Episode #6: Slash Fiction.
Previously on Supernatural...
Dean still hasn't told Sam about killing Amy and the tension it's creating is starting to get to the boys. It's still Leviathans Gone Wild. But because of a helpful witch who looks suspiciously like Spike from Buffy, the boys are now in possession of a stunned Stalker Leviathan. They're taking him back to Bobby to see if we can figure out once and for all how to kill these things.
Now...
Bank! Sam and Dean are about to do some banking apparently. Dean goes up to the teller while Sam locks the door. What the what?!?!
Dean pulls a gun on the teller. Sam has a gun too and they both start shooting up the bank.
Ok so it appears that Dean and Sam are robbing this bank. i'll say it again, what the what?!?!
They shove the bank patrons inside the vault. Uh oh. This is the moment when EvilEva would be soiling her Underoos. Sam and Dean look right into the security camera and then start shooting everyone in the vault. WHAT THE WHAT?!?!
Exploding black goo. Supernatural logo. Showtime!
Casa de Rufus! Bobby injects Stalker Leviathan or Chet as he's actually named, with something that has no effect on him.
Bobby's tried all the "greatest hits" for getting rid of baddies but so far none of them has worked. Dean says they need to figure it out soon or they'll have to drop a car on Chet like they did Car Garage Guy several episodes back. Chet informs them that Car Garage Guy walked away from that whole car being dropped on him thing and that he's fine now.
The boys are surprised at this. Chet is a dick.
Sam asks Chet how he got their aliases. Chet says he got them via Cass. The leviathan got all the info Cass had stored in his nugget when they overtook his body. *sniff* *pour one out*
Bobby asks Chet why he's telling them all his bidness. Chet informs the guys that he's not scared of them because they can't stop him. He tells them that he's the least of their concerns and that they should check out the news.
Sam, Dean and Bobby go to check out the news. Uh oh. There's a manhunt for Dean and Sam. Dean wants to know how the leviathan are able to look just like them. Chet yells up from the basement that it's courtesy of their hair taken from motel shower drains. See this is why i could never be a baddie (despite my first name being Evil.) i'm kind of a germophobe so this homegirl would so not be trolling shower drains to turn into someone else. i'd just have to be myself and hope for the best.
Anyhoosies, seems the leviathan are planning on making the Winchesters the most wanted men in America. Mission accomplished, am i right? ;)
Bobby thinks the boys should lay low since everyone knows what they look like and will be on the lookout for them. But Dean wants to go out and hunt the Evil Winchesters down. And Sam agrees with Dean.
Bobby thinks they're being stupid. But he tells them to go see a guy named Frank who is evidently a jackass that owes Bobby a favor. So the boys go to track Jackass Frank down while Bobby continues to put the squeeze on Chet.
Impala! The bros drive up to a gas station. Dean pumps while Sam goes for snackage. The cashier acts shifty. He goes to the back room to look for protein bars that Sam asked for. Sam sees that the cashier was watching them on the news and is probably calling the cops. Sam ditches the Bing Bongs, rushes outta the store and he and Dean haul ass outta there.
New bank! Two FBI agents pull up to the scene. Huh, one of the agents is actually kinda cute. He looks sorta like Ryan Gosling. Anyway, Ryan Gosling Lite gets a text. It's Winchester information. The FBI leaves.
Impala/Backwoods! The boys pull up to a dump. Not an actual dump but a shitty house dump. They open the door and call out to Frank but get no reply.
Suddenly a lamp turns on. Frank is sitting in a chair, pointing a gun at the Winchesters. And Frank's pretty creepy, y'all.
Commercial time.
Frank recognizes Sam and Dean from the news. Sam tells him they're not the guys from the news. Frank acts kinda crazy. Then he makes a funny. Then he gets upset cos the bros tell him Bobby sent them. Turns out Bobby saved Frank's life at some point. Frank's not to jazzed about owing him one. But he agrees to help Sam and Dean.
Frank shreds their fake IDs and such. And talks some more crazy. Dean tells Frank that they wanna be off the grid but not completely off the board. Frank tells them they'll need new aliases. They'll need to use cash only. And they need to change their phones frequently.
Then Frank breaks Sam's laptop into a million pieces. But he hands him a new one and informs the boys that they owe him $5000. He takes Dean's pic for his new fake ID.
Casa de Rufus! Bobby shoots Chet. Nothing happens. Chet acts like a dick yet again. He starts talking shit. So Bobby grabs a sword and cuts Chet's head clean off. Bobby's very pleased with these results.
Frank's! He hands the boys their new identities and a map which he's marked with the locations of where their evil twins have already been. It seems the Evil Winchesters are hitting places at random. There doesn't seem to be any kind of pattern. He tells Sam and Dean to ditch the Impala cos their evil twins are using the same ride. This is so not cool with Dean.
Casa de Rufus! There's a knock on the door. Bobby gets his gun. But it's only Sheriff Suite Life. And she brought beer! Bobby invites her in but informs her that he's got a leviathan in the basement. Sheriff Suite Life came over to thank Bobby. She offers to cook for him or maybe organize his house as a thank you for saving her from Dr. Salt N Pepper Sexypants Organ-Eater M.D. Bobby's fine with this thank you. Ooh, y'all are there sexytimes on the horizon for Bobby?!
Bobby goes to the basement to check on Chet. And damnit! His head's grown back. Chet asks Bobby if he really thought it would be that easy. To which Bobby replies, "no but it's a start." And he chops Chet's head off again!
Impala's poor substitute! There's a little yellow unicorn hanging from the rear view mirror! Dean cuts it down and chucks it in the backseat. Dean is upset about being forced to ride around in a unicorn-bedeck mobile. Sam suggests they play some tunes to ease Dean's pain.
"All Out Of Love" starts playing. Dean hilariously lip syncs to it.
Sam tries to find some kind of pattern on the map. Past jobs montage! The evil twins are hitting towns Sam and Dean worked jobs in in order from when Sam joined Dean back in season 1 episode 1. The bros think the evil Winchestres want the real Winchesters to find them. Sam says St. Louis should be next. Dean is jazzed about returning to Connor's diner for a burger.
Connor's Diner! Evil Dean eats a burger while complaining about Dean's eating habits. Evil Sam isn't too thrilled being Sam and eating a salad either. The evil twins are pretty hilarious.
Evil Dean tells some kid to turn on his camera phone. Sam and Dean pull out their guns and threaten everyone in the diner.
More commercials.
Impala's poor substitute! Bobby calls the boys to tell them that chopping off the leviathans heads won't kill them but it will slow them down. So that's something. The boys overhear Sheriff Suite Life in the background and razz Bobby a little about it. Bobby tells them that their evil twins have already hit St. Louis. So the real Winchesters are off to their next location, somewhere in Iowa.
Connor's Diner! The FBI strolls in. Everyone in the diner was killed. A police officer shows them the footage from the phone. On it Evil Dean and Evil Sam tell the camera that they're headed to Iowa next. Oh noes! The FBI heads out.
Casa de Rufus! Bobby hooks up Chet to some jumper cables. But he gets some of Chet's black goo blood on him! What does that mean!?!? Chet smirks which must mean that it means something! OMG! Chet turned into Bobby! Bobby obviously says "balls." Chet uses Bobby's personal information against him.
Iowa! Sam and Dean walk down the street while Evil Sam and Evil Dean drive by in their Evil Impala. Dean calls Bobby to inform him that they've found their doppelgangers. They ask Bobby if he's got any more info on killing the leviathan. Bobby tells them that they should just hang back for now.
A police car drives up! They arrest Sam and Dean! Evil Sam and Evil Dean hear the ruckus and get back into the safety of their Evil Impala!
Casa de Rufus! Chet as Evil Bobby is still talking shit. He thinks Bobby's got a thing for Sheriff Suite Life. Real Bobby grabs his sword again and goes over to Chet as Evil Bobby. Bobby's about to slice Chet's head again when suddenly something drips on Chet's arm. And his arm starts sizzling! Whatever it is is burning a hole in Chet's skin! Chet as Evil Bobby looks up to the ceiling and gets the stuff on his face. He starts freaking out cos he's burning like a mother.
Bobby runs upstairs. Sheriff Suite Life is cleaning something off the floor. Bobby kisses her! What what! He asks her what the heck was in that bucket.
Police station! Dean and Sam are being hauled in. They try to explain to the sheriff that he's got the wrong guys. Of course the sheriff doesn't buy this crazy shizz at all. Dean wants his one phone call. The sheriff tells the officers to take Dean to a cell and Sam to an interview room while he calls the FBI. Then he tells the officers that after they're done with the Winchesters, they can go home.
Evil Sam and Evil Dean are waiting outside in the Evil Impala. When they see the officers leave, they go into the station. Evil Dean and Evil Sam have changed those faces for the faces of the officers that just left. Another officer enters. The Evil Officers snap his neck, get full-on Venus flytrap vagina face and presumably eat him.
Time to sell more shit.
Police station! Dean asks the sheriff for his one call again. The sheriff lets him call Bobby. Dean informs Bobby that the evil twins saw them and now the real Winchesters are in jail. Bobby tells Dean there's a chemical called sodium borate that's found in industrial strength cleaners that can burn the fuck out of 'em. He tells Dean to douse the leviathan in it, chop off the head and keep it separate from the body. While on the phone, Bobby puts Chet's head in a box.
The sheriff hangs up because he thinks Dean and Bobby are sickos. Dean tells him he needs to go find anything with borax in it. But the sheriff ain't listening to this ridiculousness.
The sheriff strolls back into another part of the station where he sees one of the Evil Officers feasting on that guy they just killed. The other Evil Officer walks in and tells Evil Officer 1 that they don't have time to eat. The sheriff hides. The Evil Officers turn back into Evil Dean and Evil Sam and the sheriff turns into a believer. Evil Sam and Evil Dean exit.
The sheriff goes back to the cell and frees Dean. Dean tells the sheriff to go to the supply closet and bring back everything that has borax in it.
Interview room! Dean enters. Sam's surprised to see him. But it's Evil Dean! Oh noes!
Back to Dean! Dean takes the eaten officers gun. Evil Sam walks up to Dean. Dean shoots him but it doesn't stop him. Evil Sam knocks the gun from Dean's hand and tosses Dean into a trophy case.
Interview room! Evil Dean tells Sam how he doesn't like being a Winchester. He tells him they should be doing evil instead of good.
Back to Dean again! Dean gets up and shatters the emergency glass case on the wall and takes the ax out. Evil Sam isn't scared of no ax. The sheriff dumps a bucket of chemicals on him. Evil Sam starts burning. Dean decapitates him.
Interview room! Evil Dean tells Sam that Dean thinks he's nuts and off his game. Then he tells him that Dean killed Amy. Evil Dean is very pleased with Sam's shocked reaction to this. Now he can eat Sam.
Dean breaks into the room. He throws the chemicals on Evil Dean and slices his head off. Evil Dean's body lands in a somewhat casual pose.
The sheriff uncuffs Sam. He tells the boys that the FBI are on their way and he'll do whatever he can in order to help the Winchesters. Dean asks the sheriff to help them play dead. The sheriff agrees and the boys leave.
Police station! The FBI are here. The sheriff tells them that he shot Sam and Dean. The coroner (i guess) tells them that the cause of death was multiple gunshot wounds and that she got their fingerprints for the FBI to varify. They ask to see the bodies. The sheriff tells them he sent them to the funeral home to be cremated. The FBI isn't happy that the sheriff had the bodies destroyed. Non-Ryan Gosling Lite acts like a douche but Actual-Ryan Gosling Lite tells him to chillax, no bodies means no paperwork. Which seems like a really lousy police work attitude if you ask me. So Ryan Gosling Lite pronounces the case closed and the Winchesters dead. The FBI leaves.
Casa de Rufus! Bobby watches the news. They say that Dean and Sam are dead. Bobby and Sheriff Suite Life flirt a little. Then Bobby gifts her with Chet's head in a box and asks her to toss it in the drain when she passes over a bridge. He tells her that he has to go bury the body in cement. Then he kisses her on the cheek. Aw, B! Sheriff Suite Life leaves.
Police station! The coroner doubles as the sheriff's daughter and she's very confused about why they had to lie to the FBI. She's also confused about the black goo. She says it's definitely not blood.
Ryan Gosling Lite is back. He tells her that the black goo is something much more. Then he gets full-on Venus flytrap vagina face and blood splatters all over the walls.
Even more commercials.
Police station! Ryan Gosling Lite unzips the body bags and calls someone. It's his boss. He tells him that the heads are missing. Boss Man asks if the actual Winchesters are dead. Ryan Gosling Lite tells him no. Boss Man tells Ryan Gosling Lite that it's back to the drawing board for Winchester-killing ideas. Boss Man gets in his car. Crowley blinks in. He introduces himself. Boss Man's name is Dick. Crowley wants to work with Dick. But Dick is so not interested. He calls demons ugly, lazy, gold-digging whores. He most def does NOT wanna work with Crowley's kind.
Impala poor substitute! Sam confronts Dean about killing Amy. Sam tells Dean that he can't be around him. He thinks Dean should go on without him. Dean says alright and sorry. Sam walks off.
Next time on Supernatural...
Mediums are being killed off. And apparently Sam and Dean are back together. That separation didn't last long.
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