cass kills Raphael and now must destroy all of Raph's followers. 
Cass is the new God and he wants the boys to bow down to him and pledge their allegiance or he'll have to destroy them too. 

Most Holy Shizz Moments:
Sam isn't dead! But he is soulless.
Gramps is Crowley's bitch.
Crowley is the King of Hell.
Everyone is looking for purgatory.
Crowley and Cass are partners.
Death gets Sam his soul back.
Dean asks Cass to make Lisa and Ben forget about him.
Cass breaks his promise to Crowley.
Cass is the new God (and on a cray cray power trip.)

Pour One Out:
Annoying Girl Cousin.
Gramps.
Rufus (go on, pour two. *sniff*)
Ellen and Jo (again.)
Lenore.
Mama.
Ellie.
Balthy (pour two for Balthy too.)
Raphael.

So there you have it, folks. Your crib notes for season 6!
Now you can go confidently into season 7 (which premieres on the CW Friday September 23rd at 9pm!)
P.S. Don't forget about the Drink-Along!
   

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