Sunday, November 7, 2010

Supernatural Shakedown: Season 6 Episode 7 OR Who Will Saaa-e-ave Your Soul

It's Friday night. It's 9 o clock. So sit your Ass-butt down & lets watch some Supernatural!

Episode #7: Family Matters
Previously on Supernatural...
Truth was in the air. Dean got dumped by Lisa. Cass was back. Momentarily. Bobby enjoys watching Tori & Dean. & poor Sammy's soul is missing. Oh. Plus there was that whole crazy cat lady business. -shudders-

Sammy's groggy after getting the shit beaten out of him in the previous episode.
Cass is questioning him. We gots to figure out how Sam got outta hell.
Sam hasn't been sleeping since he returned from hell. 
Cass makes Sammy bite down on a belt. Oh this can't be good. What are you gonna do to my TV boyfriend, Cass?
Oh. He's just gonna push his hand... THROUGH SAM'S STOMACH!!! Ahhh! The things angels have to do in order to find information. Yeah, they don't look um, comfortable. To say the least. My poor Sammy-poo.
Physically he's fine. Uh hell yeah he is Cass! But no soul for Sammy. Boo!
Glass shattering. Supernatural logo. Showtime.
Sam's soul is still in Lucifer's cage. That might present a few problems. The whole "getting it out" thing. It'll be a little trickier now. 
Dean won't untie Sam from his chair. But Sam just busted through the ropes on his own. & looked VERY hot doing so, i might add.
Cass heals Sam's lovely face. Cleaning up all that bloody mess Dean made. Bad Dean. Don't mess with Sam's moneymaker again!
After Cass's questioning, Sam reveals that he has no clue how he got raised. But he knows a place they can start from. The Campbell compound. Lets go have a little chat with Gramps, shall we?
Campbell compound. Ugh. Stupid Campbell cousins are back in this ep. 
Ha! That toolish cousin just walked in & Dean was all "Hello Newman." Oh Dean i heart your quippy ways! & much like you, i HATE that toolish cousin! 
Lets talk to Gramps & see if he knows how his ass got out. 
Gramps draws a blank. Or does he? Yeah, he does but i don't know if he for real is drawing a blank or if he's just pretending to draw a blank to keep up his sneaky charade. That Gramps is a tricky one.
Cass has to give Gramps a "hand" job. Ha! Get it? Cuz he pushes his hand through your gut to get info? Ha! i'm hilarious! 
Turns out, unlike Sam, Gramps hasn't been soul-jacked.
Cass has gotta go........ & he's gone. Those angels can really haul some ass.
Gramps has a lead on the alpha vamp. (Are we still looking for him? i thought we had moved on from that. Apparently alpha vamp may have some info we need. Lets go find him!)
Dean thinks Gramps doesn't trust him. But Gramps is all "no, i just don't know you." 
Dean's gonna let Gramps take the lead on the alpha vamp mission. To earn his trust, you know?
But he still doesn't trust Gramps. Me either, Deano.
Ugh! Stupid cousins again. Sharpening tools & such. So lame!
Dean's breaking into Gramps' locked office. But he's interrupted by toolish cousin. i hate you, toolish cousin!
Toolish cousin predictably acting toolish. Go away you tool so we can snoop on Gramps & find out what his deal is. 
But no. It's time to go. We can't snoop on Gramps. This is your fault, toolish cousin. 
The gang of Campbell cousins load up into various older vehicles.
Going after the alpha vamp. 
Parked a ways away from the vamp lair. Dean & girl cousin i can't stand are paired together to "hang back" & stake stragglers. Bo-Ring! Dean needs to be where the excitement is. But he's gotta prove himself trustworthy. So he stays while gang of Campbell cousins disperse. 
Girl cousin i can't stand gets attacked by a vamp! Dean pushes him & now the vamp is on him. Girl cousin i can't stand hacks his head off. 
Dean hears gunshots. Runs to the house that was in his weirdo flashback daydream thingy 2 episodes back when he got vamped. Evil twin stuff. Remember? But what does it mean? 
Eww. There are a bunch of headless folks in the yard. Vamps. Hopefully.
There's a chick at the window. She screams for Dean. Wait. Do we know her? Is it Lisa? i couldn't tell. 
Damnit! Commercial.

Dean's creeping.
Another flashback. 
Dean spies the gang of Campbell cousins leading the alpha vamp (?) to a car. He's got a bag over his head though so you can't really tell who in the hell it is. 
Dean's gotta haul ass to get back to girl cousin i can't stand. You know, where he's SUPPOSED to be. Naughty Dean.
Gang of Campbell cousins are back. Ooh, Gramps lied about the alpha vamp. & now Sam's lying too. Y'all Dean totally just saw you escorting alpha vamp to one of your assorted vehicles. You are so busted. Stop with the lying already!
Dean's calling Sam out on his lies.
Apparently Gramps kidnaps monsters & other baddies & grills them for information. 
Dean REALLY doesn't trust Gramps. Neither do i, Dean. But what exactly is his deal? We must figure this out.
Dean's getting all harsh on Sam. Sam's giving him sad puppy dog eyes of doom. Aww. Those sad puppy dog eyes of doom may not work on Dean but they are totally working on me. i'm sorry Sammy. Get over here & i'll make it all better. (God! i am such a TV slut!) 
Dean is done. Gramps is too shifty for his taste & Sam's too trusting of Shifty Gramps McShifterPants. Dean....... left? It's not really clear. Surely he wouldn't just leave Sam in Gramps' shifty clutches when they just got the Scooby-Doo gang back together. 
Sam tells Gramps that he wants in on the interrogations of the baddies but Gramps says no. Sam walks to a truck & picks up a phone. 
Oh. Dean didn't leave. He & Sam are working together to figure out shifty Gramps angle. 
Sam is tracking the GPS on one of the cellphones used by some Campbell cousin. They can follow the coordinates & find where those tricky cousins are.
Following the GPS to an abandoned warehouse. Of course.
Dead mans blood on the door. Vamp repellent. We don't care. We're totally going into the creepy abandoned warehouse anyway.
Creeping around creepy abandoned warehouse. Oh shit! Toolish cousin almost busts the bros. But they hide. Take that, toolish cousin!
Now walking down creepy corridors. We found Gramps. He's interrogating the alpha vamp. 
They've got alpha vamp attached to an electric chair type dealy. & they're frying his ass every time he doesn't answer them. But alpha vamp could give a shit. He's being very sarcastic & awesome. i'm kinda liking alpha vamp actually.
Gramps is done with alpha vamp. For the time being. 
Oh! Alpha vamp knows the bros are hiding near, & that they were listening to the convo. He also has repulsively long fingernails. Yuck! He's scratching the arm of the chair with them for some reason. What you up to, alpha vamp?
Pee break!

Sam & Dean come out of hiding. We're gonna question alpha vamp for ourselves.
Alpha vamp knows Dean's name. Says that Dean was his child. For awhile. 
What the F is he doing with his fingernail???
Alpha vamp claims to be the very first vamp. 
AV tells Sam that he smells cold. Now he's talking about where souls go. Apparently non-humans souls go to purgatory. & Gramps is trying to fry the answers of where exactly purgatory is out of AV. Why? Oh. Turns out Gramps has a boss. Wait. What?
"If the old man's Kermit.... Who's hand's up his ass?" Oh Dean! The quippiness continues!
The Winchester bros try to confront Gramps on the whole boss havin' thing.
There's a Campbell/Winchester showdown. Team Winchester!!!! Wooooo! Aw man. Girl cousin i can't stand breaks it up..... with a gun!
While the Campbell/Winchesters were showdowning the AV took that opportunity to escape. In large part to doofus Campbell cousin. Way to go doofus Campbell cousin! P.S. how many fucking Campbell cousins are there? it seems like every week at least 3 new ones arrive to make my Supernatural viewing life miserable.
Now its time for another commercial.

Not much dead mans blood left. Gramps wants to get the AV back & put him back in the cage. (Yeah cuz that worked out so good for you the first time.) But Dean's all Oh hells no! Kill AV!
Now searching the warehouse for AV. 
There he is! Wait a sec. Did AV just kill toolish cousin? If so, i suddenly like AV even more! 
AV pushes Gramps down. Oh no! Now he's got Sam by the neck! He's gonna bite Sammy! 
Toolish cousin is back & grabs AV. But toolish cousins eyes are all black! What the what! All the Campbell cousins & AV have disappeared! WHAT IN THE HELL?!?!?
The only Campbells left are Gramps & girl cousin i can't stand. Well at least toolish cousin is dead or not around anymore or..... whatever the fuck he is. i hate toolish cousin.
Holy crap! Now Crowley's here!
OMG! Turns out Gramps is Crowley's bitch. He wants to know where purgatory is. & he is the one that brought Gramps & Sam back. 
He is the new king of hell, after all.
Ponder that during this commercial break.

Oh yeah, now that we FINALLY have some answers, Gramps is all lets go. Girl cousin i can't stand is pissed at Gramps for being a big fat lying liarface! 
Seems everyone is disappointed in Gramps for bitchin' it up for a demon. 
Gramps says put a bullet in my head or let me go. 
Sam cocks his gun. Sexily.
But Dean tells him not to shoot. He tells Gramps to hit the skids. 
Gramps leaves.
Dean & Sam are gonna have to work for Crowley now in order to get Sammy's soul back. But they're gonna do it..... together! 

Next time on Supernatural...
i don't really know what's gonna happen next week. The bros are working for Crowley. He'll give Sam his soul back. Eventually. Dean still doesn't trust Sam but they're still gonna work together. & apparently Dean's gonna be a sniper of some sort. HUH?

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