Time to make an adjustment. We put on our big girl panties for a more sophisticated trip down Memory Lane for The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge. So now lets slip on our Underoos so that we may tackle some of the kid-lit that has accumulated in our TBR pile. Starting with a Newbury Award winner.
EvilEva reviews...... The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman.
Nobody Owens, Bod if you please, is a normal boy that lives in a graveyard and is raised by ghosts. His family was killed by a man named Jack. And now Jack is on a mission to destroy the one that got away. But Bod has been given the Freedom of the Graveyard. He knows the lay of the land and all the creatures that inhabit it. Like the ghouls and the witch and the Sleer. Bod has friends in low places. Six feet low. And they'll do anything to protect him to ensure that he lives another day.
I was hoping I would like this book more than I did. Not to say that I didn't like it. Of course if did. It's by Neil Gaiman. I adore Coraline. It's just, the pace was a little wonky to me.
It started out strong with the man Jack. Neil Gaiman did not play around in that first chapter, y'all. But for several chapters after that it was just the story of Bod growing up in the graveyard and the ghosts he meets and the adventures he has traipsing through the cemetery. It's one of those things where the author has to tell you that story so he can tell you this story. So it was kinda like a collection of short stories that eventually connect at the end. Which I figured out when everything started coming together but while I was reading it I kept thinking, why do I need to know this, what happened to Jack, why isn't Silas better preparing Bod for the real world? Like I said though, it all comes together in the end.
I liked Bod. I think he was a good protagonist. But my fave character would have to be Liza Hempstock, the witch. I really liked her and her story. I also liked Silas, Bod's guardian. I wish there was more of his backstory though. And I'd really like to know what exactly he is.
Other than the odd pacing, I enjoyed this book. I've always had a weird fascination with graveyards. I'm more intrigued than creeped out whenever I find myself in one so I thought the whole premise of being raised in one and conversing with the residents there to be pretty cool.
The Scale of Judgment...... 3.
EvilEva reviews...... 100 Cupboards by N.D. Wilson.
After the mysterious disappearance of his parents, 12 year old Henry is sent to live with his aunt, uncle and three cousins in their Kansas farmhouse. One night, while trying to sleep, Henry hears strange thumping and bumping from the other side of the attic walls. He removes the plaster and finds something very unexpected. 99 cupboards in various shapes and sizes. Each cupboard leads to a strange and different world. Henry and his cousin Henrietta start investigating the cupboards. Some lead to beautiful lands. Others to dreary, unkind places. The kids are having fun jumping through worlds but something insidious has stepped out of one of the doors. And it wants Henry's blood.
This is the first book in the series and there are two others out now. I liked this one and I think that kids would like it too. It's that whole wondrous feeling that you get when you're little and a door can lead you so much further than just the back of the closet. As a kid I can remember always wanting to find a secret room or a hidden door or an uneven floorboard with a compartment underneath. (Never did though. My house, it seems, is just a house.) Well this is the story that I wished for myself. Henry and Henrietta find these cupboards and discover that there are all these different worlds going on in them. There is danger and excitement and anxiety and adventure. I liked that the kids were smart and so brave. They got into jams and would try to figure their way out of them.
My favorite character was Henrietta. I thought she kicked so much ass especially for a little kid. I also liked Blake the cat. He was very protective and I thought that was pretty cute. Kinda made me want a cat. And I don't even like cats.
I thought all the cupboards and the places they lead to were really interesting. If I were to find myself in the Willises attic and could open any of the doors, I'd choose: Door 1. Library (duh) Door 58 Hollow. Door 63 Lighthouse. And Door 89 Loft. I don't know what I'd find there but those are the doors that interested me.
My only problem was that the book starts out a little slow. It picks up fairly quickly though so it wasn't that big of a deal. It kinda reminded me of Alice in Wonderland, going through a mysterious door, meeting odd people, discovering strange lands. It's a really great adventure book for kids (and kids at heart that are still looking for that secret passage.)
Dandelion Fire is the second book in this series. And I think I'll pick it up. I'd like to see how this series plays out.
The Scale of Judgment says...... 3 and a half.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
The Books Into Movies Trifecta: Harry Potter, Hunger Games and Twilight News
It's official y'all. Elizabeth Banks nabbed the role of Effie. What do you think about that? i'm kinda on the fence with this decision. i like her alright but i was really hoping it would go to Kristin Chenoweth. i think she'd make the perfect Effie.
In even more Hunger Games movie news, two more Tributes have been cast. The Tributes for District 4 will be Ethan Jamieson and Tara Macken. So far most of the Tribs have been relative unknowns. i want to know who they'll cast as Foxface. And of course you know my ongoing obsession with whoever will play Haymitch. i've also been wondering who they'll get to play the evil President Snow. i haven't heard any names being thrown around for that role. It's been awhile since i read the first book, does President Snow make an appearance in The Hunger Games or am i thinking about Catching Fire. Just gives me a good excuse to reread them! :)
Entertainment Weekly just revealed some photos from the set of Breaking Dawn. Bella and Edward win the cover of the mag yet again this week. i flipped through them. i don't know. i'm not as excited for this movie as i am for the final Harry Potter and the much anticipated Hunger Games. This one i feel like, "Well i've seen the first three so i might as well bring it on home." Anyone else out there feeling kinda burnt out on the whole Twilight franchise?
P.S. That pic of Jacob shirtless running through what looks like a sprinkler is so ridiculous.
And finally, here is the trailer for the final installment of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. *bawls eyes out* Y'all, this is it. The last little bit of Harry. No more books. No more movies. *rolls around on floor in pathetic fangirl heap* It ends July 15th. Are you ready?
In even more Hunger Games movie news, two more Tributes have been cast. The Tributes for District 4 will be Ethan Jamieson and Tara Macken. So far most of the Tribs have been relative unknowns. i want to know who they'll cast as Foxface. And of course you know my ongoing obsession with whoever will play Haymitch. i've also been wondering who they'll get to play the evil President Snow. i haven't heard any names being thrown around for that role. It's been awhile since i read the first book, does President Snow make an appearance in The Hunger Games or am i thinking about Catching Fire. Just gives me a good excuse to reread them! :)
Entertainment Weekly just revealed some photos from the set of Breaking Dawn. Bella and Edward win the cover of the mag yet again this week. i flipped through them. i don't know. i'm not as excited for this movie as i am for the final Harry Potter and the much anticipated Hunger Games. This one i feel like, "Well i've seen the first three so i might as well bring it on home." Anyone else out there feeling kinda burnt out on the whole Twilight franchise?
P.S. That pic of Jacob shirtless running through what looks like a sprinkler is so ridiculous.
And finally, here is the trailer for the final installment of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. *bawls eyes out* Y'all, this is it. The last little bit of Harry. No more books. No more movies. *rolls around on floor in pathetic fangirl heap* It ends July 15th. Are you ready?
Labels:
Books Into Movies,
Harry Potter,
Hyped,
Linky-Dinks,
Movie News,
Movies,
The Hunger Games,
Twilight
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
More Books Into Movies (And TV) Linky-Dinkage
More Hunger Games movie news, y'all!!! Katniss and Prim's mother has been cast. She'll be played by Paula Malcomson. And the District 3 Tributes have been chosen. Those roles go to Ian Nelson and Kalia Prescott.
It's pretty ridiculous how excited i get when i discover another member of the movie has been cast. i'm waiting, somewhat impatiently, on Haymitch. There are rumors (of course there are) swirling that John C. Reilly may be in talks to play him. i love JCR and i think he's an amazing actor but i don't know that he's right for Haymitch. We'll see though. Hopefully soon.
It just occurred to me that i've heard rumors about Haymitch and Effie but i haven't heard anyone say anything about Cinna. What about you guys? Give me the dish or hit me with some of your own suggestions on who should play the delightful designer.
Big news on The Perks of Being a Wallflower movie: Nina Dobrev has joined the cast. That's Hermione Granger and Elena Gilbert, y'all! That sounds awesome!
Here is the trailer for the very successful book that has now been turned into a movie, The Help by Kathryn Stockett.
i still haven't read this book yet. The movie looks pretty good though. And i love Emma Stone's accent. ;) It'll be in theaters August 12th.
Now for some Books Into TV news:
It's pretty ridiculous how excited i get when i discover another member of the movie has been cast. i'm waiting, somewhat impatiently, on Haymitch. There are rumors (of course there are) swirling that John C. Reilly may be in talks to play him. i love JCR and i think he's an amazing actor but i don't know that he's right for Haymitch. We'll see though. Hopefully soon.
It just occurred to me that i've heard rumors about Haymitch and Effie but i haven't heard anyone say anything about Cinna. What about you guys? Give me the dish or hit me with some of your own suggestions on who should play the delightful designer.
Big news on The Perks of Being a Wallflower movie: Nina Dobrev has joined the cast. That's Hermione Granger and Elena Gilbert, y'all! That sounds awesome!
Here is the trailer for the very successful book that has now been turned into a movie, The Help by Kathryn Stockett.
i still haven't read this book yet. The movie looks pretty good though. And i love Emma Stone's accent. ;) It'll be in theaters August 12th.
Now for some Books Into TV news:
Pretty Little Liars will return to ABCFamily for its second season on Tuesday, June 14th at 8pm. i can't wait! There are so many questions that need answering. Like is Ian really dead? Where did his body go? What's gonna happen to our little liars? Will they be thrown in the clink? What about Melissa and the baby? Who the fuck is A? This show is totes my guilty pleasure! i love it!
Check back soon. i'll be posting Hunger Games movie news as it's revealed. And i'll of course keep you in the loop about all the other books into movies (and TV) news too.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Supernatural Shakedown: Season 6 Episode 18 OR Sexy Cowboys!
It's Friday night. It's 9 o clock. So sit your Ass-butt down and lets watch some Supernatural!
Episode #18: Frontierland.
Previously on Supernatural...
We were mind-fucked into thinking Ellen and Jo were still alive. And mind-fucked again when we discovered Bobby would've been married to Ellen. Aww. Poor Bobby. Fate went all gangsta on Cass' ass, threatening Sam and Dean if Cass didn't convince Balthy to sink the Titanic. So Balthy resunk the ship, saving Sam and Dean's lives but putting an end, once more, to Ellen and Jo's. And Mama still hasn't resurfaced. Where is that bitch?
Now...
There's a noose swinging in the middle of an old cowboy town. There are two dudes with boots and spurs. Looks like we might be in for a duel.
One of the dudes is Dean. And he's a sheriff. So it's Sheriff Dean vs. Some Cowboy. Ready? Draw! Guns are fired.
At least i think the title card is from Gunsmoke. It's from some old TV western.
Anyhooties, that's not really important. Back to the show.
Sam, Dean, and Bobby are all at the Campbell compound.
There's a secret hatch in the floor that leads to the "Campbell family library." The boys and Bobby are going to see if the Campbells had any info on Mama.
Sexy research montage time!
Bobby finds something. It seems that something called ashes of a phoenix can burn a mother!
Well that doesn't sound hard to find. Where do phoenixes hang out these days?
We have no idea what ash of a phoenix means. You know what that means?!?!
More sexy research montage time!!!
Now Dean has found something. It's Samuel Colt's journal!
There is talk of Star Trek 4 cos Dean wants to time travel 150 years ago in order to shoot the phoenix with the Colt.
So who do we call when we need some supernatural help? That's right, boys and girls! Let's call Cass!
So Dean does. But instead of Cass some chick who is very much NOT Cass shows up.
Not Cass: The Chicky tells the boys that Cass is actually very busy, you know, preparing for war and whatnot. Not Cass: The Chicky has got major attitude.
And now Cass is here! Yay! Send that snippy bitch away!
He does! Cass totes dismisses Not Cass: The Chicky.
She does her whole angel peace out.
They tell Cass what they're wanting to do. Cass agrees. Bobby and Sam start loading guns. Cass tells them there's somewhat of a catch: once he sends them back they'll only have 24 hours to do what needs to be done cos the further back he sends them the harder it'll be to retrieve them.
Dean enters the room with a sack of goodies. He's been to a western clothing store so that he and Sam will be able to dress the part of Sexy Cowboys!
The bros load up on gold necklaces (for currency) and guns (for shooting things with.)
Dean is way into the cowboy lingo. Apparently he fancies himself as Clint Eastwood.
Cass does his thing and the boys travel back in time.
They land in a small western town. Sam sets his watch. Then he gets horse shit on his cowboy boots.
Dean and Sam move to the center of town where there's a hanging in progress. Apparently Cowboy Badass killed his own wife and the townsfolk don't take kindly to wife-killin'. They ask if he has any last words. Cowboy Badass says that "they're all gonna burn for this."
Then Cowboy Badass gets hanged? Hung? Whatever. He's swinging by his neck from a rope.
Sam and Dean go to see the sheriff to get some info. Dean tells the sheriff that his name is Clint Eastwood and that Sam is Walker. He's a Texas ranger! Oh, Dean!
They wanna know if the sheriff can point them in the direction of Samuel Colt. The sheriff tells them to try the saloon.
So they mosey over to the saloon. Dean is hoping for hot, flirty saloon girls.
He is disappointed.
The boys go to get information from the barkeep. He tells them he thinks Colt is out building some kind of railroad.
In comes Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes and she's all up on Dean. Dean is really hoping Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes' lips don't get anywhere closer to his own.
Luckily, they're interrupted by the judge who has "a date" with Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes. Eww! They go upstairs.
Judge With Bad Judgment and Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes are in bed getting it on. Suddenly Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes screams.
It's Cowboy Badass that was just hung (hanged?) in the square! He's a ghost now! He touches Judge With Bad Judgment and JWBJ turns into charred bones. Sam and Dean rush up the stairs to check out the situation.
Now here are some commercials.
Ooh. Smallville preview! Lex fucking Luthor is fucking back, y'all!
Now the sheriff has come over to investigate.
Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes is telling them that Cowboy Badass was so a ghost.
But there are footprints. How can a ghost leave footprints?
The boys converse with the sheriff. Why is the sheriff so out of breath? Seriously. He sounds like he needs an inhaler.
We need to round up a posse in order to stop Cowboy Badass.
Sam and Dean go to Cowboy Badass' grave. Dean wants Sam to go find Samuel and get the Colt while he waits around for the posse to show up.
Dean makes a posse joke and is awesome!
So Sam gets on a horse. Sexily. And heads outta town.
Sam gallops across the plains.
The sheriff is outside with his own horse. Preparing for posse work, perhaps?
Suddenly the horse gets spooked. The sheriff sees Cowboy Badass.
Cowboy Badass puts his hands on the sheriff's throat and burns his ass up.
Cut to Cass and Lt. Bossy Britches.
She's acting all douche-y to Cass.
She tries to stab him! Bitch! A fight ensues. Cass stabs her dead.
Angel roadkill wing shadows.
That bitch nicked Cass! *gasp* What does this mean?
Back to Bobby's house. Or are we still at the Campbell compound? i think it's Bobby's.
Anyhoo, Cass appears and is crawling around on the floor of Bobby's kitchen. He smears his blood on Bobby's fridge into some kind of pattern. i can't tell what it says/is. Cass has terrible bloodmanship.
Cass stands up and then passes out. Bobby catches him before he hits the floor and gives us a Classic Bobby "balls!"
Back in the old west, Dean enters the saloon with a new hat inquiring where the hell his posse is. Someone from outside yells that the sheriff is dead.
Dean and the barkeep run out. They see that the sheriff has been reduced to a pile of ashes.
Dean asks the barkeep who the sheriff is now that the old one is, you know, dead.
The barkeep picks up the sheriff's badge from his ashes and pins it on Dean. Dean's sheriff now! He probably just had a cowboy-gasim!
More commercials.
Trailer for Dylan Dog. i kinda wanna see that movie. Is that weird?
Now we're at some shack in the woods. There is a guy at a table. Two more guys walk in and ask if he's Samuel Colt. Their eyes go all demon-y black.
Before they can even make a move, Colt totally wastes these two losers.
Now we're back in town. There's a deputy in a room, packing swiftly.
Dean knocks on his door and opens it. They pull their guns on each other.
Dean shows the deputy his badge. They put their guns away.
Dean figures that Cowboy Badass is going after the three dudes that hung (hanged?) him. He already had his revenge on the Judge With Bad Judgment and the sheriff, which leaves Deputy Dumbass. So Dean wants to use Deputy Dumbass as bait to lure Cowboy Badass to him.
Back at Colt's Shack, Sam knocks on the door. He walks into Colt's house. Colt throws holy water on him, like ya do. Sam tells Colt that he's also a hunter. But not just any hunter. He's a hunter from the year 2011.
Colt wants Sam to prove it.
Sam shows him his cell phone.
Colt believes him and goes back to drinking. Sam tells him about the phoenix. Colt seems wary. Sam tells Colt that he's gonna shoot a phoenix today and shows him the journal.
But Colt tells Sam that he's done with hunting.
Sam says that he needs him. Or just needs Colt to give him the gun.
Sam shows some sexy hunter's knowledge.
Colt doesn't wanna give Sam the gun because it's cursed.
Back at Bobby's, we see the timer. The boys have less than an hour.
Cass wakes up.
Uh oh. Cass is hurt and he doesn't think he can get Sam and Dean outta Frontierland. He says he knows of one thing that might work but it's dangerous. What else is new?
Cass says that he needs to touch Bobby's soul. And if he doesn't touch it "gingerly" then Bobby could explode.
Bobby agrees to be Touched By An Angel. i love Bobby! Bobby is always up for anything.
Commercial time.
Dean is at the jail waiting for Sam and the Colt. He's got Deputy Dumbass locked up in a cell.
Cowboy Badass is here.
CB can't get to Deputy Dumbass because Deputy Dumbass is behind bars. Iron ones. And CB can't touch iron.
So while we have some time, CB tells his story. CB is a supernatural something and he was married to a human lady. One night Deputy Dumbass had CB's wife pinned in an alley. CB goes to stop this bullshizz. Deputy Dumbass shoots CB and his wife. The wife dies. CB does not.
Dean tells CB that he knows what he is and so he has to kill him. CB tells him that he can't.
Dean jumps out the window and hightails it. CB follows, shooting.
Sam meets Dean in the alley. He tells him that Colt ain't coming. He hands Dean the gun.
Back at Bobby's, Cass and Bobby are getting ready for some soul-touching.
Back at High Noon, Dean is in town square calling CB out.
Time for a showdown!
Now back to Bobby's. Cass puts his hand through Bobby's gut.
Back to Dean Winchester: Lawman. Dean and CB draw their guns. They're both fast. But Dean is faster. He shoots CB. CB goes up in flames.
Dean blows the smoke from his gun and says "yipeekiyay motherfu..."
Cut to Cass.
Cut to Bobby.
Cut to the timer.
Dean goes to get the ashes from Cowboy Badass' burnt crisp. He slides on the ground with a bottle outstretched and he ends up.....
At Bobby's? Oh nooooooooooo!!! They didn't get the ashes!
Now enjoy these commercials.
Dean tells Cass he's gotta send them back.
Sam tells Dean that Cass looks fried.
Cass says that he'll never do that again.
Just then, there's a knock at the door. Who is it?
Sam goes to open the door. It's some delivery guy. He says he's got a package for Sam that's been sitting in his office forevs and today is the day that he was instructed to deliver it. Sam takes the package without signing for it.
It's from Colt!
It's Sam's phone (which is how he found the address) and a bottle of phoenix ashes! They got 'em! Now we can defeat the Mother of All!
Dean puts his cowboy hat back on.
It's on like donkey kong now, Mama!
Next time on Supernatural...
Looks like Demon City. There's a bloody Cass. Man, he's been taking a lickin' lately.
The boys meet Mama at a diner where she's........ waitressing? Then she turns into Mary Winchester! Oooh! That's cold, Mama!
Y'all, next weeks recap will probably be a little late as i'll be out of town all weekend (please don't rob me while i'm gone!) So you can expect April 29th's Shakedown on the 2nd or 3rd of May.
Episode #18: Frontierland.
Previously on Supernatural...
We were mind-fucked into thinking Ellen and Jo were still alive. And mind-fucked again when we discovered Bobby would've been married to Ellen. Aww. Poor Bobby. Fate went all gangsta on Cass' ass, threatening Sam and Dean if Cass didn't convince Balthy to sink the Titanic. So Balthy resunk the ship, saving Sam and Dean's lives but putting an end, once more, to Ellen and Jo's. And Mama still hasn't resurfaced. Where is that bitch?
Now...
There's a noose swinging in the middle of an old cowboy town. There are two dudes with boots and spurs. Looks like we might be in for a duel.
One of the dudes is Dean. And he's a sheriff. So it's Sheriff Dean vs. Some Cowboy. Ready? Draw! Guns are fired.
Gunsmoke title card. Supernatural logo. Showtime!
Anyhooties, that's not really important. Back to the show.
Sam, Dean, and Bobby are all at the Campbell compound.
There's a secret hatch in the floor that leads to the "Campbell family library." The boys and Bobby are going to see if the Campbells had any info on Mama.
Sexy research montage time!
Bobby finds something. It seems that something called ashes of a phoenix can burn a mother!
Well that doesn't sound hard to find. Where do phoenixes hang out these days?
We have no idea what ash of a phoenix means. You know what that means?!?!
More sexy research montage time!!!
Now Dean has found something. It's Samuel Colt's journal!
There is talk of Star Trek 4 cos Dean wants to time travel 150 years ago in order to shoot the phoenix with the Colt.
So who do we call when we need some supernatural help? That's right, boys and girls! Let's call Cass!
So Dean does. But instead of Cass some chick who is very much NOT Cass shows up.
Not Cass: The Chicky tells the boys that Cass is actually very busy, you know, preparing for war and whatnot. Not Cass: The Chicky has got major attitude.
And now Cass is here! Yay! Send that snippy bitch away!
He does! Cass totes dismisses Not Cass: The Chicky.
She does her whole angel peace out.
They tell Cass what they're wanting to do. Cass agrees. Bobby and Sam start loading guns. Cass tells them there's somewhat of a catch: once he sends them back they'll only have 24 hours to do what needs to be done cos the further back he sends them the harder it'll be to retrieve them.
Dean enters the room with a sack of goodies. He's been to a western clothing store so that he and Sam will be able to dress the part of Sexy Cowboys!
The bros load up on gold necklaces (for currency) and guns (for shooting things with.)
Dean is way into the cowboy lingo. Apparently he fancies himself as Clint Eastwood.
Cass does his thing and the boys travel back in time.
They land in a small western town. Sam sets his watch. Then he gets horse shit on his cowboy boots.
Dean and Sam move to the center of town where there's a hanging in progress. Apparently Cowboy Badass killed his own wife and the townsfolk don't take kindly to wife-killin'. They ask if he has any last words. Cowboy Badass says that "they're all gonna burn for this."
Then Cowboy Badass gets hanged? Hung? Whatever. He's swinging by his neck from a rope.
Sam and Dean go to see the sheriff to get some info. Dean tells the sheriff that his name is Clint Eastwood and that Sam is Walker. He's a Texas ranger! Oh, Dean!
They wanna know if the sheriff can point them in the direction of Samuel Colt. The sheriff tells them to try the saloon.
So they mosey over to the saloon. Dean is hoping for hot, flirty saloon girls.
He is disappointed.
The boys go to get information from the barkeep. He tells them he thinks Colt is out building some kind of railroad.
In comes Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes and she's all up on Dean. Dean is really hoping Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes' lips don't get anywhere closer to his own.
Luckily, they're interrupted by the judge who has "a date" with Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes. Eww! They go upstairs.
Judge With Bad Judgment and Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes are in bed getting it on. Suddenly Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes screams.
It's Cowboy Badass that was just hung (hanged?) in the square! He's a ghost now! He touches Judge With Bad Judgment and JWBJ turns into charred bones. Sam and Dean rush up the stairs to check out the situation.
Now here are some commercials.
Ooh. Smallville preview! Lex fucking Luthor is fucking back, y'all!
Now the sheriff has come over to investigate.
Darla The Saloon Girl With Herpes is telling them that Cowboy Badass was so a ghost.
But there are footprints. How can a ghost leave footprints?
The boys converse with the sheriff. Why is the sheriff so out of breath? Seriously. He sounds like he needs an inhaler.
We need to round up a posse in order to stop Cowboy Badass.
Sam and Dean go to Cowboy Badass' grave. Dean wants Sam to go find Samuel and get the Colt while he waits around for the posse to show up.
Dean makes a posse joke and is awesome!
So Sam gets on a horse. Sexily. And heads outta town.
Sam gallops across the plains.
The sheriff is outside with his own horse. Preparing for posse work, perhaps?
Suddenly the horse gets spooked. The sheriff sees Cowboy Badass.
Cowboy Badass puts his hands on the sheriff's throat and burns his ass up.
Cut to Cass and Lt. Bossy Britches.
She's acting all douche-y to Cass.
She tries to stab him! Bitch! A fight ensues. Cass stabs her dead.
Angel roadkill wing shadows.
That bitch nicked Cass! *gasp* What does this mean?
Back to Bobby's house. Or are we still at the Campbell compound? i think it's Bobby's.
Anyhoo, Cass appears and is crawling around on the floor of Bobby's kitchen. He smears his blood on Bobby's fridge into some kind of pattern. i can't tell what it says/is. Cass has terrible bloodmanship.
Cass stands up and then passes out. Bobby catches him before he hits the floor and gives us a Classic Bobby "balls!"
Back in the old west, Dean enters the saloon with a new hat inquiring where the hell his posse is. Someone from outside yells that the sheriff is dead.
Dean and the barkeep run out. They see that the sheriff has been reduced to a pile of ashes.
Dean asks the barkeep who the sheriff is now that the old one is, you know, dead.
The barkeep picks up the sheriff's badge from his ashes and pins it on Dean. Dean's sheriff now! He probably just had a cowboy-gasim!
More commercials.
Trailer for Dylan Dog. i kinda wanna see that movie. Is that weird?
Now we're at some shack in the woods. There is a guy at a table. Two more guys walk in and ask if he's Samuel Colt. Their eyes go all demon-y black.
Before they can even make a move, Colt totally wastes these two losers.
Now we're back in town. There's a deputy in a room, packing swiftly.
Dean knocks on his door and opens it. They pull their guns on each other.
Dean shows the deputy his badge. They put their guns away.
Dean figures that Cowboy Badass is going after the three dudes that hung (hanged?) him. He already had his revenge on the Judge With Bad Judgment and the sheriff, which leaves Deputy Dumbass. So Dean wants to use Deputy Dumbass as bait to lure Cowboy Badass to him.
Back at Colt's Shack, Sam knocks on the door. He walks into Colt's house. Colt throws holy water on him, like ya do. Sam tells Colt that he's also a hunter. But not just any hunter. He's a hunter from the year 2011.
Colt wants Sam to prove it.
Sam shows him his cell phone.
Colt believes him and goes back to drinking. Sam tells him about the phoenix. Colt seems wary. Sam tells Colt that he's gonna shoot a phoenix today and shows him the journal.
But Colt tells Sam that he's done with hunting.
Sam says that he needs him. Or just needs Colt to give him the gun.
Sam shows some sexy hunter's knowledge.
Colt doesn't wanna give Sam the gun because it's cursed.
Back at Bobby's, we see the timer. The boys have less than an hour.
Cass wakes up.
Uh oh. Cass is hurt and he doesn't think he can get Sam and Dean outta Frontierland. He says he knows of one thing that might work but it's dangerous. What else is new?
Cass says that he needs to touch Bobby's soul. And if he doesn't touch it "gingerly" then Bobby could explode.
Bobby agrees to be Touched By An Angel. i love Bobby! Bobby is always up for anything.
Commercial time.
Dean is at the jail waiting for Sam and the Colt. He's got Deputy Dumbass locked up in a cell.
Cowboy Badass is here.
CB can't get to Deputy Dumbass because Deputy Dumbass is behind bars. Iron ones. And CB can't touch iron.
So while we have some time, CB tells his story. CB is a supernatural something and he was married to a human lady. One night Deputy Dumbass had CB's wife pinned in an alley. CB goes to stop this bullshizz. Deputy Dumbass shoots CB and his wife. The wife dies. CB does not.
Dean tells CB that he knows what he is and so he has to kill him. CB tells him that he can't.
Dean jumps out the window and hightails it. CB follows, shooting.
Sam meets Dean in the alley. He tells him that Colt ain't coming. He hands Dean the gun.
Back at Bobby's, Cass and Bobby are getting ready for some soul-touching.
Back at High Noon, Dean is in town square calling CB out.
Time for a showdown!
Now back to Bobby's. Cass puts his hand through Bobby's gut.
Back to Dean Winchester: Lawman. Dean and CB draw their guns. They're both fast. But Dean is faster. He shoots CB. CB goes up in flames.
Dean blows the smoke from his gun and says "yipeekiyay motherfu..."
Cut to Cass.
Cut to Bobby.
Cut to the timer.
Dean goes to get the ashes from Cowboy Badass' burnt crisp. He slides on the ground with a bottle outstretched and he ends up.....
At Bobby's? Oh nooooooooooo!!! They didn't get the ashes!
Now enjoy these commercials.
Dean tells Cass he's gotta send them back.
Sam tells Dean that Cass looks fried.
Cass says that he'll never do that again.
Just then, there's a knock at the door. Who is it?
Sam goes to open the door. It's some delivery guy. He says he's got a package for Sam that's been sitting in his office forevs and today is the day that he was instructed to deliver it. Sam takes the package without signing for it.
It's from Colt!
It's Sam's phone (which is how he found the address) and a bottle of phoenix ashes! They got 'em! Now we can defeat the Mother of All!
Dean puts his cowboy hat back on.
It's on like donkey kong now, Mama!
Next time on Supernatural...
Looks like Demon City. There's a bloody Cass. Man, he's been taking a lickin' lately.
The boys meet Mama at a diner where she's........ waitressing? Then she turns into Mary Winchester! Oooh! That's cold, Mama!
Y'all, next weeks recap will probably be a little late as i'll be out of town all weekend (please don't rob me while i'm gone!) So you can expect April 29th's Shakedown on the 2nd or 3rd of May.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
YA And Kid-Lit Books Into Movies News
We've got two more Tributes! District 1's Careers were cast this week. Jack Quaid will play Marvel and Leven Rambin will play Glimmer in the movie adaptation of the amazing book series, The Hunger Games.
Newcomer Willow Shields has been cast as Prim, Katniss' little sister and guardian to the often unpleasant cat, Buttercup.
Also in HG movie news, rumor has it that Elizabeth Banks is being considered for the role of Effie Trinket. i'm kinda liking the idea of Kristin Chenoweth for that part though but we'll have to wait and see. Although, it seems the cast is coming together fairly quickly now that the three leads have been chosen so maybe we'll have our Effie any day now.
The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare is getting all movie-ified. TRUTH SERUM TiME- i haven't read any of these books yet. But i do own City of Bones and i've already been scolded by my BFF to "read these books already!" So it has now been moved to the top of my TBR pile.
Anyhoo, Lily Collins will play Clary Fray and here is a clip of her discussing what is necessary for a guy to win the role of Jace. Apparently there have been rumors that Alex Pettyfer has been suggested for for the part. He's kinda like a Book Into Movie-leading man-whore. First he had I Am Number Four and Beastly. Then there was talk of him being up for the role of Peeta and now he's supposedly in the running for this movie too. Yep. Total Book Into Movie-leading man-whore.
It happened for Greg Heffley. And Ramona Quimby. This summer it's Judy Moody's turn. Starting June 10th, Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer will be heading to theaters. Kid-lit has really been on fire at the box office lately. It makes me wonder, could Junie B. Jones, Nate the Great, or my personal fave, Fudge Hatcher be far behind?
Newcomer Willow Shields has been cast as Prim, Katniss' little sister and guardian to the often unpleasant cat, Buttercup.
Also in HG movie news, rumor has it that Elizabeth Banks is being considered for the role of Effie Trinket. i'm kinda liking the idea of Kristin Chenoweth for that part though but we'll have to wait and see. Although, it seems the cast is coming together fairly quickly now that the three leads have been chosen so maybe we'll have our Effie any day now.
The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare is getting all movie-ified. TRUTH SERUM TiME- i haven't read any of these books yet. But i do own City of Bones and i've already been scolded by my BFF to "read these books already!" So it has now been moved to the top of my TBR pile.
Anyhoo, Lily Collins will play Clary Fray and here is a clip of her discussing what is necessary for a guy to win the role of Jace. Apparently there have been rumors that Alex Pettyfer has been suggested for for the part. He's kinda like a Book Into Movie-leading man-whore. First he had I Am Number Four and Beastly. Then there was talk of him being up for the role of Peeta and now he's supposedly in the running for this movie too. Yep. Total Book Into Movie-leading man-whore.
It happened for Greg Heffley. And Ramona Quimby. This summer it's Judy Moody's turn. Starting June 10th, Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer will be heading to theaters. Kid-lit has really been on fire at the box office lately. It makes me wonder, could Junie B. Jones, Nate the Great, or my personal fave, Fudge Hatcher be far behind?
That's all the movie news i have for you right now but i'll be keeping you posted every step of the way until we have the entire cast of The Hunger Games so be sure to check back in soon!
That's all the movie news i have for you right now but i'll be keeping you posted every step of the way until we have the entire cast of The Hunger Games so be sure to check back in soon!
Labels:
Books Into Movies,
Kid-Lit,
Linky-Dinks,
Movie News,
Movies,
The Hunger Games,
YA
Monday, April 18, 2011
Meet District 11!
Slowly but surely the cast for The Hunger Games is coming together. This week we discovered the two actors that will play District 11's Tributes, Rue and Thresh! And good news! They actually look like what you would expect after reading the books! So score one for The Hunger Games movie casting peeps!
Rue will be played by the super adorable Amandla Stenburg.
And Thresh will be played by super intense newcomer Dayo Okeniyi.
Rue will be played by the super adorable Amandla Stenburg.
And Thresh will be played by super intense newcomer Dayo Okeniyi.
i think these two are a good addition to the cast. And i'm also beginning to feel a little better about Jennifer Lawrence being cast as Katniss. Over the weekend i watched Winter's Bone and while i didn't really care for the movie that much i thought that Jennifer Lawrence did a great job with the character Ree. It makes me think that she'll do well playing Katniss because she can look vulnerable yet tough at the same time. Plus she can skin a squirrel, take care of younger siblings while also looking after a seemingly useless mother, shoot a gun, and come off pretty badass-y.
So, with my confidence in Katniss renewed and my excitment over these new Tributes, i can feel myself getting pumped once more for the movie version of this awesome trilogy!
Now if they can keep from jacking up Haymitch, Cinna and Effie, then i'll be very pumped for the movie!
What do you guys think of our newest Tributes? Dish in the comments section.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Supernatural Shakedown: Season 6 Episode 17 OR Don't Tempt Fate---She'll Cut A Bitch
It's Friday night. It's 9 o clock. So sit your Ass-butt down and lets watch some Supernatural!
Episode #17: My Heart Will Go On.
Previously on Supernatural...
Mama made a reappearance. Dean shot Annoying Girl Cousin under the influence of ear-wormery. Sam shot Gramps in the face thinking Gramps was infected with ear-worm. Bobby stabbed Rufus but the ear-worm made him do it. Bobby nearly killed Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean nearly killed Bobby. Annoying Girl Cousin is dead. Gramps is dead. Rufus is dead. And Bobby has a sad.
Now...
Hey everybody! It's Some Dude! And he's doing garage-type things in his garage of, lets face it, no return. He slips on a wayward skateboard and nearly slices his eyeball right out of its socket courtesy of a pair a gardening shears. But *wipes sweat from brow* eyeballic disaster has been averted.
But, uh oh, somehow ping pong balls have been knocked onto the floor. This is not gonna end well for Some Dude. Yep. And down he goes, slipping on the ping pong balls. He falls to the floor and ICK! is decapitated by his own garage door. Guess he shouldn't have tried to keep it open with a mere rake handle. So it's kinda like Final Destination tonight where one thing sets off something else and so on and so on until your head gets chopped off by your own garage door.
It's Bobby! He's drinking and reading.
Sam and Dean are concerned for Bobby's well being. So they play rock, paper, scissors to see who should break the awkward silence and talk to him first.
Bobby sees them and asks them politely to stop fucking around.
The bros think that Bobby should take some time to himself and properly mourn the lose of Rufus.
Bobby thinks the boys should stop acting all Dr. Phil-y and shut their pieholes so that he can concentrate on this whole Mama bidness.
Sam and Dean retire to the kitchen to talk about Bobby in private. Sam tells Dean that there's a job in Pennsylvania. Three people have been killed. They're all blood relatives. So it may be that this family is haunted.
Bobby tells the boys to get out of his house, they're driving him nuts. So the boys choose to go to Pennsylvania to check this shizz out.
They go out to Bobby's garage and get into some souped up non-Impala that has orange stripes down the center of it. Wait. What? Where is the Impala? Did something happen to it before the hellatus started that i'm not remembering? Am i going crazy? Why are they in this douchemobile? What the hell!?!?
Anyhoo, Dean and Sammy drive off.
What the hell times two!!! What is Ellen doing back? Yes. Ellen is back! She's standing over the sink in Bobby's kitchen! She and Bobby are bantering back and forth! She says that she's been out hunting with Jo! JO!?!?! What?
WHAT?!?!?! Bobby and Ellen are married?!?!? What the fuck is going on here?
My mind is now sufficiently blown so lets go see what the boys are doing.
They're walking around with flashlights inside the Garage of No Return looking for clues.
Sam finds one. There's some kind of gold string on the floor. What could that mean?
The bros decide to split up. Sam is gonna check the family records and Dean is gonna pay a visit to the next of ken aka the next to die.
Dean is at some shmucky looking law office, talking with some douche-y lawyer. Dean tells him that he's from the Department of Genealogy and he wants to study the Russo family. He asks Douche Lawyer Russo all these crazy questions trying to find out if his family might be cursed. In doing so, Dean is awesome.
Douche Lawyer Russo acts like a dick. Dean tells him that his life is in danger. Douche Lawyer Russo tells Dean to get the hell outta his office.
We see Sam and Dean leaving their appointed buildings in their Suits of Sexiness. *fangirl sigh*
Dean calls Sam and asks if he found out anything. Sam tells him that the family seems pretty picket-fence-y.
Now we see a lady at a travel agency. She's talking on the phone about something we don't care about as she is now taking up what could have been prime Suits of Sexiness time.
All of the sudden the scene pauses. Some chippy comes in and steals Travel Agent Lady's keys and puts them under the copier. Then she leaves.
The scene plays and Travel Agent Lady bends down to pick up her keys. Havoc happens all over the place! Travel Agent Lady gets her scarf stuck in the copier and she chokes to death.
The chippy comes back and opens a book. A gold thread from a bookmark falls to the floor. The chippy checks a name off of a list in the book.
Commercial time.
Flashlight sneakiness. This time we're at the travel agency. Turns out, Travel Agent Lady wasn't related to the Russo's. Dean spies another golden thread.
Perplexed, Dean calls Ellen. Dean should really be perplexed why now, all of a sudden, he can call Ellen! She's supposed to be dead, y'all.
Ellen tells him that there have been 75 cases nationwide. Jo is apparently working a similar case in California. Why is no one but me surprised that Jo and Ellen aren't dead? What is going on?
Ellen says that she and Bobby have combed through all the dead peeps family histories and discovered that there is only one connection. Their ancestors all came over on the same boat. The Titanic. Ever heard of it? No. NO? What?
Sam researches (sexily of course) the Titanic. Apparently it didn't sink, y'all.
He does find out a rather interesting tidbit. The first mate's name was I.P. Freeley. So they look at the pic of the ships crew and see that first mate I.P. Freeley is none other than that sneaky Balthazar!
So they summon Balthy and ask him what in the deuce is going on here.
Balthazar tells them that the Titanic was meant to sink but he saved it.
Dean asks why Balthy decided to save it since that's really not his style.
Balthy tells them that he hated the movie. And they're all "What movie?" And Balthy's all "Exactly."
Balth also hated that Celine Dion song. The boys are all "Who's Celine Dion."
Balthy says "Just some lounge singer in Quebec."
But enough of that hilarity, lets get back to the bidness at hand.
So Balthy unsunk a ship and now he's created a butterfly effect. A snappy Ashton Kutcher dig is obviously made.
Now everything is different and thus not the way it was supposed to be. The boys don't even own the Impala anymore. (Thank you, Balthy, i was wondering what the fuck was up with the douchemobile. Question answered.)
And now since Balthy has fucked everything up, all of the descendants of the people aboard the Titanic (whom really shouldn't even exist) are being killed off.
Balthy is not really great at, you know, caring. So he doesn't. Then he makes a funny about Cass and leaves.
The bros call Bobby and tell him what's up. Bobby says that the only person he could think of that could be responsible for the deaths would be Fate.
The boys wanna know what would be the easiest way then to get rid of this Fate person.
Bobby tells them that the easiest thing they could do would be to just ask Balthy to resink the ship.
Dean says no. Because if the boat sinks then Ellen and Jo will go back to being dead.
Bobby has a sad about that since he's now married to Ellen. He tells Sam and Dean to make sure to keep the angels from sinking that ship.
So Dean and Sam wonder how they are supposed to save 50,000 people when they don't even know who they are or where they're at. Dean says they know at least one of the people that need saving.
They go back to Douche Lawyer Russo's office. The boys are calling to him as he walks down the street on his cell. He almost gets run over but the boys pull him out of the way just in time. Douche Lawyer Russo acts like a huge dick as opposed to someone who was just saved by these two gorgeous men and he walks out in the road and gets hit by a bus. That asshole kinda deserved it, really.
It's commercial time again, my friends.
It seems Douche Lawyer Russo got smeared by a bus that had his own law ad on the back of it. Dean starts to make a funny. Sam tells him that it is perhaps too soon for that as he just got run down like six seconds ago.
Sam sees the chippy in the window of some office. Dean asks what she looked like. Sam says kinda like a librarian. Dean says your kind of librarian or my kind of librarian. Sam says well she had clothes on if that's what Dean means.
The boys stop their brotherly banter and head across the street to find the chippy. They go into some store to see where the chippy aka Fate is hiding.
More flashlights of intrigue.
The clock on the wall stops.
Fate Chippy is in some kind of kitchen turning all the burners of the stove on.
The clock starts again.
Flashlights of intrigue go out. So Dean breaks out his lighter. No Dean!!!
He's clicking it on and opening the door to the kitchen and KA-BLOOEY! But not.
Cass saved the Winchesters at the last second.
He tells them that Fate is really cheesed off at them for that whole "stopping the apocalypse" thing. Because in doing that they have rendered Fate useless.
The boys wanna know what they need to do. Cass tells them to kill Fate.
Sam and Dean are all "Whaaaaaaaa?!?!?" How are they supposed to do that?
Cass tells them to "tempt Fate."
Meanwhile, back at Bobby and Ellen's Temporary Love Shack, the pair are talking about this Fate thing. Ellen thinks the easiest way to make things right would be to sink the ship but Bobby's all Nuh-uh cos he knows that Ellen and Jo will be kaput if that happens.
Bobby tells Ellen that if the ship sinks then she and Jo will be dead. He tells her that the boys aren't gonna sink the Titanic. The two share a touching, drinky moment.
Back to the Winchesters. They're trying to tempt Fate by just walking around town. But now there are skateboarders and huge, barking dogs and dudes juggling knives in the boy's path and it's making them nervous and paranoid.
Oh no. Now the dudes are juggling flaming thingies. Dean hurries through, followed by Sam. They continue walking down the street "tempting Fate."
They pass by a guy with a nail gun. Dean makes a funny saying "who do you have to kill to get killed around here." Hee hee!
Dean and Sam think that maybe Cass was wrong about Fate wanting them dead.
Just then, some big machine starts to fall off the roof, heading straight for the boys!
Time pauses.
Dammit! Time for another commercial.
Sam and Dean are frozen staring up at the machine thing. Enter Cass. Thank God!
Now Fate is pissed at Cass for ruining all her work. She doesn't know what to do next. She went to Heaven and no one would even talk to her.
Fate thinks that Cass is behind Balthy unsinking the Titanic because of the whole Heaven war and whatnot.
She tells Cass that if he doesn't make things right and sink the boat then she'll kill Sam and Dean.
Fate tells Cass that she has two sisters and if anything were to happen to her, then they would come after Sam and Dean and straight up kill them for revenge.
Cass tells Balth to stop cos he's right behind Fate about to kill her. Fate turns around and sees him. Balthazar looks like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Oh Balthy! You so crazy!
The three make a deal to go back and sink the Titanic.
They disappear.
The big machine thing falls.
Last commercial of the night.
Sam and Dean are asleep in the Impala. My Heart Will Go On is playing on the radio. (this is why i love you, Supernatural!)
They wake up. They're back in Bobby's garage.
Sam tells Dean that he had a really weird dream. Dean says there's no way Sam's dream was weirder than his.
They each tell what their dream was about and find out they dreamed the same thing.
Cass pops up. He tells them that it wasn't a dream. He tells them that he made Balthy go back and sink the Titanic so that Dean and Sam could live.
Dean asks about Jo and Ellen.
Cass tells them that he's sorry.
No one will remember this except Sam and Dean because Cass wanted them to remember it.
Dean jokes that Balthy needs this TV privileges revoked for causing so much shizz simply because he didn't like a chick flick.
Cass leaves.
Sam and Dean go inside and find Bobby sleeping like an angel. (no pun intended, Cass.)
They feel bad for Bobby for not getting to marry Ellen, not getting to remember any of what went down and still feeling guilty about Rufus.
Dean turns off the lamp and we see the picture on the side table that was of Bobby and Ellen is now just a pic of Bobby. Aww. Poor Bobby. Wonder who took the picture.
Next time on Supernatural...
We'll be time traveling to the old west. To tell you the truth, nothing in the Supernatural universe surprises me anymore. Time travel? Sure. Jo and Ellen are alive now? Of course, why not? Sam and Dean decide to adopt a poodle and name him Sir Fluffybottom the Third? Completely plausible. Aw. Now i kinda want them to adopt a puppy! ;)
Episode #17: My Heart Will Go On.
Previously on Supernatural...
Mama made a reappearance. Dean shot Annoying Girl Cousin under the influence of ear-wormery. Sam shot Gramps in the face thinking Gramps was infected with ear-worm. Bobby stabbed Rufus but the ear-worm made him do it. Bobby nearly killed Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean nearly killed Bobby. Annoying Girl Cousin is dead. Gramps is dead. Rufus is dead. And Bobby has a sad.
Now...
Hey everybody! It's Some Dude! And he's doing garage-type things in his garage of, lets face it, no return. He slips on a wayward skateboard and nearly slices his eyeball right out of its socket courtesy of a pair a gardening shears. But *wipes sweat from brow* eyeballic disaster has been averted.
But, uh oh, somehow ping pong balls have been knocked onto the floor. This is not gonna end well for Some Dude. Yep. And down he goes, slipping on the ping pong balls. He falls to the floor and ICK! is decapitated by his own garage door. Guess he shouldn't have tried to keep it open with a mere rake handle. So it's kinda like Final Destination tonight where one thing sets off something else and so on and so on until your head gets chopped off by your own garage door.
Glass shattering. Supernatural logo. Showtime!
It's Bobby! He's drinking and reading.
Sam and Dean are concerned for Bobby's well being. So they play rock, paper, scissors to see who should break the awkward silence and talk to him first.
Bobby sees them and asks them politely to stop fucking around.
The bros think that Bobby should take some time to himself and properly mourn the lose of Rufus.
Bobby thinks the boys should stop acting all Dr. Phil-y and shut their pieholes so that he can concentrate on this whole Mama bidness.
Sam and Dean retire to the kitchen to talk about Bobby in private. Sam tells Dean that there's a job in Pennsylvania. Three people have been killed. They're all blood relatives. So it may be that this family is haunted.
Bobby tells the boys to get out of his house, they're driving him nuts. So the boys choose to go to Pennsylvania to check this shizz out.
They go out to Bobby's garage and get into some souped up non-Impala that has orange stripes down the center of it. Wait. What? Where is the Impala? Did something happen to it before the hellatus started that i'm not remembering? Am i going crazy? Why are they in this douchemobile? What the hell!?!?
Anyhoo, Dean and Sammy drive off.
What the hell times two!!! What is Ellen doing back? Yes. Ellen is back! She's standing over the sink in Bobby's kitchen! She and Bobby are bantering back and forth! She says that she's been out hunting with Jo! JO!?!?! What?
WHAT?!?!?! Bobby and Ellen are married?!?!? What the fuck is going on here?
My mind is now sufficiently blown so lets go see what the boys are doing.
They're walking around with flashlights inside the Garage of No Return looking for clues.
Sam finds one. There's some kind of gold string on the floor. What could that mean?
The bros decide to split up. Sam is gonna check the family records and Dean is gonna pay a visit to the next of ken aka the next to die.
Dean is at some shmucky looking law office, talking with some douche-y lawyer. Dean tells him that he's from the Department of Genealogy and he wants to study the Russo family. He asks Douche Lawyer Russo all these crazy questions trying to find out if his family might be cursed. In doing so, Dean is awesome.
Douche Lawyer Russo acts like a dick. Dean tells him that his life is in danger. Douche Lawyer Russo tells Dean to get the hell outta his office.
We see Sam and Dean leaving their appointed buildings in their Suits of Sexiness. *fangirl sigh*
Dean calls Sam and asks if he found out anything. Sam tells him that the family seems pretty picket-fence-y.
Now we see a lady at a travel agency. She's talking on the phone about something we don't care about as she is now taking up what could have been prime Suits of Sexiness time.
All of the sudden the scene pauses. Some chippy comes in and steals Travel Agent Lady's keys and puts them under the copier. Then she leaves.
The scene plays and Travel Agent Lady bends down to pick up her keys. Havoc happens all over the place! Travel Agent Lady gets her scarf stuck in the copier and she chokes to death.
The chippy comes back and opens a book. A gold thread from a bookmark falls to the floor. The chippy checks a name off of a list in the book.
Commercial time.
Flashlight sneakiness. This time we're at the travel agency. Turns out, Travel Agent Lady wasn't related to the Russo's. Dean spies another golden thread.
Perplexed, Dean calls Ellen. Dean should really be perplexed why now, all of a sudden, he can call Ellen! She's supposed to be dead, y'all.
Ellen tells him that there have been 75 cases nationwide. Jo is apparently working a similar case in California. Why is no one but me surprised that Jo and Ellen aren't dead? What is going on?
Ellen says that she and Bobby have combed through all the dead peeps family histories and discovered that there is only one connection. Their ancestors all came over on the same boat. The Titanic. Ever heard of it? No. NO? What?
Sam researches (sexily of course) the Titanic. Apparently it didn't sink, y'all.
He does find out a rather interesting tidbit. The first mate's name was I.P. Freeley. So they look at the pic of the ships crew and see that first mate I.P. Freeley is none other than that sneaky Balthazar!
So they summon Balthy and ask him what in the deuce is going on here.
Balthazar tells them that the Titanic was meant to sink but he saved it.
Dean asks why Balthy decided to save it since that's really not his style.
Balthy tells them that he hated the movie. And they're all "What movie?" And Balthy's all "Exactly."
Balth also hated that Celine Dion song. The boys are all "Who's Celine Dion."
Balthy says "Just some lounge singer in Quebec."
But enough of that hilarity, lets get back to the bidness at hand.
So Balthy unsunk a ship and now he's created a butterfly effect. A snappy Ashton Kutcher dig is obviously made.
Now everything is different and thus not the way it was supposed to be. The boys don't even own the Impala anymore. (Thank you, Balthy, i was wondering what the fuck was up with the douchemobile. Question answered.)
And now since Balthy has fucked everything up, all of the descendants of the people aboard the Titanic (whom really shouldn't even exist) are being killed off.
Balthy is not really great at, you know, caring. So he doesn't. Then he makes a funny about Cass and leaves.
The bros call Bobby and tell him what's up. Bobby says that the only person he could think of that could be responsible for the deaths would be Fate.
The boys wanna know what would be the easiest way then to get rid of this Fate person.
Bobby tells them that the easiest thing they could do would be to just ask Balthy to resink the ship.
Dean says no. Because if the boat sinks then Ellen and Jo will go back to being dead.
Bobby has a sad about that since he's now married to Ellen. He tells Sam and Dean to make sure to keep the angels from sinking that ship.
So Dean and Sam wonder how they are supposed to save 50,000 people when they don't even know who they are or where they're at. Dean says they know at least one of the people that need saving.
They go back to Douche Lawyer Russo's office. The boys are calling to him as he walks down the street on his cell. He almost gets run over but the boys pull him out of the way just in time. Douche Lawyer Russo acts like a huge dick as opposed to someone who was just saved by these two gorgeous men and he walks out in the road and gets hit by a bus. That asshole kinda deserved it, really.
It's commercial time again, my friends.
It seems Douche Lawyer Russo got smeared by a bus that had his own law ad on the back of it. Dean starts to make a funny. Sam tells him that it is perhaps too soon for that as he just got run down like six seconds ago.
Sam sees the chippy in the window of some office. Dean asks what she looked like. Sam says kinda like a librarian. Dean says your kind of librarian or my kind of librarian. Sam says well she had clothes on if that's what Dean means.
The boys stop their brotherly banter and head across the street to find the chippy. They go into some store to see where the chippy aka Fate is hiding.
More flashlights of intrigue.
The clock on the wall stops.
Fate Chippy is in some kind of kitchen turning all the burners of the stove on.
The clock starts again.
Flashlights of intrigue go out. So Dean breaks out his lighter. No Dean!!!
He's clicking it on and opening the door to the kitchen and KA-BLOOEY! But not.
Cass saved the Winchesters at the last second.
He tells them that Fate is really cheesed off at them for that whole "stopping the apocalypse" thing. Because in doing that they have rendered Fate useless.
The boys wanna know what they need to do. Cass tells them to kill Fate.
Sam and Dean are all "Whaaaaaaaa?!?!?" How are they supposed to do that?
Cass tells them to "tempt Fate."
Meanwhile, back at Bobby and Ellen's Temporary Love Shack, the pair are talking about this Fate thing. Ellen thinks the easiest way to make things right would be to sink the ship but Bobby's all Nuh-uh cos he knows that Ellen and Jo will be kaput if that happens.
Bobby tells Ellen that if the ship sinks then she and Jo will be dead. He tells her that the boys aren't gonna sink the Titanic. The two share a touching, drinky moment.
Back to the Winchesters. They're trying to tempt Fate by just walking around town. But now there are skateboarders and huge, barking dogs and dudes juggling knives in the boy's path and it's making them nervous and paranoid.
Oh no. Now the dudes are juggling flaming thingies. Dean hurries through, followed by Sam. They continue walking down the street "tempting Fate."
They pass by a guy with a nail gun. Dean makes a funny saying "who do you have to kill to get killed around here." Hee hee!
Dean and Sam think that maybe Cass was wrong about Fate wanting them dead.
Just then, some big machine starts to fall off the roof, heading straight for the boys!
Time pauses.
Dammit! Time for another commercial.
Sam and Dean are frozen staring up at the machine thing. Enter Cass. Thank God!
Now Fate is pissed at Cass for ruining all her work. She doesn't know what to do next. She went to Heaven and no one would even talk to her.
Fate thinks that Cass is behind Balthy unsinking the Titanic because of the whole Heaven war and whatnot.
She tells Cass that if he doesn't make things right and sink the boat then she'll kill Sam and Dean.
Fate tells Cass that she has two sisters and if anything were to happen to her, then they would come after Sam and Dean and straight up kill them for revenge.
Cass tells Balth to stop cos he's right behind Fate about to kill her. Fate turns around and sees him. Balthazar looks like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Oh Balthy! You so crazy!
The three make a deal to go back and sink the Titanic.
They disappear.
The big machine thing falls.
Last commercial of the night.
Sam and Dean are asleep in the Impala. My Heart Will Go On is playing on the radio. (this is why i love you, Supernatural!)
They wake up. They're back in Bobby's garage.
Sam tells Dean that he had a really weird dream. Dean says there's no way Sam's dream was weirder than his.
They each tell what their dream was about and find out they dreamed the same thing.
Cass pops up. He tells them that it wasn't a dream. He tells them that he made Balthy go back and sink the Titanic so that Dean and Sam could live.
Dean asks about Jo and Ellen.
Cass tells them that he's sorry.
No one will remember this except Sam and Dean because Cass wanted them to remember it.
Dean jokes that Balthy needs this TV privileges revoked for causing so much shizz simply because he didn't like a chick flick.
Cass leaves.
Sam and Dean go inside and find Bobby sleeping like an angel. (no pun intended, Cass.)
They feel bad for Bobby for not getting to marry Ellen, not getting to remember any of what went down and still feeling guilty about Rufus.
Dean turns off the lamp and we see the picture on the side table that was of Bobby and Ellen is now just a pic of Bobby. Aww. Poor Bobby. Wonder who took the picture.
Next time on Supernatural...
We'll be time traveling to the old west. To tell you the truth, nothing in the Supernatural universe surprises me anymore. Time travel? Sure. Jo and Ellen are alive now? Of course, why not? Sam and Dean decide to adopt a poodle and name him Sir Fluffybottom the Third? Completely plausible. Aw. Now i kinda want them to adopt a puppy! ;)
Sunday, April 10, 2011
The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge: Round 4 Part 2 Reviews
Last we left our Wakefields, they were mere tots. Oh what a difference a few months makes. The dream of becoming a Unicorn has now been replaced by the need to be a Theta. That's right, friends. This month i'll be reviewing some of the Sweet Valley University series. But not just any Sweet Valley University. i'm going for the Thriller Editions! So let the "thrills" begin!
EvilEva reviews...... Sweet Valley University: The Roommate by Francine Pascal (although technically written by Laurie John.) Circa: 1996.
Dissecting The Cover:
Because you can judge a book by its cover!
*Creepy lady half-face. Ahhh! Run!
*Classifieds newspaper clipping. So this should end well. I think I'd rather read about the person in the ad below Isabella's:
SVU CAMPUS male to share with male. Sounds like the beginning of an amazing porno!
*There's a chick with a crap haircut looking superimposed on a balcony. And she's scared, y'all!
*This is an SVU Thriller Edition! So it's more thrilling than a regular SVU book. Which I imagine wouldn't be that hard to pull off.
*Sweet Valley High- now a hit TV series! A hit? Really? I find that hard to believe. Although, TRUTH SERUM TIME, I totally used to watch this show. *hangs head in shame*
Lets Review:
Isabella Ricci (no relation to Christina) is beautiful and stylish and popular and a Theta and has the perfect boyfriend. But she totally wrecks her Range Rover! How will she EVER get it fixed? She feels bad about asking her parents to pay for it and it's not like she could get a job or something. Jobs are for poor people! So Isabella has the grand idea of getting a roommate. This will solve all of her problems.
After interviewing a bunch of losers, Isabella finally finds the perfect roommate! Lisa is quiet and shy, she has stringy hair and hideous clothes. But y'all, she is soooo sweet! Until she turns all batshit crazy. She starts dressing and acting and walking and talking just like Isabella. She even gets the same haircut and starts lusting after Isabella's boyfriend, Danny. Plus she's becoming besties with Jessica, Isabella's BFF. So, you know, chick goes all Single White Female. Isabella starts to realize homegirl is out of her gourd and wants to distance herself from Lisa. But Lisa is crazy, y'all. And she "won't be ignored, Dan."
So Lisa tells lies and turns all of Isabella's peeps against her. She molests Danny in the middle of the night. Then she kills Isabella's cat. Yes. SHE KILLS HER CAT! THROWS IT OFF THE BALCONY! Just throws it right off!
But Isabella learns that Lisa has psychological problems because she "accidentally" killed her twin sister when she was younger and all this time that Isabella thought Lisa transferred from a school in New York she was really in a mental institution. Lisa figures out that Isabella now knows her secret and she is pissed. So she ties her up and makes her write a suicide note but Isabella escapes and ends up in the basement but Lisa finds her and takes her up to the tenth floor. The police are closing in on her crazy ass. But suddenly Lisa gets all head-trippy and thinks her dead sister is calling to her from the elevator shaft. She goes to reunite with Dead Sister and falls down the shaft. And dies. Now Isabella's life can go back to being perfect!
And we feel a little bit bad for Lisa cos all she really wanted was her sister's love. And then we remember: SHE KiLLED A CAT! And we're kinda glad she fell down that elevator shaft.
Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Jessica, for having these thoughts after she plans to get Isabella kicked out of Theta house for "stealing" her boyfriend:
"I'm sorry, Ms. Ricci. We would hire you for the position but I see here that you were kicked out of your sorority. I'm afraid we have no place for you now at the Law Offices of Dingledouche, Turdburglerton, and Wakefield."
Bonus Shizz!:
There's an ad in the back of the book for the Sweet Valley High Fan Club! OMG!!! As a member, you'll receive:
a membership card with your own personal fan club ID number! a Sweet Valley High treasure box! Sweet Valley High stationery! official fan club pencil! 3 bookmarks! a "members only" door hanger! 2 skeins of embroidery thread with flower barrette instruction leaflet! 2 editions of The Oracle newsletter! plus exclusive shizz like savings and contests! All for only $6.25!
The membership card will look so awesome next to my BSC one!
EvilEva reviews...... Sweet Valley University: Killer At Sea by Francine Pascal (although technically written by Laurie John.)
Circa: 1997.
Dissecting The Cover:
*Jessica and her boyfriend Nick are all cuddled up on a boat. Nick is wearing really pink swim trunks. It's actually kinda disturbing how really pink they are. But, it was the 90s, I guess that's as good an excuse as any to be seen in really pink swim trunks.
*Hey look! That cloud is shaped like a creepy murderer!
*Yet another Thriller Edition. You feeling the thrill yet?
*Ooh y'all, we could win a beach vacation! I'd like to know how many people entered this contest after reading this book. It's not a great endorsement for beachy fun. (see reason for my wondering in Lets Review.)
Lets Review:
This week Jessica is dating Nick Fox: The Worst Detective In The World. But who gives a shit if he's no good at detecting!? Because he is so hot, y'all! He's got emerald green eyes, a hot body and a penis. And a boat! He's gonna take Jess on a mini vacay so he can relax after completely botching a kidnapping negotiation because he is The Worst Detective In The World. It'll be just the two of them and the great, vast ocean.
But, oh no, there's some dude named Eric and he needs their help. His boat is on fire and his girlfriend is dead. So Nick Fox: The Worst Detective In The World leaves his girlfriend on a boat that she can't pilot, out in the middle of nowhere with a large stranger that gives her the uh oh feeling so that he can go play hero and try to rescue a woman that is reportedly dead. Because he is The Worst Detective In The World.
So, surprise surprise, Eric turns out to be a homicidal maniac. And after about 2 seconds of hanging out with Jessica Wakefield he realizes that he's in love with her and he won't let anyone stand in his way of being with her. Especially not Nick Fox: The Worst Detective In The World.
Meanwhile, on the S.S. Distraction, Nick Fox: The Worst Detective In The World FiNALLY figures out that Eric is cra-za-zee. He finds Eric's dead girlfriend and, yep, she's actually dead which means he rowed his dumb ass all the way out here, leaving his own girlfriend in the clutches of a loon, for absolutely NOTHiNG. Then he finds a videotape and discovers that Dead Girlfriend is actually the woman from the botched kidnapping! Which makes Eric the kidnapper! Holy Shizz! We knew that like 100 pages ago because, unlike Nick Fox, we are not The Worst Detective In The World!
Back on The Unrequited Love Boat, Jess tries to go along with Crazy Eric's craziness so as not to rock the boat, as it were. But, as I may have mentioned, Eric is crazy and thus he goes crazy. Jessica manages to throw him overboard and thinks that she's finally safe. Wrong! Eric gets caught on the ladder and pulls himself up onto the boat and hides in the bathroom.
Meanwhile, back on dry land, Elizabeth is concerned for Jessica's safety after receiving a terrifying call that ended with a splash. She meets Matt, an extremely sexy boat-haver and convinces him to take her to the middle of the ocean to find her sister. But instead of finding The Unrequited Love Boat, they find the S.S. Distraction first. They save Nick's stupid ass from nearly drowning.
They finally find The Unrequited Love Boat and "save" Jessica, not knowing that Eric is nestled sweetly between the toilet and the sink below deck.
Sexy Sailor Matt tows the boat, Eric sneaks up on Elizabeth thinking that she's Jessica and starts strangling her. The real Jessica sees this and tells Nick Fox: The Worst Detective In The World to go Do Something. So Nick tries to kick Eric's ass but it turns out that Nick is not only The Worst Detective In The World but he's also The Sissiest Fighter There Ever Was. While Nick's getting his balls handed to him, Jess is trying to revive Liz. She finally succeeds and they come up with a plan to save Useless Detective Nick. Jessica, I shit you not, PRETENDS TO BE A GHOST and scares this roughian while Liz sneaks up on him and hits him over the head with a deck chair, knocking him out. Elizabeth ties him up while Jessica tends to the wounds of Nick Fox: World's Biggest Pussy.
The police are waiting at the marina, ready to haul Eric off to prison. Nick is congratulated on a job well done even though Jessica is the one that distracted Eric and Liz is the one that whacked him over the head with a chair and tied him up and the only thing Nick did was nearly bleed to death. Because he is The Worst Detective In The World!
Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Jessica, for her description of Eric after learning his boat was on fire and his girlfriend was dead:
Bonus Shizz!:
There's a part of the form to Win A Beach Vacation that I find equal parts hilarious and absurd. I'll get to that in a minute.
First, I'd like to say that I'm totally peeved that I missed the cutoff date, which was September 26th, 1997.
Second, check out the price differential between Grand and First:
Grand Prize= trip for two to Miami estimated at $2000.
First Prize= Sweet Valley books estimated at $3.99.
Way to dig deep, Bantam Doubleday Dell.
And finally, this is the hilarious/absurd part which I will write as it is written:
The winner, if Canadian, will be required to answer correctly a time-limited arithmetic skill question in order to receive the prize.
WHAT?!?! What in the fuck does that even mean? If you're Canadian you have to solve a math problem before you can go to Miami? Is like, if one Canadian takes a plane to Miami going 550 mph and another Canadian is on a flight going 60o mph with 2 layovers, which Canadian will arrive in Miami first?
I don't have the answer. I'm glad I'm not Canadian though because I suck at math and thus I'd never get to Miami.
Anyhoo, that concludes April's Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge reviews. Be sure to check in next month for even more old-timey book goodness. ;)
EvilEva reviews...... Sweet Valley University: The Roommate by Francine Pascal (although technically written by Laurie John.) Circa: 1996.
Dissecting The Cover:
Because you can judge a book by its cover!
*Creepy lady half-face. Ahhh! Run!
*Classifieds newspaper clipping. So this should end well. I think I'd rather read about the person in the ad below Isabella's:
SVU CAMPUS male to share with male. Sounds like the beginning of an amazing porno!
*There's a chick with a crap haircut looking superimposed on a balcony. And she's scared, y'all!
*This is an SVU Thriller Edition! So it's more thrilling than a regular SVU book. Which I imagine wouldn't be that hard to pull off.
*Sweet Valley High- now a hit TV series! A hit? Really? I find that hard to believe. Although, TRUTH SERUM TIME, I totally used to watch this show. *hangs head in shame*
Lets Review:
Isabella Ricci (no relation to Christina) is beautiful and stylish and popular and a Theta and has the perfect boyfriend. But she totally wrecks her Range Rover! How will she EVER get it fixed? She feels bad about asking her parents to pay for it and it's not like she could get a job or something. Jobs are for poor people! So Isabella has the grand idea of getting a roommate. This will solve all of her problems.
After interviewing a bunch of losers, Isabella finally finds the perfect roommate! Lisa is quiet and shy, she has stringy hair and hideous clothes. But y'all, she is soooo sweet! Until she turns all batshit crazy. She starts dressing and acting and walking and talking just like Isabella. She even gets the same haircut and starts lusting after Isabella's boyfriend, Danny. Plus she's becoming besties with Jessica, Isabella's BFF. So, you know, chick goes all Single White Female. Isabella starts to realize homegirl is out of her gourd and wants to distance herself from Lisa. But Lisa is crazy, y'all. And she "won't be ignored, Dan."
So Lisa tells lies and turns all of Isabella's peeps against her. She molests Danny in the middle of the night. Then she kills Isabella's cat. Yes. SHE KILLS HER CAT! THROWS IT OFF THE BALCONY! Just throws it right off!
But Isabella learns that Lisa has psychological problems because she "accidentally" killed her twin sister when she was younger and all this time that Isabella thought Lisa transferred from a school in New York she was really in a mental institution. Lisa figures out that Isabella now knows her secret and she is pissed. So she ties her up and makes her write a suicide note but Isabella escapes and ends up in the basement but Lisa finds her and takes her up to the tenth floor. The police are closing in on her crazy ass. But suddenly Lisa gets all head-trippy and thinks her dead sister is calling to her from the elevator shaft. She goes to reunite with Dead Sister and falls down the shaft. And dies. Now Isabella's life can go back to being perfect!
And we feel a little bit bad for Lisa cos all she really wanted was her sister's love. And then we remember: SHE KiLLED A CAT! And we're kinda glad she fell down that elevator shaft.
Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Jessica, for having these thoughts after she plans to get Isabella kicked out of Theta house for "stealing" her boyfriend:
Getting Isabella kicked out of the sorority was serious business. It could ruin her college career, Jessica thought guilty. It could ruin her life.Isn't that a little dramatic? At what point would getting kicked out of a sorority "ruin your life."
"I'm sorry, Ms. Ricci. We would hire you for the position but I see here that you were kicked out of your sorority. I'm afraid we have no place for you now at the Law Offices of Dingledouche, Turdburglerton, and Wakefield."
Bonus Shizz!:
There's an ad in the back of the book for the Sweet Valley High Fan Club! OMG!!! As a member, you'll receive:
a membership card with your own personal fan club ID number! a Sweet Valley High treasure box! Sweet Valley High stationery! official fan club pencil! 3 bookmarks! a "members only" door hanger! 2 skeins of embroidery thread with flower barrette instruction leaflet! 2 editions of The Oracle newsletter! plus exclusive shizz like savings and contests! All for only $6.25!
The membership card will look so awesome next to my BSC one!
EvilEva reviews...... Sweet Valley University: Killer At Sea by Francine Pascal (although technically written by Laurie John.)
Circa: 1997.
Dissecting The Cover:
*Jessica and her boyfriend Nick are all cuddled up on a boat. Nick is wearing really pink swim trunks. It's actually kinda disturbing how really pink they are. But, it was the 90s, I guess that's as good an excuse as any to be seen in really pink swim trunks.
*Hey look! That cloud is shaped like a creepy murderer!
*Yet another Thriller Edition. You feeling the thrill yet?
*Ooh y'all, we could win a beach vacation! I'd like to know how many people entered this contest after reading this book. It's not a great endorsement for beachy fun. (see reason for my wondering in Lets Review.)
Lets Review:
This week Jessica is dating Nick Fox: The Worst Detective In The World. But who gives a shit if he's no good at detecting!? Because he is so hot, y'all! He's got emerald green eyes, a hot body and a penis. And a boat! He's gonna take Jess on a mini vacay so he can relax after completely botching a kidnapping negotiation because he is The Worst Detective In The World. It'll be just the two of them and the great, vast ocean.
But, oh no, there's some dude named Eric and he needs their help. His boat is on fire and his girlfriend is dead. So Nick Fox: The Worst Detective In The World leaves his girlfriend on a boat that she can't pilot, out in the middle of nowhere with a large stranger that gives her the uh oh feeling so that he can go play hero and try to rescue a woman that is reportedly dead. Because he is The Worst Detective In The World.
So, surprise surprise, Eric turns out to be a homicidal maniac. And after about 2 seconds of hanging out with Jessica Wakefield he realizes that he's in love with her and he won't let anyone stand in his way of being with her. Especially not Nick Fox: The Worst Detective In The World.
Meanwhile, on the S.S. Distraction, Nick Fox: The Worst Detective In The World FiNALLY figures out that Eric is cra-za-zee. He finds Eric's dead girlfriend and, yep, she's actually dead which means he rowed his dumb ass all the way out here, leaving his own girlfriend in the clutches of a loon, for absolutely NOTHiNG. Then he finds a videotape and discovers that Dead Girlfriend is actually the woman from the botched kidnapping! Which makes Eric the kidnapper! Holy Shizz! We knew that like 100 pages ago because, unlike Nick Fox, we are not The Worst Detective In The World!
Back on The Unrequited Love Boat, Jess tries to go along with Crazy Eric's craziness so as not to rock the boat, as it were. But, as I may have mentioned, Eric is crazy and thus he goes crazy. Jessica manages to throw him overboard and thinks that she's finally safe. Wrong! Eric gets caught on the ladder and pulls himself up onto the boat and hides in the bathroom.
Meanwhile, back on dry land, Elizabeth is concerned for Jessica's safety after receiving a terrifying call that ended with a splash. She meets Matt, an extremely sexy boat-haver and convinces him to take her to the middle of the ocean to find her sister. But instead of finding The Unrequited Love Boat, they find the S.S. Distraction first. They save Nick's stupid ass from nearly drowning.
They finally find The Unrequited Love Boat and "save" Jessica, not knowing that Eric is nestled sweetly between the toilet and the sink below deck.
Sexy Sailor Matt tows the boat, Eric sneaks up on Elizabeth thinking that she's Jessica and starts strangling her. The real Jessica sees this and tells Nick Fox: The Worst Detective In The World to go Do Something. So Nick tries to kick Eric's ass but it turns out that Nick is not only The Worst Detective In The World but he's also The Sissiest Fighter There Ever Was. While Nick's getting his balls handed to him, Jess is trying to revive Liz. She finally succeeds and they come up with a plan to save Useless Detective Nick. Jessica, I shit you not, PRETENDS TO BE A GHOST and scares this roughian while Liz sneaks up on him and hits him over the head with a deck chair, knocking him out. Elizabeth ties him up while Jessica tends to the wounds of Nick Fox: World's Biggest Pussy.
The police are waiting at the marina, ready to haul Eric off to prison. Nick is congratulated on a job well done even though Jessica is the one that distracted Eric and Liz is the one that whacked him over the head with a chair and tied him up and the only thing Nick did was nearly bleed to death. Because he is The Worst Detective In The World!
Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Jessica, for her description of Eric after learning his boat was on fire and his girlfriend was dead:
Poor Eric, Jessica thought, her spirits leaden as she searched through the storage compartment for a thermal blanket to warm him. He's so young and good-looking, with so much to live for. I don't know how anyone could survive a tragedy like that.Luckily he's so young and good-looking so it shouldn't be that hard for him to find someone new to bone. Thank goodness he'll be ok.
Bonus Shizz!:
There's a part of the form to Win A Beach Vacation that I find equal parts hilarious and absurd. I'll get to that in a minute.
First, I'd like to say that I'm totally peeved that I missed the cutoff date, which was September 26th, 1997.
Second, check out the price differential between Grand and First:
Grand Prize= trip for two to Miami estimated at $2000.
First Prize= Sweet Valley books estimated at $3.99.
Way to dig deep, Bantam Doubleday Dell.
And finally, this is the hilarious/absurd part which I will write as it is written:
The winner, if Canadian, will be required to answer correctly a time-limited arithmetic skill question in order to receive the prize.
WHAT?!?! What in the fuck does that even mean? If you're Canadian you have to solve a math problem before you can go to Miami? Is like, if one Canadian takes a plane to Miami going 550 mph and another Canadian is on a flight going 60o mph with 2 layovers, which Canadian will arrive in Miami first?
I don't have the answer. I'm glad I'm not Canadian though because I suck at math and thus I'd never get to Miami.
Anyhoo, that concludes April's Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge reviews. Be sure to check in next month for even more old-timey book goodness. ;)
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Monday, April 4, 2011
The Super Nostalgic Book Flashback Challenge: Round 4 Part 1 Reviews
What up, fellow nostalgia lovers? I think it's time for us to put on our big girl panties and start reading literature that's a little more sophisticated. So this month we're gonna take a ride down Fear Street and drive straight on through til we reach Sweet Valley. Who's with me!
EvilEva reviews...... Hit and Run by R.L. Stine.
Circa: 1992.
Dissecting The Cover:
Because you can judge a book by its cover!
*Aww! The chalk outline guy is waving at me! Or possibly doing "the sprinkler." It's unclear if I'm being greeted or if I just got served.
*The tagline reads:
Lets Review:
Cassie has three guy friends. Which is totally cray cray because, HELLO!, she's a girl! Girls can't be friends with BOYS! They have wee-wees, for Christ sake! But against all odds, Cassie somehow manages to maintain a friendship with these three penis-wielders.
There's Long Lost Baldwin Brother Scott, who Cassie has a major crush on even though he giggles and is "a sheep." I never really understood why Long Lost Baldwin Brother Scott's penchant for following the crowd was relevant to the story but Cassie mentions it like 3 or 4 times in the book so I guess it matters to her.
Then there's Winks. He's the practical joker. His target of choice? Friend number three! Eddie! Eddie is the scaredy cat of the group. Everyone thinks it's so hilarious to crack on Eddie.
Anyhoozle, the four friends are days away from getting their licenses. So one night they think it'll be a great idea to borrow-without-asking one of their parents cars and practice driving on a long semi-deserted road. This should work flawlessly.
Shocker! It doesn't. With Eddie at the wheel, the teens totes run over some guy. The guy is dead now, y'all. They totally killed that guy. But instead of reporting it, they decide to push the body to the side of the road, haul ass, and spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it ever happened. But they can't just forget about it. Well, truth be told, to begin with they can kinda just forget about it. I mean, at times they're down right cavalier about it.
But then the body starts haunting them via phone calls and Polaroid pictures. Then Winks gets mowed down and ends up in the hospital. The body wants the kids as dead as they've made him.
But is it really the dead body causing all this mayhem? Nope. It's Eddie. He's tired of being the fool Mr. T pities. So he decided to play a joke on his so-called "friends." He borrowed a dead body (like ya do) from his cousin Jerry that works at the morgue. They staged the whole thing to frighten the fuck out of Cassie, Winks and Scott. But then Eddie started taking things Too Far, what with running over Winks and sending Cassie threatening Weekend at Bernie's photos.
So Cassie nearly gets killed by Eddie but luckily Cousin Jerry the Morgue Loan Officer and Long Lost Baldwin Brother Scott realize that Eddie's screws have come loose and they save the day just in time!
Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
This book was riddled with ridiculousness. So I couldn't pick just one. Instead, here are my top three...
Cassie, for her inspiring pep talk to Eddie after they have run over a man, presumably killed him, kicked him to the curb and decided to NEVER speak of it again:
Next, we have Eddie, revealing to Cassie who the stiff is:
Lastly, courtesy of Cousin Jerry the Morgue Loan Officer, after he finds out Crazy Eddie has been hiding the dead body in the trunk all this time:
I would be willing to bet that Jerry no longer works at that morgue. I would hope so anyway.
EvilEva reviews...... Party Summer by R.L. Stine.
Circa: 1991.
Dissecting The Cover:
*Phoebe Cates is at the beach with Rachel Hunter. They are very frightened by a menacing shadow. Not frightened enough to get out of their sexy lounging poses but frightened enough to make little gasp-y faces with their mouths.
*It's a Fear Street Super Chiller! Which is superer and chillier than a regular old Fear Street novel.
*Tagline says whaaat!?!:
Lets Review:
It's summertime! And Cari, Jan, Eric and Craig are super stoked to leave dull, boring Shadyside for the exciting, beautiful Piney Island! There they'll work in the majestic Howling Wolf Inn for a man named Simon Fear. And with a name like Simon FEAR, everything's gotta be on the up-and-up.
But, shocker! It's not! Once the kids get there, they discover the inn is deserted. Oh no! Now who will they fetch towels and mojitos for? But fear not (ha! see what I did there?) Simon has work for the four to do. They can help renovate the inn. But shizz starts gettin' real. The teens stumble upon a secret passage, Cari is "haunted" by a "ghost," Jan disappears, Simon and his brother Edward get in a fight, Edward shoots Simon and would very much like to shoot everyone else on the island. Because, turns out, Edward is crazeballs and likes to hunt----PEOPLE! Shit! Cari, Eric and Craig are people!
So they run all over the inn and the island trying to escape this lunatic. They try to call the cops and end up finding Simon! He's not dead! But he's also Edward! Whaaaaaaaa!?!?
It seems homeboy has a split personality. And a love of people-hunting. Run!!!
But they can't run because Simon/Edward has his rifle pointed at them. Cari tells him to shoot her first. He does. Nothing happens. You see, his manservant/caretaker/enabler Martin doesn't care if Simward goes off on a literal man-hunt, frightening the bejesus out of some poor teenagers who think they're at a resort as guests but he does draw the line at Edmon actually being able to kill them. Thanks Martin. You know, you could have saved us a lot of time and terror and many a pair of now shit-stained underwear if you had just told us when we showed up, "Hey. Uh, you guys may just wanna split cause this dude is completely batshit." Thanks for the great party summer, you useless douche.
Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Jan, for giving us the phrase "party summer:"
Even though that was ridiculous, I managed to find two more gems of ridiculousness.
Here's Cari describing her crush Eric:
Here's a bit of advice Cari, mirror sunglasses , jean cutoffs and a ponytail are pretty much the rapist trifecta. You may not want to have a crush on this particular guy. Especially if your next thought is "I can't wait to go for a ride in his windowless van."
And finally, we're back to Jan who knows a thing or two about ghosts:
And so ends the first half of April's Flashback Challenge. Check back soon for part 2 where we'll be trading in Shadyside for Sweet Valley!
EvilEva reviews...... Hit and Run by R.L. Stine.
Circa: 1992.
Dissecting The Cover:
Because you can judge a book by its cover!
*Aww! The chalk outline guy is waving at me! Or possibly doing "the sprinkler." It's unclear if I'm being greeted or if I just got served.
*The tagline reads:
Look before you cross...Or maybe you should "look before you plow over someone." Maybe watch where you're going, car-haver.
Lets Review:
Cassie has three guy friends. Which is totally cray cray because, HELLO!, she's a girl! Girls can't be friends with BOYS! They have wee-wees, for Christ sake! But against all odds, Cassie somehow manages to maintain a friendship with these three penis-wielders.
There's Long Lost Baldwin Brother Scott, who Cassie has a major crush on even though he giggles and is "a sheep." I never really understood why Long Lost Baldwin Brother Scott's penchant for following the crowd was relevant to the story but Cassie mentions it like 3 or 4 times in the book so I guess it matters to her.
Then there's Winks. He's the practical joker. His target of choice? Friend number three! Eddie! Eddie is the scaredy cat of the group. Everyone thinks it's so hilarious to crack on Eddie.
Anyhoozle, the four friends are days away from getting their licenses. So one night they think it'll be a great idea to borrow-without-asking one of their parents cars and practice driving on a long semi-deserted road. This should work flawlessly.
Shocker! It doesn't. With Eddie at the wheel, the teens totes run over some guy. The guy is dead now, y'all. They totally killed that guy. But instead of reporting it, they decide to push the body to the side of the road, haul ass, and spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it ever happened. But they can't just forget about it. Well, truth be told, to begin with they can kinda just forget about it. I mean, at times they're down right cavalier about it.
But then the body starts haunting them via phone calls and Polaroid pictures. Then Winks gets mowed down and ends up in the hospital. The body wants the kids as dead as they've made him.
But is it really the dead body causing all this mayhem? Nope. It's Eddie. He's tired of being the fool Mr. T pities. So he decided to play a joke on his so-called "friends." He borrowed a dead body (like ya do) from his cousin Jerry that works at the morgue. They staged the whole thing to frighten the fuck out of Cassie, Winks and Scott. But then Eddie started taking things Too Far, what with running over Winks and sending Cassie threatening Weekend at Bernie's photos.
So Cassie nearly gets killed by Eddie but luckily Cousin Jerry the Morgue Loan Officer and Long Lost Baldwin Brother Scott realize that Eddie's screws have come loose and they save the day just in time!
Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
This book was riddled with ridiculousness. So I couldn't pick just one. Instead, here are my top three...
Cassie, for her inspiring pep talk to Eddie after they have run over a man, presumably killed him, kicked him to the curb and decided to NEVER speak of it again:
"Winks is right, Eddie," Cassie said, finding herself becoming a little impatient with him. "There were no witnesses. That was really lucky."Yeah Eddie. Quit your fucking whining. Being involved in a hit and run is just a part of learning to drive. I mean, you're gonna kill a few people before you get the hang of it. You just hope that no one sees you and go on with your life. Uh duh!
Next, we have Eddie, revealing to Cassie who the stiff is:
"Some homeless guy," Eddie replied, shrugging his narrow shoulders. "No one claimed him. So Jerry let me borrow him."I wasn't aware the morgue is somewhat of a dead person library where you can check out the deceased presumably for pranks and perhaps Halloween decorations. I wonder what their return policy is.
Lastly, courtesy of Cousin Jerry the Morgue Loan Officer, after he finds out Crazy Eddie has been hiding the dead body in the trunk all this time:
"Well, let's get it out so I can return it," Jerry said, still holding on to Eddie, but moving quickly toward Eddie's car. "Okay if we put it in your trunk, Scott?"Sure Jerry, why not. I'm sure my parents won't wonder why there's dead person goo all over the inside of their trunk. And I'm equally sure they won't mind that it smells like 3 day old homeless man in there now.
I would be willing to bet that Jerry no longer works at that morgue. I would hope so anyway.
Circa: 1991.
Dissecting The Cover:
*Phoebe Cates is at the beach with Rachel Hunter. They are very frightened by a menacing shadow. Not frightened enough to get out of their sexy lounging poses but frightened enough to make little gasp-y faces with their mouths.
*It's a Fear Street Super Chiller! Which is superer and chillier than a regular old Fear Street novel.
*Tagline says whaaat!?!:
There's no vacation from the terrors of Fear Street!That's right. The terror will follow your ass. Especially if the place you decide to vacation at is OWNED BY THE FEAR FAMILY! In that case you're kinda just asking to be terrorized, really.
Lets Review:
It's summertime! And Cari, Jan, Eric and Craig are super stoked to leave dull, boring Shadyside for the exciting, beautiful Piney Island! There they'll work in the majestic Howling Wolf Inn for a man named Simon Fear. And with a name like Simon FEAR, everything's gotta be on the up-and-up.
But, shocker! It's not! Once the kids get there, they discover the inn is deserted. Oh no! Now who will they fetch towels and mojitos for? But fear not (ha! see what I did there?) Simon has work for the four to do. They can help renovate the inn. But shizz starts gettin' real. The teens stumble upon a secret passage, Cari is "haunted" by a "ghost," Jan disappears, Simon and his brother Edward get in a fight, Edward shoots Simon and would very much like to shoot everyone else on the island. Because, turns out, Edward is crazeballs and likes to hunt----PEOPLE! Shit! Cari, Eric and Craig are people!
So they run all over the inn and the island trying to escape this lunatic. They try to call the cops and end up finding Simon! He's not dead! But he's also Edward! Whaaaaaaaa!?!?
It seems homeboy has a split personality. And a love of people-hunting. Run!!!
But they can't run because Simon/Edward has his rifle pointed at them. Cari tells him to shoot her first. He does. Nothing happens. You see, his manservant/caretaker/enabler Martin doesn't care if Simward goes off on a literal man-hunt, frightening the bejesus out of some poor teenagers who think they're at a resort as guests but he does draw the line at Edmon actually being able to kill them. Thanks Martin. You know, you could have saved us a lot of time and terror and many a pair of now shit-stained underwear if you had just told us when we showed up, "Hey. Uh, you guys may just wanna split cause this dude is completely batshit." Thanks for the great party summer, you useless douche.
Say Whaaat!?!:
And the most ridiculous line in the entire book goes to...
Jan, for giving us the phrase "party summer:"
Truth be told, I remember this book. I remember reading it at some point during my youth. Why do I remember this particular book? Because even as a tweenie/teeny who knew little to nothing, even I knew at that time and now, that Party Summer is about the stupidest name for a book.
Jan had immediately said what she thought the point of the summer would be---to meet great new guys and to party, party, party. "It's going to be a party summer." That was Jan's phrase.
Even though that was ridiculous, I managed to find two more gems of ridiculousness.
Here's Cari describing her crush Eric:
He's cute in those mirror sunglasses and jean cutoffs, she thought. I like his ponytail too. Her thoughts surprised her.They surprised me too. Because what girl has ever thought the words "I like his ponytail?"
Here's a bit of advice Cari, mirror sunglasses , jean cutoffs and a ponytail are pretty much the rapist trifecta. You may not want to have a crush on this particular guy. Especially if your next thought is "I can't wait to go for a ride in his windowless van."
And finally, we're back to Jan who knows a thing or two about ghosts:
"Maybe now you'll all believe me," Jan said, examining her sticky fingers. "This is a well-known supernatural phenomenon. A ghost has materialized in this room."Or masturbated in it. Wash your sticky fingers, Jan. You don't know where that ghost has been!
And so ends the first half of April's Flashback Challenge. Check back soon for part 2 where we'll be trading in Shadyside for Sweet Valley!
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And Now We Have Our Peeta And Gale!
You read right, y'all! We have our Peeta and Gale. In case you were hanging out under a rock a few hours ago when the news broke, let me dish it out for you.
Peeta will be played by Josh Hutcherson who is no stranger to the whole Books Into Movies racket. He previously starred in Cirque de Freak: The Vampire's Assistant and Bridge to Terabithia. Most recently, he played in the movie The Kids Are All Right.
Playing Gale will be Aussie actor Liam Hemsworth. You probably know him as Miley Cyrus' love interest in The Last Song.
i'm not really all that jazzed about either choice. Although, truth be told, i never really had an actor in mind for either of them so i can't be that disappointed. They just aren't what i pictured either character looking like. But who knows? Perhaps i could be totally wrong and when the movie actually comes out i'll be all swoonarific about both of them.
So what do y'all think? Dream cast or no? Dish copious shizz in the comments please.
Now the waiting game continues for all of our other fave characters. (Who will be Rue? Cinna? Haymitch?)
Peeta will be played by Josh Hutcherson who is no stranger to the whole Books Into Movies racket. He previously starred in Cirque de Freak: The Vampire's Assistant and Bridge to Terabithia. Most recently, he played in the movie The Kids Are All Right.
Playing Gale will be Aussie actor Liam Hemsworth. You probably know him as Miley Cyrus' love interest in The Last Song.
i'm not really all that jazzed about either choice. Although, truth be told, i never really had an actor in mind for either of them so i can't be that disappointed. They just aren't what i pictured either character looking like. But who knows? Perhaps i could be totally wrong and when the movie actually comes out i'll be all swoonarific about both of them.
So what do y'all think? Dream cast or no? Dish copious shizz in the comments please.
Now the waiting game continues for all of our other fave characters. (Who will be Rue? Cinna? Haymitch?)
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