Episode #18: Frontierland.
Previously on Supernatural...
We were mind-fucked into thinking Ellen and Jo were still alive. And mind-fucked again when we discovered Bobby would've been married to Ellen. Aww. Poor Bobby. Fate went all gangsta on Cass' ass, threatening Sam and Dean if Cass didn't convince Balthy to sink the Titanic. So Balthy resunk the ship, saving Sam and Dean's lives but putting an end, once more, to Ellen and Jo's. And Mama still hasn't resurfaced. Where is that bitch?
There's a noose swinging in the middle of an old cowboy town. There are two dudes with boots and spurs. Looks like we might be in for a duel.
One of the dudes is Dean. And he's a sheriff. So it's Sheriff Dean vs. Some Cowboy. Ready? Draw! Guns are fired.
Gunsmoke title card. Supernatural logo. Showtime!
Anyhooties, that's not really important. Back to the show.
Sam, Dean, and Bobby are all at the Campbell compound.
There's a secret hatch in the floor that leads to the "Campbell family library." The boys and Bobby are going to see if the Campbells had any info on Mama.
Sexy research montage time!
Bobby finds something. It seems that something called ashes of a phoenix can burn a mother!
Well that doesn't sound hard to find. Where do phoenixes hang out these days?
We have no idea what ash of a phoenix means. You know what that means?!?!
More sexy research montage time!!!
Now Dean has found something. It's Samuel Colt's journal!
There is talk of Star Trek 4 cos Dean wants to time travel 150 years ago in order to shoot the phoenix with the Colt.
So who do we call when we need some supernatural help? That's right, boys and girls! Let's call Cass!
So Dean does. But instead of Cass some chick who is very much NOT Cass shows up.
Not Cass: The Chicky tells the boys that Cass is actually very busy, you know, preparing for war and whatnot. Not Cass: The Chicky has got major attitude.
And now Cass is here! Yay! Send that snippy bitch away!
He does! Cass totes dismisses Not Cass: The Chicky.
She does her whole angel peace out.
They tell Cass what they're wanting to do. Cass agrees. Bobby and Sam start loading guns. Cass tells them there's somewhat of a catch: once he sends them back they'll only have 24 hours to do what needs to be done cos the further back he sends them the harder it'll be to retrieve them.
Dean enters the room with a sack of goodies. He's been to a western clothing store so that he and Sam will be able to dress the part of Sexy Cowboys!
The bros load up on gold necklaces (for currency) and guns (for shooting things with.)
Dean is way into the cowboy lingo. Apparently he fancies himself as Clint Eastwood.
Cass does his thing and the boys travel back in time.
They land in a small western town. Sam sets his watch. Then he gets horse shit on his cowboy boots.
Dean and Sam move to the center of town where there's a hanging in progress. Apparently Cowboy Badass killed his own wife and the townsfolk don't take kindly to wife-killin'. They ask if he has any last words. Cowboy Badass says that "they're all gonna burn for this."
Then Cowboy Badass gets hanged? Hung? Whatever. He's swinging by his neck from a rope.
Sam and Dean go to see the sheriff to get some info. Dean tells the sheriff that his name is Clint Eastwood and that Sam is Walker. He's a Texas ranger! Oh, Dean!
They wanna know if the sheriff can point them in the direction of Samuel Colt. The sheriff tells them to try the saloon.
So they mosey over to the saloon. Dean is hoping for hot, flirty saloon girls.
He is disappointed.
The boys go to get information from the barkeep. He tells them he thinks Colt is out building some kind of railroad.
In comes Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes and she's all up on Dean. Dean is really hoping Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes' lips don't get anywhere closer to his own.
Luckily, they're interrupted by the judge who has "a date" with Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes. Eww! They go upstairs.
Judge With Bad Judgment and Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes are in bed getting it on. Suddenly Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes screams.
It's Cowboy Badass that was just hung (hanged?) in the square! He's a ghost now! He touches Judge With Bad Judgment and JWBJ turns into charred bones. Sam and Dean rush up the stairs to check out the situation.
Now here are some commercials.
Ooh. Smallville preview! Lex fucking Luthor is fucking back, y'all!
Now the sheriff has come over to investigate.
Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes is telling them that Cowboy Badass was so a ghost.
But there are footprints. How can a ghost leave footprints?
The boys converse with the sheriff. Why is the sheriff so out of breath? Seriously. He sounds like he needs an inhaler.
We need to round up a posse in order to stop Cowboy Badass.
Sam and Dean go to Cowboy Badass' grave. Dean wants Sam to go find Samuel and get the Colt while he waits around for the posse to show up.
Dean makes a posse joke and is awesome!
So Sam gets on a horse. Sexily. And heads outta town.
Sam gallops across the plains.
The sheriff is outside with his own horse. Preparing for posse work, perhaps?
Suddenly the horse gets spooked. The sheriff sees Cowboy Badass.
Cowboy Badass puts his hands on the sheriff's throat and burns his ass up.
Cut to Cass and Lt. Bossy Britches.
She's acting all douche-y to Cass.
She tries to stab him! Bitch! A fight ensues. Cass stabs her dead.
Angel roadkill wing shadows.
That bitch nicked Cass! *gasp* What does this mean?
Back to Bobby's house. Or are we still at the Campbell compound? i think it's Bobby's.
Anyhoo, Cass appears and is crawling around on the floor of Bobby's kitchen. He smears his blood on Bobby's fridge into some kind of pattern. i can't tell what it says/is. Cass has terrible bloodmanship.
Cass stands up and then passes out. Bobby catches him before he hits the floor and gives us a Classic Bobby "balls!"
Back in the old west, Dean enters the saloon with a new hat inquiring where the hell his posse is. Someone from outside yells that the sheriff is dead.
Dean and the barkeep run out. They see that the sheriff has been reduced to a pile of ashes.
Dean asks the barkeep who the sheriff is now that the old one is, you know, dead.
The barkeep picks up the sheriff's badge from his ashes and pins it on Dean. Dean's sheriff now! He probably just had a cowboy-gasim!
Trailer for Dylan Dog. i kinda wanna see that movie. Is that weird?
Now we're at some shack in the woods. There is a guy at a table. Two more guys walk in and ask if he's Samuel Colt. Their eyes go all demon-y black.
Before they can even make a move, Colt totally wastes these two losers.
Now we're back in town. There's a deputy in a room, packing swiftly.
Dean knocks on his door and opens it. They pull their guns on each other.
Dean shows the deputy his badge. They put their guns away.
Dean figures that Cowboy Badass is going after the three dudes that hung (hanged?) him. He already had his revenge on the Judge With Bad Judgment and the sheriff, which leaves Deputy Dumbass. So Dean wants to use Deputy Dumbass as bait to lure Cowboy Badass to him.
Back at Colt's Shack, Sam knocks on the door. He walks into Colt's house. Colt throws holy water on him, like ya do. Sam tells Colt that he's also a hunter. But not just any hunter. He's a hunter from the year 2011.
Colt wants Sam to prove it.
Sam shows him his cell phone.
Colt believes him and goes back to drinking. Sam tells him about the phoenix. Colt seems wary. Sam tells Colt that he's gonna shoot a phoenix today and shows him the journal.
But Colt tells Sam that he's done with hunting.
Sam says that he needs him. Or just needs Colt to give him the gun.
Sam shows some sexy hunter's knowledge.
Colt doesn't wanna give Sam the gun because it's cursed.
Back at Bobby's, we see the timer. The boys have less than an hour.
Cass wakes up.
Uh oh. Cass is hurt and he doesn't think he can get Sam and Dean outta Frontierland. He says he knows of one thing that might work but it's dangerous. What else is new?
Cass says that he needs to touch Bobby's soul. And if he doesn't touch it "gingerly" then Bobby could explode.
Bobby agrees to be Touched By An Angel. i love Bobby! Bobby is always up for anything.
Dean is at the jail waiting for Sam and the Colt. He's got Deputy Dumbass locked up in a cell.
Cowboy Badass is here.
CB can't get to Deputy Dumbass because Deputy Dumbass is behind bars. Iron ones. And CB can't touch iron.
So while we have some time, CB tells his story. CB is a supernatural something and he was married to a human lady. One night Deputy Dumbass had CB's wife pinned in an alley. CB goes to stop this bullshizz. Deputy Dumbass shoots CB and his wife. The wife dies. CB does not.
Dean tells CB that he knows what he is and so he has to kill him. CB tells him that he can't.
Dean jumps out the window and hightails it. CB follows, shooting.
Sam meets Dean in the alley. He tells him that Colt ain't coming. He hands Dean the gun.
Back at Bobby's, Cass and Bobby are getting ready for some soul-touching.
Back at High Noon, Dean is in town square calling CB out.
Time for a showdown!
Now back to Bobby's. Cass puts his hand through Bobby's gut.
Back to Dean Winchester: Lawman. Dean and CB draw their guns. They're both fast. But Dean is faster. He shoots CB. CB goes up in flames.
Dean blows the smoke from his gun and says "yipeekiyay motherfu..."
Cut to Cass.
Cut to Bobby.
Cut to the timer.
Dean goes to get the ashes from Cowboy Badass' burnt crisp. He slides on the ground with a bottle outstretched and he ends up.....
At Bobby's? Oh nooooooooooo!!! They didn't get the ashes!
Now enjoy these commercials.
Dean tells Cass he's gotta send them back.
Sam tells Dean that Cass looks fried.
Cass says that he'll never do that again.
Just then, there's a knock at the door. Who is it?
Sam goes to open the door. It's some delivery guy. He says he's got a package for Sam that's been sitting in his office forevs and today is the day that he was instructed to deliver it. Sam takes the package without signing for it.
It's from Colt!
It's Sam's phone (which is how he found the address) and a bottle of phoenix ashes! They got 'em! Now we can defeat the Mother of All!
Dean puts his cowboy hat back on.
It's on like donkey kong now, Mama!
Next time on Supernatural...
Looks like Demon City. There's a bloody Cass. Man, he's been taking a lickin' lately.
The boys meet Mama at a diner where she's........ waitressing? Then she turns into Mary Winchester! Oooh! That's cold, Mama!
Y'all, next weeks recap will probably be a little late as i'll be out of town all weekend (please don't rob me while i'm gone!) So you can expect April 29th's Shakedown on the 2nd or 3rd of May.