Monday, March 28, 2011

EvilEva Reviews... Private: Ominous

EvilEva reviews...... Private: Ominous by Kate Brian. 
Private series.

Warning! Spoilers!

Reed and Noelle have discovered a shocking secret about the original ladies of Billings. Noelle thinks it's ridiculous but Reed is intrigued. Until she starts to have nightmares in which terrible things happen to her friends. Suddenly the nightmares are coming true and Billings Girls are disappearing. Reed tries to use her newfound power to save the girls but it puts her even further in danger. Will Reed be able to squeak by yet again? Or is she truly cursed this time around?

This is the 13th book in the Private series. And about the thirteen-hundredth time Reed's life has been in danger. I swear, this girl is like a magnet for trouble. And it was fun. About 14 failed murder attempts ago.
And I hate saying that! You have no idea how much I hate saying that. Because I heart Kate Brian! And I heart these books! One of the main reasons I hearted them so was because they were completely void of all the other YA trendy trappings like vampires and werewolves and angels and dystopian settings that are so prevalent these days.

Private was high school and mean-girl bitchery and mystery and intrigue and crushes and parties and friendships. Now I feel like all of that has been stripped away and it's just another paranormal teen book. So I'm a little disappointed that that seems to be the way the series is now going. I wish Kate had just ended the series a few books back on a high note and then maybe began writing a new supernatural series. I just don't like that, even though all the characters are the same, it reads like a completely different book.

All that being said, if I semi-forgot the past 12 books and just focused on the story at hand, it wasn't a bad read.
I still like Kate Brian's writing style. The pacing was crisp and there was still wonder and guessing. I wanted to find out who the kidnapper was. And in true Private fashion, the story ended with a cliffhanger. The 14th book, Vengeance, will be in stores September 6th.
And yes, I'll be picking it up because even though I'm not a fan of this whole "light as a feather, stiff as a board" direction it's beginning to take, I AM a fan of Josh! And I want to see if sexy times will be in his and Reed's future! ;)

The Scale of Judgment says...... 3 and a half.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The TBR Back Burner Challenge: Round 3 Reviews

There was really no rhyme or reason in picking this months TBR selection. Previously I went strictly chick-lit and after that strictly YA. This month I decided how bout a little of both. So here we go.

EvilEva reviews...... Unpredictable by Eileen Cook.

Sophie has given Doug six years of her life. Doug has given Sophie the boot. However, Sophie will not give up that easily. Or rather Sophie will not be given up that easily. She plans on getting Doug back by any means necessary. Whether she has to steal his socks, move his car or pose as a psychic in order to trick his new girlfriend into breaking up with him.

With a little help from professional skeptic Nick, Sophie hones her faux psychic skills and becomes a little too convincing.
Now she's being offered a gig at a radio station and shortly thereafter Doug comes waltzing back into her life. But is this really what Sophie wanted? Or is she destined for something more?

I loved this book! The premise is deliciously ridiculous and yet sheer genius.
When someone breaks your heart you shouldn't waste your time wallowing. Oh no. You should use those precious moments to go and steal all the matches to his socks from the laundry room of his new apartment! You should take the spare keys and move his car a few parking spaces down from where he originally parked it! All in an attempt to drive him crazy and realize how much he needs you! I could seriously imagine some women "getting ideas" after reading this book.

As a main character, Sophie is super likable and totes hilarious! There were several parts when I literally laughed out loud. She is just so spunky and madcap! She would be the girl to accompany you on an ex-drive by, no questions asked. She would call your ex for you, pretending to be a wrong number, to see if a woman answers. She's zany but she means well. I didn't really get why she was pining so hard for Doug though. He was a total douchenugget. He was so self centered. I just kept thinking "Sophie! Girl, open your eyes! He is NOT worth it. And it is so very obvious that Nick is totally into you."
I liked Nick. I wasn't in complete swoony-swoon mode though because he had an odd way of phrasing things that sometimes made me think "Are there really any guys that talk like this? I've never met one if this particular breed does in fact exist." But he was really sweet and I loved that he was nerdy. Because I heart nerds!

I wish there was a little more hanky panky going on because I do like a certain amount of sexy times in my lady literature.
But Eileen Cook more than made up for the no boot-knocking with all the silliness and the misadventures of Sophie. I really liked her writing style. It reminded me a lot of Meg Cabot's.
So if you're into the Cabot you'll probably enjoy the Cook.
And good news, I just discovered that Eileen Cook has three YA books out! So, even more TBR! I'll definitely have to check those out.

The Scale of Judgment says...... 4.

EvilEva reviews...... You Wish by Mandy Hubbard.

Kayla is seriously NOT looking forward to her sixteenth birthday party. A party, btw, that she didn't want in the first place. But her mother throws a big bash anyway complete with party guests Kayla doesn't even know and an obnoxious four-tiered pink monstrosity of a cake. Kayla is upset by all this bullshizz, so she decides to make a wish on that hideous cake. She wishes that all of her birthday wishes came true.
And that's when Kayla's troubles begin.

The next morning, she's suddenly the not-so-proud owner of a life-sized My Little Pony. The next day her room is covered in gumballs. Then she finds a weird, red-headed girl that looks suspiciously like her old Raggedy Ann doll, alive and sprawled out on the floor of her closet. Then an overly-tan, overly-muscled, semi-plasticy boy named Ken starts following her around.
Kayla's wishes from birthdays past are coming true!

She has to stop these wishes. Because, A.) so far they have all been completely ridiculous and are ruining her life! And B.) last year she wished that her crush, Ben would kiss her. But this year Ben is her best friend's boyfriend! 

I think the premise of this book is hilarious. A My Little Pony, a Raggedy Ann doll and a Ken doll coming to life and invading your teenage world in which you no longer care about any of them, is pretty funny.
And Kayla is a decent protagonist being so super mortified by all of these childish wishes and then also forced to deal with them. 

I wish the author had taken a little more time with the story though. There were parts that I felt were a little rushed. It was like all these other little moments were there for nothing more than filler until the next wish was revealed. I also thought that the author was a little too pop culture-y for pop cultures sake. Kinda like, none of this really has anything to do with the story and in no way moves the story along but here's a random mention of Miley Cyrus and Chuck E. Cheese and Twilight. 

And if I had to read about Kayla's Converse ONE MORE TIME! Ugh! We get it. You're cool and alternative and nobody understands you but can you shut the fuck up about your shoes already! Don't get me wrong, I love Converse but I don't love being beaten over the head with them, physically or metaphorically. 

I thought the book was good for what it was, a light, fluffy, chick-litty, YA novel.
I'm a little cover slutty over it, I must admit. I like that it's plain and simple while still conveying the meaning of the story. I like how the words "You Wish" look like smoke coming from the pony candle. I thought that was pretty clever. Plus, I loves cupcakes!

The Scale of Judgment says......3.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Katniss Is Finally Cast!

So it's official, y'all! Katniss has finally been cast! So who won the role?
It goes to Jennifer Lawrence who previously starred in Winter's Bone. i think she's a pretty good choice although i was really rooting for Lyndsey Fonseca (aka Alex of Nikita) i mean, we already know that she can rock a braid like nobodies business!
However, even though we've got Katniss pegged down we still have to wait God knows how long until we can find out who will play Peeta, Gale, Haymitch, Cinna, Rue, Prim, Effie, Foxface, Cato, Thresh, Greasy Sae, and everyone else in the entire damn book!  
Until then i'll be here right on the edge of my seat, hoping that whoever they cast as Peeta is equal parts hot and adorable.
So it's back to the waiting game.
What do you guys think of Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss? Who else do you think should star in the movie? Get your Hunger Games cray-cray freak on in the comments section below.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

The Baby-Sitters Club Drinking Game

In honor of St. Patty's Day, perhaps the drunkiest holiday of the year, i am very proud to present to you...

The Baby-Sitters Club Drinking Game!

Raise your hand if you're ready to get your drink on!

We will be taking a shot whenever any of the following occurs...

*Kristy has a "Great Idea."
*Someone describes Claudia or Stacey's wardrobe choices as "wild."
*Mary Anne cries (or is on the verge of tears.)
*Dawn's crunchy, hippie-dippy ways are mentioned.
*Stacey goes on about New York.
*Any of the Pike kids are named.
*A new "alternate officer" is introduced.
*Anyone mentions that Jessi is "black" and that it's "no big deal."
*An outfit has been described.
*Kristy puts on her bossy-britches.
*Someone comments on Claudia's atrocious academic career.
*Mary Anne's dad's crazy-strictness is brought up.
*Stacey goes boy crazy.
*Dawn reminisces about California.
*One or more of the baby-sitting charges acts bratty, whiny, or generally disagreeable.
*Lets talk about Stacey's diabetes! 
*Someones BSC title and job description is dropped.
*Anyone's divorce is mentioned.

Holy shizz, y'all! We will be drunk off our asses by the end of Chapter 1!
If you've got any more suggestions for the game and aren't too hungover to type them, then by all means dish that shizz in the comments section.

P.S. Don't be a dumbass. Drink responsibly. And NEVER drink and drive. Help keep the streets of Stoneybrook safe!

Monday, March 14, 2011

The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge: Round 3 Part 2 Reviews

Oh BSC, much like gay cowboy Jake Gyllenhaal, I wish I could quit you. But alas, I just can't do it. So here are two more reviews on our girls of Stoneybrook.

EvilEva reviews...... The Baby-Sitters Club #86: Mary Anne and Camp BSC by Ann M. Martin.
Circa: 1995.

Dissecting The Cover:
Because you can judge a book by its cover!

*It's Mary Anne and four kiddies telling ghost stories in Dawn's old falling-down barn! Well it was old and falling-down in Dawn and the Impossible Three but that was 81 books ago so maybe someone as fixed the barn so that it's no longer a funhouse deathtrap.
*Mary Anne has a new 'do, y'all! And it is not at all attractive. Looks like she's got a mushroom cap on her head.
*There's a kerosene lamp on the hay-strewn floor of the barn. That seems safe, BSC. Fire so close to extremely flammable hay in an old wooden barn full of children. This sounds like one of Kristy's "Great Ideas."
*The tagline is:
Everyone's a happy camper- except Mary Anne!
Probably because she's stuck with that fugly hairdo until it grows back out.

Lets Review:

It's summertime! And the BSC decides to start a camp! But not just any camp. A circus camp! Whatever the fuck that is! And everyone is excited to participate. Everyone except Mary Anne. She's all sad because her dad has to go on a business trip for two weeks. Well, cheer up Mary Anne. You're out of your attic hidey hole and you and your stepmom and Dawn all get to be "bachelor girls" which entails eating takeout every single night, watching movies whilst throwing popcorn at the screen, and never cleaning up, EVER! Which sounds fanfuckingtastic to me but Mary Anne quickly sours on the whole "bachelor girl" lifestyle. (P.S. It's called a bachelorette, Ann M. Martin. Bachelor girl just sounds stupid.)
Eventually Mary Anne learns A Lesson from one of the four year old campers. That lesson is that she needs to learn to loosen the fuck up.
And, in case you were wondering, the kids put on an amazeballs circus performance!
SIDENOTE: Shock and awe, y'all! Stacey is out of the BSC!
We were short-handed because one of the members of the club had quit not too long before. Stacey McGill, our treasurer, had just left the BSC- and her friends- for her boyfriend and his group of "more sophisticated" friends.
Lets face it, guys. We always knew that slut would be the first to go.
ANOTHER SIDENOTE: I think we've found Kristy's first lesbian lover!
Shannon is sometimes quiet, but she is very sure of herself in her own way, just like Kristy, and very organized in a Kristy-like way, too.
She's the perfect girl for Kristy. It would be like frenching herself!
FINAL SIDENOTE: We get to read about the shoulder on shoulder action that Mary Anne and her boyfriend, Logan, give each other. Hot!

Say Whaaat!?!:

And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Dawn for her definition of "stupid movies."
"Yeah, you know, Mary Anne. We'll watch dumb, nonmeaningful videos."
It's the "nonmeaningful" that gets me. I also find it semi-hilarious that Mary Anne needs someone to explain to her what constitutes as a "stupid movie."
My answer would have been:
"Yeah, you know, Mary Anne. Like. Not good."
Then I'd hit her up side the head with a wooden spoon.

Bonus Shizz!

*There's a sneak peek at The Baby-Sitters Club #87! It's called Stacey and the Bad Girls. Wait. But Stacey quit the BSC. Do we still even give a shit about her? Apparently so. It seems Stacey has gotten involved with *gasp* shoplifters!!!
*There's an ad for The Baby-Sitters Club Major Motion Picture!!! Coming soon!!!

Evil Eva reviews...... The Baby-Sitters Club #119: Stacey's Ex-Boyfriend by Ann M. Martin.
Circa: 1998.

Dissecting The Cover:

*It's an ad for Prozac!
*Stacey is wearing a white dress with tiny purple flowers all over it. It's got a pretty low V-neck because Stacey is a big slutty-slut! She's got on white sandals that, I shit you not, resemble a pair that I used to wear to Sunday school. When I was four! Whoever drew Stacey made her legs look freakishly thin.
*Stacey's ex-boyfriend, Robert, is sitting at her kitchen table all depressed and hunched over like Quasimodo after a long day of bell ringing.
*The tagline is simply:
What's wrong with Robert?
Perhaps it's that he's a teenager and his body, it is a'changing. Or maybe it's the fact that Robert is only an 8th grader and yet the artist has rendered him in the likness of Anthony Michael Hall's face of today. Or maybe he just realized that he dated a girl with chicken legs and no fashion sense.

Lets Review:

Breathe a sigh of relief, y'all because Stacey has renounced her heathen ways and has rejoined the BSC! Hooray! Although not hooray for long. Stacey's boyfriend, Robert, is all depressed and junk. He's given up his friends, he's not paying attention in class AND he quit the baseball team! Robert! What the fuck is wrong with you? That's precisely what Stacey plans on finding out! She's gonna talk to Robert and try to pull him out of his funk. But Robert is being difficult. Finally Stacey learns that she can't turn Robert's frown upside down all be herself. A grownup MUST be involved. So Stacey suggests that Robert should have a heart to heart with his baseball coach about his premature ejaculation or his manarexia or his desire to become "Roberta" or his uncanny facial resemblance to a 40-something Anthony Michael Hall. We don't know which. We never learn what exactly Robert's problem is.

Say Whaaat!?!:

And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Y'all this one was a toughie because this book was littered with ridiculousness. So I'll give you two ridiculous lines and then one awesome one courtesy of Claudia.
We'll start with Stacey, though. Here's what attracted Stacey to Robert (pre-sad sackery, of course.)
Robert's cute, with wavy hair, great dimples and a knockout smile. His broad shoulders and dark eyes first attracted me to him, but later I fell for all of him.
You know, after I fucked him with my mind. 

Speaking of Robert, lets check in on his mental state:
Robert shook his head sadly. "I just can't manage to see things that way. It looks to me as if we all just keep repeating the same pointless, stupid activities over and over until we die. So in the end even life is pointless."
Jesus. Bring the room down why don't ya. And this kid is only in the 8th grade. Wait til you get to high school, Robbie. It's all downhill from here! 

And now, because Claudia is awesome:
"Who cares if he's grounded," Claudia said, flopping dismally onto her bed. "He doesn't do anything anyway."
Oh Claudia! You speak the truth, girlfriend. This is why you are my favorite!

The Fashion!:

Stacey, describing Claudia's unique individuality:
She was wearing a long-sleeved zebra-print leotard under leopard-print overall shorts. A tiger-stripe scarf was tied around her neck and her hair was caught up into a ponytail with a lizard-print scrunchie. Her earrings were two orange-spotted giraffes.
So, in other words, Claudia got thrown up on by the zoo. 

Stacey, on Mary Anne's new fashion choices once her father had the stick from his ass removed:
Mary Anne was allowed to wear more fashionable clothes and to get a short haircut instead of wearing the babyish braids her dad used to insist on.
And he's finally let her out of her attic hidey hole for longer time periods other than just to attend school and eat meals! 


Since the divorce, Stacey's mom has become pretty lax with the house rules.
Mom's rule was that he could come in while she was out, but we had to stay in the kitchen. 
Because teens follow rules so well. And also you can't fuck on a table! Apparently Stacey's mom has yet to catch an episode of Teen Mom.

Bonus Shizz!:

*There's a "Dear Reader" from Ann M. Martin herself telling us what we should do should we ever encounter such a Negative Nancy like Robert. 
*Baby-Sitters Club Notebook Pages! Which is just kind of a lame Mad Libs.
*Pics from Stacey's Scrapbook! Her parents look like the ones from 7th Heaven.
*A sneak peek at book #120: Mary Anne and the Playground Fight. From what I gather, Kristy is being a bitch and Claudia wants to punch her in the throat. I am almost positive that probably won't happen. It'd be really cool if it did though!
*A new Baby-Sitters Club Fan Club order form! This time you get a 110-mm camera! a mini photo album! a keepsake shipper! a poster! a diary! notecards! stickers! eight pencils! and much more for only $8.95 (plus $2.00 postage and handling) 
P.S. I didn't add those exclamation points. That's how it was actually written out. 

Well guys, we've reached our nostalgia quota for this month. But don't forget to come back next month when I'll review four more new old books! Plus I'll soon unveil The Baby-Sitters Club Drinking Game! As always, if you've got any suggestions or comments, dish that shizz below!

Friday, March 11, 2011

The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge: Round 3 Part 1 Reviews

Welcome to month three of book nostalgia and flashbackery! For part one, I've picked two books from a series that was like kiddie crack for me when I was a Little Bitty. Do these words ring a bell (or tingle a spine?)--- Reader beware- you're in for a scare!
That's right, gang! It's R.L. Stine's Goosebumps series! I was really hoping to read the Night of the Living Dummy books, as those were my most favorite but my library didn't have them. In fact, it was pretty appalling the lack of Goosebumps that were available. But I finally managed to find two that struck my fancy. So lets kick this pig, y'all!

EvilEva reviews...... Goosebumps #20: The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight by R.L. Stine.
Circa: 1994.

Dissecting The Cover:

Because you can judge a book by its cover!
*Creepy scarecrow. Menacing cornfield. Full moon. This is a horror movie waiting to happen. 
*I always loved that the word Goosebumps was raised and well, bumpy and that it looked like dripping blood. Even though combining the two really makes no sense. 
*The tagline reads:
It's a field of screams!
Which I'm guessing is a play on words, "field of screams" as opposed to "Field of Dreams" which was a movie starring Kevin Costner. However, The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight, much like the cinema of today, does not contain Kevin Costner. Nor is it about baseball. It is about scarecrows. Walking at midnight. Sometimes earlier. 

Lets Review:

Jodie and Mark are going to their grandparents farm! The Super Evil Farm of Walking Stalking Scarecrows!!! You see, when the kids get there everything seems different. Their grandparents are acting strangely and there are a bunch of freaky-ass scarecrows in the cornfield.

One night Jodie thinks she sees one of the scarecrows move. What?!?! Bitch, you better run!
Nothing good can come from evil-looking scarecrows. Except maybe prize winning corn. But is prize winning corn worth--- YOUR LIFE!?!? How will you accept your first place ribbon when your hands have been gnawed off by evil scarecrows? Hmm? Or worse, how will you find the podium which you must climb in order to get onto the stage to win your first place ribbon when the scarecrows have feasted on you face?

Someone should have filled in Semi-Stupid Farmhand Stanley with these deets because broham has been reading a book on superstitions and thinks it would be a great idea to basically hold these two elderly people hostage with his scarecrow army frightening them into doing anything he asks them to, like, making cherry pie. This is why he is semi-stupid. He has control over an army of evil scarecrows and what does he want in return for letting them terrorize this old couple? Their retirement fund? Nope. Their land signed over to him? Nah. He wants cherry pie, Gotdammit! He's tired of Grandma always fixing apple, which is Grandpa's favorite. Well what about Stanley's favorite?!?! Uh hey, Stanley, did you ever think of just asking Grandma if she would fix cherry instead? Did you really have to start with Evil Scarecrow Incantation? I'm just saying, I would have tried asking first before I broke out my voodoo books. 

But fear not, y'all. Though the scarecrows do attack they are thwarted by the quick thinking of Stanley's son, Sticks. Yes. His name is Sticks. 

Say Whaaat!?!:

And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Jodie and it's a bit of a spoiler because it's the last line of the book. After all the scarecrow craziness, Jodie is sitting in the living room enjoying the quiet. She can hear Stanley in the kitchen reading from his superstition book which no one had the good sense to take away from him after he brought 12 scarecrows to life. Anyhoo, you need to know that Jodie is alone in the living room, Stanley is reading his book aloud, there is a giant stuffed bear in the corner and Jodie notices that it's beginning to come to life.
"Stanley?" I called in a tiny, high voice. "Stanley?" What chapter have you been reading?"

Uh, bitch, didn't this moron nearly get you killed by crazy scarecrows? And now you can hear the giant bear's stomach growling and you're gonna inquire what chapter Semi-Stupid Stanley is on instead of just assuming it's the chapter on reanimating taxidermed pets and thus getting the fuck outta there?!?! You're also semi-stupid, Jodie. And I kinda hope you get mauled by that bear now.

EvilEva reviews...... Goosebumps #34: Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes by R.L. Stine.
Circa: 1995.

Dissecting The Cover:

*Ugh, it's that tacky house down the street with all the shit on the lawn. Two plastic flamingos, a gazing ball, a little deer and two ugly garden gnomes. Excuse me sir, have you heard of the word "overkill?" Try looking it up and then looking at your yard!
*The tagline says:
Keep off their grass!
Or they'll cut a bitch!

Lets Review:

Joe's dad loves to garden. But what does he loves even more than gardening, you ask? Tacky lawn ornaments! One day he brings home two ass-ugly gnomes. And havoc is wreaked! For what Joe's dad doesn't know is that these are no ordinary lawn gnomes--- they're Mischief Elves which means if they are ever awakened they will fuck your world up by eating your casaba melons and vandalizing your property. 

When Joe starts to notice odd things about the gnomes and begins to suspect they're the one's causing all the trouble, predictably, no one believes him because he is a dickhole that likes to pull pranks. Really lame pranks. So everyone thinks he's just the boy who cried gnome. Until his buddy, Moose, and his sister, Mindy, see for themselves that the gnomes are actually alive. But they're Mischief Elves and making mischief is just what they do. 

They're prepared to leave the kids alone if they'll help free the six other elves from The Little Shop Of Tacky. But when the kids get to the shop they discover that the Mischief Elves lied and there are really hundreds of elves and they don't want freedom, they wanna torture human children! Some methods of Mischief Elf Human Child Torture include:
Tug of War! Trampoline! Tickle Fight!
Not wanting to be tugged or tickled or jumped on, Joe remembers that the gnomes were scared of the family dog! But turns out that Buster is super useless. Joe tries to get his attention by blowing his dog whistle and whattayaknow?, that's like the Mischief Elf off switch because as soon as he blows it they all turn back to statues! Hooray, they'll never bother us again! Lets just hope dad doesn't come home with an eight foot gorilla. Spoiler Alert- he does!

Say Whaaat!?!:

And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Moose, after Joe tries to convince him that the gnomes are alive and apparently a-holes:
"Weird," Moose muttered. "Very weird. But lawn gnomes are lawn gnomes, Joe. They don't run around doing mischief."
Normally you'd be right, Moose. But these are no ordinary lawn gnomes. They're mischief-doin' lawn gnomes. No one knows how or why they came to be but legend has it that there is a semi-stupid farmhand that loves bringing inanimate objects to life. Could these gnomes be the work of this semi-stupid farmhand? Depends. What's their stance on cherry pie? ;)

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed getting goosebumped! Make sure to come back next week for part two of The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge because we'll be heading back to Stoneybrook to check in with the BSC!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Supernatural Shakedown: Season 6 Episode 16 OR Beware The Ear-Worms

It's Friday night. It's 9 o clock. So sit your Ass-butt down and lets watch some Supernatural! 

Episode #16: And Then There Was None.
Previously on Supernatural...
Alternate universe mayhem! Sam was Jared! Dean was Jensen! Misha got stabbed! Kripke got shot! Yet we're still no closer to knowing anything more about this whole "Mother" business. What up with that, Supernatural?

We're at a gas station. Some dude is filling up his big rig. Bet that big ass gas tank is gonna cost him a fortune! 
Mama's back, y'all. She's walking across the gas station parking lot. She doesn't have any shoes on. Who does she think she is Britney Spears? She asks the big rig dude for a ride. i'm afraid this will probably be the last we see of Big Rig. 
Big Rig predictably lets Mama ride along. She tells him that her name is Eve. And she tries to make out with Big Rig. 
But surprisingly enough, Big Rig ain't having it. He pushes Eve away and hands her a Jesus pamphlet. She tells him that a mother would never abandon anyone unlike The Father. She wants to tell him a secret. She goes to whisper something in Big Rig's ear and he screams. 
Now Big Rig is back at his homestead. He looks at his wife laying in bed. Then he smashes her head in with a hammer. 
Glass Shattering. Supernatural Logo. Showtime! 
We're at Bobby's. Bobby found a pattern of hunters heading down to where Big Rig just hammered in his family's heads. 
Sam and Dean go to see Big Rig in prison. They ask him what the fug happened. Big Rig tells them that it was like he blacked out. He doesn't remember any of the family-head-bashing-in stuff. The last thing he remembers is picking up Mama. 
The bros go to look at the video footage from the gas station parking lot. They see Mama loitering beside Big Rig's big rig and then she turns to the camera and it's full on demon face! 
Another cray cray dude has decided to run a muck. So Bobby heads to the latest crime scene of the latest crime. And he finds his old hunting buddy Rufus! Y'all remember Rufus, right? Well turns out he's also investigating this case. 
Apparently the perp went balls ass crazy shooting people in the cannery where he worked. The police had to take him down.
Bobby and Rufus go to the morgue to look at the balls ass crazy dude's body for supernatural clues. 
Bobby swabs some black goo out of the guys ear. It's not ecto. It's nothing Bobby or Rufus has ever come across before. Apparently Big Rig also worked at the cannery. So now we have to go investigate it to see if it's haunted. 
It's nighttime. Sam and Dean are out front at the cannery. Bobby and Rufus show up. We're gonna break into the cannery and check this shizz out. 
Walking down Supernatural's Corridors Of Doom. 
Wait a minute! Someone else is here! 
Oh God. It's annoying girl cousin Campbell. 
And Gramps. 
Dean puts his gun in Gramps' face. He told him the next time he saw him he'd kill him for being such a dickface at their last family reunion. 
Rufus makes a funny!
Sam takes Dean in the hall to cool off. 
Gramps is a real douchenugget to Bobby. Shut up Gramps! Nobody likes you anymore! 
Sam comes back in. Annoying Girl Cousin is confused why Dean would wanna shoot Gramps dead in his face. 
Since Gramps and Annoying Girl Cousin were at the cannery first, Rufus thinks they may already know what the fuck is up. So he tells Gramps to just tell them what it is that they're hunting. He tells them about Eve. 
Meanwhile, Annoying Girl Cousin goes to talk to Dean. She tells him that she didn't know that Gramps tried to kill him. Dean shoots Annoying Girl Cousin in the gut!!! OMG! Why did he just do that? i mean, i know she was annoying but shooting her in the guts??? What the fuck?!?!
Sam, Bobby, Rufus and Gramps hear the gun shot and come running. Annoying Girl Cousin is bleeding on the ground and Dean is nowhere to be found! 
And now these commercial breaks.

Rufus is trying to give Annoying Girl Cousin CPR. Sam goes to look for Dean. Annoying Girl Cousin is pronounced dead. Sam comes back. He couldn't find Dean.
Rufus and Gramps are gonna move Annoying Girl Cousin's body while Bobby and Sam lock up the cannery so that Dean can't escape.
Sam and Bobby walk down some more Corridors Of Doom with flashlights and guns blazing. 
Gramps and Rufus walk down some other Corridors Of Doom with flashlights and guns blazing.
Sam smartly (and sexily) calls Dean's cell. 
Rufus hears it ring and finds Dean.
Dean says that he woke up on the ground and a worm thingy crawled out his ear. 
The worm thingy might be in one of them now. So now everyone is pointing their guns at everyone else. 
Bobby thinks that for safety reasons they should put their guns away so that way no one can shoot anyone else. Bobby starts collecting the guns, putting them in a bag. Gramps hesitates but eventually gives up his gun. 
Bobby puts the bag in a locker. 
Bobby thinks that they should figure out a plan. He and Rufus go to work calling other hunters to see if they know anything about this ear-worm business. 
Sam, Dean and Gramps are sitting down waiting for news. Gramps gets up to go pee. Dean and Sam go after him. 
Bobby and Rufus can't find anything from their contacts. Bobby says it's time for Plan B then. Plan B is going in, guns blazing, and grabbing the thing. Rufus says like in Omaha? Wait. What happened in Omaha? 
Sam and Dean corner off Gramps. They want some answers about why he feed them to Crowley. 
Gramps acts like a dick. Dean tells him the minute they kill the ear-worm Gramps is gonna be next. 
Then he notices that Gramps' ear is oozing! Gramps had a tiny gun stashed and he shoots but Dean grabs his arm and Gramps gets nothing but ceiling. They scuffle and Gramps escapes. 
The boys, Rufus and Bobby go to get the guns. 
They search for Gramps. Sam stops short. Sexily! There's a booby trap! 
They go around it. Trap averted. Well shit. They've tripped another trap. Sam gets stuck on one side of a door while everyone else is on the other side. Dean tells him that they'll go around. 
Sam finds Gramps. He tells him to put his gun down. 
Gramps is trying to bait Sam. He tells him that he'll fill him in about all that he did last year. Gramps keeps moving forward while trying to entice Sam with his tales of horror. 
Holy shit!!! Sam just shot Gramps in the head! 
Dammit! Commercial! 
The trailer for Sucker Punch. What are we thinking, guys? Does this one get the yay or nay?

Dean, Bobby and Rufus finally come out on the other side and find Sam. They see Gramps lying on the floor.
Bobby tells Sam to drop his gun. Sam complies. Rufus tells Sam they're gonna cuff him just to make sure he's not ear-worm cray cray. 
Bobby swabs Gramps ear. Rut row. No goo. 
Rufus and Bobby go to get a saw so that they can saw through Gramps' cranium to see if the worm has maybe burrowed deep into his head. 
Dean and Sam talk over Gramps' dead body. Sam is starting to feel guilty. What if the worm wasn't in Gramps' head when he shot him? 
The lights come on and Bobby and Rufus are back from Bobby's Truck O Wonders.
Rufus is killing me with his funniness. 
Bobby tells Sam and Dean to take a breather while they crack into Gramps' grapefruit. The boys leave. 
Rufus plugs the saw in. Bobby brings up Omaha again. He says it was his fault. Rufus doesn't wanna talk about it. Apparently Rufus lost someone because of Bobby. Rufus tells Bobby he'll never forgive him for what happened. 
He starts sawing into Gramps' head. Gramps' eyes pop open! 
He's off the table and has locked the boys outta the room. He goes about kicking Rufus and Bobby's asses. Bobby pushes Gramps against an electrical socket and fries the fuck out of him. The worm crawls out of Gramps' ear. 
The worm either bailed or is now in one of the guys. They're all suspicious of each other now. Sam says to check for goo. Everybody digs in their ears. They got nothing. But lets make extra sure, shall we? They cut the electrical cord and start electrocuting each other to see if the worm slithers out. 
Dean gets electrocuted!
Sam gets electrocuted! 
Rufus gets electrocuted!
God! i feel like Oprah! And you get electrocuted! And you get electrocuted! Worst favorite things EVER!
It's Bobby's turn. He's awfully fidgety. 
Oh my God! Bobby just stabbed Rufus! Rufus goes down! Bobby! What did you just do?!?!
Damn you commercial's at super tense moments! 
Trailer for Battle For L.A. with the awesomesauce Aaron Eckhart. i heart him so hard! The movie looks kinda stupid though. But i still love you, AE! 

Bobby's waving the knife at Dean and Sam. He lunges at Sam. Misses. Sam grabs him. Dean punches him. Lights out for Bobby.
Now the Winchesters have Bobby tied to a chair. Dean shocks Bobby with the electrical cord. 
Bobby starts talking in a weird voice.
The boys wanna ask Wormy some questions. They wanna know what the fuck he is. 
Wormy says he's new around here. Eve cooked him up recently. He tells them that Mama lead them here. That she's here and she's pissed. 
Dean shocks the shit out of Bobby again. 
Wormy tells them that they can't kill him without killing Bobby too. 
So the boys tape Bobby's mouth shut with good ol duct tape. Dean shocks Bobby again. Black goo starts seeping out of Bobby's nose. 
Sam takes the tape off. The worm falls out of Bobby's ear. Sam calls to Bobby but he doesn't respond. 
More commercials.

The bros stand over a fresh grave. No they did not just kill Bobby off!?!?!
Ok, thank God. They didn't. Bobby walks up behind them. He's alive, y'all! 
Aw. It's Rufus's grave. 
Bobby talks about the day when his wife was possessed and how he had to stab her and that that didn't work and then all the sudden Rufus busts into his house and douses her with holy water. That was the day they met. They became partners after that. They were kinda like Sam and Dean. 
Bobby starts to talk about Omaha and tells the boys how Rufus told him that he could never forgive him. 
Dean says that no matter what Rufus should have forgiven Bobby. They were practically family. And family always forgives. Dean says whenever he kicks the bucket not to worry over anything that was ever said or done, they'll just be squared. 
Bobby pours some liquor from a bottle for his fallen homey. 
Sam and Dean walk away.
Bobby raises the bottle in a toasty sorta way and then takes a swig. 

Next time on Supernatural...
Balthy's back. Cass is back. Mama is back with a vengeance. And we're in..... the Wild West? Wait. What the fuck is this April 15th bullshizz? We have to suffer through YET ANOTHER HIATUS!?!?!? Why CW?!?! WHY?!?!

Monday, March 7, 2011

The TBR Back Burner Challenge: Round 2 Reviews

Yep. I'm back to YA. You may recall that last month I was on a brief hiatus from it so that I could take on some of the chick-lit that has accumulated in my TBR pile. Well now I'm back in the sweet embrace of my one true love.
Starting with: 
EvilEva reviews...... Fallen by Lauren Kate.

Luce is haunted. By the events that transpired the night she lost Trevor. By dark ominous shadows, always reaching out for her. And by a boy from her dreams. A boy that looks impossibly like Daniel Grigori, whom Luce meets her first day at Sword and Cross, the reform school she's been exiled to. Luce finds herself drawn to Daniel even as he tries to push her away. He's hiding a huge secret and Luce has to find out what it is. Even if it kills her.

This is the first book in this paranormal series. You could probably guess what mystical being it's about simply by reading the title. However if you're a complete dum-dum face, you're in for a long wait because Daniel's "secret" isn't revealed for nearly 400 pages.

I had mixed feelings about this book. I liked Luce but there were a few times when she was too wishy-washy for my taste. I mean, really. Team Daniel or Team Cam. Just grab a shirt and pick a side already! Although truthfully she shouldn't jump on board either side so quickly as she JUST MET these dudes! Try Team Get To Know Somebody First, how 'bout that?!? But if, gun to my head, I had to choose? I suppose I'd be Team Daniel. Although I personally didn't feel the swoony-swoon for him. He runs too hot and cold. And as an adult lady, I ain't gotta deal with that kinda shit! This is why sometimes I feel like teenagers have the patience of saints because where a teenage girl sees a brooding soul that she can "change for the better," adult lady me sees an asshole with a chip on his shoulder. And "changing someone for the better" seems grossly time consuming. Ok, I seem to have gone off on a rant here so I'll long story short it--- No one likes an angsty man. So act all mysterious and aloof while you can boys coz after awhile it stops being sexy.

Anyway, as I mentioned before, Luce is haunted by these creeptastic shadows. The way Lauren Kate described them it called to my mind the Dementors from the Harry Potter series. Any time they were present in the book I kept envisioning Dementors. I thought that aspect was pretty cool but I was a little disappointed that it was never fully explained why Luce saw them or what exactly they were. And the same goes for the whole Trevor situation. I felt like I kept making assumptions but was never given the full story.

As for the supporting characters, I really liked Arriane. I thought she was plucky and cool and quirky. It seemed to me though that she was introduced so strongly and then got ditched about halfway through the story. I found that a little odd, especially since there was no explanation for her sudden absence. She was just there and then not and then back by the end of the book. It was like for some reason she was suddenly demoted as Luce's resident best friend for Penn. Which wasn't a bad thing at all because Penn was made of awesome! In fact, she may very well be my fave character from Fallen. If I had one of those Best Friend necklaces I would totes give her the Be Fri half! She reminded me of Mac from Veronica Mars. If Fallen goes all Hollywood (like seemingly every other YA novel out there) then the role of Penn should definitely got to Tina Majorino (who also happens to be made of awesome!) I also liked Roland. I can't explain that one. He was hardly in the book but there was something about him that intrigued me.

As I said at the beginning of this post, this book, it gave me the mixed feelings. I really liked the setting and the imagery. And I liked most of the characters. But, the reveal, the biggest part that the book has to offer, fell flat. There was all this build up (over 300 pages worth!) and then we get about 5 pages for an explanation. I guess I was expecting something a little more grandiose. That being said, the epilogue totally recaptured my attention. And since it ended on somewhat of a cliffhanger (plus I'm kinda hoping some of this other stuff: i.e. the shadows, Trevor, Penn *sob*, will get better sorted out) I'll probably give the sequel, Torment, a shot. 

The Scale of Judgment says...... 3 and a half.

EvilEva reviews...... Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl.

Ethan Wate has lived in the small town of Gatlin his entire life. Nothing EVER happens. Until the day Lena Duchannes shows up. Immediately gossip begins to spread about this strange new girl, niece of the town recluse. She's different and the ass backwards folk of Gatlin County do not care for different. But Ethan is drawn to Lena and he'll stop at nothing to know her. But he has no idea just how different Lena truly is and that knowing her could be a very dangerous thing.

Ugh y'all! This book is 563 pages long. And it felt like it. That's not a good thing. Unfortunately there wasn't much about this book that I liked. One of the main problems I had with it was that it was too draggy. For a book with 563 pages, nothing really happened. In that respect I felt very much like I was stuck in Gatlin County, where nothing ever happens reading about Gatlin County whilst nothing is happening.

Most of the story is about Ethan wanting to get to know Lena, the literal girl of his dreams and Lena pushing him away because she's a Caster and shits gonna go down on her 16th birthday and she doesn't want to get close enough to anyone that she might end up hurting plus she's just coming into her powers and she's all nervous about becoming either a Dark or a Light Caster even though she thinks she doesn't have a choice in the matter and blahbiddy blah teen angst blahbiddy blah. I just couldn't connect to any of the characters or to the story. It never held my interest for very long. In fact, I would literally count the pages until I would FINALLY be done with it. That is also not good. 

Another problem I had with this book was the dialogue. Granted, it's been a hot second since I was a teenager but, do teens nowadays really talk like this? To me it seemed more like adults trying desperately to sound like teenagers rather than the actual flow of a bantering, profanity-laced, teasing conversations between youngsters. 

So, yeah, there were quite a few things I didn't like about this book but the one shining spot for me was the descriptions of the town. I love that old crumbling-down, swampy, gothic-style South where there could be treasure or trouble around every corner. 
The sequel to Beautiful Creatures is out now in hardback. I think I'll pass though. 

The Scale of Judgment says......2.