Sunday, February 27, 2011

Books Into Movies (And TV!) Madness

Hey blogger buddies! How would you like a little Books Into Movie (and TV) news? Well i got info and trailers for ya. 

First off i'll share with you the trailer i've been waiting for. It's Something Borrowed based on the book of the same name by Emily Giffin. i loved this book so i really hope that they don't completely fuck the movie up. 

Another book that i really liked is also being made into a movie. 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher. Here's a linky-dink for ya. Don't know what i think about Selena Gomez as the star. She's a little too Disney tart to pull off a girl that just committed suicide. 

Also rumored to be coming to the big screen is the movie version of the book The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. It's supposed to star the adorably awesome Emma Watson. Here's a little linky-dinkage. i couldn't really find that much about this movie. i'll keep you posted when anything becomes available.

Now in even more perhaps Emma Watson news, she might also star in the movie version of Incarceron which is a YA novel by Catherine Fisher. According to this Emma is in the running while Taylor Lautner has already nabbed a role. i haven't read the book yet, although it is in my TBR pile. 

And now here's the last of my Emma Watson-related news. And, y'all, this is a doozy. Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 1 will be out on DVD April 15th!!! It's so close! i can't wait! Plus don't forget that the second half will be coming to theaters July 15th!!! One more time with feeling--- I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!

Here's some Books Into Movie news for the kiddies out there that really shouldn't be reading this blog because of its "inappropriate language." 
So here's to you, badass kids. It's the trailer for Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2: Rodrick Rules. 

i actually really liked the first movie in this series. As i am an old lady in her 20's i haven't read these books but my 10 and 4 year old cousins wanted me to watch the movie with them so i did and i ended up liking it. Which kinda makes since because almost all of the good movies that i saw last year were kid movies. All the adult movies sucked balls. Ok, not "adult movies" in the sense that they would actually suck balls. i didn't mean porn even though that's kinda how it sounded. i meant movies that were made for adult movie-going audiences. Does that still sound like porn? Oh forget it! 

i'll end this post with some Books Into TV news.
The authors of the awesome books, Bass Ackwards And Belly Up and Footfree And Fancyloose, as well as two of the creative forces behind Dollhouse and The Vampire Diaries, Sarah Fain and Elizabeth Craft are pitching a new show to The CW. It's based on another of L.J. Smith's books, The Secret Circle. So the girls will be replacing vampires with witches as the new supernatural "It" thing to be. 

That's all for now, guys. Heard any Books Into Movie news that i may have missed? Please set me straight and drop a comment below.

Supernatural Shakedown: Season 6 Episode 15 OR Lights! Camera! Alternate Reality!

It's Friday night. It's 9 o clock. So sit your Ass-butt down and lets watch some Supernatural!

Episode #15: The French Mistake.
Previously on Supernatural...
Sam got his soul back but scratched a little bit at the wall and for a second had a whole lotta hell in his head. He's better... for now. Dean briefly reconnected with Lisa only to be told that she needs to move on from him. The boys are bummed that their last mission wasn't what you'd call a success. And we still haven't learned anymore about the Mother of All. Maybe we will...

There's a thunderstorm going on at Bobby's. Sam and Dean are inside researching and drinking.
Balthazar pops in. Remember him? Haven't heard from him in awhile.
He pours salt into some bowl.
Now he goes looking for blood of lamb. Which he finds in Bobby's fridge. Of course Bobby has blood of lamb in his fridge. 
Balthy is talking about The Godfather. Didn't know angels sat around watching movies. Perhaps Balthy has just subscribed to Netflix.
Now he's crushing up the bone of a lesser saint into the bowl. Man, Bobby has EVERYTHiNG!
Balthy tells Sam and Dean that he started all this Godfather speak simply to inform them that they are now at the top of Raphael's hit list. 
Balthy opens his jacket and we see that he has a HUGE wound. He says he's down a lung. 
Balthazar hands Sam a key and is suddenly thrown across the room.
Balth throws Sam and Dean through a window. They crash onto a set. WHAT?!?
Glass Shattering. Supernatural Logo. Showtime!
There's a whole crew and the director is calling Sam and Dean by the names Jared and Jensen. 
Sam and Dean stand around in confusion as the Supernatural crew discusses "the scene."
Sam is whisked off and so is Dean.
Dean is plopped in a makeup chair where a woman wipes off a shitload of bronzer from his face. Dean is very upset that he is apparently wearing makeup. 
Sam is being interviewed by some chick. She wants him to tell her about what's gonna happen in season 6.
Dean and Sam meet back up. Sam thinks they've been Twilight Zoned into a television show. 
Dean is some dude named Jensen Ackles and Sam is some dude named Jared Padalecki. 
The boys go outside and see numerous Impalas. They walk off trying to figure out where the hell they are. Dean tries to call Cass. 
Suddenly they see Cass across the parking lot. 
They go over to him. Sam gives Cass the key. Cass says that it opens the room that holds all the Heavenly tools.
And now it turns out that it's not Cass. It's Misha! He's reading a script and thinking that Sam and Dean are really Jared and Jensen.
Dean makes fun of Misha's name. He and Sam walk away frustrated. 
Misha tweets about what just happened! 
The guys find Jensen Ackles' trailer. They enter it and some New Age-y music is playing and there's a big ass aquarium and a toy helicopter. 
Dean picks up a copy of what looks to be Supernatural Magazine! 
Sam googles Jensen Ackles and finds a YouTube-esque clip of him from his Days of our Lives days. Dean does not wanna be some dude that was on a soap opera.
Dean thinks he can reverse Balthy's curse by going back to the window. 
So now we're back at the window. The guys find out that everything is just a bunch of useless props. 
They leave the set and get into a dirty as fuck Impala. 
They find out that the Impala too is just a prop. So since everyone thinks they are Jared and Jensen, stars of the show, they are given a swanky car with a driver. 
The driver asks Dean where to and Dean says that he'll just tag along with Jared. The driver seems to think this is odd. He also seems to think that the boys don't usually pal around with each other or get along in general. Hmm. 
The boys realize that they aren't even in the US anymore but are instead in Vancouver. 
Finally they arrive at their destination. They open the doors to a phat pad. Sam says "Wow i must be the star of this thing." 
There is a tanning bed or maybe one of those creepy things you get in to freeze your body so that you can stay young looking, right there in the living room. 
And an alpaca in the backyard. WHA???
The boys are muy confused by all of Jared's weirdness and wealth.
Enter Ruby. 
Except she's not Ruby. She's the actress that plays Ruby, playing herself. Which is Genevieve. Which is Jared Padalecki's wife. So, my mortal enemy.  
Are we thoroughly confused yet?
Ruby, i mean, Genevieve kisses Sam and says welcome home, hon.
i die a little inside.
Commercial time.

Dean is very confused. Then he sees a wedding photo and realizes that Sam is married. Then he exclaims, "You're married to fake Ruby!"
Genevieve is wondering what Dean is doing at their house since he has apparently never been there before. 
Apparently Jared and Gen are super green people and so Gen leaves to go to some otter fundraiser. 
The bros are still very, very confused.
They go to a study and start doing research. Sam is sitting at a desk and above said desk is a giant pic of Jared as a cowboy. What the what?!?!?
They order some doohickey online. With their credit cards! Which seem to have VERY HIGH limits! Being a TV star is soooo great! 
Since the ordering of the doohickey is now done, Dean jumps on the couch to take a little nap.
Sam walks down a really long hall. Gen reenters. 
Sam asks her about a bunch of disasters that happened last year. He wants to know if she remembers any of them. Gen says yeah she remembers them. From the show last season. 
Gen leads Sam upstairs and into a room, ostensibly to bone. i die a little bit more.
Next day. Sam and Dean are at the airport picking up their doohickey. Their driver is nervous that they may have ordered something illegal. 
Now they're back at Bobby's fake house. They start to open the box but the director comes over. 
Dean tells the director that he and Sam need the set for awhile for "actor stuff."
In a roundabout way the director tells Dean to cheese off and get his shizz together and stop acting like a ginormous freak. 
The boys go sit down. Misha is sitting behind them and asks what's in the box. Sam tells him that he's acquired a dead person's body part. Misha thinks that's cool.
Oh no. Now the guys have to act. They fuck that up royally yet hilariously. 
They are forced to do take after take because their acting is so bad. 
i love watching the boys crap acting! Sam is pointing all weirdly and Dean is looking around all weirdly. Finally Dean just mimics Misha's voice thinking that's how all the Supernatural actors are supposed to sound. 
The crew is all WTF, guys.
The director calls cut. The boys go sit down to look over their lines. Misha tweets! 
The director calls Sera (presumably Gamble) to talk about the boys shitious acting. Everyone keeps saying "Well, at least they're talking." 
All of a sudden, Sam and Dean crash through the fake window. 
Whatever they were going for didn't work. 
They go back to Jensen's trailer. Sam did research and found out that there are no hunters here. Maybe no ghosts, no demons, no angels. 
Cut to set. An angel busts through the symbol drawn on the window. 
Commercial time take two. 

Sam and Dean are back on the set walking in front of a green screen. 
They run into the angel. The angel tries to use his mojo but it doesn't work here.
The bros start kicking the angels ass. 
The crew breaks up the fight. They want to keep "Jared" and "Jensen" from "beating an extra to death." But at least they're talking. 
The angel vamooses. 
The crew has a meeting over the phone with Sera about J and J's poor behavior. They think that maybe she or Kripke should come and talk to the boys. 
Meanwhile, Misha gets into his car. And tweets! 
The angel is in Misha's backseat! And now he's holding a knife to Misha's throat! 
Dean and Sam are back at the Bobby's office set. 
The director comes by and tells them that they can't come to work on drugs or smuggle body parts or make up their own lines. 
Sam leaves and Dean gives the director the whatall.
Sam returns and says that he thinks Virgil (the angel) might be the key. 
Dean tells the director that they quit.
Virgil has Misha in some dirty alley. Misha is awesome. Virgil stabs Misha in order to call upon Raphael. 
A bum on the corner watches all this shizz go down.
More commercials.

And we're back at Jared's mansion. 
Gen is crying because she just found out that Misha has been stabbed to death. Sam asks her where this happened. Gen looks all incredulous.
The boys are now at the dirty alley. The homeless guy is telling the cops that a scary man killed the attractive crying man. He also heard that Raphael plans to pick Virgil up at the window at Bobby's fake place.
Virgil is at a gun store. He totally hits the store clerk in the face with a gun and then shoots an unlucky gun store patron. 
Dean and Sam are back on the set. Dean says that they've got it pretty good here, do they really wanna go back. They're bazillionaires. They don't have to hunt. Sam says yeah but we're not brothers. That's it. They have to go back. 
The director meets with Eric Kripke on the lot to discuss the boys odd ass behavior. 
Virgil strolls over and shoots Kripke. A bunch of times. Then he pulls out a smaller gun and shoots the director. Now he's on the set shooting the crew. 
Sam pops out as a distraction. Virgil shoots at him but misses. 
The boys scuffle with Virgil. 
The symbol on the window glows. Raphael is opening the door back to the actual Supernatural world. 
Dean and Sam jump through the window.
And now a word from our sponsors. 

The boys fly through glass.
There's some black lady standing in front of them. Apparently she's Raphael. And she wants the key.
Balthy's back! He tells her that the key the Winchesters have is a fake. 
He talks a bunch of smack to Raphael. 
Raphael advances on Balthazar. 
Cass appears. He's got the weapons, baby! He tells Raphael to leave or he'll kill him/her. 
Raphael hauls ass.
Balthazar leaves too.
The boys find out that Cass was in on Balth's plan to make them look like a couple of bitchninnies. They are not pleased with this shizz.
Cass exits stage left. 
Sam knocks on the wall to make sure it's solid and not a set. 
Yep. They boys are back in their own world. 
Dean's all "we're broke again."
Sam counters "yeah but at least we're talking." 

Next time on Supernatural...
It's all about spooky hearing. Wait. What? Truthfully, i have no clue what this episode is gonna be about. But Bobby's gonna be in it! And maybe we'll finally learn some more about Mama.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge: Round 2 Part 2 Reviews

I've decided to take a little vacay from my Stoneybrook pals for the second half of this months Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge. But wherever shall I go? Hmm, I hear Sweet Valley is lovely this time of year! ;)

EvilEva reviews...... Sweet Valley Twins #1: Best Friends by Francine Pascal (although technically written by Jamie Suzanne.)
Circa: 1986.

Dissecting The Cover:
Because you can judge a book by its cover!

*The twins look disgustingly cutesy with their matching outfits. For realsies? What girl still wants to dress like her identical twin at 13? Truthfully, I hate that at any age. The only thing I would hate more than twins dressed exactly alike would be if said twins also had names that either rhymed, i.e. Mandy and Sandy, or began with the same letter, i.e. Kathy and Karen. Ick!  

Lets Review:

Have you guys meet Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield? Well they are the blond-haired, blue-green eyed, all-American, picture perfect twinsicles of Sweet Valley! And they do EVERYTHiNG together! 
Well except now Elizabeth wants to start a newspaper for the sixth grade which sounds like Squaresville to Jessica. And Jessica wants to become a member of the prestigious Unicorn Club which Elizabeth thinks is a little snooty. But Elizabeth is afraid if they have different interests then they won't be able to spend every waking minute together the way twins are supposed to. Jessica, however, seems perfectly fine without having Liz as her same-faced shadow. 
In fact the only thing Jess could give a flying Fig Newton about is getting into the sixth grade sorority, The Unicorn Club. In order to do that she must complete three tasks. If she doesn't, well, then I guess she'll have to find a more excepting group of little bitches with whom she can discuss boys and clothes and other super important biz. 
Elizabeth feels left out of Jessica's life now that she has the Unicorns to hang out with. So much so that she kinda gives off a Single White Female vibe. Calm down, lady. Even if Jess has new friends, you're still her sister. You live in the same house for God's sake! You're bound to run into her at some point! 
Anyhoodle, in the end the girls learn that it's ok to be different. And we learn nothing because we knew this already!

Subplot: Also in this book the girls have ballet in gym class (What? Who the fuck has ballet in gym class?) and discover that they love love LOVE it! So their mom decides that they can take ballet classes at the only ballet company in town, the aptly named Dance Studio. 
Jessica thinks she's the awesomest of the awesome but Madame Andre hates her for her tardiness and gaudy purple leotards. So Madame goes on complimenting every other girl even though Jess is really trying to redeem herself and blah blah blah. This will all come to a head in the next book when one of the girls will be picked for the lead in the recital. *gasp* Who will it be?

Say Whaaat!?!?

And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Janet, after conferring with members of the Unicorns when Jessica says she may have to drop out of the club.
"Look, Jessica, we don't want you to drop out. I mean, how would it look? It's OK for us to kick people out, but it's different for somebody to quit."
What a bitch!

Friendly Advice: 

Here's a piece of Friendly Advice to help you navigate the halls of Sweet Valley Middle School: 
You can be a bitch like Lila or a dick like Bruce or a flake like Jessica or a goody-goody like Elizabeth but the one thing YOU CANNOT BE in Sweet Valley is a fatty. 
Just ask poor fat Lois Waller.
"Did you see Lois Waller in gym class today?" Jessica asked. "She was practically oozing out of her leotard. Fat everywhere. They shouldn't let a tub like her take ballet."
But wait! There's more! 
Here's Jessica's inner monologue after hearing that Lois has been out of school for four days since Jess totally humiliated her at the Dairi Burger:
She was feeling a little nervous about Lois. Suppose shaving cream was poison after all? Oh, don't be silly, she told herself. Lois's parents probably just got tired of looking at her and sent her off to a fat farm. That was much more likely. 
Good God, how fat is Lois? Lila, care to comment?
"You could do a diet column and call it 'Advice from Miss Piggy'!"
Oh you Sweet Valley WASP's with your tiny waists and convoluted thinkin'. Fuck you.

EvilEva reviews...... Sweet Valley Twins #2: Teacher's Pet by Francine Pascal (although technically written by Jamie Suzanne.)
Circa: 1986.

Dissecting The Cover:

*It looks like a case of Black Swan up in this piece!
*The twin I'm taking to be Jessica has her arms crossed over her chest, giving her sister the stink eye. She looks like she might be thinking about pulling a Tonya Harding on Elizabeth's ass. Does anybody know Jeff Gillooly's number?
*The twin which I'm guessing is Elizabeth has her hands poised above her head in some ballet position that I don't know because I was too poor to take ballet and they didn't offer it as an option in gym class at my school. (Did they anywhere? I mean, was ballet taught in gym class ever really a thing?) The look on her face, very subtly says "Yeah bitch, I'm gonna ballet right over your ass! Which looks fat in that leotard, btw." 
*Camel toe a go-go!

Lets Review:

It's Fight Night at the Wakefield household! Both Jessica and Elizabeth want the coveted solo in the ballet recital. So now it's on like Donkey Kong! 
Jessica thinks that she's the mother effing shizz. She can literally dance circles around the rest of these amateurs. But guess who gets to be Swanilda the lead part in the ballet? That's right. Elizabeth. 
And Jessica is so super pissed because DUH!, she is such a superior dancer. The only way Liz could have gotten the part is because she is a big fat teacher's pet. A fact which Jess will remind her of about 16 bajillion times during the course of the 103 piddly pages of this book. Which is equal only in the amount of tears shed by Elizabeth. 
Not much else happens. Jessica pouts. Elizabeth is all butt hurt that Jess is being such a bitchninny. Amy Sutton can't dance for shit. Madame Andre only has eyes for Elizabeth. (Creep. Ey.) There's not even an awesome dance-off. They don't "take it to the street" and battle to see once and for all who the best dancer really is. No one "steps it up." No one "gets served." Very disappointing. 
In the end Elizabeth feels bad because she realizes that Jessica really is better and so she fakes a sprained ankle so that Jessica can dance in her place. So moral of the story: If you bitch, pout and complain enough eventually people will get tired of listening to your ass and will finally just give you your way.

Say Whaaat!?!?

And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Mrs. Wakefield for her insight on Elizabeth getting the solo:
"Elizabeth, that's wonderful," Jessica heard her mother exclaim. "It's a shame that both you and Jessica couldn't dance the solo, but I'm sure your sister's happy for you, too."
First, Mrs. Wakefield, clearly you don't know your daughter very well. She will, in fact, NOT be happy for her sister. 
Second, I'm not so sure you understand what the word "solo" means.

That's all the nostalgia for this month. Did you guys enjoy our detour into Sweet Valley? I'm still trying to decide what next months book flashback will be. I haven't read R.L. Stine in For.Ever. So, how do y'all feel about Goosebumps!? :)  

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Supernatural Shakedown: Season 6 Episode 14 OR Whatever Happened To Andrew McCarthy?

It's Friday night. It's 9 o clock. So sit your Ass-butt down and lets watch some Supernatural!

Episode #14: Mannequin 3: The Reckoning. 
Previously on Supernatural...
Sam and Dean are back to good ol' monster hunting. We learned that Sam was a man whore last year when he was all soulless. And kind of an a-hole. But now he's back to his old sweet self. Except he just had a seizure on the floor and he appeared to have all kinds of hell in his head and OMG WiLL HE BE ALRiGHT!?!?!

Sam is still on the floor where we left him in the last episode. 
Dean is trying to revive him by calling his name over and over again. 
Finally Sam opens his eyes and the flame shrinks away and he sharply exhales.
He's ok. For now.
Now we're at some junior college in Jersey. There's a janitor mopping the floor. There's a really creepy anatomy body dude thingie hanging on a hook in the lab that the janitor is cleaning. 
And now the anatomy body is off of its hook. WHA!!!
The janitor is still cleaning away not noticing that the creepy body doodad that was behind him is no longer there. He notices that blood is dripping on his freshly mopped floor. How bothersome. Where is this blood coming from? 
Oh. It's coming from the janitors forehead. This will not end well for the poor janitor. 
The lights go out. Yeah this is definitely not going to end well for this fella. 
The janitor starts running. Mr. Anatomy Guy Dude is in front of him now. Blood slashes on to the wall. Dexter would be so proud. 
The janitors body is on the floor. He's dead. And the anatomy doohickey is back on its hook acting all innocent and skinless. 
Glass shattering. Supernatural logo. Showtime!
Dean has some pills for Sammy. They talk about what just happened at the motel. Now they talk about what happened last year. Dean tells Sam that he's not gonna look for trouble that seems familiar anymore. He wants to keep The Great Wall of Sam up and together. No more fissures. 
Dean tells Sam about the dead janitor in Jersey. Dean makes a Snooki joke. Awesomely. Sam says what's a Snooki? Awesomely. Dean says good question. Well played, gentlemen. 
So now we're at the college in Jersey. There is nary a juicehead gorilla in sight. 
Dean plays with the removable body parts in the deadly anatomy body of doom. 
Lisa texts Dean. He ignores it. Sam notices and feels sorry for Dean. 
Sammy is handling the EMF which is going crazy. So something spooktacular definitely happened here. 
Sam goes to the janitors girlfriends house. He finds nothing there, it seems the janitor was a decent dude. Dean didn't find anything fishy about the school either, just a regular non-evil school. 
Now there's some guy in a factory. And it's full of mannequins. 
He's face to no-face with a mannequin. You can see his breath in the air. His forehead starts to bleed. He turns around. But now there's a mannequin there too and he straight up stabs this guy! What!?!?! But they don't even have movable parts!!! 
Now for our first commercial. 
Ugh. i hate this caramel mocha coffee whatever McDonalds commercial. If i saw a couple doing that whole tapping cups on the table/hand dancing bullshit i would totally throw my caramel mocha coffee whatever in their faces. It's just so fucking annoying. 

Now at the new crime scene. Bros are dressed in their suit-y suits. Looking fine as hell!
Sam uses the EMF reader. It goes bonkers near a cart full of mannequin parts.
Sam asks what if the mannequins are it. What if they are our monster of the week, crazy as it sounds. 
Dean thinks that Sam has got to be joking with a theory like that. 
Sam thinks that maybe something is possessing the mannequins. 
Dean is totally creeped out by them. They decide to split. But not before Dean makes a Kim Catrall/Mannequin joke. When has Dean found the time to watch all the many movies and TV shows that he quips about so often? It is amazing. 
Sam finds something on the internet about a missing seamstress named Rose. She mysteriously disappeared. The boys are thinking perhaps we have a vengeful spirit on our hands. 
Lisa calls again. Dean finally decides to answer his phone. But it isn't Lisa, it's Ben and he sounds totes concerned. He said that something is wrong with Lisa, that she won't come out of her room. 
Dean decides that he'll go check on Lisa right quick and Sam can stay and work the case. 
Sam goes to interview Rose's sister. Sam sees a photo album on the coffee table and asks if he can look through it. 
There is a picture of an office party. The janitor and the other dead dude are in it along with Rose. At one point they all worked at the same factory. 
Sam calls Dean with the news. 
Sam goes back to the factory and interviews people that work there. While this is happening really great "we're getting work done in the 80's" music is playing. It is awesome!
Sam is interviewing a very suspicious man wearing a trucker hat and hiding perhaps a mullet head. The guy says that he doesn't really know anything about this Rose person. Sam gives him his card in case he can remember anything or for whenever he wants to stop lying. 
Dean rings the doorbell. 
Lisa answers the door all dolled up and happy until she sees that it's Dean. Dean says they've apparently been Parent Trapped by Ben. 
Turns out Lisa is going on a date with a doctor. Ben enters the room.
Dean and Lisa yell at him  "Go to your room!" Aww, they sound so parental together.
Lisa and Dean have a heart to heart. Lisa wants Dean but she doesn't want his hunter lifestyle. But she can't have one without the other. So she wishes that Dean would just allow her to move on. Preferably with the handsome doctor.
Back at the factory, we see mullet head. He's on the phone and he is freaking out. He hangs up. Uh oh. There's the gash of doom on his forehead. Sorry mullet head.
Time for another commercial.
The trailer for Drive Angry. It looks really stupid. What is up with Nick Cages hair? Did his good wig get auctioned off when he went bankrupt or whatever, you know when he supposedly lost that T-Rex bone or tooth or whatever it was? 

Mullet Head Johnny is freaking out. There is a mannequin all up in his grill.
And there's Sam. 
Sam takes him to a room and starts pouring salt around the perimeter. Sam tells Mullet Head Johnny that, long story short, Rose is back and quite peeved so Mullet Head needs to tell him exactly what he and the other dudes did to her. 
So Johnny starts weaving his mean tale. He says that some of the guys made Rose think that she had a secret admirer. 
Flashback. Rose is getting gifts in her work locker. She looks very happy. She gets a note to meet her secret admirer somewhere. So she goes to the address. 
It's an apartment. She goes in and there's a table set up with candles and a man sitting at one of the chairs with his back to her. Rose goes over and taps him on the shoulder but the man falls on the floor because it's not a man at all. It's a mannequin. 
All these jerks from work come out and laugh and make fun of Rose. She tells them to go to hell.
One guy tells her that they were just fooling around and that she needs to learn to take a joke. He tries to grab Rose's arm but she pulls away and loses her balance. 
She falls and hits her head on the edge of the coffee table. Mullet Head Johnny wants to call the cops but the guy that tried to grab her is afraid that he'll get sent to prison for involuntary manslaughter. So Mullet Head Johnny doesn't call anyone and the rest of the group o' douches go and bury poor Rose in the woods somewhere. 
Sam tells Mullet Head Johnny that he's going to the burial site and that his mullet head needs to stay inside that salt circle until he gets back. 
Mullet Head Johnny acts all affronted about having to stay there perhaps all night. Like you have anything else to do, Mullet Head. 
Sam thinks he's a totally douchenugget for even saying that since he watched this girl die and did nothing. 
Dean goes up to Ben's room. Now they have a heart to heart. Ben wants Dean to stay. He loves him and doesn't want his mom to date anyone else. Aww. They want to be a family. 
Dean tells him that his job keeps dangerous stuff around him and he won't bring that shit home to him and Lisa. He's trying to protect them.
Sam is at the grave site. He's already dug it up and there are Rose's remains. He burns the bones and calls Mullet Head Johnny to tell him that he can leave the salt circle now. 
Dean is driving back to Jersey and the mission. There is a montage of Lisa opening the door to find Dean there. And now we're flashbacking to good times with Lisa and Ben. Poor Dean. 
Mullet Head Johnny goes to a bar. Oh. Apparently he's going to the apartment above the bar. 
He's talking to some chick in the bed. 
Oh. No. It's no chick. It's a sex doll. Mullet Head Johnny is Lars and the Real Girl! He tells the sex doll that they're leaving. The doll's head starts to turn around to face him. 
Mullet Head Johnny pulls a Scooby-Doo and looks all Rut-Row!
More commercials.

Mullet Head Johnny is dead on his apartment floor with a pink scarf or tie wrapped around his neck. 
Sam is there and sees the sex doll. He calls Dean to tell him that this shit ain't over yet.
So Sam goes to Rose's sisters house again. (Her name is Isabel, btw.) He thinks that maybe Rose's spirit is tied to her. 
He asks Isabel if there is anything of Rose's that now belongs to her. She can't think of anything. Oh, except HER KiDNEY!!! Yet another Rut-Row.
Sam and Dean meet in a parking lot to discuss this situation. Isabel waits in the car. 
They don't know what they can do about Isabel's haunted kidney. They can't very well take it from her. 
Isabel has gotten out of the car and wants to know what's up. 
The Impala's engine starts revving. Dean is pissed that Rose is trying to possess his baby. Dean runs around the parking lot in a comical fashion whilst trying to avoid being run over by his own car. Dean stops in front of some store. The Impala is barreling towards him. At the last second Dean moves and the Impala crashes through the window of the store. 
Isabel starts bleeding from the mouth. 
Rose shows up and says that she's sorry. She didn't mean for her sister to die. 
Isabel falls to the ground. Dead. 

Dean is fixing the Impala. 
Dean and Sam talk about the mission and how this one didn't really feel like a win. Dean isn't pleased with this result at all. Sam tells him that you can't win them all but hopefully you can win more than you lose. 
Now they have a little talk about the shitious business that is hunting. 
But they'll always have each others backs.

Next time on Supernatural...
Our boys get all TV-ified! Sam is some hottie named Jared Padalecki and Dean is some hottie named Jensen Ackles and they're on a TV set for some show called Supernatural and there's a director yelling "Cut!" and what is going on???

P.S. What happened to the Mother of All? i thought she was gonna be the next big bad and they've yet to mention her again. Coming soon, i guess.

Friday, February 18, 2011

The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge: Round 2 Part 1 Reviews

For the first half of this months Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge we're headed back to Stoneybrook to check in with our favorite baby-sitting gang! So grab your Kristy's Krushers baseball cap, jump into your time machine and lets haul ass back to 1987 where our first tale takes place.

EvilEva reviews...... The Baby-Sitters Club #5: Dawn and the Impossible Three by Ann M. Martin. 

Circa: 1987.

Dissecting The Cover:
Because you can judge a book by its cover!

*Though this book was written in the 80's, i believe they reissued it with a new cover in the 90's which would explain Dawn's denim shirt. She has her hand to her forehead, the international symbol for- Holy Hell These Children Are Driving Me Insane! 
*The three little children look absolutely horrible. One is crying, one is pulling on Dawn's arm and the little boy (who bears a striking resemblance to Aaron Carter, who was a less popular version of Justin Bieber in the 00's) looks like a complete douchenugget in a cowboy hat and flippers! 
*Still reading at an Accelerated rate, y'all!

Lets Review:

Dawn just moved to Stoneybrook from California and boy, are these two places so totally different! California= sun and fun. Stoneybrook Connecticut is fucking freezing! Seriously. It's 70 fucking degrees here, y'all! Break out your mittens and woolen hats! 
Other than this heinous weather change, Dawn in managing just fine. In fact, she's already made a group of besties and gotten a job. Because Dawn is super organized and perhaps a tad OCD. 
One minor prob with her new besties though. Kristy HATES her because, unbeknownst to Dawn, she's a big, fat friend stealer! Yes, Mary Anne is now Dawn's friend and Kristy, being the ginormous control freak she is, is completely butt hurt about it. But fear not, honorary BSC members, Dawn and Kristy find common ground through their parents divorces and their shared love of loft-jumping! 
Also, ya may have guessed that Dawn meets "the impossible three" in this book. (Even though i don't recall her ever referring to them as such.) Why are they "impossible," you ask? Well their mom and dad are going through a terrible divorce. Take a look-
"Ma'am, I don't mean to alarm you," Detective Norton began, "but has your divorce been a friendly one?"
"No, it hasn't," Mrs. Barrett answered. "Why?"
"Because," replied the detective, "many of the children missing today in this country are children of divorce. They've been taken by parents who want custody of them, but have not been granted custody."
First off Detective, way to preface this statement with "I don't mean to alarm you." Mrs. Barrett should be thrilled to know that her ex-husband is probably just a kidnapper and that her son is more than likely NOT being sold into white slavery right now. You certainly have a way with words, sir. Maybe now you'll get that promotion to be a counselor for the suicide hotline.
Anyhoo, the kids are terrible because their mom is a total space case who isn't organized or OCD enough to run her own household- Wait.A.Minute!- Dawn is organized and OCD! So she agrees to help Mrs. Barrett with her children since it's not their fault their mother is scatterbrained and their dad is a kidnapper. Hooray! The BSC saves the day yet again! 

Say Whaaat!?!?:

And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Uh, Detective Norton, duh! I'm not so sure that "many of the children missing today in this country are children of divorce." I don't even think that's an actual statistic. I would think many of the children missing today in this country are children that have been swiped by pedophiles. Then again, I'm not a detective from Stoneybrook Connecticut, the divorce capitol of the United States, so what do I know.

The Fashion!:

I've noticed that fashion is very prevalent in these books. Ann M. Martin loooooves describing what the BSC members are wearing. So here are a few gems that I found in Dawn and the Impossible Three:
She doesn't look like Claudia or Stacey, who wear these really wild outfits such as tight black pants and Day-Glo shirts, but, well, for instance, at that very moment as we walked across the Kishis' lawn, Mary Anne had on her first sweatshirt and her first pair of jeans ever. 
She looked terrific!
So it seems that Mary Anne's father has learned to chillax , finally allowing her to wear jeans! and sweatshirts! without fear of being thrown in the Hidey-Hole Of Shame! 
And what about the fabulous Stacey?
She was wearing a simple pink T-shirt under a baggy jumpsuit with big pink and red flowers all over it.
OMG, it is like straight up Sex and the City in this mug! Stacey would be Samantha. Mary Anne would, of course, be the more conservative Charlotte. Kristy would be Miranda. And Claudia would definitely be Carrie! (I mean, can you think of anyone else that would wear a bird in her hair on her wedding day?) 

Bonus Shizz!:

There's an ad in the back of the book for the BSC dolls! I completely forgot that this was even a thing! There's Stacey, Claudia, Kristy, Mallory, Jessi, Dawn and Mary Anne! Coming soon to a store near you!

EvilEva reviews...... The Baby-Sitters Club #8: Boy-Crazy Stacey by Ann M. Martin.
Circa: 1987.

Dissecting The Cover:

*This one looks real statutory rape-y, guys. Stacey is at the beach holding an injured kid while flirting with a lifeguard that looks like he's in his mid-40's.
*Stacey looks all twitterpated and moony-eyed.
*Creepy 40-something lifeguard looks like he's trying to smolder the fuck out of Stacey's face. Plus he's got his shirt unbuttoned down to his navel. He kinda just smacks of GROSS. I'm hoping one of the seagulls flying above them will crap on his overly gelled head. 
*The injured kid looks as if she's thinking, "Bitch, i can't believe you got me to fake a sprained foot for this douchemuffin."
*The tagline is:
Who needs baby-sitting when there are boys around!
Apparently you do Stacey since you seem to be using this kid as your wingwoman. Plus that's no boy that's a man. A creepy one that probably owns a windowless van and LOTS of candy. Run away, Stacey! Run away! 

Lets Review:

Stacey and Mary Anne are headed to the Jersey Shore! No, not in a hair-poofing, fist-pumping, juicehead-fucking kind of way. Ew! They're going to help the Pike parents watch after their brood, which includes Mallory, Adam, Jordan, Byron, Vanessa, Nicky, Margo, Claire, Joshua, Jinger, Jill, Josiah, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, Donny and Marie. (Ok so half of those names aren't really Pike kids. A BSC book to the person who can name who the other half belong to, drop your answer in the comments section below.) 
This should be a blast! Sun! Sand! And boys! 
Stacey has meet her soulmate, y'all! And he's a hunky 18 year old lifeguard named Scott! Mary Anne doesn't like this one bit though because not only has this lifeguard got Stacey shirking her Pike-related responsibilities, leaving all 263 kids for Mary Anne to watch after, but HELLO! he's 18! He's probably got chest hair and his voice is deep and his balls have dropped and all that other stuff we learned in Health class about boys! But Stacey couldn't give a shit even if she tried. She's in love! L-U-V! 
That is until she spies Scott kissing some other girl! Now just a damn minute, Scott! True, you never kissed, touched or went on a date with Stacey but you did call her "cutie" and "babe" and asked her to fetch you a soda, so you can see why Stacey is so hurt by your betrayal. Because she is so obviously crazy. Boy Crazy! Speaking of, hey there's a cute guy and he looks about 14! His name is Toby and he's totes dreamy! Fuck you, Scott! Stacey has a new love now. Stacey + Toby= LUV! (Until she gets back to Stoneybrook and finds better prospects in closer proximity to her vagina.)

Say Whaaat!?!?:

And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Stacey because this is why she is jealous of the other girls:
How did those girls get so lucky? Not only did the lifeguards seem to know them but they gave them the supreme honor of letting them do favors for them. Those girls got to bring them sodas and pick up anything that fell off the stand and one was even asked to fix them sandwiches for lunch.
"Supreme Honor?!" Oh Stacey, don't fret. That's what we like to call bitch work. And you're better than that.

The Fashion!:

Stacey- on finding a sophisticated look to wear to Watson's snooty McMansion:
I changed my mind six times before I decided on this new pink shirt I got the last time we went back to New York City to visit friends. Big, bright green and yellow birds were splashed all over it. It was gigantic, so it would be cool. I put it on with a pair of baggy shorts, looped a wide green belt around my middle, and hunted up some jewelry- silver bangle bracelets and a pair of silver earrings shaped like bells that actually ring when they dangle back and forth.
Because nothing says sophisticated and understated like giant green and yellow birds perched on your breasts.
Stacey- on her choice of swimwear (as well as her opinion of her bosoms):
I'm not shy. I whipped off my clothes. Underneath was my new bikini. It was skimpy (and we're talking very skimpy) and yellow, with tiny bows at the sides on the bottom part. And if I do say so myself, the top part was filled out pretty nicely.
Oh Stacey, you little slut! 

Bonus Shizz!:

Coming Soon--- The Baby-Sitters Club Drinking Game!

That's all for now but check back soon for the second half of this round when I'll be reviewing two more super nostalgic books! 
Comment away, si vous plait!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Supernatural Shakedown: Season 6 Episode 13 OR The Itsy Bitchy Spider

It's Friday night. It's 9 o clock. So sit your Ass-butt down and lets watch some Supernatural!
Don't forget the drink-along!

Episode #13: Unforgiven.
Previously on Supernatural...
Death gave Sam his soul back with implicit instructions NOT to scratch at the wall. Now Sam is his old nerdy, research-y, empathetic, fine ass self again! Hooray! Sam and Dean are back to the brotherly bicker/banter they are so famously known for. And it's AWESOME! But Bobby is concerned that Sammy might revert back to his RoboSam ways. Or worse.

A town in Rhode Island. One year ago.
Sam is shooting. Four people? Demons? Sam is shooting four of something. And Gramps is with him. 
Oh no. Sam's arm gets hurt. He's bleeding. 
Gramps and Sam hit the road. 
Uh oh. It's the fuzz! Sam and Gramps get pulled over. 
The deputy calls them agents. What the what!? And now he wants to arrest them! 
But Sam just chuckles in his face. Then he starts beating the ever-lovin' crap outta the deputy! 
Gramps and Sam get back in the car and drive away.
Glass shattering. Supernatural logo. Showtime!
Present day.
Sam and Dean are in yet another motel. Sam is watching TV trying to "catch up" on everything that he's missed in the last year. A Mel Gibson joke is made!
Now the boys are getting a text. But from who? It's coordinates to somewhere. 
Sam researches it. Sexily. And, what do ya know, it's the town in Rhode Island where Sam beat up the deputy. 
They decide to investigate this town.
It's Impala time! Sam has a flashback after seeing a sign for a restaurant
Now the boys are at said restaurant. Dean heads to the "Poop Deck."
While he's gone, some lady and her husband come up to Sam and call him be his agents name. 
Dean heads outta the bathroom and is looking at pics on the wall. He looks at one pic with interest. A picture of Sam, no doubt. Dean returns to the table with the pic.
Sam is having a dirty boy flashback in which he's totally doing it with that lady that stopped by the table in the bathroom of the restaurant.! 
Sam tells Dean that he thinks he's been here before. Dean shows him the picture and we discover, yeah, Sam has been here before.
Now we're back at the motel. Sam is in researchers mode. 
He finds out that five guys went mysteriously missing last year and now five woman are missing. Connection? i think so. 
Dean wants to hit the skids because Sam has been here before and they don't know if he left any messes. Never hunt in the same place twice. But Sam wants to stay. What if he didn't kill whatever it was kidnapping people last year? 
The boys try to out John-Winchester-wisdom each other.
Dean finally agrees to stay and work the case. So Dean heads to the latest missing girls apartment and talks to her roommate. 
He finds a card with Sam's agent alias on it. Turns out one of the missing guys from last year lived in the building too.
Dean asks the roommate to describe the relationship between Sam and the missing girl. She says it was loud. And athletic. Whatever that means. 
Sam is walking across the street. He's spotted by the deputy that he whaled on last year. This will not end well. Yep. Now the deputy is cuffing him. And Sam's in jail. He tells the deputy that he doesn't remember anything and the deputy says good luck selling that to a judge. The deputy is a huge tool.
It's nighttime in Sam's jail cell. Some woman comes in. She calls Sam by his actual name. Damn Sam. What kinda trouble did you get yourself in last year?
Sam has another flashback. He's in this woman's living room with her and her husband. Her husband was the town sheriff. Sam is talking to them about hunting. Wha?
Back to present day. The lady is mad at Sam. Her husband vanishes and then Sam vanishes shortly after and she wants to know if "that thing" killed him. What's "that thing?" 
Sam tells her that he doesn't remember anything about "that thing" or what happened to her husband. 
She says what is this Days of our Lives, what with the sudden amnesia and all. But it's funny because Dean played on Days of our Lives back in the day. :)
But she finally believes that Sam is telling the truth about not being able to remember anything. (P.S. her name in Brenna.)
Sam tells her that he needs to get out of jail in order to find out what happened to her husband. So Brenna lets him out.
Now we're at the cougar lady from the bar's house. She's drinking boxed wine. Her husband comes in and looks peeved but doesn't say anything to her. Uh oh her boxed wine is tapped out. (Hello!, just do as Kathy Griffin's mom would suggest- Tip it!) 
Cougar lady goes down to the basement for more wine. A creepy hand grabs her leg and trips her. She screams as it moves in closer.
First commercial time.

Sam is doing research at the table. Sexily. There's a noise. Sammy draws his gun. It's just Dean.
He's found out that Sam has been a giant man slut.
Dean is going to cougar lady's house. He tells Sam to stay put. But Sam leaves.
Dean is at the cougars house. He finds out that banging Sam is the common link between the missing woman.
Sam is at Brenna's house. He wants a file and thinks that she might have it. He has another flashback. Sam and Gramps are sitting in this very living room talking to Brenna and the sheriff about hunting and family.
Back to present day. Brenna is back with an evidence box. Sam goes through it and finds missing persons fliers. 
Sam has more flashbacks. We're back to the seafood restaurant. Gramps is holding some kind of spiderwebby material. It's from our monster. They can't find this monster so they make a plan to lure the monster to them. 
Back to present day again. Sam asks if he can borrow the box for a couple of hours. Sam leaves Brenna's house. There's some kind of webby stuff everywhere. 
Multi-eyed camera shot. i think we're dealing with some kind of spider. 
Dean appears on the porch. Sam almost shoots him again. Dean tells him that he told him not to leave. They go back to the motel. 
Multi-eyed camera shot again.

And we're back at the motel. Looks like we're dealing with an arachine. Whatever the hell an arachine is.
Sam tells Dean that he's starting to remember things. Dean is worried.
Sam wants to set things right because he's all soulful now. He wants Dean to back him up. Dean agrees. 
Sam and Dean try to piece together the clues from last year. 
Flashback. Sam and Gramps are discussing their plan to lure the monster out of hiding. They need a 30-something man to use as bait. Gramps is too old and Sam is too young. But Sheriff Roy is just right. 
So the sheriff agrees to help. 
The arachine is just some chick. And she's got Roy! 
But Sam GPSed his ass so they know where the arachine is taking him. 
Sam is being very cold-hearted about Roy's well being and Gramps doesn't like it. 
We tracked down the arachine's lair. There are a bunch of dudes in webs. We find Roy. Sam cuts him out of the web. 
Uh oh. There's the spider lady. She pushes Sam and he gets hurt. Gramps shoots at her but that doesn't do any good. Sam chops her head off with a big ass knife. Now she's dead. 
Gramps wants to take Roy to the hospital but Sam says that all the men are as good as dead. 
So Sam shoots all of them. Those were the four shoots we heard at the beginning of the ep. They can't just leave the bodies so Sam says to get the gasoline. 
Present day and Sam realizes everything that happened. And that he's responsible for Roy's death. 
Now we're at Brenna's house. She's asleep and wakes up. There's Roy and boy is he yucky looking. 
Sam calls Brenna to tell her that she is in trouble. 
Sam and Dean arrive at Brenna's house. The light in the shed is on. 
In the shed, Brenna is cowering in a corner. She asks Sam if what he did to Roy is true.
Roy grabs Dean's shoulder and tosses his ass. Now he's got Sam. He wants Sam to answer Brenna's question. 
Commercial time again.

Roy's got the boys all webbed up.
He tells them that the arachine didn't come to town to feed she came to breed. 
So that's why the bullet and the fire didn't kill him. The arachine had already turned him. 
Roy tells Sam that he was the one that texted them. That he went after all those women that Sam sexed up to try to lure Sam back to town. 
While Roy has been addressing Sam, Dean has been sawing through the web with a piece of glass. Dean finally breaks out and attacks Roy. 
They scuffle.
Brenna helps de-web Sam. Sam full on lobes Roy's head off! 
More commercials. 
Including a Vampire Diaries promo. i love that their new taglines are Got Wood? and Catch VD! It's so disturbing yet so awesome!

Sam is apologizing to Brenna. She goes into her house and slams the door in his face. Not cool, Brenna. 
Sam gets all kicked puppy-eyed. 
Sam and Dean are back at the motel having a talk about the previous year. Dean is trying to be uplifting for Sam. 
Then Sam goes all seizure-y. Close up on Sam's eye. In his eye there's a hot as hell Sam. Literally. He's in hell. In his head. WHA?!?!

Next time on Supernatural...
We remake Mannequin and Christine. Look that shizz up, kids.