It's Friday night. It's 9 o clock. So sit your Ass-butt down & lets watch some Supernatural!
Episode #3: The Third Man
Previously on Supernatural...
Shifty McShifter eludes the Winchester bros & spirits away to places unknown with Shifty McShifter Jr. Dean realizes that he's no good at that whole family havin' business. So he peaces out Lisa & Ben & rejoins Sammy in the Metallicar Mystery Machine. Now it's back to baddie huntin', boys!
Dude, what's up with your bloody/peely face? Eww, scratch that! Bloody/peely body. & eww, again! That dude just got, like, microwaved! What the what?!?!?
Glass shattering. Supernatural logo. Showtime.
It's sexy time with Dean & Lisa. But wait a sexy second i thought we left Lisa & Co. behind last week. What's with the booty call?
Oh, it's just a dream. To bad for you, Dean.
Ok, now it's sexy time with Sammy! Yes, keep your shirt off & continue doing chin-ups, sit-ups & any other ups you can do!
Ewwwww, Sam! Who is that hooker???
Oh. Apparently she's an actual hooker.
Come on Sam, you're waaaaaay better than that! Hell i'll screw you for free! That sounds so dirty. i'll make sweet sweet lovin' to you! For free! There, that's classier!
Ok, no more of Sam's abs. Damnit! Apparently we now need to move the story along.
Some cop guy hiding in the bushes trying to catch people speeding.
Cop guy is VERY lax at his job.
Creepster in the bushes. Well, looks like cop guys about to get it.
Yeah, now cop guy's got out of control boils. Yuck!
Enough of cop guy & his boily skin.
Ah, my lover in a suit! If he's not shirtless he should really be forced to wear suits. It's a very good look!
Ha! Skidmark & Bubblewrap! That shouldn't be funny. But, damnit Dean, the way you say things sometimes. It's just poetry!
Come on fellas. Ditch your new speedster, Sam. Let's all ride in the Impala together.It's the way it's supposed to be. Plus at this point you're really just wasting gas.
Mmm, sexy Sammy kicking in the door! He's become so badass since he hasn't had Dean around to be badass for him. & i personally like it. i like it a lot!
Questioning some creepy new cop guy.
Why is new cop guy scratching out the faces in all his family photos? That's not something a normal cop guy would do.
"God will be satisfied." What the fuck are you talking about? & why is your head bleeding profusely, cop guy whose name we just learned is Ed?
Aaaaand now Ed's dead.
& locusts are crawling out of his head. That rhymes! & also, Yuck!
Yeah Dean, we should definitely call Cass now.
Dean praying to Castiel. Hilariously!
Yay! Cass is back! But Sam is mad. Seems he's been trying to call Cass 4-evah and Cass has been incommunicado. Not cool Cass.
So Cass doesn't know how Sam got out of hell. The angels of Supernatural seem to be slightly good for nothin'.
The staff of Moses is the culprit. That's why it's so plague-y all of a sudden.
Apparently some "heavenly weapons" got jacked after the apocalypse. That can't be good.
So the father of the "kid without a face" may have done it? What the hell does that mean?
Cass transports the boys to kid without a face's house. Turns out it's not the dad but the younger brother of kid without a face.
An angel gave this kid the staff of Moses?
Oh no!!! Little bro sold his soul to an angel for a piece of the staff. Not even the whole staff. Man, little bro of kid without a face is horrible at negotiations.
So Cass is gonna have to torture little bro with his angel-y ways to find out who bought his soul.
Hey, who is this dude in the suit?
Cass & dude in suit are free... free fallin'! Sorry.
Yay, they demolished Sam's car by falling on it!
Let's go to a commercial now...
Dude in suit has flown the coop.
Raphael wants to fast track the apocalypse. Because it was supposed to happen, the Winchester bros kept it from happening, & in Raphael's mind that ain't what's happening. Hey hey hey!
Hey, Balthazar's got a disco room in his pad. Groovy.
Eww, that dude had a frog hop out of him mouth.
Soooo, Balthazar stole the staff. Um-kay, why?
& he's gonna help Cass.
Oh, so Balthazar is a douchenugget.
What's up with all the dudes in suits?
It's all about knife fights tonight. It's like Supernatural has gone all Outsiders on our asses. Be careful, Soda!
OMG Raphael almost stabbed Cass!
Balthazar just iced or salted or what have you Raphael.
Holy fire! Balthazar, give that little bro his soul back.
Cass released B from the holy fire. But why?
Dean wanted to smoke the hipster while they had the chance.
Now both angels have peaced out. Oh, angels!
Aw, Dean has Ben's Halloween costume in the trunk. He wanted to be a Wendigo this year. How very unique of you, Ben.
Dean's giving Sam the ol what-for about his behavior when Cass was torturing little bro.
Sam claims he's ok. HA! You're ok? No you are not, Sam! You are screwing some dirty hooker! That is the very definition of NOT ok!
Ah damnit! You mean the episode is already over?!?!?
Soon? What the fuck do you mean soon, CW?!?!? When will the next new episode be? There have only been three eps so far, for God's sake!!! How is that an "ok time for a break" moment!?!? i call shenanigans, CW! SHENANIGANS!
Also if you're gonna go all shenanigansy on me then i INSIST on more shirtless Sam! It's only fair.