EvilEva's Trailer Park Dissects Divergent And Shows Veronica Mars Some LoVe

March 14th!  It's so close I can practically taste it.  And it tastes like... marshmallows!  I'm, of course, talking about the Veronica Mars movie! 
After what feels like forever, V and the gang are FINALLY headed for the big screen!!!  And if Veronica and Logan cute-ing up the cover of Entertainment Weekly wasn't enough for you, I've got even more scoop to keep your inner fangirl sqeeeing and swooning!

First of all, you can now check out the first 2 minutes of the movie!!!  Yeah!  Like, right now!  While you're just sitting around in your jammies!  In the privacy of your own home!  Go ahead!  DO IT!  I'll wait. 



Wasn't that awesome!?!  I know it's basically just a rehash of everything we already know, but who cares?!?!  It's the first moments of the movie, y'all!  It's our first moments back in Neptune since 2007!  That's 7 friggin' Veronica-less years!  We have SOOOOOO much to catch up on!  
And if that wasn't enough, check this:

 

 

It's the cover art of the first Veronica Mars book!  It's called The Thousand Dollar Tan Line and it's written by show creator, Rob Thomas and Jennifer Graham.  You can add this little bit of sass and mystery to your bookshelf March 25th for the somewhat low price of $15.95.

And that's not even all, y'all!  There's also talk of a Veronica Mars spinoff series coming to the CW Seed!  Rob Thomas will be at the helm of the project but so far no word on who will star in it.  I'm hoping for a Piz and Wallace buddy comedy!  Which, if you know me at all, has been my dream since the show went off the air.  But I'd be totally cool with a Mac spinoff too!  Either way, I'll definitely keep you posted.

So speaking of things being close, March 21st isn't that far off either.  But I find it tastes less like marshmallows and more like Dauntless chocolate cake!  ;)
Nice segue, huh?  As if you didn't already know, the movie version of Divergent will be headed to a theater near you March 21st.  And since I was in bloggy exile for quite some time, I completely shirked my duties of posting and reviewing the trailer.  Well, there's no time like the present, right?  
So, here is the official trailer for the Divergent movie. You know, in case you've also been in bloggy exile for the past few months (or just living under a rock.)


   

Ok, now let's discuss the shizz outta this!

Check out the factions, y'all. Look at all those colors! It's like a Benetton ad from the 80s!  Well except for the fact that Benetton would never have their colors all divided like that.  They were all about the unity, people!   

Um, excuse me but your faction is Abnegation. You definitely should tone it down with that makeup, girl.  I mean, how did you even apply that mascara? You can only look in a mirror four months out of the year.

Ok, I've never seen Jai Courtney in anything before but he looks sufficiently douchey enough to pull off Eric's supreme doucheyness.   

Time for simulations!  P.S. your bun is amazing!

Yay!  Maggie Q!  I'm beyond stoked that Nikita is gonna play Tori!

Soooo you wanna be Dauntless, huh?  Well alls ya got to do is jump off this here roof into that there dark hole with no knowledge of what could be down there.  Could be snakes.  Or maybe spiders.  Or maybe nothing.  Hell, maybe it's an endless hole.  Maybe you'll just keep falling forever and ever.
Or maybe there's a net and a hot guy with a number for a name.

Well, hello, Four.  "Welcome to Dauntless," indeed.

And as an introduction to your new faction, here are some knives thrown at your face.   

Ah, the ferris wheel!  I don't know about you, but this is one of the scenes that I'm looking forward to the most.  So don't fuck it up, Summit.

Uh oh.  Things are about to get bad.  REALLY bad.  Like, Dauntless-under-a-simulation bad.  So hide yo transfers, hide yo Dauntless-born cuz they shootin' everybody out here.  

I'm excited for the train jump too!  Weeeeeeee!!!

Oooh, swoony times!  I don't recall things getting quite so steamy in the book though.  But who cares!  You know we're always all for shirtlessness here at Nancy Drew Is My Homegirl headquarters.  

And then there's that bitch Jeanine.  Although in this screen grab, I'm more interested in the guy on the left.  He looks a little like Woody the coroner from Psych, does he not?  Although Woody would NEVER join Jeanine.  He would probably be a part of Amity and enjoy some silly times on that magical bread they've got!  :)       

This scene better not get fucked up either.  In fact, you know, this whole movie is basically just made up of scenes that better not get fucked up.  I guess we'll have to wait and see how Tris and Co. fare. 

But if the 21st feels too far away to you and you want your Divergent now Daddy!, well just check out this week's issue of Entertainment Weekly, Veruca.

And if you're looking for some Divergent swag so you can attend the movie premiere in true fangirl style, Hot Topic's got ya covered.  You can show off your faction devotion with this t-shirt.  Or be a little more subtle with this Dauntless symbol necklace or these faction pins.  Or go more of the badass route with these temporary tattoos.

And after the movie, if you wanna be all weird with your book love, you can get your very own Divergent Barbie dolls.  You can get Tris (whose skin tone is described as "nostalgic") or Four (whose shirt you can remove in order to marvel at his back tattoos. Cos that isn't weird at all.) and reenact your favorite scenes!  (Cos that's also not weird at all.)

Well, that's all the news for now.  Now I'll turn it over to you guys.  Hit me up in the comments section and tell me the exact amount of excited you are for both of these movies!  Which Neptunian are you the most psyched to see again?  What scene in Divergent are you most looking forward to?  Have you already got your premiere day outfits picked out?  And what do you really think of those dolls?  (Gotta admit, they kinda creep me out.)

Welp, gotta jet.  There's a Divergent T that's calling my name.  ;)     

Kisses, marshmallows!