Episode #17: My Heart Will Go On.
Previously on Supernatural...
Mama made a reappearance. Dean shot Annoying Girl Cousin under the influence of ear-wormery. Sam shot Gramps in the face thinking Gramps was infected with ear-worm. Bobby stabbed Rufus but the ear-worm made him do it. Bobby nearly killed Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean nearly killed Bobby. Annoying Girl Cousin is dead. Gramps is dead. Rufus is dead. And Bobby has a sad.
Hey everybody! It's Some Dude! And he's doing garage-type things in his garage of, lets face it, no return. He slips on a wayward skateboard and nearly slices his eyeball right out of its socket courtesy of a pair a gardening shears. But *wipes sweat from brow* eyeballic disaster has been averted.
But, uh oh, somehow ping pong balls have been knocked onto the floor. This is not gonna end well for Some Dude. Yep. And down he goes, slipping on the ping pong balls. He falls to the floor and ICK! is decapitated by his own garage door. Guess he shouldn't have tried to keep it open with a mere rake handle. So it's kinda like Final Destination tonight where one thing sets off something else and so on and so on until your head gets chopped off by your own garage door.
Glass shattering. Supernatural logo. Showtime!
It's Bobby! He's drinking and reading.
Sam and Dean are concerned for Bobby's well being. So they play rock, paper, scissors to see who should break the awkward silence and talk to him first.
Bobby sees them and asks them politely to stop fucking around.
The bros think that Bobby should take some time to himself and properly mourn the lose of Rufus.
Bobby thinks the boys should stop acting all Dr. Phil-y and shut their pieholes so that he can concentrate on this whole Mama bidness.
Sam and Dean retire to the kitchen to talk about Bobby in private. Sam tells Dean that there's a job in Pennsylvania. Three people have been killed. They're all blood relatives. So it may be that this family is haunted.
Bobby tells the boys to get out of his house, they're driving him nuts. So the boys choose to go to Pennsylvania to check this shizz out.
They go out to Bobby's garage and get into some souped up non-Impala that has orange stripes down the center of it. Wait. What? Where is the Impala? Did something happen to it before the hellatus started that i'm not remembering? Am i going crazy? Why are they in this douchemobile? What the hell!?!?
Anyhoo, Dean and Sammy drive off.
What the hell times two!!! What is Ellen doing back? Yes. Ellen is back! She's standing over the sink in Bobby's kitchen! She and Bobby are bantering back and forth! She says that she's been out hunting with Jo! JO!?!?! What?
WHAT?!?!?! Bobby and Ellen are married?!?!? What the fuck is going on here?
My mind is now sufficiently blown so lets go see what the boys are doing.
They're walking around with flashlights inside the Garage of No Return looking for clues.
Sam finds one. There's some kind of gold string on the floor. What could that mean?
The bros decide to split up. Sam is gonna check the family records and Dean is gonna pay a visit to the next of ken aka the next to die.
Dean is at some shmucky looking law office, talking with some douche-y lawyer. Dean tells him that he's from the Department of Genealogy and he wants to study the Russo family. He asks Douche Lawyer Russo all these crazy questions trying to find out if his family might be cursed. In doing so, Dean is awesome.
Douche Lawyer Russo acts like a dick. Dean tells him that his life is in danger. Douche Lawyer Russo tells Dean to get the hell outta his office.
We see Sam and Dean leaving their appointed buildings in their Suits of Sexiness. *fangirl sigh*
Dean calls Sam and asks if he found out anything. Sam tells him that the family seems pretty picket-fence-y.
Now we see a lady at a travel agency. She's talking on the phone about something we don't care about as she is now taking up what could have been prime Suits of Sexiness time.
All of the sudden the scene pauses. Some chippy comes in and steals Travel Agent Lady's keys and puts them under the copier. Then she leaves.
The scene plays and Travel Agent Lady bends down to pick up her keys. Havoc happens all over the place! Travel Agent Lady gets her scarf stuck in the copier and she chokes to death.
The chippy comes back and opens a book. A gold thread from a bookmark falls to the floor. The chippy checks a name off of a list in the book.
Flashlight sneakiness. This time we're at the travel agency. Turns out, Travel Agent Lady wasn't related to the Russo's. Dean spies another golden thread.
Perplexed, Dean calls Ellen. Dean should really be perplexed why now, all of a sudden, he can call Ellen! She's supposed to be dead, y'all.
Ellen tells him that there have been 75 cases nationwide. Jo is apparently working a similar case in California. Why is no one but me surprised that Jo and Ellen aren't dead? What is going on?
Ellen says that she and Bobby have combed through all the dead peeps family histories and discovered that there is only one connection. Their ancestors all came over on the same boat. The Titanic. Ever heard of it? No. NO? What?
Sam researches (sexily of course) the Titanic. Apparently it didn't sink, y'all.
He does find out a rather interesting tidbit. The first mate's name was I.P. Freeley. So they look at the pic of the ships crew and see that first mate I.P. Freeley is none other than that sneaky Balthazar!
So they summon Balthy and ask him what in the deuce is going on here.
Balthazar tells them that the Titanic was meant to sink but he saved it.
Dean asks why Balthy decided to save it since that's really not his style.
Balthy tells them that he hated the movie. And they're all "What movie?" And Balthy's all "Exactly."
Balth also hated that Celine Dion song. The boys are all "Who's Celine Dion."
Balthy says "Just some lounge singer in Quebec."
But enough of that hilarity, lets get back to the bidness at hand.
So Balthy unsunk a ship and now he's created a butterfly effect. A snappy Ashton Kutcher dig is obviously made.
Now everything is different and thus not the way it was supposed to be. The boys don't even own the Impala anymore. (Thank you, Balthy, i was wondering what the fuck was up with the douchemobile. Question answered.)
And now since Balthy has fucked everything up, all of the descendants of the people aboard the Titanic (whom really shouldn't even exist) are being killed off.
Balthy is not really great at, you know, caring. So he doesn't. Then he makes a funny about Cass and leaves.
The bros call Bobby and tell him what's up. Bobby says that the only person he could think of that could be responsible for the deaths would be Fate.
The boys wanna know what would be the easiest way then to get rid of this Fate person.
Bobby tells them that the easiest thing they could do would be to just ask Balthy to resink the ship.
Dean says no. Because if the boat sinks then Ellen and Jo will go back to being dead.
Bobby has a sad about that since he's now married to Ellen. He tells Sam and Dean to make sure to keep the angels from sinking that ship.
So Dean and Sam wonder how they are supposed to save 50,000 people when they don't even know who they are or where they're at. Dean says they know at least one of the people that need saving.
They go back to Douche Lawyer Russo's office. The boys are calling to him as he walks down the street on his cell. He almost gets run over but the boys pull him out of the way just in time. Douche Lawyer Russo acts like a huge dick as opposed to someone who was just saved by these two gorgeous men and he walks out in the road and gets hit by a bus. That asshole kinda deserved it, really.
It's commercial time again, my friends.
It seems Douche Lawyer Russo got smeared by a bus that had his own law ad on the back of it. Dean starts to make a funny. Sam tells him that it is perhaps too soon for that as he just got run down like six seconds ago.
Sam sees the chippy in the window of some office. Dean asks what she looked like. Sam says kinda like a librarian. Dean says your kind of librarian or my kind of librarian. Sam says well she had clothes on if that's what Dean means.
The boys stop their brotherly banter and head across the street to find the chippy. They go into some store to see where the chippy aka Fate is hiding.
More flashlights of intrigue.
The clock on the wall stops.
Fate Chippy is in some kind of kitchen turning all the burners of the stove on.
The clock starts again.
Flashlights of intrigue go out. So Dean breaks out his lighter. No Dean!!!
He's clicking it on and opening the door to the kitchen and KA-BLOOEY! But not.
Cass saved the Winchesters at the last second.
He tells them that Fate is really cheesed off at them for that whole "stopping the apocalypse" thing. Because in doing that they have rendered Fate useless.
The boys wanna know what they need to do. Cass tells them to kill Fate.
Sam and Dean are all "Whaaaaaaaa?!?!?" How are they supposed to do that?
Cass tells them to "tempt Fate."
Meanwhile, back at Bobby and Ellen's Temporary Love Shack, the pair are talking about this Fate thing. Ellen thinks the easiest way to make things right would be to sink the ship but Bobby's all Nuh-uh cos he knows that Ellen and Jo will be kaput if that happens.
Bobby tells Ellen that if the ship sinks then she and Jo will be dead. He tells her that the boys aren't gonna sink the Titanic. The two share a touching, drinky moment.
Back to the Winchesters. They're trying to tempt Fate by just walking around town. But now there are skateboarders and huge, barking dogs and dudes juggling knives in the boy's path and it's making them nervous and paranoid.
Oh no. Now the dudes are juggling flaming thingies. Dean hurries through, followed by Sam. They continue walking down the street "tempting Fate."
They pass by a guy with a nail gun. Dean makes a funny saying "who do you have to kill to get killed around here." Hee hee!
Dean and Sam think that maybe Cass was wrong about Fate wanting them dead.
Just then, some big machine starts to fall off the roof, heading straight for the boys!
Dammit! Time for another commercial.
Sam and Dean are frozen staring up at the machine thing. Enter Cass. Thank God!
Now Fate is pissed at Cass for ruining all her work. She doesn't know what to do next. She went to Heaven and no one would even talk to her.
Fate thinks that Cass is behind Balthy unsinking the Titanic because of the whole Heaven war and whatnot.
She tells Cass that if he doesn't make things right and sink the boat then she'll kill Sam and Dean.
Fate tells Cass that she has two sisters and if anything were to happen to her, then they would come after Sam and Dean and straight up kill them for revenge.
Cass tells Balth to stop cos he's right behind Fate about to kill her. Fate turns around and sees him. Balthazar looks like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Oh Balthy! You so crazy!
The three make a deal to go back and sink the Titanic.
The big machine thing falls.
Last commercial of the night.
Sam and Dean are asleep in the Impala. My Heart Will Go On is playing on the radio. (this is why i love you, Supernatural!)
They wake up. They're back in Bobby's garage.
Sam tells Dean that he had a really weird dream. Dean says there's no way Sam's dream was weirder than his.
They each tell what their dream was about and find out they dreamed the same thing.
Cass pops up. He tells them that it wasn't a dream. He tells them that he made Balthy go back and sink the Titanic so that Dean and Sam could live.
Dean asks about Jo and Ellen.
Cass tells them that he's sorry.
No one will remember this except Sam and Dean because Cass wanted them to remember it.
Dean jokes that Balthy needs this TV privileges revoked for causing so much shizz simply because he didn't like a chick flick.
Sam and Dean go inside and find Bobby sleeping like an angel. (no pun intended, Cass.)
They feel bad for Bobby for not getting to marry Ellen, not getting to remember any of what went down and still feeling guilty about Rufus.
Dean turns off the lamp and we see the picture on the side table that was of Bobby and Ellen is now just a pic of Bobby. Aww. Poor Bobby. Wonder who took the picture.
Next time on Supernatural...
We'll be time traveling to the old west. To tell you the truth, nothing in the Supernatural universe surprises me anymore. Time travel? Sure. Jo and Ellen are alive now? Of course, why not? Sam and Dean decide to adopt a poodle and name him Sir Fluffybottom the Third? Completely plausible. Aw. Now i kinda want them to adopt a puppy! ;)