Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Supernatural Shakedown: Season 6 Episode 19 OR How I Ganked Your Mother

It's Friday night. It's 9 o clock. So sit your Ass-butt down and lets watch some Supernatural!

Episode #19: Mommy Dearest.
Previously on Supernatural...
Two words. Sexy. Cowboys! The boys traveled back to the old west (hence the sexy cowboys) in order to track down the ashes of a phoenix which is what they need to get rid of Mama. Cass was drained from sending the boys to the past and from getting stabbed by Lt. Angel Bitch so he had to fondle Bobby's soul to get them back. But Sam and Dean came up empty on the ashes. Oh noes!!! But never fear, Sam got a package from The Samuel Colt. In it? Bottled phoenix ashes! Now lets go get Mama!

Two dudes are walking through a parking lot outside of a bar. Here's Mama.
Dude 1 tries a lame come-on. Mama touches his cheek. A weird look comes over Dude 1's face. He thinks that Mama likes him. i think Dude 1 is totes screwed. But, hey, i've got more info than he does.
Mama enters the bar, locks the doors and breaks off the door handles.
Some guy, we'll call him Guy 1, is sitting at a table with his friend and asks Mama if she's ok as she appears to be bleeding from her side.
Mama kisses Guy 1. His friend looks uncomfortable. Vein-y junk spreads on the side of Guy 1's face and his head slumps forward.
Friend of Guy 1 is all what the hell.
Mama tells Friend of Guy 1 that Guy 1 has just been given a gift.
She touches a girl on the cheek and the same vein-y junk spreads on her face.
Guy 1 looks like he's convulsing.
Mama touches another girls cheek.
Guy 1 attacks his own friend. What a dick.
Chick 1 attacks a random guy.
Chick 2 throws a dude on the pool table.
People start running for the doors but Mama ripped the handles off, y'all!
Chick 2 is going at it on Pool Table Dude's neck.
Havoc, of course, ensues.
Mama grabs herself a drink and a front row seat to the mayhem. She looks pretty pleased with herself.
Glass shattering. Supernatural logo. Showtime!

The bottle of phoenix ashes is empty. Dean is putting the last of it into shotgun shells.
He's got 5 bullets in total. Enough to stop Mama? We'll have to wait and see.
Seems Deano had a mishap and some of the ash got on his skin. Now he's concerned cos the ash is supposed to burn the bejesus out of Mama and it hasn't effected Dean at all.
Bobby says according to the lore it's supposed to work.
Sam suggests that maybe it's like iron or silver. Bad for baddies but fine for regular ol' humans.
Dean says that none of it will matter if they can't find Mama.
So Bobby tells Dean to give Cass a call.
Dean makes a funny about Cass living in his ass and then Cass appears behind Dean as if from his ass. Ha!
Cass says that Mama, who we'll now refer to as Eve as that is her name, is hidden even from him. She's hidden from all angels.
So Sam suggests they get themselves a Friendly Monster. A technical baddie that might work with them for the greater good. Perhaps a Friendly Monster would know where to find Eve.
Cass goes off to find a Friendly Monster.
Sexy waiting game montage!
Finally Cass comes back with Lenore. Y'all remember Lenore? She's our friendly neighborhood vamp.
Lenore seems spooked. The boys try to sooth her frazzled nerves. They tell her they wanna talk about Eve.
Lenore gets all scoff-y and tells them she wants to stay away from Eve.
Her nest of nice vamps is gone. They were lured away by Eve's voice which is always in their heads like a bad song. Lenore has been hiding out in a basement.
Dean wants to know if Lenore knows where Eve is.
Well apparently Eve can see through faces or something and she could very well be listening to this convo right now. So our element of surprise has been shot to hell. (No pun intended.)
Sam tries to convince Lenore to tell them Eve's coordinates cos he knows that she still gives a shit about humanity and junk so can she please just help them already. 
Lenore tells them that Eve is in Grants Pass Oregon and that she knows they're coming.
In exchange for this info, Lenore would like for the boys to kill her. Eve's pull is too strong and she won't be able to fight it much longer and she doesn't want to turn into an asshole. 
But the boys don't wanna kill her. She's a good vamp. She deserves to live. 
Cass puts his hand on the back of her skull and kills the fuck out of her. 
Cass! What the hell dude?!?!
He thinks they were wasting time, you know, caring about Lenore!, now that they know where to find Eve.
So Cass teleports the boys and Bobby to Grants Pass.
The town looks relatively normal. Bobby needs a computer to get all research-y.
They go to a diner.
Bobby is cheesed off about having to work on an iPad instead of an actual computer.
Cass goes to teleport out of the diner to have a looksie around town but he can't. He's being blocked. Cass is powerless.
Dean quips that without his powers Cass is just a baby in a trench coat. Cass has a sad and Sam tells Dean that he hurt Cass's feelings.
Meanwhile, Bobby thinks he might have found something.
A call went out to the C.D.C. from a doctor in town. He called in reference to a patient. It's Dude 1 from the bar parking lot! His name is Ed.
Dean and Cass go over to the doctor's office to look for clues. There's a lady locking up the doors and she tells them that the doctor is out.
Dean tries to break into the office and notices blood on the floor. He opens the shed door and finds a dead body. It's Ed!
Sam and Bobby are at the doctor's house. Bobby has somehow procured a pic of the doc with his wife and two sons. A sheriff stops them out front. They flash their FBI badges. It seems that the good doctor is missing.
Bobby puts the small town sheriff in his place.
Sam and Bobby split.
We're apparently doing the old car shuffle.
Sam and Bobby meet up with Dean and Cass at what appears to be a frat house, perhaps. They plan on talking to some of Ed's friends.
But Cass sees Ed drawing the curtains. We might be dealing with a shifter.
Dean and Sam kick in the door. They find a bunch of bloody and dead (?) Eds. WHAAA???
Lets try to wrap our heads around this development while suffering through these commercials.

One of the Eds is stirring.
But he's not Ed. He's the dude that was with Ed at the bar. But now he looks like Ed. But he's still Marshall.
Marshall took Ed to the doctor and now they're all sick. No shit Sherlock.
He tells them that they went to a bar and Ed met a girl.
Then Marshall kicks the bucket.
Bobby thinks this looks less like shifters and more like some kind of infection.
We need more info. Lets hit the bar.
At the bar. There are a bunch of bloody, dead people in here.
Dean opens one girl's mouth and finds that she's a vamp. But she's got spikes in her hands too so she's also a wraith. Some kind of yucky hybrid. 
Bobby says that since Dean discovered it, he gets to name it. 
Dean wants to name them Jefferson Starships. Because they're horrible and hard to kill. 
The Scooby Gang is perplexed by these Jefferson Starships.
The cops enter and catch the gang in this awkward sitch. 
Dean hides behind the bar.
Sam, Cass and Bobby get cuffed and taken in. 
At the police station. Sam notices a demon eye flare on his cop so he head butts him and tells Cass and Bobby that the cops are Jefferson Starships. Bobby and Sam start kicking ass.
Dean comes in and slices one of the cops head in half. Cass slices another. 
Dean goes to butter another but Sam stops him.
So Sheriff Douchehead is brought in for questioning.
Bobby wants to know what the frig these things are and how Eve is involved. There's a loud banging noise. Dean and Sam go to check it out. 
Corridors of Doom. There is blood smeared on a wall.
The bros find the doctors kids bound and gagged in a jail cell. 
The younger bro won't talk. Dean tells the older bro that they need to find out if they are who they say they are and they will through a series of tests. 
Back to the interrogation. Bobby slices Sheriff Douchehead's cheek with a knife. Sheriff Douchehead just laughs. 
Sam and Dean enter with the new bros. They ask new bros if they heard the cops talk about Eve. Older Bro says no but that they told them they were gonna be food. 
Dean asks if they've got any other kinfolk they could stay with. Yes. They've got an uncle that doesn't live far from here. Dean wants to take the bros to said uncle's. 
Cass wants Dean to forget about the brothers and help with the Eve-finding. Dean tells Cass that he's tired of this whole "greater purpose" bullshizz and right now he's gonna help these two kids.
Dean, Sam and the bros leave.
Cass is not pleased.
Sam and Dean take the boys to their uncle's house. Aww. Older Bro is being all protective of Younger Bro.
Back to Bobby and Cass. Cass is acting kinda douche-y. He thinks it was a bad idea to let Sam and Dean go. Bobby says they still need Eve's coordinates and suggests they go "poke this pig til he squeals." i love Bobby. He's so folksy!
At uncle's house. Hugs all around. Sam and Dean leave.
Back at the never ending interrogation. Sheriff Douchehead tells Bobby and Cass that Eve can see them right now. Cass tells Bobby to give him 5 minutes with the sheriff. Bobby reminds Cass that he's pretty zapped right now but Cass doesn't care.
Bobby leaves and waits out in the hall. 
Sheriff Douchehead screams. Cass walks out wiping blood off his hands. 
Eve's at 25 Buckley Street. Tell Sam and Dean to come back and lets get this bitch. 
Bobby looks a little skeeved out by Cass's badassery.
Commercial time. 

Sam and Dean are back at the station. Sheriff Douchehead is a bloody ass mess.
It's time to go get Mama. Dean passes out the ash bullets.
Turns out 25 Buckley Street is the same diner they were at when they first teleported to Grants Pass.
Here's the plan: Dean and Sam are going in and Bobby and Cass are going to be the back-up.
Sam and Dean enter the diner. Who's human? Who's Mama? Who's a monster?
Sam uses his phone to check out the peeps and discovers that they're all Starships.
Eve delivers them a plate of food. Shit's about to get real, y'all.
Eve's goons close all the blinds and take Sam and Dean's guns.
She tells the bros that she's not here to fight.
Mama was fine with the natural order. Her kids turned a few humans. Hunters killed a few of her kids. That she's fine with. She is pissed however that her kids are being tortured and killed. Even her firstborns. So she's been pushed into wreaking havoc cos a mother always defends her children.
Then Eve straight up turns into Mary Winchester!
Dean tells her if she's gonna kill them then just kill them.
But oh no Deano, Mama doesn't wanna kill you. She wants to use you. To kill Crowley.
The boys are all WHAAAAA?!?!? He's already dead.
Mama's all "Bullshizz! He's alive." She's seen his face through her children's eyes that he's been busy killing.
Eve says Crowley wants the souls. Souls= power.
Eve doesn't appreciate Crowley killing her babies. So she's gonna get back at him.
She could turn EVERYBODY.
Dean's all "um that could take a while." 
But that's exactly what Eve has been doing here. She's creating the perfect beast.
But it hasn't gone smoothly as they are starting to implode all over town.
Eve considers those the failures. But she finally got it right. Sam and Dean were the final test. It had to be able to slip past hunters undetected. 
Holyshizz! It's Younger Bro! 
Back at uncle's. Uncle goes to check on the boys. Older Bro is on the floor with a big chunk out of his neck. There's Younger Bro with blood all over his mouth. And there's Older Bro now standing up. Using fast baddie speed they pounce on uncle. 
Time for more commercials.

Sam and Dean are shocked and appalled. 
Eve wants to talk. She has an offer for the boys. If they find Crowley, bring him to her then she'll let them live.
Dean says pass.
Eve's all "you don't have another option cos i totally hijacked your Plan B."
Enter Mama's goons with Bobby and Cass.
Eve makes a jab at Cass. 
She tells the boys that if they work with her then as a bonus she won't kill their friends.
Dean tells Eve that they don't work with demons so if she wants to kill them then she needs to kill them already.
Eve says she could just turn them and they'll do whatever she wants them to anyway.
Dean still says no.
Mama uses her demonic quickness and is behind Dean and roughly grabs his shoulder.
Sam stands to defend Dean and is apprehended by a goon.
Dean tells Mama to bite him. And she does!!!!
Then Eve starts coughing. Dean drank one of the shells with some whiskey so the ashes would be in his system. 
Eve turns from Mary back to her original self and starts bleeding and oozing sludge. She falls on the floor and dies.
Her goons go crazeballs and attack.
Cass tells the boys to shut their eyes. There's a bright flash through the windows of the diner. All the goons are down. 
Dean's bleeding and tells Cass that he thinks Mama might have turned him into a Starship and can he please cure him.
Cass touches Dean and cures him.
Dean tells Cass about Younger Bro. They need to go get him.
They teleport to uncle's house. Uncle is on the floor dead.
Dean is worried that the bros have turned half the town by now.
Bobby opens a door and finds the bros inside dead. Someone already ganked the bros. 
Sam sees some kind of powder on the floor. He slides his finger through it. i think it's sulfur. 
It was demons that killed the boys. Wait. What?!?!?
More commercials.

Dean thinks maybe Eve was telling the truth about Crowley. 
Cass doesn't understand. He burned Crowley's bones himself. He goes to check on things. Cass out.
Bobby is kinda suspicious. He says that it's not like Cass to make mistakes like that. Unless maybe he meant to. 
Dean's all "but it's Cass."
Sam is on the fence. 
Back at the diner. Cass is standing over Eve's body. 
And there's Crowley!!! 
Crowley says this is getting ridiculous and how many times is he (Crowley) gonna have to clean up his (Cass's) messes.

Next time on Supernatural...
Crowley's back. Cass goes batshit. What is going on? i really hope Cass isn't turning into a baddie. (Although that would be a hell of a twist!) We've only got 3 episodes left until the season finale, y'all. How's it all gonna end?

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