Welcome to the first Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge post! I was hoping to kick this shizz off by reading The Baby-Sitters Club series in order. However, my small town library is somewhat, well, "small town." Turns out they only had a mish-mash of the books and they weren't in any kind of order. I did manage to find book #1 though. So I'll start there.
SIDENOTE: These posts will be structured a little differently from my regular book reviews.
EvilEva reviews...... The Baby-Sitters Club #1: Kristy's Great Idea by Ann M. Martin.
Circa: 1986.
EvilEva reviews...... The Baby-Sitters Club #1: Kristy's Great Idea by Ann M. Martin.
Dissecting The Cover:
The cover is, of course, 80's-tastic.
*The girl I'm assuming to be Stacey, is totally rocking the tween girls equivalent of a Cosby sweater. Plus she totally has a permed side-ponytail going on.
*Claudia has a red T-shirt that may have shoulder pads or it could just be the way she's laying, a yellow JUMPSUIT with what appear to be tiny red palm trees (or maybe red flowers?) all over it, paired with a pair of mustard yellow socks and sneaks.
*Kristy (I'm guessing) is dressed very un-Kristy-like. She's wearing a blue sleeveless DRESS over a pink and white striped long-sleeve shirt and what look like either white go-go boots (which I highly doubt!) or she' got white socks on and has them pulled all the way up.
*Mary Anne (?) looks the least timewarp-y. She has on a long-sleeve shirt, pink sweater vest and a denim skirt. Although she has chosen to pair said outfit with Keds and slouchy pink socks.
*There is an honest to God, what do you even call it? A plug-in phone? Unportable phone? It has a fucking cord, y'all!
*The tagline on the front cover reads:
Four friends and baby-sitting-Um, ANYTHING! Have you met kids? They are AWFUL! They're pretty much the last thing I would wanna devote a whole club to!
what could be more fun?
* Y'all, according to a sticker that has been placed on the spine of this book, I am an Accelerated Reader! What what!
*Ah, it's the good old Scholastic Apple Paperbacks!
Lets Review:
This is the first book in the series of about a billion! It introduces us to the four main characters. And now I will introduce them to you (as I see them!)
Kristy Thomas- Well, this story is told from Kristy's POV and the title is Kristy's Great Idea, so that should tell you volumes about her right there. Kristy is bossy and loud and nosy and full of "great ideas" and perhaps a lesbian. Maybe that could be Kristy's next "great idea." Coming out of the closet, I mean. Actually the next "Kristy" book is Kristy's Big Day; in which Kristy tongue kisses a girl? Maybe.
Mary Anne Spier- Mary Anne is somewhat of a Nothing Girl. She's shy and quiet and very blah. Plus she cries a lot. And she's got this crazy unseen dictator of a father. I'm 99% sure that Mary Anne may be locked in her attic at this very moment.
Stacey McGill- Stacey is the new girl in town. She's wild and completely boy crazy and fab-u-lous! Example-
In other words, Stacey is perfect, bitches! Well, except for the fact that she's harboring a deep, dark SECRET.Most high school boys wouldn't be caught dead with a lowly junior high girl- unless the girl was a knockout. So i figured that Stacey's permed hair and colorful clothes (and the fact that she came from New York City) made her pretty special.
SPOILER ALERT- She has diabetes. So really not that deep or that dark (or that uncommon, Stacey.)
Claudia Kishi- Claudia is the sassy cool Asian girl. And, Truth Serum Time, I TOTALLY wanted to be her when I was a tweenie! I thought she was SOOO COOL! She was an artist and she dressed like a colorblind homeless woman that's been struck by lightning and she wasn't a genius like boring Janine she was just smart enough and she hid junk food all around her room! She was the AWESOMEST of the awesome in my mind.
Exhibit A-
Yes kids, palm tree socks and feather belts are what constitutes as "wild" in Stoneybrook. That's why there's no, "The Baby-Sitters Club #485: Mary Anne and the Meth Head" or "The Baby-Sitters Club #666: Stacey Joins a Satanic Cult." But be advised, palm trees and feathers are apparently a gateway drug. (Fedoras are perfectly acceptable, though.)But she has this wild streak in her that makes her buy belts made of feathers and wear knee socks with palm trees on them.
Now that I've introduced you to the girls, here's what the rest of the book is about.
Kristy has A Great Idea. The girls should form a club! And baby-sit! But what should they call such a club? *Gasp!Light bulb!Kristy's a genius!* The Baby-Sitters Club! So they form the club. And baby-sit.
There are many misadventures such as pissing off a "witch," ignoring their charges when they are referred to as a "mean baby-sitter," and accidentally agreeing to watch what they think are odd named children but are in actuality two giant Saint Bernards!
There's also a subplot of how Kristy's mom has been dating this guy named Watson and, boy! does Kristy dislike him, what with his being nice and bringing her Chinese food and all. What a bastard! And he's got these two kids that he would like for her to watch. Ugh, as if! What does she look like, a baby-sitter?! God!
Say Whaaat!?!?
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Kristy's mom with this gem:
"I agreed to become engaged," she said.Yes. She agreed to become engaged. Not agreed to get married. She agreed to become engaged! Who the fuck says that?
Bonus Shizz!:
There's a form on the last page to send in to enroll you into The Baby-Sitters Fan Club. Your membership package includes:
a t-shirt, a poster, a pad and pencil, an official membership card, a Guide to Stoneybrook, plus four additional newsletters each year! All this for just $7.95! I wonder what would happen if I mailed this in now, 25 years later! Is anyone still a member? Do they still send you newsletters? Please let the answer be YES!
Circa: 1987.
Dissecting The Cover:
*Now Claudia is rocking the tween girls equivalent of a Cosby sweater. This one, perhaps even uglier than Stacey's from the Kristy's Great Idea cover. I mean, it is REALLY fugly! Very boxy and unflattering. She's also got on big "wild" earrings. And, it's 1987, so she MUST have a side-pony. It's like the law.
*Janine looks so totally unhip that it physically hurts. She's wearing a poo colored skirt and a snot green sweater. And she has big round glasses, so she must be a GIANT NERD. Janine, possessing no pizazz whatsoever, has a mushroom cap in place of an actual hairstyle. Her whole look screams, "I'm a librarian from the 50's! Please don't look at my lady parts!"
*Completing the cover is some little douche-nugget standing between the sisters and plugging his ears. He apparently doesn't wanna hear the merits of modern science over Coca-Cola bottle earrings.
*Turns out I'm STILL an Accelerated Reader!
Lets Review:
Tonight on a very special episode of The Baby-Sitters Club:
Shit. Gets. Real.
Seriously, y'all. Claudia's grandma, whom she refers to as Mimi, has a stroke. And *gasp* Claudia may have caused it because she was being such a saucy bitch to Janine! Janine, for those of you that don't know, is Claudia's older sister. She's an actual genius which makes her annoying and boring. And she's always on her computer studying! (Or maybe she's in a chat room talking to people that might actually like her. Wait though. This is 1987. Did they have chat rooms back then? Had Al Gore invented the internet yet? Hmm.)
Anyway, Claudia and Mean Janine is about how Claudia and Janine have nothing in common and hate each other until the end of the book when they learn A VERY IMPORTANT LESSON. We also learn that stroke victims hardships last for about 50 pages and then they're miraculously all better! Yay!
There is also a subplot about how the BSC started a day camp because it's summertime and who doesn't wanna spend their summer vacation watching kids when you don't have to!
SIDENOTE: I knew you were my favorite, Claudia Kishi!
Proof-
P.S. What is wrong with your public library that they don't have ANY Nancy Drews?My favorites were Nancy Drews, which the library doesn't have, and which I have to hide from my parents. They think Nancy Drews aren't worthwhile.
P.S.S. There's that "wild" streak again. Hiding Nancy Drews from your parents as if it were mystery-solving porn! Oh Claudia! You are so badass!
Say Whaaat!?!?
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Mrs. Newton; while talking about son Jamie's jealousy over the new baby:
"Oh, dear," said Mrs. Newton. "I think we've got a problem. The children are well, but Jamie's suffering from jealousy."Drat! It seems Jamie's gotten over his cold IN A DAY, only to come down with a horrible case of the jealousy! What ever shall we do!?
EvilEva reviews...... The Baby-Sitters Club #20: Kristy and the Walking Disaster by Ann M. Martin.
Circa: 1989.
Dissecting The Cover:
The cover is tres Traveling Pants-y. To the left there's a swatch of denim with a headshot of each girl from the club on it.
*First, Kristy looking very butch. Then, Mary Anne, I think. She actually looks ok but way older than 13. Next is Claudia with her gaping piehole and enormous hoop earrings. Then there's Dawn who looks as if she's in a pose-off with Benny Ninja for the title of America's Next Top Model. Don't forget to smize, boo. Next up, looking all redheaded and astigmatism-y, is Mallory. And there's one more girl, who I'm guessing is Jessi but the library has the Dewey Decimal/ binding thingie covering her face. Racists!
*There's also a more prominent picture to the right. It's Kristy, looking slightly less butch, and her ragtag team of baseball-lovin' minions! Or Kristy's Krushers as we will come to know them.
*The tagline is:
Guess which one's the walking disaster!Well, with those pants which appear to be TUCKED INTO HER SOCKS, my guess would be Kristy.
*The cover also boasts special photos, BSC notebook pages and a message from Ann M. Martin! (We'll get to those later!)
Lets Review:
Y'all Kristy has YET ANOTHER great fucking idea! Some of the kids are upset because they're either too young or too shitty to play Little League baseball. So in her infinite wisdom, Kristy decides to take these little, uncoordinated misfits and make her own team! They can't hit and they're afraid of balls flying at their faces (Kristy can relate) but dammit!, they're gonna keep practicing! Because what they lack in actual talent they make up for in TEAM SPIRIT. Well, except Jackie because he is just fucking terrible. Even though David Michael is an admitted klutz and Jake is the team "fatso" and to this day Claire's batting average is still a big zero but Jackie is the walking disaster of this tale. He trips and falls and knocks shit over. It's as if he's in a Sandra Bullock movie playing the role that would normally go to Sandra Bullock.
But even though the Krushers are horrible (and have an actual 2 year old playing for them) they agree to play another team that is bigger and better than they are. This team, the Bashers, is coached by local dreamboat, Bart Taylor. And guess what! Kristy has a Gigantic Crush on him! Wait. What!? Uh, Kristy I thought we agreed that you are probably a lesbian. This "Bart Taylor," he's a fella, right? Lesbians don't date fellas.
Say Whaaat!?!?
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Kristy. And there were plenty to choose from:
Here's Kristy's horn. And toot, toot!One of the most important things to know about me is that i am the president, founder, and creator of a business called the Baby-Sitters Club.
One thing about Claudia that's a problem is that she's a terrible student.Way to talk smack about one of your best friends, Kristy. What a bitch!
You should see how she dresses- wild! Baggy jeans, skintight pants, miniskirts, odd layers of things, bright colors, and weird jewelry. Also, she fixes her hair differently every day, and she does things like paint her toenails with sparkles. Once, she went to school with glitter in her hair.And the Claudia-bashing continues. Maybe she should dress like you, Kristy, in old ratty boys clothes! Stop trying to stifle her creativity, damn you!
Here's the one big difference between Mal and Jessi. Mal is white and Jessi is black. That hasn't mattered to either of them, but being black in Stoneybrook can be difficult.So not only are you a know-it-all bitch that wants to stomp out all creativity but you're also a racist!
Bonus Shizz!:
*Bust out the VCR, y'all because The Baby-Sitters Club now has a Video Club! For only $14.95 every other month you can enjoy such classics as Claudia and the Mystery of the Secret Passage, Mary Anne and the Brunettes, Dawn Saves the Trees and more!
*The All-New Baby-Sitters Fan Club is here! Now you can receive a hot pink digital watch, a BSC mood ring, BSC address book and you can hear Ann M. Martin ON TAPE! In your cassette player! Which you don't own anymore!
Circa: 1992.
Dissecting The Cover:
*Mallory is searching the attic (see if you can find Mary Anne while you're up there, 'kay, Mal) with three, lets face it, ugly children. I find the little one in the pink party dress (while everyone else is wearing jeans and sweatshirts, mind you) to be particularly creepy. I mean, seriously, why is that girl so dressed up? You're in a dusty attic, kid, dress accordingly!
*The tagline for this book is:
It looks and sounds like a cat- but is it real?Uh yeah, judging from the picture, I would say it is. It's just white, that's all.
*This is a Baby-Sitters Club MYSTERY, y'all. Which is different from a regular Baby-Sitters Club book because it's, uh, mysterious, I guess.
Lets Review:
Mallory gets to baby-sit the newest clients BY HERSELF! Oh happy day! But wait, what's that sound? Something is meowing, y'all. It's a cat! But the Craines don't own a cat. Then what is making that catlike noise? It's a MYSTERY! Except not really because we discover pretty early on in the book that there's a cat in the attic. And surprise, surprise it's the one making all those catty sounds.
Even though it's quite obviously a real live ordinary cat, we have to call Dawn The Ghost Expert to run some tests just to make absolutely sure we're not petting a ghost here. And Whattayaknow, Dawn's test prove that Ghost Cat is in fact NOT a Ghost Cat. Better start thinking of a new name, girls.
They also find some letters in the attic and discover that forever-ago some man lived in their house and he was lonely and he found a cat and it became his best friend and then it died and the man got all depressed and blah, blah.
The subplot, which was really more of the main plot because we heard more about it than the stupid cat mystery, was that Mallory's Uncle Joe came to live with her and her enormous family. According to Mal's Dad, Uncle Joe is totes awesome. He likes to fish and can pull money out of your ears! But we soon find out that Uncle Joe isn't awesome at all. He just sleeps a lot and he isn't very nice or friendly and he refuses to learn any of the 5 million Pike childrens names. It's as if he's old and junk. Then we learn A LESSON. Yes, Uncle Joe is old and junk but he's also in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. But Uncle Joe, the Pike's can't take care of their 19 and counting family AND you. So it's back to the old folks home with you but thanks for stopping by!
SIDENOTE: I'm glad I don't live in Stoneybrook. They are so super judgy. Check this shizz out:
Stoneybrook citizens on...
*The Wealthy
Kristy was unlucky enough to have a father who ran out on her family, but she was lucky to get Watson for a stepfather. He's a millionaire.I mean, who gives a shit if he's a nice, decent human being. He's loaded!
*Race
Just because the Ramseys are black, people were ready to think all kinds of terrible things about them.Welcome to Stoneybrook! Population 584 (and 6 Black People.)
*Female Motorcyclists
I'd never met a woman who rode a motorcycle before. She'd probably be wearing a leather jacket. What if she offered me a beer? I wondered if she had any tattoos.What is one day a rich, black woman came roaring through Stoneybrook on her hog? I guess the residents would collectively shit their pants.
Say Whaaat!?!?
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
The Pike triplets along with their little brother Nicky. And it's not just a line- It's a rap, motherfucker!
We're the rappin' Pikes, and we're here to sayYou're welcome, bloggermuffins. You're very welcome. But why is Jordan the only Pike to get a shout out? I'm sure the other boys are just as "jammin."
We're hip, we're def, we're cool in every way
I'm Byron, I'm Adam, I'm Jordan, I'm Nick
For a real happenin' dude, just take your pick!
I'm a real jammin' dude and the girls agree
There's no cooler guy than Jordan P.
So, hey, don't be jive
Give the Pike high five!
Bonus Shizz!:
Here is a subliminal message straight from the pages of this book, subconsciously urging you to BUY MORE BABY-SITTERS CLUB BOOKS!
It's great having a best friend who loves to read. We're always recommending books to each other, and we have so much fun talking about them. There's something special about reading a great book and then discussing it with someone like you; it makes you appreciate the book- and your friend- in new interesting ways.Now here's the same paragraph but this time lets read between the lines.
It's great having a best friend who loves to read (the Baby-Sitters Club series!) We're always recommending books to each other, (like Mary Anne Saves the Day!) and we have so much fun talking about them (like Claudia and the Bad Joke!) There's something special about reading a great book (like Boy Crazy Stacey!) and discussing it with someone like you; it makes you appreciate the book (Kristy's Great Idea!)- and your friend- in new and interesting ways. (available wherever you buy books... or use this order form!)
Well, I did it!
Yes, I realize that I'm posting these reviews in February but, trust me, I read all four books in January. I'm late posting because it took me so long to write all this baby-sittin' goodness down!
I think from now on though instead of posting all four reviews at once, I'll spread them out so they won't be quite so long. I'll post two reviews at the beginning and two at the end of every month.
So. That's the first Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge.
What do you guys think? Got any suggestions on which throwbacks I should read next?
Comment away in the section below!
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