Monday, May 23, 2011

The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge: Round 5 Part 1 Reviews

It's almost summertime! What better way to celebrate than by taking a road trip to visit our favorite Stoneybrookians! Lets hop in the Junk Bucket and head to Connecticut, y'all!

EvilEva reviews...... The Baby-Sitters Club Special Edition Reader's Request: Logan Bruno, Boy Baby-Sitter by Ann M. Martin.

Circa: 1993.

Dissecting The Cover:
Because you can judge a book by its cover!
*Ooh, this book is a "Reader's Request." Apparently a lot of middle-schoolers wanted to know more about handsomepants Logan Bruno.
*This book is from the early 90s which would explain why Logan seems to be getting his fashion cues from Zack Morris. I mean, shiny white hightop sneakers, a striped Polo-esque shirt, light blue blue jeans? Shouldn't you be out macking on Kelly Kapowski right now?
*Is that one kid wearing Zubaz pants whilst "raising the roof?"
*Um, Logan? You might wanna check on that little girl. I mean, I understand that y'all are enjoying a rousing game of Twister but, to me, her arm looks beyond twisted and verging into broken territory. Unless she's practicing her America's Next Top Model broke-down doll pose. If that's the case then she totally nailed it!
*The tagline reads:
Is Logan too cool for baby-sitting?
Um, unequivocally- NO! No he is not.

Lets Review:
Logan is sick of being teased for totes screwing up last weeks track meet and for being a baby-sitter that also happens to have a penis. So he's semi-stoked when the school's ruffians, The Badd Boyz, take up for him. He starts to hang out with the Boyz but becomes concerned when things start to get a little fishy. Like when kid's lockers are being broken into and their stuff is being stolen.
Then the Badd Boyz find out that Logan knows the man that owns the local music store. And, y'all, they rob that guy! They steal a whole box of Nicky Cash (who is the 90s Stoneybrook equivalent to Justin Bieber) CD's!
Oh noes! And Logan was with them while they did it! Oh noes yet again! And now the Badd Boyz are being, well, bad boys, threatening Logan if he even thinks about ratting them out. When Logan catches wind of the Badd Boyz plan to rob the same music store again, he can't just sit idly by. So Logan goes to the police, they set up a sting operation and catch these evil EiGHTH GRADERS in the act! The Badd Boyz get hauled off to eighth grader prison whatever that is and we learn An Important Lesson: Don't steal and don't join a gang.
But if you're going to steal and the name of your gang has the word bad in it then it would probably behoove you not to filch pussy music unless you want your ass beat by your death metal loving gang leader. Just a suggestion.

Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Logan for his description of the Badd Boyz:
The Badd Boyz. I'm serious. That's what these guys call themselves. They're like the junior version of a high school gang. They like to hang out in the shadows of the school, looking bored. Sometimes they smoke cigarettes, sometimes they work on cars belonging to the older gang members.
Is it just me or does this sound like the lamest gang EVER? I'd be interested to know what the initiation is...
"Alright, listen up newbs. Your first task is to take that there candy from that there baby. Careful. He's a biter."

The Fashion!:
Logan on Claudia's "wild" style:
She can make weird clothes look cool. Once she went to school with a rattle in her hair, like a barrette. Another time she wore bell-bottomed pants exactly like ones I've seen in these embarrassing old photos of my parents in college.
Oh Claudia. You never cease to amaze me with your crazy ass fashion ideas.
Now here's Logan describing the Badd Boyz signature look:
Both D and Remo were wearing T-shirts with cigarette packs rolled up in the sleeves.
So they're either gonna cut a bitch or put on a fabulous production of Grease! It is the word after all.

Bonus Shizz!:
We can join the new ONLINE Baby-Sitters Club! OMFG, the BSC is getting all digital on our asses!

EvilEva reviews...... The Baby-Sitters Club #51: Stacey's Ex-Best Friend by Ann M. Martin.
Circa: 1992.

Dissecting The Cover:
*Ha ha, lets make satellites and molecules out of prunes and pretzels! This is equal parts educational and hilarious!
*Claud is rocking a side-pony, y'all!
*The tagline reads:
Is Stacey's friend Laine super mature or just a super snob?
Well considering that she looks like the irritated teacher that's forced to deal with these kid's prune/pretzel shenanigans even though she's the same age, my vote is for super snob.

Lets Review:
Stacey is so psyched that her New York bestie Laine, is coming to Stoneybrook for a visit. They are going to have sooo much fun! Except when Laine finally arrives she acts like a huge diva-bitch that's too good for sleepovers, Stoneybrook and the BSC! Cos Laine has changed, y'all. She has a BOYFRIEND! And he's 15! And she drinks seltzer now. Seltzer! That's practically vodka! Stacey's not so sure she's down with this new Laine that seems juiced up on Haterade. And Laine makes things even worse when she totally ruins the Valentine's Day dance by being a snobby snot to her date Pete whom we'll never hear about again so you can see why we care so deeply about his hurt feelings. So Stacey does the only logical thing there is to do--- kick girlfriend to the curb. The curb of New York! Where she belongs!
Now Stacey can have fun with her real friends. Hooray! Lets celebrate with a Valentine's party in a barn!

Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Stacey when describing Laine's outfit when they pick her up at the train station:
She was hard to miss, considering she was wearing a jean coat with a fur collar (I sincerely hoped the fur was fake), black capri pants edged in lace, very chic black ankle boots, and on her head, a brilliant red over-sized beret.
Let me get this shit straight, Stace. Claudia can wear A RATTLE as a barrette but a jean jacket with a fur collar if too crazazee for you to comprehend? Perhaps you have been in Stoneybrook too long.

The Fashion!:
This is the "perfect" outfit Stacey wore to pick up Laine:
---a purple shirtwaist top over flowered leggings, my cowboy boots, a purple hair ornament made from shoelaces, and long dangly silver earrings.
OMG, do y'all remember those shoelace hairbows?! Aw. Pour one out for the shoelace hairbows.

Bonus Shizz!:
It's your 500th chance to join The Baby-Sitters Club Fan Club! You get a camera, a photo album, a diary, note cards, stickers, pencils, posters, official BSC newsletters, keepsake shipper, oh and uh Bragging Rights! For the low price of $8.95 (plus $2 shipping and handling.)
Ooh, there's a new ad! It's for G*I*R*L magazine. It's where you can get the scoop on The Baby-Sitters Club, plus you can enjoy articles on handling stress, turning dreams into great careers, making and keeping best friends, and the latest in movies, books, music and sports! 6 issues for only $15!
Goddamnit! This special offer ends July 1, 1996!
I'm 15 years too late. I'm a whole Laine's boyfriend too late. Ugh!

Well, I hope you enjoyed Part 1 of this months nostagia and flashbackery fun. Be sure to check back soon for Part 2 in which I will review some BSC Mysteries!  

No comments:

Post a Comment