Episode #5: Shut Up, Dr. Phil.
Previously on Supernatural...
Dean is still guilty about killing Amy the Kitsune. He also still hasn't let Sam in on the fact that he killed her. Sam still has Lucifer riding shotgun in his noggin but he's managing it. The leviathan are still running wild. And Cass is still dead. Maybe. If that's what you choose to believe. Which i don't.
Now...
Snazzy Hair Salon! Some chippy is getting her hair did. She's under a giant ass hair dryer. This isn't gonna end well. Especially when the hair stylist guy's last words are "Holler if you need anything." Some fancy doors close behind him so chippy can dry her hair and read her magazine in peace.
Chippy gets hot and bothered but can't get the dryer off her head. Can't she just slide off the chair? Nope, she can't. She tries to but something stops her. She "hollers" for Chris The Male Hair Stylist but he ain't coming. So girlfriend gets sizzled the fuck up.
Finally Chris enters the room. He slips the dryer off and her hair (as well as her head) are totally fried. Worst salon EVER!
Exploding black goo. Supernatural logo. Showtime!
Motel! Dean's asleep and dreaming of some heavy shit. He wakes up guilty panting and sees that Sam isn't in his bed. Dean gets up to research and drink.
Sam comes back from running. Sexily. And Dean makes a funny. Then he tells Sam about two people from Prosperity Indiana that died in fucked up ways. One was the chippy that got fired at the salon. The other was a man that boiled in a hot tub. The boys agree that it's worth checking out. Sam asks Dean what's going on with him. Dean evades the question so Sam drops it.
Parking lot somewhere! It's that Stalker Leviathan. He's talking on his cell to his boss. He's catching up to the Winchesters.
Impala! Sam and Dean are in Prosperity. Sam, in his Suit of Sexiness, interrogates salon chippy's (whose name is actually Wendy) sister. He asks her if Wendy had any enemies. The sister tells Sam how great Wendy was. He asks if Wendy knew the guy that got boiled in the hot tub. But Wendy's sister never heard the name so she doesn't think her sister knew him. She tells Sam if someone did this to her sister and it wasn't just a freak accident, she wants him to find out who.
Salon! Dean questions Chris The Useless Hair Stylist. Chris The Useless Hair Stylist tells Dean that the accident really couldn't have happened because the dryer only goes up to a certain temperature and would have blown a fuse. Dean investigates the hair dryer and finds a coin.
Sam and Dean are walking down different streets whilst taking on the phone to each other. They catch up with their various findings. We might be dealing with a hex talisman. Dean makes a funny then heads into a liquor store.
Job site! A guy goes into a PortAPotty. A nail gun in his truck fires up ON ITS OWN and hangs IN MIDAIR in front of the PortAPotty door! The guy opens the door thinking someone is playing a joke on him and sees the nail gun. Nails start firing. The guy gets nailed to the wall! The gun fires off two more nails straight through his eyes!
Time for commercials.
Job site! The bros are in their Suits of Sexiness. They're investigating this new scene. Dean questions the sheriff. The dead guy was yet another seemingly awesome person with no enemies. Dean searches the PortAPotty and finds another coin. He goes to the trailer where Sam is investigating the vic's computer. Sam found a connection between the three victims. They were all working on a shopping center project together. But the project was dropped. All the peeps working on this project have died except the developer, Don Stark. Dean knows this name somehow.
The boys are now at a bust of a one Mr. Don Stark in the center of town. Don Stark could be next. Dean whips out his flask for a quick swig. Sam reprimands him.
Sam's phone beeps. It's Bobby with info on the coins. They're Romanian.
Sam notices dead grass beside the bust. Dean noticed some by a bus bench with the Fried Wendy's pic on it.
Cut to Stalker Leviathan, rolling down the road, listening to sad music. He's headed for the Winchesters.
Don Stark's home/office! Hey it's Spike from Buffy! The boys question him about the victims. He only knew them through business.
Spike's assistant enters. She's taking out his dry cleaning and they flirt about cupcakes. The boys look at Spike as if his cupcake flirting with his young, pretty assistant is very suspect. Sam pretends he needs to tinkle so that he can investigate without Spike around. Dean continues questioning Spike while Sam heads upstairs. Spike admits that he's got enemies. Business rivals and such.
Meanwhile Sam finds a bedroom upstairs and checks it out. He finds a closet. One side is full of mens clothes. The other side is empty save for a broken heel, a witchy looking necklace and a shoebox filled with weird stuff including paper with odd symbols on them.
Back to Dean. Spike's showing off his plaques and talking about how everyone respects and admires him. Sam reenters and asks if that list of admirers includes his wife. Then Sam tells a little lie about how they heard Spike and his wife were splitting up. Spike's wife, btw, is Cordelia also from Buffy! Anyhoo, Spike admits that he and his wife are going through a tough time but hopes that it's only temporary. Sam asks for specifics about the separation but Spike is vague with his answers. Dean thinks Spike might be cheating with his assistant. Spike chuckles at this and says he's a people person. Then he admits to having "a thing" recently with a business associate. Dean asks if Wendy The Real Estate Agent/Fried-Headed Chippy was said "business associate." Spike admits that she was but that whatever they had going was done with long before her accident.
Sam and Dean tell Spike that he needs to be careful, implying that his wife might be vengefully cray cray.
The boys exit. There are more dead plants around Spike's home/office.
Sam tells Dean about all the witchy goodness that he found in Cordelia's closet. The boys decide that Cordy is a witch and Spike knows nothing about it. Dean makes a Bewitched reference. Sam notices the dead plants. They think Cordelia must be really powerful. So Dean calls Bobby for info on how to get rid of her. Dean and Sam leave and drive to Cordelia's new place.
Sam's faking car trouble in front of Cordy's house while Dean breaks in. Dean snoops and finds a Closet Of Hex with pics of the vics all marked with blood. There's a pic of Jenny the assistant that hasn't been bloodied yet.
Outside Cordy's house! Sam sees Cordelia driving up and calls Dean to warn him but the operator says all circuits are busy so Sam tries to stall Cordelia. He flashes his badge and asks if he can talk to her. She says yes but she's got something important to do right now so come back in half an hour. Sam tries harder to stall but Cordelia won't be deterred. She goes to her house. Sam sets off her car alarm in order to warn Dean. Dean hears it, takes the pic of Jenny and doesn't close the closet back all the way. D'oh!
Cordelia turns off her car alarm and Sam blames it on restless leg syndrome. Dean runs downstairs to hide. Cordelia enters. Dean exits and meets back up with Sam. He tells Sam about the photos of the victims and that Jenny The Assistant is next. He stole Jenny The Assistant's pic but eventually Cordy's gonna notice it's missing so they've got to book it to Jenny The Assistant's house, find the coin and destroy it before Jenny The Assistant bits the big one.
Cordelia is in her bedroom and sees the closet's cracked open and her Jenny pic has been taken.
Cupcakes! Or Jenny's house! Where she's making delicious cupcakes with pink frosting and multicolored sprinkles! Da-zam, Jenny is a cupcake-making machine!
Back to Cordelia's! She's got a spare picture of Jenny. She smears some blood on it and starts chanting. Cordy, NEVER kill someone that makes excellent cupcakes!
Meanwhile, Jenny enjoys the fruits of her labor. She bites into a cupcake and blood and icing drip on her mouth. Jenny is oblivious to the blood cos i guess her cupcakes are that fucking delicious. But then Jenny finally does notice that there's blood dripping down her arm from her cupcake which has a tiny beating heart in the center. Ewwwww! Jenny starts choking and puking up blood.
Dean and Sam bust into her apartment. Sam tries to find the coin while Dean tends to Jenny. Sam finds the coin on the top of Jenny's cabinets and shoots it with his gun. Jenny abruptly stops choking.
Now time for more commercials.
Ugh! i hate that commercial for Taylor Swift's perfume. Her "golly gee willikers" face gets on my nerves. It's like, you've been to every fucking country in the world what could you possibly be so "wonderstruck" about in this stupid commercial?
Jenny's freaking out about her disgusting cupcakes. Sam and Dean explain that she was hexed. They tell her she's got someone very powerful and very pissed off at her. And so she might wanna cool the sexy business with Spike. Jenny is confused cos she's got no sexy business with Spike. She even adds an "ew" for good measure.
Ugly paintings! Cordelia's holding an art auction and is getting the place ready for the event. Cordy's bff, Sue comes up and acts kinda like she's secretly in love with Cordelia. She evidently told Cordy about Spike and Wendy The Real Estate Agent/Fried Chippy's affair.
Spike enters. He confronts Sue for being a nosy bitch. Cordelia walks up. Spike wants to talk to her. Spike apparently knows that Cordelia was involved with Wendy The Real Estate Agent/Fried Chippy's death. Then they fight about who's fault it is that their marriage is over. Spike tells her that two FBI agents came by asking questions. She informs him that they're actually hunters and she'll take care of it. Spike tells Cordelia to stop. But Cordelia isn't going to. Spike walks outside. There's a rumbling noise. Spike's bust face breaks off.
The boys drive up in the Impala. Spike is peeved about the bust. Cordelia ain't playing, y'all.
Bobby calls with info on how to stop Cordelia. Apparently we're gonna need something weird and/or gross.
Art auction! Cordy's practicing her speech.
Motel! Dean eats pie. Sam comes in and lays down a bag of chicken feet on the table. And they are rank because whoever Sam bought them from, their power was out. He says there's blackouts and burst pipes all over. So Cordelia is pissed beyond just killing grass now.
Art auction! Spike drives up outside.
Cordelia gives her friend Sue a drink. Instead of two olives, there's an olive and an eyeball. Sue screams and drops her drink.
Outside, Spike smirks.
Back to Cordy. All the paintings start melting. Cordy is super pissed. Sue is super confused because Cordelia told her that it's Spike's fault that the paintings are being ruined. So Sue starts bad mouthing Spike. Suddenly a serving tray flies through the air and cuts her head off.
Spike continues smirking then drives away.
Cordelia declares war.
Impala! There are police and ambulances at the art auction. Sam and Dean go in to investigate. They don't think Cordelia would trash her own party. Obviously it was someone that hates her. The boys now believe that Spike is a witch too.
They leave.
Stalker Leviathan is stalking them in a car across the street.
Even more commercials.
Impala! The bros are waiting for Cordelia to show up at Spike's house. And here she is! Pissed as ever.
She storms into Spike's house.
Sam and Dean are right behind her with their chicken feet concoction. Dean starts with the Latin chanting. Sam lights the concoction on fire.
And it does......
Nothing.
Spike and Cordelia start their own chanting. Sam says time for plan B. If you can't kill them, counsel them.
Dean stops Spike and Cordy's chanting to tell them that obviously they could've gotten rid of each other long ago but they didn't which has got to mean that there's still something there, right? Dean starts getting a little pervy though so Sam takes over.
Cordelia says that she can't get over the fact that Spike cheated on her and thus thoroughly humiliated her.
Sam tells her that usually when a relationship falls apart, both parties have a hand in it. Spike agrees with this. Cordelia's pissed that Sam is defending Spike so she magically drops him to the floor.
Dean tries to smooth things over by saying nobody can defend Spike. Spike thinks Dean's sucking up to Cordelia. He magically punches Dean through a door.
Sam tries his hand at smoothing things over again but Cordelia magically pushes him down. Cordelia and Spike argue over the affair with Wendy The Real Estate Agent/Fried Chippy, which makes them bring up their 800 years of bad marriage behavior.
Cordelia starts in on Jenny but Dean tells her that actually there was nothing going on with Jenny. Cordelia throws him down again.
Spike apologizes to Cordy.
Sam tells them that this is a good thing, talking to each other. Dean gets smart assy. Cordelia pushes him against a wall. And Spike sics a swarm of bees on him.
Spike and Cordy have a touching moment where they both admit they could never kill each other. They start smooching.
Dean would really like them to call off the bees.
Commercials again.
Motel! Dean swigs from his flask. There may be an argument a-brewing about Dean's drinking but before we can get to that out steps Stalker Leviathan!
Stalker Leviathan tells the boys that he plans on killing them. Dean shoots at Stalker Leviathan but the bullet just falls to the ground.
Stalker Leviathan knocks the gun from Dean's hand and tosses his ass across the room. Sam tries to punch Stalker Leviathan but Stalker Leviathan grabs Sam's throat. Suddenly Stalker Leviathan gets all electrified-looking and falls to the ground. Spike walks in. He cast some kind of spell on Stalker Leviathan.
He tells them they need to drop the body in a bottomless pit somewhere cos this spell will only last a few days. Then he retrieves a coin from under the mattress. Oh those shifty witches.
Spike is awesome and then leaves.
The bros put Stalker Leviathan (now all chained up) in the back of the Impala.
Dean calls Bobby to tell him to get prepared for the Stalker Leviathan they're bringing his way.
Sam wants Dean to open like Spike and Cordelia did. He wants to know whatever it is that Dean isn't telling him. *cough* He killed Amy. *cough*
Sam tells Dean he can unload on him. But Dean, being stubborn as a mother, doesn't.
They get in the Impala and drive off.
Next time on Supernatural...
Supernatural: now with more pulp!
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